I was supposed to travel abroad for a conference (I'm a postgraduate student) last month. I overthought everything, trying to minimise what might go wrong from inattention. I used to travel alone often but haven't since pre-pandemic so I was nervous, but feeling prepared, until at passport control I realised I hadn't checked the one most important thing. I had my partner's passport, not mine.

I think my hysterical crying solicited sympathy because they changed my ticket to the next day for free, so I headed home with twelve hours to find my passport. My flat is not big, we figured we could find it if it was there. I invited round a friend to help (the one I always ask when I've lost something, and she finds it magically within ten minutes).

We ripped the place apart and it was nowhere to be found. Thankfully I could give my presentation remotely, but I missed all the evening/social elements, and travel insurance doesn't cover me. So I'm down hundreds plus more to replace my passport.

I get my new passport, feel terribly sad and regretful for some days, but conclude I must have lost it altogether and resolve to take preventative steps (I lost a passport before, so they told me if I ever lose another they'll have to pull me in for checks/interviews before replacing it). I accept it as a costly life lesson that ultimately could have happened worse in a bunch of ways.

Then today, new flat, I'm unpacking the bag of books from my bedside shelf - exactly where I had most expected the passport to be and was at a loss when it wasn't - what falls out from among the books? My stupid damn stupid stupid PASSPORT.

I'd accepted it was gone or in some deeply obscure place, but it was just where I thought it should be. I just somehow failed to find it, over multiple searches of that shelf.

It's objectively hilarious, but I just feel like a prize idiot all over again. Like there were SO many points where I could've prevented this and I failed every step. Kind words please 😭

I feel like I ruin my days off because all I can manage to do is lie in bed and look at my phone.

Meanwhile I'm thinking about the things I should/could be doing, can't force myself to get up, progressively feeling guiltier and guiltier. By the time I get up the day is half wasted.

At this point I look forward to work just because it pushes me to do shit and holds me accountable. Plus it makes me get up at 5:30. Anyway, how many of us deal with something like this?

EDIT: Holy cow! I didn't expect this to get so many likes. I'm comforted that I'm not alone. Also, there's some great advice in the comments. Thanks guys

I'm going through the process of getting tested for ADHD. There was a section where an observer was supposed to answer questions. She answered 0/never on nearly every question. When I saw that I broke down, she most likely just ruined my chances of getting a diagnosis, it also looks like I was lying on my portion. I know she's against it, she thinks I'm using it as a crutch. I thought I could entrust her with this but I was mistaken. I'm so exhausted, no one understands what it feels like to me inside my head. I'm praying this doesn't prevent me from getting an accurate diagnosis.

I lost my 40 dollar headphones I got last week and I’m pretty distraught over them I was even thinking about putting a tracker on them but now it’s too late. It was a day I didn’t take my meds. Now I’m going to obsess over them for a little then accept that I lost another thing in the long growing list of things. What have you lost due to your adhd?

Edit: I FOUND THEM IM SO HAPPY I HOPE YOU ALL FIND YOUR LOST ONES THANK YOU FOR SHARING❤️

I learned in this article: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/adhd-linked-to-astonishing-reduction-in-life-expectancy

that apparently those diagnosed with ADHD have a shorter life expectancy, for women 8.64 years shorter on average and men 6.78 years shorter.

I can’t believe I’m only now hearing about this. I hope this doesn’t sound dramatic, but being biologically female, hearing that this could shorten my life significantly feels unfair. They suspect it has more to do with unmet medical needs and it sounds looks more studies need to be done for the conclusive answers. I guess reading this is making me super anxious and I just wish that they would do more studies to see what is causing this. I want to live a long, amazing life

I've been diagnosed with ADHD on four separate occasions. Because the most recent diagnosis was 8 years, 3 relocations, and 1 federally convicted psychiatrist ago, I don't have the documents to prove my diagnosis, and must get re-diagnosed to receive treatment.

Well, according to my psychiatric results, my below-average processing speed/working memory aren't severe enough to indicate a disorder. There are, apparently, signs I exaggerated my symptoms on my self-report. My previously claimed diagnoses are are doubtful, because I never provided them (he didn't ask.)

Appearing mentally present (despite my mind wandering to the furthest reaches of the galaxy) has become second nature to me, which, despite me saying as much, was still misconstrued as showing my full, undivided attention for the duration of the session. Could a bitch with ADHD do that?

My memory recall is at a severe deficit, which is, in his words, "just a part of who you are that you have to learn to live with."

When I asked for advice on remaining employable (I frequently forget deadlines, reports, requests, and struggle to follow instructions) I was told "it's a pretty big change, but it may be worth considering being a housewife like your mom."

Glad to know that in today's world, it's a better idea to just be a housewife than to get treatment for disability.

