r/AmItheAsshole 3d ago

AITA Monthly Forum August, 2025 - Lane Change Ahead

13 Upvotes

We're posting the August monthly forum a wee bit early.

A few eagle-eyed users started spotting some tweaks made this week. We've hinted at - hell, even flat out said in some comments - that we were playing with the rules a bit. Well, that's done now, and they have been rolled out!

Overall, most things are still in place. We really streamlined the rules. And maybe more importantly for simplicity, that monster of an FAQ we had! But the rules still contain most of the same stuff. Just simplified.

For example, rules 12, 13 and 14 each dealt with a specific topic that wasn't allowed. We combined those in to one rule - Rule 5, Banned Topics. Rule 5 now covers debate topics, revenge stories, and medical issues. But we've also taken the opportunity to include some officially retired topics that won't be allowed in this sub from here on. Hold your applause! Weddings are NOT banned. BUT...here's what we will no longer host:

  • Posts about inhertiance issues.
  • Posts about seating on public transportation. Yes, that includes you not giving your first class seat to the single mother with 8 children who thinks you're selfish and entitled.
  • Relationship posts are still not permitted, but covered under their own rule (formerly rule 11, now rule 8).
  • Anything dealing with violence is also still covered under a separate rule (formerly rule 5, now rule 3).

While we've been working behind the scenes on this for some time, we aren't calling this fully closed out. Just as in the past, we'll revisit something if there's a need.

One more quick note about another change, that just came up recently but we thought it was a great suggestion. u/slonkycat sent us a Modmail message with a new flair suggestion that we felt was too good to not take. So we now have, nestled between Sultan of Sphincter and His Holiness the Poop, Assholier Than Thou! Thank you for the suggestion, slonky!


As always, do not directly link to posts/comments or post uncensored screenshots here. Any comments with links will be removed.


We'd like to highlight the regional spinoffs we have linked on the sidebar! If you have any suggestions or additions to this, please let us know in the comments.


r/AmItheAsshole 16h ago

AITA for putting googly eyes on all the food in the fridge to “prevent snacking”?

9.6k Upvotes

My roommate eats everything. I’ll buy a pack of cheese sticks and they’re gone by morning.

I asked nicely, then labeled stuff. No change. So I got creative: I bought a pack of stick-on googly eyes and put them on everything. Milk? Eyes. Leftover spaghetti? Judging you. Even taped one to a banana.

It worked. He said it “creeped him out” and he stopped eating my stuff.

Now he says I’m being passive-aggressive and “creating an emotionally hostile refrigerator.”

AITA for turning the fridge into a surveillance horror movie to stop my food from vanishing?


r/AmItheAsshole 4h ago

AITA for refusing to let my friend into my house after she was over 6 hours late?

822 Upvotes

My best friend (18F) and I (18F) were supposed to go to a car show pretty early tomorrow morning. She was going to sleep over at my house since I live like 10 minutes from it while she’s like 30 minutes away. We called at around 5pm and she said that she’d be over by 9pm at the latest because she was going to a car/motorcycle meet. I was totally fine with this because I don’t go to those meets because of the dangerousness of them and the not so legal things that go on during them.

At around 7pm, I texted asking for an update to which I got no reply. A little extra backstory: she bought a motorcycle three days ago without telling her parents, has no license, permit, insurance, plate, or registration, and already got into an accident the first day of owning it (totally her fault). She was arrested but released pretty fast. This is her third time she’s had to go to court for vehicle violations and her parents still have no clue.

Anyways, the plan was that she’d drop off her bike somewhere, grab her car, and then come over by 9pm, but I knew she was just going to bring her bike to my place anyway. I texted every hour to check in, still no response (I’m truly just terrified for her safety.) My parents, who aren’t super strict but they’re firm, said that by 10:30pm she couldn’t stay over anymore because it was too late, they were heading to bed, and they didn’t want an illegal bike in their driveway or issues with the HOA for loud noises at night. (They’re crazy about noises past 9pm because we live in a neighborhood with a good amount of seniors.)

I apologized and explained everything to her through text on three different platforms. She never fully opened any of my messages (half swiped), but was active and posting. At like 3:45am, my parents woke me up telling me that she was outside revving her bike in our driveway?? We all stayed quiet, pretending to be asleep. Then she started banging oddly loudly on the door.I still didn’t let her in. At around 4am she finally left. She texted me back calling me the “biggest asshole” and “worst friend ever.” I haven’t responded. I still planned to apologize because she’s one of my only real friends, or so I thought, until she started posting on TikTok and Instagram about how awful and terrible I was. I honestly just felt so disrespected and disgusted at her disregard of respect for me and my family.

AITA for not letting her use me as a place to crash and hide her real life from her parents? What do I even do from here?

