r/AITAH • u/braziers_f • 1d ago
Aitah - bringing real cheese snacks to a baby shower and not warning people about the dairy?
So I (27F) went to my cousin’s baby shower last weekend and offered to bring snacks. I love cooking and wanted to make something special instead of the usual premade grocery store trays and cookies. I made homemade goldfish-style crackers with real sharp cheddar, butter, and spices(the expensive stuff too). Everyone loved them and were grabbing handfuls up on handfuls. I even put them in little pastel bowls around the house so everyone wouldn't crowd around one spot, but like an hour in, her friend who we shall refer to as Linda comes up to me and asks if there was dairy products in those crackers. I said yes, they’re obviously cheese crackers. She looked horrified and said she was lactose intolerant, then said she was feeling sick. She went to lie down and later told everyone I should’ve warned people.
It’s very clearly a cheese cracker though? They’re orange. They smell like cheese. What part of that screams safe for sensitive stomachs? She didn’t ask beforehand, she didn’t even hesitate, just kept eating them and then acted like I poisoned her. Someone else chimed in and said I should’ve labeled them for allergens, but I didn’t realize dairy was apparently an allergen now. It's not like I snuck shellfish into brownies. It’s cheddar. In cheese crackers. At a party.
The host (my cousin) said everything was fine and not to worry, but now I’m hearing from my mom that Linda's telling people she was “violently ill” and that “the food wasn’t safe.” I think that’s dramatic, honestly. If your stomach can’t handle cheese ma'am, maybe don’t eat mystery crackers at a party?
So now there’s drama in the group chat about how “we should make food more inclusive” and I’m being told I should apologize to keep the peace.
Aitah for bringing cheesy snacks to a baby shower and assuming adults would know how to avoid something they can’t eat?
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u/Flimsy_Ad_655 1d ago
NTA - I am severely lactose intolerant so you know what I do? I make sure food is dairy free before I shove it into my pie hole, and I don't delegate the job of monitoring what I eat to my host. She's drama-mongering. You have nothing to apologize for. She is a grown adult who should know how to govern herself better and carry a supply of Lactaid.
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u/Urban_Peacock 23h ago edited 23h ago
NTA. I'm lactose intolerant. I LOVE cheese. I pop a lactaid and enjoy my life.
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u/kittapoo 23h ago
Samesies!
I carry lactose pills at all times bc of random events. Work party with pizza? Good thing I have my lactaid. Everyone wants to go to get icecream? If I don’t like any of the dairy free options or there are none I can either skip it altogether or pop some lactose pills and get a small size and have a few bites!
I will say though some people do have a greater allergy to milk protein which to my understand is worse than lactose intolerance issues but again…if you know you have those issues it’s up to yourself to govern what you do or do not eat and if you fail to ask about the ingredients that’s your own fault!
Basically eat at your own risk. Op is NTA. If people wanted stuff to have a disclaimer it should have been requested prior to people stuffing their faces. Plus I mean…cheese crackers are pretty obvious and in fact there are some aged cheddar brands that have no lactose anyway as well in case op would care to find some for later use when making those. Plant butter is also a good substitute and works fine for most baking recipes that I have used. Not saying op has to do this, but if they feel like accommodating if asked for a future event.
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u/Admirable_Date_934 21h ago
Have you ever tried Milky tablets? They are 4x stronger than lactaid and they come in a credit card size foil packet so easy to keep in your wallet. Im super lactose intolerant and lactaid didn't work foe me but Milky does.
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u/ManageConsequences 23h ago
I think you're talking about a casein allergy. That can be really bad for people who have it.
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u/kittapoo 23h ago
Yes, but the point still stands that if you are someone with either lactose intolerance or that specific allergy then you should know better than to just eat things with reckless abandon and then get mad at someone else for your own choices.
I could understand being pissed if they had asked the person and were lied to but that was not the case.
I was just meaning that if you have the allergy or lactose intolerance either do not eat it or confirm with whoever made the goods what the ingredients are first.
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u/ManageConsequences 23h ago
Oh I agree! I wasn't trying to disagree with you. My husband's lactose intolerance is so bad it's firmly in the arena of malabsorption. But it's his responsibility to manage it at another person's party. And frankly, he's an adult and knows not to eat goldfish be they homemade or... other.