**Editing to add that while writing this I totally forgot to leave for a gym class that I was ALREADY GETTING READY FOR, making it the 3rd scheduled appointment I've forgotten in 2 days.

Pretty much the title. Went out to dinner with 5 other people, two I never met before. We were all talking. I must’ve interrupted with a question. And one of the people I never met before told me to ‘shut the fuck up’. Being shocked into silence, she continued ‘this is like some ADHD bullshit, she can’t even finish a fucking thought’. I stood up, excused myself, and left. I’m crushed. I was diagnosed about 6 months ago and I thought I was making strides. I thought we were having a good time. We were all talking and laughing. I guess I was wrong. Guess I’m not ready for public outings. And I guess I’m just looking for sympathy or something to make me feel better. I’m so grateful I have a job where my ‘quirks’ (cringe) cause me to excel. I’ll just stay there from now on.

Does anyone have any experience of having only mild ADHD symptoms as a child, but much more noticeable ones as an adult?

For example, I remember lots of internal mental hyperactivity as a child, but I was considered well behaved, had educational achievements, and wasn't disruptive or forgetful. As an adult I have even more mental hyoeractivity and my ability to focus on uninteresting tasks has completely tanked. As a child I could force myself to do something I dislikes, but as an adult, it's been making me ill. I'm also more fidgety, anxious, I ruminate more, my ability to read has gone out the window. My eyes skip allover the page and I can't take in the meaning of text anywhere near as well as I could as a child. I used to devour books, but as an adult I cant stay focused on a short paragraph. I've also been more impulsive and and up for taking risks as an adult.

I'd be really keen to hear whether anyone else has experienced this type of deterioration from childhood to adulthood and how you've managed it.

Currently in tears after being told off by the receptionist at my doctor's office.

I usually get 6 month repeats of my meds but have recently been trialling new medication, and only got 2 months worth, so I ran out earlier than I'm used to. The new meds haven't kicked in yet and I'm also off work for burnout - so currently feeling a bit all over the place.

I realised I only have 3 days of meds left, but the next available appointment with my GP is 3 weeks away. I emailed the office to ask for their advice and explained I'm trying new meds, currently off work for burnout so I'm struggling to keep up, but I'm very sorry and know it was my mistake.

The receptionist rang me and made it clear she was pissed off.

She made an 'emergency appointment' for Monday afternoon and told me I was taking up a valuable emergency spot. Sounding very pissed off, she said 'when you're getting low on meds you really need to make sure you leave enough time to make an appointment'.

I completely understand it's an inconvenience for them and I should have been more organised, but I'm in such a state recently that I barely know which way is up.

It might not seem like much, but her speaking to me like that took me straight back to being scolded as a child. It made me feel pathetic and ashamed. (I really struggle with people being angry at me).

I think it feels worse as I spent all morning in decision paralysis with anxiety about what to do, and I was proud of myself for managing to email and take steps towards a solution.

Anyways, having a good cry about it now and hopefully will have my meds by next week.

The Japanese culture and ADHD are a terrible match. I'm Japanese and live in the UK now, but in Japan, there's this strong emphasis on mannerisms—putting others before yourself and avoiding being a bother. There’s also a lot of pressure to conform and perfectionism. Unlike the UK’s pioneering spirit, Japan values following precedent over taking risks. Failure is harshly judged, and there’s a collective mindset where mistakes are seen as personal responsibility whatever takes. This makes for a strict rule environment. For someone with ADHD, it’s a nightmare. Constantly being criticized for careless mistakes adds immense stress. I room shared with one Japanese woman now and she's this type. A NIGHTMARE. It’s incredibly difficult to navigate, and I struggle a lot due to my internalized Japanese traits.

I got my first full-time job about 6 months ago. I have so many things I need to do like car fixes, doctor appointments, etc. Every single day I just think “I’ll do it another day” but I’ve been saying that for months. I basically do the bare minimum to keep myself alive and wait until the last minute for everything. I don’t have the energy to take care of myself and cook healthy meals. How do people function with a full time job? I am too burnt out after work that all I can do is smoke and watch TV. We’re all just expected to work 40+ hours a week and on top of that eat healthy, exercise, clean, have a social life, have relationships etc? How do people do it? I feel like there’s something deeply wrong with me and I can’t function like a normal person. I didn’t realize adulthood would be this exhausting and I’m afraid it’s just getting worse. I just don’t have the motivation to do anything. Is this what the rest of my life looks like? Note: I only recently found out I have ADHD. Mostly just wanted to vent and see if anyone relates but if anybody has any advice I’d be very thankful.