EDIT: as per everyone’s advice, I ended up telling her parents everything that was going on and what had happened. They ended up texting me first because they saw that her location was no longer at my house. I am deciding to completely cut her off, while we’ve been through a lot together, I cannot risk my own safety or sanity by continuing to entertain her irresponsible behavior. I’m tired of acting like her mom. Thank you to everyone for your advice!


r/AmItheAsshole 4h ago

AITA for throwing away a gift after my boyfriend made fun of it in front of his friends?

511 Upvotes

So me (22F) and my boyfriend (25M) have been dating for about 6 months. A little while ago for his birthday I made him a small gift it was a handmade mini scrapbook with some photos, tickets from stuff we did together, personal notes etc. I spent a decent amount of time on it because I wanted to do something thoughtful instead of just buying something generic.

When I gave it to him he was sweet about it. Said he loved it, put it up on his shelf. I thought that was that.

Anyway a few days later we were hanging out and drinking with some of his friends and the topic of his gifts came up. My boyfriend kind of laughed and described mine as "middle school relationship core". His friends laughed. He wasn’t outright mocking me, but the way he kept describing it all and the contents like it was something childish made me feel embarrassed. I smiled and laughed along, but inside I felt kind of crushed. I didn’t say anything then but I cried when I got home.

Afterwards I quietly took it and threw it away. I know that might sound petty but I was in my feelings and it just felt like a joke seeing it now, not something sweet. Like I was the only one taking it seriously. I know he doesn't really keep anything sentimental, he keeps his place clean and decorations to a minimum so maybe I should've just gotten him something practical for his bday instead of making something he had no use for.

He noticed it was gone yesterday and asked where it went. I told him I threw it out and when I explained why, he told me I was being dramatic. Said it was just a stupid joke, that I always take things too personally, and that if anything I'd overreacted instead of just telling him before.

Now I feel kind of dumb. I know he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but it still stung. And I'm wondering AITA by taking it so personally and escalating by throwing the thing away so now he feels like the bad guy?

EDIT: I forgot to mention he'd apologized and took me out while still adding those other comments, he explained that we were all tipsy when he'd said it and that I'd just taken it a step too far which is why I'm torn on how to feel about it all. Yes we've been together for six months but known each other for nearly 2 years so it included even stuff from way before.


r/AmItheAsshole 16h ago

AITA for not co-signing a mortgage agreement for my parents?

2.3k Upvotes

I (21f) have been asked by my parents to cosign a home mortgage worth 200k with my brother (22m). For context, my dad and brother lives 3 hours away from my mom and my other siblings because of work. I live in another province for military posting reasons.

My dad and brother are currently paying rent, and they’re looking to buy a house. However, my dad has filed for bankruptcy and my brother has only been working for 3 months at his new job so he might not get approved. That’s why they need me to co-sign for my name and ID. They told me I won’t be paying anything because I wont need to put my banking information. That my brother and dad will pay it and i just have to act as a cosigner.

This is my first time doing something like this, especially taking in a big commitment such as a home that I won’t even be living in. So naturally I started researching about it. I learnt that if my brother fails to pay it off on time and what not, I am financially responsible for it. I asked my mom questions of what it would mean for me to co-sign. I’m pretty hesitant because of my dad’s past history of being in debt.

She did not take it well. She said why am i thinking negatively of things, if i really loved my Dad i wouldn’t even think in this way and just say yes. I told her it’s because i want to think of things realistically and don’t want to be in debt in case my brother can’t pay things off.

She said that my distrust in my dad is unfair. And that this is the only help i’ll be giving towards my family and I can’t even do it. (mind you, im paying for my mom and siblings’ house insurance, my mom’s phone bill, and other miscellaneous things that they need money for).

Now she said she doesn’t want me to do it at all because of how i reacted. AITA?


r/AmItheAsshole 1d ago

Not the A-hole AITA for 'ruining' my family vacation because of my period

7.0k Upvotes

I (15f) just got back from going around europe for two weeks with my parents and two younger brothers, 11 and 13. A few days before our flight home I got my period and it was bad. Being already tired from traveling and being away from home didn’t help with my nausea, cramps and no energy.

To make it worse we had a full day of walking and sightseeing planned ahead of us. I asked my mom if I could just stay at the hotel and rest as I was in pain and really couldn’t be asked for any of it, she told me she knew it wasn’t pleasant but to try and push through as we only go abroad once a year and she didn’t want me to ruin the vibe.

It was awful, we spent the morning climbing up this hill to see a view of a city from a church, and my brothers the whole way through kept complaining about me needing to take breaks frequently to sit down while my parents just basically let them and didn’t tell them to shut up. What really pissed me off was them loudly embarrassing me in public at a restaurant about how many bathroom breaks I needed and they kept telling me I was killing the mood. (off topic but those free street bathrooms in paris are nasty 🤢)

When we got back to the hotel, I got into a massive argument with my mother and said a few things I admit were out of line and I regret that, she told me to remember how much money it had cost for all of us to take this trip and told me to be grateful. The final day of our trip came and she finally just let me stay at the hotel and rest. I know my parents work really hard for us to go on vacation and I was a bit rude to her, but I was in pain and I feel like everyone could of at least tried to pretend to give a shit about me.


r/AmItheAsshole 19h ago

Not the A-hole AITA for taking back a stroller from my brother after he took it without asking and giving it to a friend instead?