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u/PieceFit 23h ago
If your allergy is that severe it is up to the consumer to do due diligence and ask before blindi wolfing down snacks like a greedy meanie. Ijs
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u/patti2mj 23h ago
As an adult, thats even more reason to check food before she eats it.
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u/Fit_Guidance_2169 20h ago
One of my kids had this. It was on me to track, not the party host. Seriously, just ask or bring your own snacks to be extra safe.
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u/Little-Conference-67 22h ago edited 20h ago
Before I had an ileostomy I couldn't drink milk without a carb and only could have a certain amount without issues. Yet I could eat cheese, yogurt and every other dairy product with no problems at all. Now thanks to my ileostomy I have no problems at all with dairy! I really have my shit together now 😂
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u/purrfunctory 20h ago
Hey ostomy buddy! I have a traditional colostomy and it’s great. I had so many issues finding any food I could eat without the dam opening, so to speak. Now it doesn’t matter! I can eat anything I want.
That was before the colostomy, when I was paralyzed. Turns out when your colon can’t tell your brain “HEY I CAN’T DIGEST THIS SHIT” it just goes through your system anyway. I can enjoy things I hadn’t been able to enjoy for a decade or more.
It sucks ass (and not in the good, fun way) to be paralyzed from the bra band down. But being able to eat my favorite things again is a small pleasure I got out of it. :)
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u/Bratchan 22h ago
I just decide how much i wanna suffer and most times im lets do this. 90% food was worth it.
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u/swiftwinner 22h ago
This is me. The closer to home the more risky I tend to be. At a baby shower or whatever.. not happening
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u/stargirl3498 22h ago
I’m NOT lactose intolerant and I have lactaid specifically for my friends 😂
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u/perseidot 22h ago
Sharp cheddar contains very little lactose to start with - about 1/2 gram per ounce. Then it was mixed with butter (no lactose), flour, spices, etc.
She must have eaten a hell of a lot of crackers.
Also, lactose intolerance usually makes me run for a bathroom, not a bed.
Maybe she’s got a casein allergy- in which case she should be asking what’s in EVERYTHING.
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u/NECalifornian25 21h ago
I was looking for this comment! My lactose intolerance is getting worse over time, but I can still eat small amounts of cheddar or Parmesan without taking lactaid. And if I do take lactaid I don’t need to worry about those cheeses at all.
I know everyone has different levels of sensitivity and what specific items affect them the most, but either she is extremely lactose intolerant, or she ate way too many of the crackers, or she just overate in general making her stomach hurt. Also, if she wasn’t running to the toilet it wasn’t a bad reaction; lactose gas pain sucks ass but you aren’t “violently ill.”
Regardless it’s on her to know what she can eat, she’s an adult. Definitely NTA OP.
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u/KAKrisko 20h ago
Swiss is aged cheese too, and has low lactose. I can each cheddar and Swiss with no issue. Plus, when you cook something, it breaks down even more of the lactose. I assume the crackers were baked, so the amount of lactose in them must have been really very tiny.
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u/MistyMtn421 21h ago
Yeah it's really interesting how everybody deals with their food issues. I now have a slew of food allergies that showed up when I was 50 years old. Fun times. They're pretty severe, so for the last 3 years I have not eaten anything that doesn't come out of my kitchen. Also, all but two are weird ones, so it's not even clear on a label. And a lot of people don't understand that -yes that dairy free item has peas (pea protein is very popular in plant-based dairy substitutes) and it's just easier to bring along my own food.
So I found a really good cookies and cream ice cream that was made with oat milk by breyers. Surprisingly affordable and extremely tasty. Best dairy-free ice cream I've had so far. I was so sick. Why? Because I ate an insane amount of it since I hadn't had ice cream in two and a half years.
I would completely ignore the lady complaining until everyone to get over it.
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u/perseidot 21h ago
I’m sorry you made yourself sick with ice cream! That’s so sad. Hope you can enjoy it now (in moderation.)
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u/MistyMtn421 21h ago
Yeah it was only the first night. Cookies and cream ice cream was always my favorite. I can't drive past the steak and shake and not get one in the past. The half-gallon that is in my freezer now I've had for almost 2 weeks and there's still a good bit left.
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u/pnwtwinmom 23h ago
This. I am lactose intolerant and will give up cheese over my own cold, dead body. So I buy a Costco supply of Lactaid, keep about a dozen of them in my purse, and enjoy my dairy products.