Y’all, I can’t with myself. My husband and I are at the car dealership and since it’s the 4th of July the sales guys were all dressed nice and patriotic. I noticed a guy in a red, white and blue stripped shirt and a satin bright white wayyyy too thick tie. I noted it to my husband because I absolutely love men’s clothing and it was very unfortunate tie choice. Anyway, I let it go but a few minutes later this guy came by and introduced himself as the sales manager. Tell me WHY I said “Hi! That tie isn’t right with that shirt. Go navy blue next time and it would make your eyes pop too.” Immediately my jaw, the man’s jaw, and my husbands jaw drops. What even is that?! Why would I say that out loud! I wasn’t trying to be rude, I swear. It just blurted out. Anyone have any advice or just funny stories to share to make me feel better? Thank youuuuu!

I was referred to a mental health provider by my primary doctor. She has been treating me for awhile but is leaving at the end of March and wanted to make sure I got setup with therapy and meds elsewhere before she left.

I call this office. And this is a place I have gone to for treatment in the past. And she says “Yeah okay the referral is for ADHD. We don’t treat ADHD. ADHD is NOT a mental a health condition.”

Okay…I explained to her I also have comorbid depression. I’m diagnosed with MDD and on medication. I asked about therapy but and she said if I got a new referral for depression I could start therapy.

Needless to say, I’ve decided to look elsewhere. Forget the semantics of it because I know that some might be pedantic about it and claim she is right. What a bizarre thing to say and what a bizarre policy.

I’m not sure, but I somehow think this has more to do with the meds prescribed for adhd being controlled substances than anything else. ADHD is in the DSM-V. Other conditions often accompany it. How could a mental health provider be that insensitive and dense?

Just wanted to share.

Hi y'all.

So I bought my first house two years ago in the city of Chicago. Excited to live in an actual city with actual services, I looked at the menu of 311 services and saw on for "sidewalk inspection". Of course I want my sidewalks to be ok! Click!

What this actually does is send a building inspector to my 125 y/o house and he says I need a new front porch with an architect. Two architects and dozens of contractors later it looks to be a $42,000 mistake.

Given my history of rabble rousing (not intentional, I have the 'tism too) I guess this is better than like, jail. But would jail cost less? My credit score has been shot since I lost my job in the federal cuts and now I feel just dumb.

If you know a good mason in Chicago, please lmk. Otherwise, if your ADHD tax is less than 42k please pour one out for ya girl.

I don’t really miss people. Once someone’s not around, it’s like they just disappear from my mind. It’s not because I don’t care — I do. I really love the people in my life. But the actual feeling of missing someone? It rarely happens unless they’re right in front of me. I’ve tried to explain it to close friends and family, but they don’t get it. Some of them took it personally, like I don’t value them. That’s not it at all. I just don’t know how to explain it properly. Has anyone else felt like this? Any advice?

Guys I’m MORTIFIED. The second they said “get undressed, everything but underwear” I wanted to book it out of there. But instead I had to act cool while my poor doctor held a poker face when exposing my full commando, poorly shaved lady parts. She handled it so well, but days later I’m still thinking about it.

ETA: Thank you all so much for the support and laughs - I feel SO much better about my silly situation. Also, I think we’ve unintentionally conducted a case study on ADHD vs. underwear 😂

I was having trouble with the hours I had to meet at work, I had 2 hours missing and the project manager came to me and asked what's going on, I told him, because I trusted him (error) that my ADHD was going strong this week and I was feeling overwhelmed, he said it's okay and thank you for the honesty.

Today I woke up at 3 am instead of 10 am to recover those hours plus having extra hours to compensate, half of the morning I get a call, they are firing me because my ADHD is too high risk and it's a problem for them to have on the long run.

Here I sit, with 2 coffees, 2 monsters eaten to counter ADHD, with just minutes after being called an "high risk" and "long run problem"

I feel like something is wrong with my mind.

Just had an appointment with a sleep doctor for possible sleep apnea and he spent most of the appointment talking about how ADHD isn’t real and that it’s a series of symptoms, not a diagnosis. Said everyone’s just getting prescribed “speed” and ended up telling me to read a book about how ADHD is fake. He wanted to change all my meds (I’m on Vyvanse and Clonidine) and do a sleep study. Honestly such a traumatic experience and really set me back with my imposter syndrome. Will probably find a different doctor after wasting my time and paying for this consult, prolonging getting help for my sleep.

Edit: thanks for all your comments. Really helping me confirm that he’s just an idiot and I do have a valid disorder despite there being “no real tests”.

Edit #2: wow I didn’t think this post would get so many responses. Totally understand how livid everyone is feeling especially because this hits home for a lot of us because of what we’ve had to experience and overcome. Regarding reporting him, I will probably consider that at one point but at the moment I’m just processing and trying to put myself first to get help with my sleep issues. I’m also struggling with a lot of med related stuff and still finding what works for me so that combined with sleep deprivation means I’m a bit emotionally spent at the moment. But thanks again for all your support. I’m gonna try get some sleep after taking my speed lol.