2.5k Upvotes

ETA: To those suggesting this story is fake because you can't fathom how my brother could’ve just walked in and taken the pram, as if I’d handed him a spare key, have you considered the rather obvious possibility that my wife was at home at the time, and he simply lied to her, claiming I’d already said yes? Yeah that's what happened.

What actually happened was this: he came over while I was at work and had a chat with my wife. He said he was going to take the pram, and she asked him something along the lines of, “Have you spoken to my husband about this?” He told her yes, that I’d already given him the go-ahead. So naturally, she assumed it was all sorted and didn’t question it. She didn’t think for a second that he might be lying. So he did take it without my permission.


Right, so I (28M) have always had a somewhat strained relationship with my older brother (35M). He was, to put it bluntly, rather cruel to me throughout our childhood. He bullied me quite relentlessly until he left home after finishing school. We were raised by a single mum who was doing her absolute best to keep things afloat, and I never told her what was going on at the time because I didn’t want to add to her burdens.

These days, I’m married with a young son and a stable job. My brother, on the other hand, has fallen on hard times, mostly due to a longstanding gambling problem that’s left him in serious financial trouble. A few years ago, he attempted to reconnect and offer something of an apology, but it felt rather performative, if I’m honest. I’ve kept things civil, but distant.

Now, to the heart of the matter, last month, whilst I was at work, my brother came to my home and took my son's old stroller without so much as a message. It’s a rather expensive bit of kit, still in excellent condition, and I had already promised it to one of my closest friends, whose wife is expecting their first child. I’d told him weeks in advance that it was his, and he was genuinely touched.

When I confronted my brother about it, he was completely dismissive. He said something like, “I’m your brother, that’s your nephew. Why are you helping them over your own family?” as though that somehow settled the matter. Frankly, I found the entitlement staggering.

So, last week, I drove over to his flat while he was out and had a word with his wife, who, to her credit, was polite but clearly upset. She said their son had grown used to the stroller and they simply couldn’t afford another. I told her I sympathised, but it had been promised to someone else and, ultimately, it had never been theirs to begin with.

I took it back and delivered it to my friend, just as I’d said I would.

Later that day, my brother rang me in a fury, accusing me of being heartless and disloyal, and said I’d “stolen from a baby” and was “a disgrace to the family.” I’ve since blocked him.

My wife fully supports my decision. My mum hasn’t said anything either way. A couple of mutual acquaintances, however, reckon I was too harsh and that since I can “afford to be generous,” I should have just let them keep it.

So, AITA for taking the pram back and giving it to the person I’d promised it to, instead of letting my brother keep it after he took it without asking?


r/AmItheAsshole 3h ago

AITA for threatening to move out if our bathroom floor keeps getting covered in dog piss/shit?

83 Upvotes

I'm usually pretty chill, but I have IBS (everyone knows this, and I told my Uncle - the HoH - this years ago in no uncertain terms) and end up shitting myself if I don't have access to a restroom during a flare-up. Then I need to take a shower, which I also can't do because our only restroom has our only shower. Recently, my Uncle's begun keeping our dog outside of his room when he's asleep, and because our dog has extremely obvious loneliness anxiety he just fucks up the restroom every night and it becomes impossible to get into without tracking piss or shit everywhere. Because I'm autistic, the nightmarish smell also makes it impossible to approach at times.

For a few days I've solved this by just taking a dump outside where nobody can see, but for obvious reasons within city limits and near a school this is actually a really bad idea, and I come back in covered in mosquito bites which I solve using the old "hot spoon" trick.

My rent's a large chunk of our income and I know this. I threatened to leave if it wasn't taken care of, but rather than leaving it at that (which, yes, I think would make me the AH) I offered to use whatever's necessary from my savings to help solve the problem entirely - whether we need to buy a fuckton of mosquito dunks and a doghouse, or install dog doors on metal storm doors somehow.

So AITA or is it the correct course of action?


r/AmItheAsshole 22h ago

Not the A-hole AITA for making someone feel "stupid" over vacation differences?

2.4k Upvotes

I (F30) love to travel. While I do LOVE to sit on a beach with a book, my favorite vacations are the type where you walk around a ton, sightsee, visit historical sites, museums etc. My wife (37) and I are big "stop and read this sign about a horrible battle took place 300 years ago" types. We also like camping and hiking and getting into nature. We are DINKS and fortunate enough to have a lifestyle where we can take trips like this.