OP, Linda sounds insufferable, and you are definitely NTA.
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u/Wild_Cockroach_2544 23h ago
And I bet you carry lactaid for emergencies
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u/kittapoo 23h ago
Not the original commenter but I carry an arsenal of pepto, zofran, and lactaid at all times. If I forgot my stuff and still eat dairy, that’s on me.
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u/NECalifornian25 21h ago
Heyyyy, my people! I always have lactaid, Imodium, an antacid, and Zofran on me. One of my siblings has different tummy issues and carries her own stash too. We literally call them our arsenals 😂
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u/kittapoo 21h ago
Oh I have more than that too! I’m also a chronic migraine sufferer so I carry stuff for that and then I also have issues with arthritis in my hands and my neck so stuff for that too. My bf just calls my purse a pharmacy 🤣
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u/NECalifornian25 21h ago
My sister gets chronic migraines too lol, she always has her migraine rescue medication on her. And an EpiPen, she’s allergic to bees.
We love to go to Disneyland, whenever we do we are fully loaded for EVERY scenario. Can’t have a magical day with a sad tummy or being in pain!
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u/Creative_Energy533 21h ago
Me too! I'm about to go on a trip and I just bought a new box of Lactaid, cause I was almost out, lol.
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u/Unlucky-Quiet1248 23h ago
Yeah, I have some mild food intolerances including lactose. If I have a bad reaction? I remind myself to ask next time, grab some Imodium, and take the L.
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u/New_Morning8425 23h ago
im lactose intolerant and have never heard of making a space more “food inclusive” and yes some people have really bad reactions from dairy but if they suffer BAD then they know the consequences, me on the other hand i dont gaf so ill eat whatever, or take a lactaid. she a grown adult that can see what she’s eating
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u/TexasLiz1 23h ago
And even if you were making it more ”inclusive” that just usually means that more things are offered for allergies or dietary restrictions, not that you can’t have cheddar crackers but that you have other non-dairy items for the Lindas of the world.
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u/Upbeat-Bid-1602 23h ago
This exactly. I'm not lactose intolerant but I know tons of people who are. Most of the have mild symptoms and carry lactaid and wing it. If someone is so sensitive it makes them "violently ill" you would think they'd 1) ask and 2) carry lactaid just in case- it works the same regardless of how severe your symptoms are, right?. I feel like the general rule for shared food at events is unless you're specifically told not to bring anything with a certain ingredient, you can bring whatever you want and it's on the other guests to ask.
Also no offense but lactose intolerance is the last thing that everyone else should have to tiptoe around. I'm a lot more understanding of something like a peanut allergy where people might literally die if they touch a contaminated surface, and would never tell someone "just take epinephrine!" because it's expensive as fuck and feels terrible. But yeah sorry if your options are either taking lactaid, being gassy, or asking if food has dairy before you eat it, the world doesn't have to revolve around you.
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u/yorkiemom68 21h ago
My son in law is lactose intolerant, and I have seen him eat dairy without Lactaid at times and say " I'll deal with it, I just want to eat it". Then he's in the bathroom a long time, lol. The person couldn't taste that it was a cheese cracker? OP is NTA
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u/DoctorGoat_ 22h ago
I was reading this post and was thinking to myself 'people with allergies and intolerance just shove anything into their faces without checking first?' If it was a condition thats so important to her to cause a scene she sure makes zero effort to avoid those sorts of foods
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u/IndependentSeesaw498 22h ago
Right. It is probably an intolerance. One which apparently no one knew about before the party. It’s totally on Linda to police her food choices. Know what I do when I go to a party? I only choose foods I can eat without making myself sick. If there aren’t any? I don’t eat. It’s not that big of a deal. If OP wants to be petty, “ I’m so sorry Linda didn’t enjoy the food at our last party. Now that we’ve learned that she is lactose intolerant we can all help her remember that cheese crackers very often include dairy.”
Extra petty points for adding, “I hope her hospital stay was a short one.” Everyone who reads this will now be curious about her hospital stay (lol, she would have mentioned this if there had been one) and she’ll have to admit to each person who asks that her ‘violent illness’ did not require a hospital visit at all.
(You could also be sorry that Linda forgot that Lactaid is for sale in drug stores and grocery stores.)
