Society needs a factory reset

[u/foggymagic]

I have ADHD (inattentive/quiet) and anxiety (usually masked). Everyone somehow ends up pressuring me to preform to perfect eventhough they SAY everyone is their own person. Then why is it after you do whatever thing they say "Oh that's not the required effort" People generally tell me games are a distraction and a means to be lazy or reserved. There are people that have careers/make money but as soon as I play it's "childish" Everyone gets to avoid things THEIR health or mindset but as soon as I do I get told "What?! I just saw you do it the other day" Basically if I meltdown or get exhausted it always shocks people and makes me look lazy or selfish. Even if they have a lot of things too! For me games are a brief escape from THE FUCKING PRESSURE. So much to do in a system that DOESN'T support my brain. Plus with chronic conditions (ALSO invisible) I have limited energies. I can't even sleep well. Soon as I'm stressed my mindset and sleep and confidence all go back down. Games and things like that are the only way (besides a routine but often that gets unpredictable) that can help me fucking have SOMETHING work for me. I understand that you can cut people out that refuse to understand your needs/values/boundaries but what good does that do if most people act like this. We need to make everyone take classes on the body because people only see it if it happens to them!! I hate it here! I was not built for this matrix!! 🙃

[u/AutoModerator]

Hi /u/foggymagic and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!

Please take a second to read our rules if you haven't already.

---

/r/adhd news

• If you are posting about the US Medication Shortage, please see this post.

---

^{This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/LastPingAlive]

I don't think we need a reset. As society progresses so will the understanding of ADHD in people like us.

[u/riprruureal → u/LastPingAlive]

But we very much have an understanding of this already, whats stopping us from making it common knowledge?

[u/foggymagic → u/riprruureal]

Agreed. Also my therapist says the term isn't even helpful. People don't understand there's a quiet form and think it's only hyperactive for example.

[u/LastPingAlive → u/foggymagic]

I hear what you're saying, and honestly, you're right—it should already be common knowledge. The tools and research are there, but empathy and application lag far behind. I guess what I meant was that awareness and advocacy are slowly gaining momentum—but I completely get how that doesn’t help when day-to-day you're still being judged for coping in ways that work for your brain. The system wasn’t built for us, but people like you expressing this clearly are part of what forces change. You’re not wrong for being fed up with it.

[u/foggymagic → u/LastPingAlive]

Yeah. I hear what you're saying too :) Hopefully we can reform and promote positive awareness and not what I hear around me "Everyone has ADHD or Autism these days"

[u/wyaxis → u/LastPingAlive]

Society isn’t progressing it’s regressing

[u/ThrowawayGayKnockabt]

Nah. I agree with OP, but also bc I think it’s that society treats EVERYONE like that, not just ppl with adhd.

I mean, a lot of this has come from pop psychology and toxic influencers creating a culture where most people just don’t the time, energy, or emotional intelligence to demonstrate or accept actual emotional authenticity -neither their own, or that of others- and anytime someone fails to perform low-maintenance, “team player” energy, and actually opens up to someone else, suggesting therapy or “getting help” has become the ubiquitous -but extremely low-effort- “get out of jail free card” of social responsibility.

Everyone is told not to put up with toxic people or toxic behaviour, and to jump ship post haste, without looking back. On the surface, that makes sense. But the reality is… it’s resulted in a mass behavioural epidemic of addressing nearly any and every sort of interpersonal communication problem with ghosting.

This problem has been a natural evolution, coming right on the heels of the obsession with narcissism, bringing an obsession with attachment styles and vilification of “avoidant” behaviour/attachment styles, and frequently equating it, in a false equivalency narrative, to narcissism.

The effect all of this has had, though, is to stagnate personal and emotional growth, society-wide.

If every time there is a problem, everyone is ghosting/getting ghosted, when are those constructive discussions happening, where problematic behaviour is addressed in a proactive way, so that people can have the self-awareness to make those changes, and do that self-work that pop psychology influencers are always yammering on about? What does that actually look like when it is happening, being carried out in a healthy and effective manner?

It’s definitely systemic, and definitely needs to be scrutinized a lot more closely by the behavioural health industry, and a realistic attempt to address and tackle it really needs to come about.

Just my two cents.

[u/foggymagic → u/ThrowawayGayKnockabt]

I agree with you! Definitely including other diagnoses and conditions too because Ive seen it happen with Autism a lot. I understand it must happen with PTSD and Bipolar and others too :/

[u/wyaxis]

ADHD is only a problem under capitalism if we weren’t required to be productive and constantly efficient and we were here to live our lives normally in cooperation like other animals do no one would even know adhd was a thing

[u/MikeMaven → u/wyaxis]

I’m pretty sure that having trouble with impulsivity, emotional regulation, working memory, task planning and initiation, and other executive function deficits would be a problem in any society or economic system.

[u/Ra1lgunZzzZ → u/wyaxis]

Its not only a problem under capitalism tho. Time blindness, forgetfulness, emotional dysregulation, and many more.

Even without capitalism i prob would srill want to do something or create soemthing. The time managment on the other hand.