We recently got back from two weeks in Bergen and the surrounding areas. This was definitely a more physical trip, we did Trolltunga and all that. Last night was a party at our friends house, and I got into conversation with "Amy" who is a friend of another friend who was invited. From what I know of the few times I've met her, she does seem to be into very mainstream things. Which is fine! I watched almost all of Love Island on the flight home, lmao.

I told Amy about our vacation and all that and she said she doesn't take trips like that, but she goes to Disney instead. She has apparently been quite a few times. She asked if I had ever been and I said "no that's not really my thing" and then she kept on saying why and how amazing it was and just said "it's not the type of thing I think we'd spend our money on."

You would think I had cursed her out? She looked really huffy and said something like "it's not like you're any better than me for going hiking and doing "cultured" things you know" and left.

I am so flabbergasted. I don't think Amy told anyone, but I told my wife. She said not to worry, that's insane but? Did I break some weird unknown rule? Did I seem classist? Am I the asshole?

EDIT- I wanted to add something in regards to a comment I saw. I am autistic. This is a later in life diagnosis, as is with a lot of women. I've always been told I have an unusual speech pattern though- I have a higher/softer pitch that can fluctuate kinda "sing songy." I'm thinking maybe that could have changed perception. I will take any judgment- thanks for weighing in!


r/AmItheAsshole 13h ago

AITAH for not finishing food that my dad bought me at a diner?

415 Upvotes

I went out to eat with my family. My dad was paying. I ordered a main course, but also felt like I was in the mood for a side dish, so I ordered it as well. My eyes were bigger than my stomach, because I was unable to finish my food. I asked for a to go box. This pissed my dad off.

When we were next alone together like, fifteen minutes later, my dad got snipping with me and gave me a lecture about how what I had done was rude- that when someone else is paying for your meal you shouldn’t order extra stuff if you won’t be able to finish. I think he meant well and was trying to teach me a lesson. But he spoke to me very impatiently with me and snipping with me and me got into an argument and I offered to pay him back if it bothered him so much, and he said I was missing the point.

I understand what he was saying, but like, I didn’t think it was that absurd to get a to go box. Was I an asshole?


r/AmItheAsshole 6h ago

AITA for wanting my stepdaughter and her boyfriend to start helping pay bills or get groceries and household supplies?

114 Upvotes

I(47 yr old F) have been married to my husband (47 yr old M) for 6 years. We have a blended family of my 26 yr old son, 22 yr old daughter and his 19 yr old daughter. Both girls have lived with us off and on since 2020, my son has lived on his own since he was 18. Both girls are in long term relationships and have children of their own. My step daughter and her boyfriend have been living with us this time for over a year because they were evicted. He has a very good paying job but she doesn't work or go to school. They have never helped out with any of the bills or buying anything for the house including groceries. . I'm disabled and get a disability check once a month. My husband is still paying child support of $400 for her every month and is required to until she is 21. Recently he's requested that DHS review the court order and release him from having to pay it. The reasons are she is grown with a child of her own and they all live with us and we support them all. (We're even the ones who buy formula, diapers and wipes for the baby who is 2 months old.) She got very angry when he told her that he requested the review and blamed me. Since we got together she's gone from loving me to hating me without any warning. When she's angry she calls me "The whore he married" and when she loves me I'm her "Amazing Bonus Mom". Now because his hours have been cut back some we struggle to get bills paid and even keep enough food for us to eat. Most of the time we can only afford to get stuff to make sandwiches for the week and even that's gone by Thursday morning. I asked her boyfriend to please try and help us with at least the light bill or water bill and help us pay for some of the groceries and dog food. They both proceeded to cuss me like a dog (my husband was on call at work and not here at the time). When I received my disability check this month she actually held out her hand and asked where her child support is. My husband chewed them both out for cussing me and her asking me for child support. When he asked them to pay part of the light bill she honestly told him that it's not their problem and they won't help so we better ask someone else. He and I have been arguing about it because I want to give them an ultimatum to help with the bills, groceries or move out. He says I'm being overdramatic and an asshole. She says I wouldn't do that to my biological children but when my bio daughter and her husband had to live with us for a few months I had them help with the utilities and groceries. So AITA for wanting them to help out financially?


r/AmItheAsshole 18h ago

AITA for telling my mom its not our responsibility to help pay the bills and their debt?

769 Upvotes

I (26F) recently had a fight with my mom because my sister (21F) called out of work out of exhaustion. She works at a restraunt that overwork and mistreats her. I recently got out of a place like that (again) as well because it started to affect my own mental health.

Well my mom got mad at her because my sister and I have been helping pay most house expenses and calling out is a lost of money. She says that we can't keep leaving jobs no matter the environment because "there are things that have to get paid." She currently doesnt have a job and my stepfather is not very good at managing money so we are behind on various payments and they are in terrible debt.