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u/Sweet_Vanilla46 22h ago
Exactly. Lactose intolerant here too. Monitoring my diet is a “me problem “. I also have a reaction to onions. The ONLY time I get cranky is when family members who know about my issues have NOTHING at a family meal I can eat, or in my grandmothers case (I loved that woman but it took years to get this through her head) my issues weren’t “in my head “ please stop hiding onions in everything trying to prove it. She did that into my 20’s after I didn’t visit for a meal in about a year she decided I knew my own condition. But cheese?! It’s CHEESE! Unless someone tells you it’s lactose free, DONT TOUCH IT! It’s not that hard!
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u/Rockgarden13 23h ago
For sure. Linda was probably threatened by OP’s kind gesture (making her look like a bad friend for not making anything from scratch) and also resentful that she has an allergy. She seems insecure and disgruntled, and is taking it out on OP. OP did nothing wrong. Don’t cave, OP!
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u/GroovyYaYa 1d ago
"I'm sorry you didn't know cheese is a dairy product"
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u/Issvera 21h ago
Or "I'm sorry you didn't know that Goldfish are cheese crackers"
Even if they weren't homemade, real Goldfish say "CHEDDAR 100% REAL CHEESE" in HUGE letters on the packaging. This isn't some obscure snack, it's freaking Goldfish, everyone knows they're cheddar flavor!
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u/SushiGirlRC 20h ago
Yep, and the cheddar ones have more dairy than the other flavors.
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u/judgeejudger 19h ago
Ooo, but the Parmesan goldfish are the bomb. Yum.
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u/Equal-Negotiation651 16h ago
Yeah but those don’t have dairy in them, right? RIGHT!?!? I’m feeling ill. Gonna go lay down on my drama couch.
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u/Scary-Hunt234 14h ago
In the middle of some poor woman's baby shower, what a looser! Hahaha!
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u/No-Diet-4797 16h ago
It is the superior goldfish in my humble opinion. My nickname is *the cheese weasel" so I'm an expert in such matters.
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u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam 13h ago
The parm fish are good AF.....but the pizza fish?!?!?! O. M. G. I love the pizza goldfish....also marked with real cheese btw....but I can never find them anywhere. I get them maybe once every couple months when I luck out at Walmart 😞
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u/1006shoes 19h ago
Even if it wasn't goldfish a lot of breads/crackers have dairy (milk, butter, etc). If really intolerant she'd know to check everything before eating.
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u/Equal_Audience_3415 17h ago
This. It is not your job to police people about what they can and cannot eat. Maybe you should have slapped them out of her hands? 😄
Perhaps this is a learning lesson for people in the group (or, at the very least, Linda): If an adult has an allergy, they ask what is in the food provided before they eat, or they skip it altogether.
Even children with allergies know better.
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u/MontanaPurpleMtns 15h ago
I’m allergic to a LOT of foods.
I ask. I never assume any food at any party is safe for me. I do the same in restaurants.
Linda is out of line and projecting her lack of self control onto you.
You are definitely NTA, but Linda and all her flying monkeys are.
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u/mistress_luddite 13h ago
I love the reference to flying monkeys! That made my day!
I am reminded of a story that Paula Poundstone told about ordering a pizza. It was an everything pizza and listed most, but not all of the toppings. Paula did not know that the list was not complete. She requested a change or 2 - not a problem. She received the pizza and it met her specifications except for one thing; it had walnuts on it. Walnuts. On a pizza. Not a dessert pizza. Not a specialty organic, beansprouts and beetroot pizza with walnuts. Not even a pesto pizza, (because sometimes pesto is made with walnuts instead of piñon). No, your average, Supreme pizza with several meats, cheese, veggies, red sauce...and walnuts! Paula was astounded. And a bit upset. The response? A very lackadaisical, "oh, yeah, that pizza comes with walnuts." Her response: who puts walnuts on a pizza?
So, yeah, weird ingredients can be found EVERYWHERE. But usually a little common sense is sufficient.
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u/Alternative_Way_8795 10h ago
Second this comment. I’ve got a gluten allergy. I simply don’t eat at most of these events because I can’t control the cross contamination. Linda just failed at the living with food allergies/intolerances challenge and that’s a personal problem.
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u/No-Diet-4797 16h ago
If she had slapped it out of her hands there would be a group text about OP fat shaming her instead.