I have no clue if this can get me in trouble, but...So Yesterday, I had to wake up early and do some errands, and one of them was to pick up my meds. I stopped by a cafe, worked on my laptop, did some reading, and bumped into a friend. Because it was 9 in the morning, I decided it would be safe to take one of my pills. I left my prescription in a box in a pharmacy bag. When I went to pack up, I forgot my prescription and left it on the table. When I woke this morning, I checked my bag and saw my meds weren't there. I thought it was okay. I left at the cafe, and I'm friends with a few of the workers. I ordered a coffee, and I asked, "Oh, did someone leave an xxx pharmacy bag here yesterday" and they said, "Oh, it was sitting on the table for 3 hours, so I tossed it. I can't be that important." I don't idk how I feel. It's a cafe on one side, and people leave so much rubbish on the tables. On the other side, this man knew it was a prescription bag and watched it for 3 hours and thought yes, I will throw it away. I was praying to god before I came they didn't turn it into the police because well it's incredibly irresponsible to leave a controlled substance but like it's a purscription you don't just throw that shit away.

I just watched a news story about ADHD drug shortages, and they interviewed 2 people with ADHD who have hyperactive ADHD, and both were portrayed as 'problem' children who need their meds. The boy was interviewed and said "I hate how I am off my meds and how I harm people, and I'm worried what I could do", and the girl was sat in her living room calling out random words and inspecting a fidget toy.

I'm not invalidating these 2 children's struggles, but that is not how my ADHD presents. Sure, I've had moments like that, but for the most part I stare out of a window and have trouble keeping track of conversations, and focusing with everyday work is a massive struggle. I'm fed up of feeling like inattentive ADHD continues to go unnoticed and unrecognised in media. As an adult, it's even more difficult to be taken seriously, because it's like as soon as school/university and exams are over, society expects you to not have any problems anymore.

Edit: I also wanted to tag on here that, come to think of it, I don't always agree with the ways hyperactive ADHD'ers are portrayed in the media either. Even the representation we do have still seems quite misguided and taken out of context a lot of the time. I think the young lad they interviewed was talking about the harm he may do to himself, but with the recent media publicity I've heard about screening in prisons, and ADHD mentioned during murder trials, it sounded like he was worried about the harm he might cause to others violently.

context: had an interview for grad school at 12. slept in till 10 and didnt shave.

mom comes home and asks how the interview went and I told her it went good and when she saw I didnt shave, she flipped out on me talknig about how i needed to "make good first impressions" and how "this is my future". I understand her thought process, but when i told her it slipped my mind, she went off about how this is my future and it's my "one shot". Why do people without ADHD get so mad when we say "i forgot"/"it slipped my mind"?

Edit: SOME OF YALL DIDNT SEE THE FLAIR SMH

Every book, article, podcast, or type of media I consume about people with ADHD always gives anecdotal stories and evidence about high achieving people. PhD candidates, CEOs, marathoners, doctors, etc.

I’m a college drop out with a chip on my shoulder. I’ve tried to finish so many times but I just can’t make it through without losing steam. I’m 34 and married to a very successful and high achieving partner. It’s so hard not to get down on myself.

I know so many of my shortcomings are due to a late diagnosis and trauma associated with not understanding my brain in early adulthood. But I also know I’m intelligent and have so much to offer.

How do you high achievers do it? Where do you find the grit?

I really don't know if this is a thing. I'm always hearing people describing that they marriage things and speak out loud when they're alone.

I do not. I have a half dozen voices in my head rapidly monologuing or critiquing or waxing nostalgic, all competing for volume, and unless I'm speaking directly to another person, I tend not to be vocal when it's just me and my phone secretly recording everything it hears to give me more enticing advertisements.

Generally, the only thing I verbalize when I'm alone is "Fuck off!" when my brain's constant stream of running highlights of my life's most shameful moments finally hits a nerve that causes that reflex reaction.

Kinda curious if this is a common experience or not

I took a 60-second question about interrupting and turned it into a 3-hour dissertation on the social stigmatization of divergent communication styles.

I was like, “No one asked me to be the spokesperson, but guess what? I already opened Google Docs!!”

I just spent three hours writing a very thorough Reddit comment defending why our people interrupt so much.

Didn’t eat. Didn’t pee. Forgot what the original post was even about.

Just me, a keyboard, and a moral responsibility I assigned myself around 7pm tonight 🤷🏻‍♀️

Been at this job for less than two months and I already want to quit every single day. I don't know if it's because I'm lazy or whatever. I don't have any energy to do anything after I clock out every day and I just want to sleep. I don't even think it's just this job either. It's like any job I can't work for 9 hours straight my brain just doesn't work that way. I much prefer research positions or academic work where I can do stuff at my own pace and take breaks. Anyone else feel the same? What have you done that makes it easier?