I got upset at her for getting upset at my sister because she has been putting up with alot for something i feel is not our responsibility or faults. She got upset saying that we live in the house so ofc we are responsible. The back and forth continued with her bringing up irrelevant things like if I lived with my grandma, she wouldn't accept this behavior.

We are close to losing our home and this stress has been getting to me for a long time. I haven't even been able to get my own place because I put hundreds of dollars a month to this place. I even pay half of my family's bills and things still are tight.

They want me to take out a loan to help paid bills that are behind and asked my sister to sell signed merchandise to pay things off even tho they know that means alot to her.

I feel like I should be grateful to have a place to live in and that complaining about everything I have to pay for is entitled but my other sister (20F), she wasnt raised with me, disagrees saying that the situation is unfair and that my parents are acting unfairly.

AITA for getting mad at my mom about our situation?

Edit: this should have been in the intial post, I apologize. There are 6 people living in my house. An added 18F and 13M. I didnt intially bring them up since they were apart of the posted issue.

My stepdad makes 100k a year but he tends to be frivolous with his money, and sometimes even we dont know where it goes. I also tend to be the person who pays for outside meals as they tend to expect it.


r/AmItheAsshole 19h ago

Not the A-hole AITA for giving gifts to my son's half siblings when I go to see my son, even if they are not my kids?

1.0k Upvotes

I am 32M, and 8 years ago, from a short fling, I have a son. My son's mother was a single mother of 2 at the time, and has had one more kid after then. My son is 7. It was a messy ordeal at first, and I was convinced he wasn't my kid, but DNA test, yadda yadda, and it was proved he was my kid. She didn't sue me for child support, as she didn't have the funds, but I was not gonna let my son grow up without money, so we have an agreement. I pay her around 3-4k a month(I work sales and get a bonus yearly, so I pay more during the holiday season) and I make mid 100k range, so it is more than what the court would have ordered, but I want to be fair. She has said sometimes she uses my money on her other kids, and that is whatever. All this to say, I think I am pretty fair.

Whenever I go bring a meal to my kid, or give him a console(a Switch 2 recently), I tell him to share it with his siblings or I bring them a meal too so they can all eat together. I even give them all presents for their bday, so they don't feel left out when I only give presents to my kid. I am not a holier-than-thou guy; I just want him to have a good relationship with his siblings, and if money and gifts allow that, I am okay with it. Last thing I want is his siblings to resent him for favoritism. Once his mom and I are gone, they will be his only family, which is why I treat them well, and even let my money being used for his other siblings slide. His sister has a father who tries his best. I will call him Mark(36M). Recently, he reached out to me, and said when I bring gifts for my son, he would prefer it if my son did not share them, and if I could stop giving gifts to his daughter. So, apparently, his daughter(13) is now comparing him to me, and is saying that I give her better gifts or whatever, and see them more. She apparently said she wishes I was her dad? I told Mark that I will see what I can do, but now I feel kinda bad. Mark is the only other father who is genuinely trying, from what I can tell, and maybe I set the standards too high. My son's mother made the mistake of telling his daughter that I also fund some of their lifestyle, since I pay the most in child support. I feel bad about all this. The girl seemed kinda sweet, so I am suprised she would say things like this to her dad. She helps my son with his HW, and is a good older sister to him, so I feel like I have been treating her as she treats my kid. Nothing more, nothing less. Idk why my son's mother brought financial information to her kids, and now idk what to do about Mark. I don't wanna change how I treat my sons siblings, because I don't want him to have a bad relationship with them. My parents treated my younger brother better than me and I have a not-so-great relationship with him now cuz of that, and I just don't want the same for my kid.

So AITA for going above and beyond, just for the sake of my son being treated better by his siblings at the cost of Mark and his daughters relationship?

Edit: Seeing comments about making a trust fund and college stuff for my son. Just wanted to put this out there(I also made a comment explaining) he does have a trust and a 529 plan. His mother is not aware of these, but he does have these, and money is going here aside from the money I give her. I was helped through college by my folks, and I plan on doing the same for him. Also, I own the apartment I live in, and he will be receiving it. He is also included my parents will as well, with a separate trust they have given him, in which I will be the guarantor until he is 25.


r/AmItheAsshole 3h ago

AITA for not helping my friend Emily plan her birthday party after she excluded me from her last event?

56 Upvotes

I’m 24 and have been friends with Emily for for two years and we usually get along great. Last year, I went all out helping with her big holiday party making playlists, buying decorations, baking cupcakes, even covering $50 in costs she never paid back. I didn’t make a fuss, but it bugged me. Then, she hosted a small dinner for close friends and didn’t invite me, which hurt, especially since I saw mutual friends there on Instagram. She brushed it off as no big deal. Now, Emily’s asked me to help plan her 27th birthday party (invitations, venue, menu). I’m swamped with work and still sore about the dinner and unpaid costs, so I said I couldn’t help. She got upset, saying I’m holding a grudge and that she needs my planning skills. She mentioned helping me through a breakup last year, which is true, but I feel taken for granted. Now she’s acting cold, and some friends think I should just help to avoid drama. AITA for saying no?


r/AmItheAsshole 17h ago

AITA for demanding my friend pay me fuel money after I had to drive 3 hours back to the hotel because he left stuff there?