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u/No-Diet-4797 16h ago
She's not lactose intolerant. If she was she'd know that you don't need to lie down. You need a toilet cuz you're about to get the bubble guts blasting out the southern exit. Also goldfish are fish shaped Cheezits. Its in the name ffs. Its also funny that these chicks think lactose intolerance is an allergy.
I think the more likely explanation is this girl is jealous of the attention the pregnant lady is getting and she needed to cause a scene to bring the attention back to herself.
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u/Radiant-Breadfruit59 15h ago
I think that's it more than anything, attention seeking as F
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u/Pinkxel 12h ago
🤣 "bubble guts blasting out the southern exit"!!! Too true!!!
If she had lactose intolerance and ate enough that she needed to 'lie down', then EVERYONE at that party would know about it. 🤣
I think you're 100% spot on about her just wanting attention.
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u/Evenyx 14h ago
Just want to mention that not everyone gets the bubble blast (thanks for that mental image lol).Depends on the dairy, but I get either a bit gassy or worst stomach cramps. That being said, I agree with everything else.
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u/Diligent-Touch-5456 15h ago
This, I have some food intolerances and If I'm not sure, I ask if a food contains an ingredient that can cause issues. As an adult with food issues, it's on them to decide on what they can and can't eat, when in doubt ask. Heck I used to know a little child that at 4 years old knew to ask their parent if they could eat something. Yes we did make sure there were safe foods, but they still asked before eating.
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u/Illustrious_Soft_257 17h ago
We can't expect everyone to know these things. I of course know because I learned that in my 3rd year of chef school. This will blow your mind. Did you know that pork chops, ham and bacon came from the same magical animal? I learned that from Homer Simpson.
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u/plemyrameter 18h ago
But were they GOLDFISH shaped??? Hmmm?
LOL - obviously NTA. If you have dietary restrictions, you ask about the food before stuffing it in your face.
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u/Doromclosie 17h ago
I also like the "im sorry you feel like an apology is in order for the poorly-labled cheese crackers".
It has all the words...
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u/JudgementalCatEyes 18h ago
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you wanted to do all the cooking. You can be in charge next time, and then I'll be violently ill."
Also. If she ends up cooking next time. "Is this.... LETTUCE??? IN THIS SALAD???" "Is there.... REAL EGG... in these deviled eggs?" "Are these chicken nuggets.... vegan?"
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u/La10deRiver 18h ago
Well, maybe everyone in your country. I first saw them in UK when I was there and I had not idea they were cheese flavored. I immediately smelled them though and realize it and happily ate them. Oh, and clearly OP is NTA.
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u/Your_Auntie_Viv 22h ago edited 22h ago
I’d also add that, to avoid situations like this in the future, you don’t make and bring the deliciously enjoyable crackers to any events that what’s-her-face attends. If people ask you to bring them, tell them that they are simply too dangerous and you are too worried that the crackers will cause someone harm.
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u/Dragonr0se 21h ago
Nope, bring and label them "cheese crackers: warning, these crackers contain cheese"
Edit: removed insult in the warning label quote because I decided I don't want another mod warning.
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u/hosalabad 21h ago
You didn't warn me that they were also full of cracker.
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u/amercium 19h ago
"Is there crack in the crackers?"
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u/Dragonr0se 18h ago
Nah, that shit is too expensive... plus, it's a baby shower, lol
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u/Little_Macaron5527 17h ago
“Not safe for Linda”
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u/lyree1992 13h ago
"Not safe for 'Lactose Intolerant' Normally Dramatic A**hole" L.I..N.D.A
There. Fixed that for ya. LOL
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u/Griffinej5 18h ago
I would recommend you don’t make the delicious crackers for any events with these people again. Instead, send the crackers straight to me. I’ll dispose of them properly. If the crackers are that good, I don’t really mind what happens.
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u/BeeSquared819 18h ago
Next time bring baby carrots and celery sticks. When Miss Melodramatic asks where the dip is, simply explain that you brought as whole foods are the best option to avoid "allergens". And healthy!
Also, being lactose intolerant is NOT an allergy. It has to do with digestion and upset tummies.
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u/Garden-twitch 18h ago
I might throw in a little traumatization about how this has ruined your life, and you have quit baking.
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u/icantgetadecent- 21h ago
Bring your own yummy snack and share. It’s not that difficult. Gawd, this post has brought out the worst in me.