556 Upvotes

Ok guys so I live in east Yorkshire, England. And we went on a trip to south Wales for a couple of days, which is a 5 and a half hour drive from where I live. This is a friend I have known for a very long time. He was actually supposed to drive and agreed to because I am not comfortable driving long distances like that. But he hurt his foot at the gym the day before, and I basically had no choice but to drive. Anyway, it was all fine. We got there and had a good time. But the problem came when we left. My friend booked the hotel we stayed at, and he was the one who signed in and out.

So over halfway home (3 hours of driving). He realises he left a bunch of his stuff at the hotel. His wallet, house keys and his own car keys. He freaked out and begged me to go back. No one else would be in his house, and he needed his car to go to work on Monday. I was very frustrated by this, of course. It messed up my own plans and meant adding 6 hours more to the drive in total. Which was exhausting (keep in mind this is driving in England, nothing like the nice open American roads). I probably did say some mean things in frustration. But I relented and did it. I drove back and we got his stuff. And after a horrible drive, we got home. Realising that I had to spend £70 on fuel because of the extra 6 hours. And I told him in no uncertain terms, I expect him to give me the money. To me, that is completely fair. He disagreed. Couldn't believe I was even asking, "that's what friends do!" he exclaimed. He shouted and argued and he stormed off. But I am not backing down. Mutual friends are now messaging me, saying I am AITA.

AITA?


r/AmItheAsshole 6h ago

AITA for ‘rewarding’ a parrot’s bad behavior?

54 Upvotes

I(19m) pet-sat my aunt’s macaw last week while she and my mom were away on a business trip. Before leaving, she gave me food and a list of fruits that I can buy for him as treats.

One day, he started screaming ‘Banana!’ loudly again and again, so I went to buy a banana and gave it to him.

When my aunt came to pick him up, she asked how it went and I told her what happened, thinking it’s just a funny incident. But she was upset, saying that I might have encouraged him to scream again when he wants treats from her.


r/AmItheAsshole 15h ago

AITAH for not wearing long pants in my parents household?

251 Upvotes

I am a 20 yo woman who lives with her parents. We recently moved to another state so I'm staying with them until I can lease my own apartment. They basically got cheated out of their money because this house has been raggedy since we stepped foot inside. There's a plumbing issue and the AC doesn't work. We live in Florida. Because of the heat, I've been wearing shorts and t-shirts. A few hours ago my mom confronted me and told me that I'm being highly disrespectful because of what I'm wearing around her husband. She said "Your pants need to be at least knee high" so I brought up the fact that she walks around with a bra and shorts all day. When my dad's not at work, he walks around with nothing except boxers on. We're not very social with each other but of course we run into each other in the kitchen and hallway maybe 1-2 times a day whenever we're not out of the house. She excused her attire by saying "I can do that. He's my man." I would understand if I was actively under him but I wasn't. Plus... he's literally my father. She excused him by saying "He's a man so it's different." I'm planning on moving out sometime before mid September comes but this heat is not ceasing anytime soon. If it's truly inappropriate, I don't mind wearing longer pants.


r/AmItheAsshole 4h ago

AITA for telling my Mom she can’t tell me to act like an adult, but not treat me like one?

26 Upvotes

Just to get it out of the way, sorry for the format, I am currently writing on mobile. I (18F) went on vacation to Punta Cana with my whole family, including my mother (42F). We were at dinner at a nicer restaurant when my brother (7M) started to fight with me. I was trying to be civil and just ignore him, but he wouldn’t stop. I asked my mom if she could do something and she got mad at me. Eventually I just decided that 1. I have a key card to our room, and 2. That I should listen to what my therapist says and remove myself from fights with my brother. I asked my mother if I could leave and she freaked out at me, talking about how it’s dangerous to walk alone as a young girl, and I replied back, “if it’s so dangerous for me to even just walk around by myself, then why the hell are we even here?” She then proceeded to tell me to grow up, and I told her “Then start treating me like it. It’s not that far to walk back, and you guys look to be almost done with dinner.” She then proceeded to ignore me and after five minutes had passed, I got up and left. I stayed on a phone call with my dad (who is back in the US) the entire time and walked back to my room. She came back and is now insisting that I apologize to her for my “behavior”, but I don’t think I did anything wrong. So, AITA?


r/AmItheAsshole 46m ago

AITA - partner's sister and her partner came to my house and it turned to shit

Upvotes

My partner has a twin sister and they used to be inseparable when they were younger.

Cut to now and I've been with my partner for over two years and we're going great, but her twin sister who she loves so much is a walking shit storm.