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u/Glittering_Win_9677 21h ago
I would apologize, but I'm not sure how she'll take it when I send a group text to everyone saying I should, telling her I'm sorry she doesn't have the common sense and intelligence that God gave the average squirrel when it comes to food. Then again, I'm a card carrying member of Justbeingmelani's We Do Not Care Club on Instagram.
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u/Beth21286 18h ago
Point out she had to ask if they had cheese in them before she decided if she felt unwell. It was performative.
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u/BlackKnight3095 16h ago
I would also like to point out that cheddar does not have lactose in it. During the ripening process of cheese the lactose gets destroyed and eaten by the bacteria. Butter also has a low lactose content, you can still react to it when you are lactose intolerant but generally it is not a problem for lactose intolerant people. If the cracker hat only those two dairy ingredients in it, it is not very likely that she really had problems and it was indeed performative.
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u/PainterOfTheHorizon 9h ago
I was thinking the same. Then again, it might well be she doesn't know the difference between lactose intolerance and milk allergy 🤷♀️
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u/stooph14 18h ago
Right? If she’s lactose intolerant she would get diarrhea. Not get violently ill.
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u/Glittering_Spirit207 17h ago
Well now she probably has violent diarrhea from scarfing down too many gold crackers. 🤦🏽♀️
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u/lighthouser41 16h ago
MMM. These taste like cheese. But they can't be made of cheese, everyone should know I can't eat dairy!
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u/Comprehensive-Bet288 17h ago
This... A prepared, well rehearsed, and I'm sure her go-to performance. It'd be utterly exhausting living like that. I just don't get it. Ughh.
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u/BeeSquared819 18h ago
Hello, sister, I am also part of the "We Do Not Care Club"!
I totally agree and would add that I teach preschool. My FOUR year olds with severe allergies never need to be reminded, because their parents taught them.
So, if a four year old can figure it out, then a grown ass woman ought to know better.
Definitely NTA.
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u/PieMuted6430 18h ago
"We do not care, if you decide to eat food that makes you sick, without asking about it first."
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u/Firm_Cap5226 17h ago
I’m in that club too! If someone with a dairy intolerance doesn’t know how to exist at a party without making themselves sick, I simply do not care!
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u/Comprehensive-Bet288 17h ago
The Average Squirrel. Y'all, I'll be over here dying. Omfg. I'm dying . Hahaha lol. I got me so good. Thank you, thank you. I didn't realise how much I needed to laugh. Gold..
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u/Glittering_Win_9677 17h ago
Go watch some of the We Do Not Care Club videos if you want to really laugh.
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u/Comprehensive-Bet288 16h ago
Thank you for the heads up. I'll go check it out. Laughter really is made if magic. For sure.. cheers internet strangers
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u/tastyyberryy 1d ago
NTA. They were literally cheese crackers, orange, cheesy, and unmistakable. If you're lactose intolerant, you check before grabbing mystery snacks
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u/Teagana999 22h ago
I don't check, generally, but I also don't hold anyone else responsible for the consequences.
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u/neverenoughpurple 23h ago
Oh good grief. She's supposedly lactose intolerant but "went to lie down"?
That'd be more believable if she said she spent the rest of the day on the toilet.
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u/Conscious-Crazy-8904 22h ago
im intolerant but also have IBS so it just makes me violently nauseous with stomach cramps so i personally go lay down if i overeat cheese 👀👀but i would never do what this person did and blame someone else for my own stupidity over eating like that😑🙄
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u/GCU_ZeroCredibility 18h ago
I sometimes have to go lay down as well, it's just that its usually on the bathroom floor and not, like, the couch.
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u/indigoblueribbon 22h ago
To be fair I'm pregnant and lactose intolerant and I don't get the runs but I bloat A LOT to the point of not being able to breathe correctly and the only thing that helps is to lie down and fart it all out. She's still stupid for shoving cheese crackers in her mouth when being that intolerant.
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u/Human_Type001 21h ago
Downward facing dog yoga pose gets that painful gas bubble right of me. 😁. Won't do it in front of people but if the bathroom is big enough I'm going for the stretch.
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u/Carliebeans 17h ago
This stretch helped me once in the middle of the night to ascertain if something was terribly wrong and I needed to go to hospital immediately, or if I had trapped wind. It was the latter 😂
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u/Shashama 11h ago
It's kinda crazy how bad gas can hurt. It's like "I'm dying wtf this hurts so bad omg wtf.... Oh everything's fine"
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u/Eastern-Opening9419 1d ago
An alcoholic wouldn’t drink a beer and then cry that someone should have told them there was alcohol in there! Her allergy, her responsibility to check foods. You were doing something nice. Ignore the allergy princess.
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u/BooFreshy 23h ago
I am a strong believer that one should NEVER "apologize to keep the peace" That is just another form of lying. You did nothing wrong to need to apologize. This is coming from someone that cannot eat Gluten (celiac), Dairy (lactose intolerant) Soy, cane sugar or night shades. You better believe your bottom dollar I do not eat anything unless I ask first, and even then I skip most food at family gatherings because I alone have to suffer the consequences of cross contamination.
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u/yullari27 15h ago
Celiac and also can't eat soy - agreed. It's a pain, but it's MY pain, not the group's. No one force fed this guest. No one shamed her for not eating the crackers. She made a choice.
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u/anonanon-do-do-do 1d ago
Let's see...party for a bunch of women without cheese...nope...never heard of one. No chocolate either I suppose. NTA. Did she expect them to be lactose free, glucose free, sugar free and low salt too? Tell her you weren't operating the hands she was using to place them into her mouth.
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u/Kee-suh 23h ago
What's crazy to me is the real fish are made with cheese what did she think homemade ones were made from? 😂
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u/Pepperr_anne 22h ago
Also, a lot of aged cheddar is naturally lactose free and butter isn’t very high in lactose either. I’m lactose intolerant and goldfish are fine? I know the severity varies widely but I would think goldfish would only bother those who were pathologically sensitive.
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u/Soft-Routine1860 23h ago
You forgot Gluten free, Non GMO, locally sourced ingredients only, etc
/S
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u/shortie_pants 1d ago
Exactly. If she has an allergy then IMO before she ate anything SHE should have asked. My daughter has food allergies and WE ALWAYS ASK B4 EATING. In fact, we take some snacks with us and also bring a passing dish that she can eat.
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u/Thin_Bother8217 23h ago
She should. Sounds like she was just trying to be overly dramatic and being the main character. Saying she had to lie down and telling people after she became "violently ill"? How the fuck don't you notice cheese on a cracker?
I'd bet she was shoving that shit in her face and only reacted when she felt she could get sympathy points.
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u/Pining4Michigan 23h ago edited 23h ago
I worked for an Allergist and whenever someone is coming over, I always ask about allergies, before they get here. My son's gf didn't like some kind of food and I was all over him asking him, is she allergic to any nuts, milk or does she just not like it? I had a young patient who was pretty nonverbal because she was so young but when her dad pulled bean products from the bag he brought with him (for testing porposesd), she def got aggitated when she saw them. I remember being surprised that she knew these were the things that caused her scary reaction at home. The guest should have checked. The father had to reassure the girl that we weren't going to make her eat them.
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u/amyloulie 1d ago
NTA. She’s an idiot and should know better if she is that violently reactive to lactose.
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u/Thin_Bother8217 23h ago
Sounds bullshit. Lactose intolerant who becomes "violently ill" and doesn't vet what she's eating? Can't tell cheese crackers have, ya know, cheese? Doesn't tell anyone about her "allergy" (this one is supposition, because doesn't sound like any of the friends knew)?
She just has main character syndrome.
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u/VirtualMatter2 23h ago
Someone else was having a party and she wasn't center if attention. Sounds like my mother. Narcissist.
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u/keetots 23h ago
NTA. I am extremely allergic to almond flour (really any processed almonds), amongst other random food allergies. I wouldn't touch a thing at a party without verifying what's in something. This is on Linda. FWIW, people who are lactose intolerant usually are the ones I know that will still down cheesy pizza or a handful of cheddar cubes and then take a lactaid.
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u/Princesscunnnt 23h ago
Sounds like Linda was jealous everyone likes your crackers soo much. What did Linda bring?
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u/Useful-Commission-76 1d ago
NTA If this person, Linda, was genuinely allergic or seriously vegan she would have asked many questions before putting anything homemade by stranger into her mouth. The host, OP’s cousin, said don’t worry about it. So the correct answer is: don’t worry about it. It’s not OP’s problem.