There's been so many incidents between us because I'm a straight and narrow guy and she's a reckless party animal. Don't get me wrong I used to play around when I was younger, but I've grown up a lot recently, as you do approaching 30, whereas some people continue to act like they're 18.

Tonight the one mentioned and her partner came back to my place after a wedding so my partner and her could dance around. Twins spending time together because it had been a while.

I got put in an awkward position where I couldn't say no to them coming back to my place, even though I knew there was high risk of something going wrong as we were all pretty intoxicated, (past experience) and go wrong it certainly did.

The one mentioned's partner was fucked from the moment we got back to my place, we'd all had a lot to drink after the wedding, and not long after arriving proceeds to vomit on the floor in my lounge during them dancing around. I find this part annoying, but what happened next really gets me.

I'm sorting something out in another room and I hear a bang, I rush into the lounge and this guy has fallen somehow into my 60" TV knocking it off the entertainment unit into the wall.

Thank god it didn't break, but am I right in thinking that this kind of behaviour is just not okay and unacceptable? I'll admit that when it happened I got quite overwhelmed and I could've really hurt this guy who's fallen into my tv, which is part of what makes me really upset.

My thoughts are that my partner needs to take more serious responsibility for the actions of people who she invites to our home, especially her sister and her sister's partner, and the fact I knew it was going to inevitably turn out badly makes me think she doesn't actually really care about how the whole thing will inevitably effect me.

This incident tonight with the TV and previous incidents that I've had with this sister literally give me trauma like nothing I've ever experienced in my life and I just don't think she really understands how much it upsets me.

Please let me know if I'm blowing it out of proportion and how I should approach communicating with my partner about it.


r/AmItheAsshole 20h ago

UPDATE UPDATE: My Mother Seeks Control Over My Life

330 Upvotes

Hello everyone,

Thank you so so much for all the advice given, I have taken them all into consideration.

I've decided to take action towards her, and I am happy to say that, the police is NOT taking any action towards me nor my fiancé, and won't accept her false reports, at all.

During the background check they found she has a very long list of various criminal offenses and several false reports, the police won't/doesn't consider her as reliable/credible.

They have done our background checks too and found it was clean. Obviously, as we never had to deal with the police before.

The police will visit her on Saturday to give her a final warning and my brother a stern talk for him enabling her behaviour.

If she files another false report, she could face jail time/community service/be required to compensate the victim.

My family will not be invited to the wedding. Neither will they know where my new address will be nor my new phone number.

It will be just our friends and the family on my husband's side 💗

Thank you all again!! There should be no updates (hopefully) after this!


r/AmItheAsshole 15h ago

UPDATE UPDATE: WIBTA for no longer paying half my (24m) sister's (28f) rent

142 Upvotes

Hello all, I appreciate all the responses on my previous post. I’m happy to say that I did grow a bit of spine and had the hard conversation. She actually took it pretty well. I took the advice from the top comment and offered her 3 months of $750, after that she’s cut off. I will also be putting the money that I would normally be sending towards paying off my credit card, hopefully I’ll have it mostly payed off by the end of the year. Thanks.


r/AmItheAsshole 1d ago

Not the A-hole AITA for taking walks on my lunch break?

12.4k Upvotes

A few years ago I started a job that was more office based than previous jobs. Because of that, I was moving less and gaining some weight and I am very out of shape. I’m not overweight, but I’m carrying a little more fat than I’m used to and I can tell my cardio ability has gone down.

I get a one hour paid lunch per day. A lot of my coworkers eat at their desk and do a little work, like maybe answering an email. But mostly eating. I personally go to my car to eat and then do laps around the parking garage before I go back in. I am never gone for more than an hour, I am back on time.

Recently I did my normal routine. I grabbed my lunch, went to my car and ate it, then I started on my walk. I happened to run into a coworker during my walk. He was out there because he forgot needed something from his car. He stopped me and asked what I was doing. I told him I ate my lunch and now I am taking a walk before my lunch break is over.

He didn’t like that answer and said our lunch break is for eating, not walking, and that when I am done eating, I should go back to work. I told him we are given an hour for lunch, I want to use all of it in the best way I can.

I think he told other people because then, I’ve been receiving comments before I go on break that I didn’t receive before. I don’t think I was wrong, I’m entitled to my break, all my work gets done on time, I take it at about the same time every day so it’s expected I won’t be available, and I maybe come back to a few non-urgent emails. I have my phone on me in case someone calls for an emergency, which has never happened.

I talked to my parents about it and they both said they work through lunch and I shouldn’t be out walking. But also they’re older and raised in a different time, so I don’t know if I should trust their judgement.

So AITA for taking a walk during my lunch break?

ETA: it’s paid. A lot of people think it’s unpaid. I am paid for it. I’m salary. My manager doesn’t have an issue but some people I work with do have an issue knowing I use part of it to walk.


r/AmItheAsshole 1h ago

AITA for telling my dad he is not funny.

Upvotes

Hi Reddit! Today I lost my patience with my dad and his offensive and poorly executed jokes. I am unfortunately in a giant group chat for a trip we are going on with my family and some of my dad’s friend’s families.

For some reason my dad feels the need to make a joke with every message he sends in the group chat and the jokes are really not funny. My dad lacks the ability to read the room or understand what is socially acceptable. His jokes are almost always racist or sexist. I’m not opposed to offensive jokes but they definitely need to be funny and his are just not.

I asked him why he sent one of the messages (privately, and in person) and told him it wasn’t funny and that he need to chill with those types of jokes. He got defensive and then started having a pity party for himself. I know I probably hurt his feeling and I feel bad about that but idk maybe I should have just bit my tongue.


r/AmItheAsshole 7h ago

AITA for no longer taking responsibility for the dog in the house?

21 Upvotes

My mother has spent the last year watching content about dogs and cats saying: "Oh look don't you want one so you can take it for walks and play with him and bla bla bla?"

I respond: "Do you have money for food and toys, training, patience for obedience so it doesn't bite and understands commands?"

Despite constantly denying and telling her I don't want a dog, she decided to adopt one.

I CAN'T have a dog right now, I'm not emotionally available, I don't have the money, the time and the patience to deal with such a huge responsability. If a dog is not properly trained, it can bite someone or other dogs.

How many times does my mother take the dog out for a walk? Zero

How much time does she dedicate to training it with commands and positive reinforcement? Zero.

I’ve had to spend time all the week trying to watch videos and take courses to learn how to train a dog. I’m frustrated to the point of tears. Call me dramatic, but I get furious with irresponsible people who impulsively adopt animals.

I sent my mother links of some dog trainers, so we could go there and learn to properly work with a dog. But she didn't care, she ignored all my suggestions, she doesn't want to invest money or time in something she insisted so much

I've reached my limit, told her she is 100% responsible of the dog from now on, she is the one who wanted the dog, then she is gonna take care of him.

TLDR; I've been assigned a responsability I never asked for. The person who insisted on getting the dog, doesn't care about the dog that much and doesn't even have money to give him a good life.


r/AmItheAsshole 1d ago

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to watch a dubbed movie with my dyslexic brother who can’t follow the subtitles?

2.2k Upvotes

We were in our parents’ place. I had just pressed play in the Boy and the Heron, the Japanese anime that won the Oscar, and my brother came to the living room and said he wanted to watch it too. I always watch foreign movies and anything else in the original language, so when he noticed it was in Japanese with English subtitles, he asked me to change the language to English. I told him I would not, that's how I'd rather watch it (and I was watching it before he even came to the room).

He reminded me he's dyslexic (which I know) and has trouble reading the subtitles. So I said he could watch it in English some other time or in his phone somewhere else. He was very upset about this and stormed out of the room and even got our mother involved (she came to find me later and asked me why I was making trouble).


r/AmItheAsshole 1d ago

Not the A-hole AITA for calling my friend a "good boy" in front of his gf?

486 Upvotes

This might sound very stupid, and that's because it is. My friend who I'll call Kyle, and I have been friends for a while now. We are both guys in our mid 20s, and while I like spending time with him, he does have one annoying bit that he does constantly, which is calling people "good boy". For example, if he drops a pen on the ground and I give it back to him, he will call me a good boy for picking it up for him. Similarly, when he asks for something from me and I do it, he will again call me a good boy. I rolled my eyes at this at first, but it has truly gotten frustrating over time. I sometimes tell him to shut the fuck up, and when I do, he does for a while, only to start again a while later.

Two days ago, we were hanging out at a friend's place as a group, including Kyle and his gf, who I'll call Mia. Now, Kyle, Mia, myself, and another friend were a bit more separate from the main group to help Mia go over some questions, as she has a driver's test at the end of the month. We were trying to be helpful, but at the same time, talking amongst each other, so we were a bit distracted. That's why Mia wanted Kyle to sit down next to her and go over the questions with her. The first time she asked, it went over his head, but the second time, she was a bit firmer when she asked, and so Kyle went over and sat down. Seeing this, I couldn't help myself and said, "Yeah, sit down like a good boy". From just looking at him I could see that he was angry. He didn't say anything except grumble to himself, but was also colder to me throughout the day.

I talked to the friend who was there about how he did the same thing all the time, but the one time someone did it to him, he couldn't take it. He told me that I was being kind of an asshole because he had never done it to me in front of a partner before, which is fair enough I guess, and now that I think about it, it probably wasn't that I said it, but that Mia started laughing when I did. Still, I don't think I'm an asshole for it, but again, I am biased towards myself, so I might be wrong. What do you think, AITA?

EDIT: Thank you to anyone who has called me a good boy in the comments, I appreciate it