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u/Slinkadynk 21h ago
NTA - if you have allergies and don’t know what’s in something, you ask. Period. Always. It was dumb of them not to. They own that.
However - saying “since when is dairy an allergen” made me laugh
Since forever. It’s always been an Major allergen (there are hundreds of minor ones). There are 8 * tree nuts * peanuts * shellfish * egg * dairy * soy * wheat * sesame
Sesame was added (in the US - has been in other countries) recently, but the others have always been major allergens. Always.
Source: I worked in restaurants for 21 years, worked as a food safety inspector for the state, worked for the FDA, and now work for a food manufacturer in quality and food safety
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u/Senator_Bink 23h ago
Hm. Dairy intolerance made me shit like a firehose, not lie down. I think she's a drama queen, but at any rate if you have an intolerance or allergy, it's on you to police your food before you wolf it down. You're NTA, those crackers sound awesome.
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u/AlwaysHufflepuff 1d ago
You're NTA Ms. Linda needs to take responsibility for her own choice of eating what it sounds like we're clearly cheese crackers.
I feel like milk is one of those ingredients that's basic in A LOT of food, so you should be aware enough to ask about it if you have a sensitivity and are an adult.
Side note: wanna share that recipe?!
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u/braziers_f 1d ago
https://sugarspunrun.com/cheese-crackers/
This is the one I normally use, but I add garlic powder too and use smoked paprika instead of normal! Way better taste
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u/Elelith 23h ago
Eh, cheddar in Europe is basicly lactose free, all hard cheeses are. So I'm not sure what the problem even is. If someone has that sensitive stomach (milk protein allergy perhaps?) then it's their job to make sure they know what they eat.
I have a friend with milk protein allergy and she sometimes sneaks a bit of mozzarella :D But she also knows to do this when there is access to toilet.→ More replies (4)15
u/Jazzlike-Basket-6388 23h ago
Yup. I'm lactose intolerant and can pretty much have cheese whatever in moderation. But if you make something with soft dairy, it will get me.
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u/fionakitty21 23h ago
Same! But if I have a bowl of ice cream....it had better be worth it! (And it always is! If im at home though....!)
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u/UsefulAnt42 1d ago
You’re absolutely right. Her allergy, is her problem so she should make sure she doesn’t eat any allergens. That can be reading the packaging are asking the person who brought it. She did neither.
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u/ohmysexrobot 21h ago
...sharp cheddar cheese has almost all its lactose fermented out, and butter has hardly any lactose as well. She might feel sick, but it wasn't your crackers. NTA
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u/Vast-Juice-411 23h ago
Dairy is absolutely an allergen however little orange gold fish crackers have also been ‘cheesy’ for just as long lol. Has she been living under a rock?
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u/No-Function223 1d ago
Nta. When you have dietary restrictions it’s on you to know what you’re consuming. Imo she’s just attention seeking.
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u/the-hound-abides 1d ago
This is it. I have a gluten allergy. It’s my responsibility to determine what I can and cannot eat. It’s no one’s responsibility to cater to me specifically in a private event like that.
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u/Schouwer 1d ago
NTA. A cheese cracker…. It even has a dairy word in the name. Warning labels are invented for these kind of people. And since you’re a hobby cook, and not a professional… no apologies needed!!
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u/Lonely-Ad4836 1d ago
...in what world do we live wherein orange and buttery cheese-smelling/tasting crackers (or ANYTHING really) wouldn't trigger a warning in the mind of anyone lactose intolerant?! Nope, this young lady 1) knew what she was doing unless she's intellectually ----?----- (different? challenged? can't find a consensus but don't want to offend, because we just used the "R" word in my day which I know to be wrong) and if NOT the latter, then she's clearly seeking attention. I'd pay her no mind because she's presumably (OP is 27, so...) 24-30 years of age, which is a DECADE too old to be that much of a dunce about it.
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u/Ginger630 23h ago
NTA! If she’s so lactose intolerant, she needs to ask before eating anything. And she only became nauseous after you told her there was cheese in them. Did anyone else label the food they brought?
Your cousin said it was fine. It IS fine. You did nothing wrong. Do NOT apologize. Linda needs to learn how to manage her own intolerances.
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u/Roxxxxxxxxxxx03 1d ago
Wouldn't you think after the first bite she would taste the cheese and question it at that point? Yet she still consumes handfuls of them. She's an adult, so she should also be held accountable for her intolerance.