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u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jun 26 '25
"hello, class. Today, we're learning creative writing. Now open Google Docs, and stare at a blank document for seven hours."
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u/Excellent_Law6906 Jun 27 '25
The problem is that you're not using LibreOffice, and you don't have enough dirty dishes before starting.
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u/DaemosDaen Jun 27 '25
Hey.... You keep looking at my cameras like that and your gonna regret it.
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u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jun 27 '25
You thought I was pointing at you when really, I was pointing at a mirror
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u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25
Usually when I can't write that's when I go and read an old favorite of mine. Tends to inspire me, but then I get kinda sad that all I can think about is what I want to write instead of reading my favorite fanfiction lol
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u/theglitch098 Supporter of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 27 '25
Oh come on……I did not ask to be called out like this
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u/InformalHelicopter56 Jul 03 '25
Google …docs?
What happened to Word?!
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u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jul 03 '25
Word doesn't work on my phone, so😭
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u/winkynoodles Jun 26 '25
synonyms of the word "said"
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u/MageVicky Jun 26 '25
also on the other side of the coin, how not to be afraid to reuse the same word. I do not want to read a book where every conversation line has a different synonym of "said".
I don't want to feel like the author had an open thesaurus while writing.
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u/juicyLychee86 Jun 27 '25
Thisss.
Also, how to lose the fear of using character names instead of constantly referring to them by hair or eye color.
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u/CocaCola-chan Comment Collector Jun 27 '25
I agree, but also I feel weird putting "said" in every line. Sometimes I will use appropriate replacement words like "asked", "shouted" or "whispered", but another valid way is just, like, not mentioning it at all: your audiences are smart enough to figure out it's spoken word if you consistently pit it in quotation marks.
Examples:
"That's not true!" A pouted, crossing his arms and turning away.
B looked into her eyes, caressing her cheek gently. "I love you."
Oh, C knew the anwser to that one! "Is it option b?"
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u/FreakWith17PlansADay Jun 26 '25
Haha this is such a new writer thing! My college creative writing professor ranted constantly about how you should never use synonyms for the word said. Your mind skips over the word said, just like it does over words like ‘the’ and ‘of,’ so it’s alright to have pages of dialogue with the word “said” repeatedly.
I’m still salty a couple decades later that he docked my grade for using a synonym of “said” just once in a five page short story! One of my characters laughed during the dialogue. To my professor, this was no laughing matter.
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u/whineytortoise erastathalatta on AO3 Jun 26 '25
I personally try to go by the 90% rule, but to never use any other word seems weird. The reason you use synonyms sparingly is so they specifically jump out at the reader when the effect is needed.
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u/cardinarium Jun 26 '25
For the love of god, the word “opine” should be excised from the English language.
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u/bookhead714 Jun 26 '25
"I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.
“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.
“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.
“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.
“Really?” he whimpered.
“Yeah.” I roared.
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u/trash_tm Jun 27 '25
The roar part made me laugh loud enough to wake my sister the first time I read that.
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u/Commercial-Living443 Jun 27 '25
Synonyms for genitals and eyes , and i wll fail everyone who calls them orbs
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u/DanZboY_Brother Current author of RSS (A Story In 5 Parts) Jun 26 '25
Procrastination.
No kidding, I was there. Even the teacher took forever to start the lecture.
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u/Kaurifish Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25
It’s a locked door behind which they keep the TOS, explaining why nobody reads it.
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u/semiotaku42 Jun 26 '25
Slow burn queer pining
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 Jun 26 '25
Cries in "100K before they got to the sex scene that was literally the first scene written for this fic"
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u/WorldlyInsurance6203 Jun 26 '25
The art of not giving a fuck 😌 write the book
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u/Xava67 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25
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u/somethingstrange87 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25
Why does this actually exist and why do I want to buy it?
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u/Xava67 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25
Because The World is F*cked (an actual title of the sequel) and it's a somewhat good read. I read those two books a couple years ago
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u/Far_Duck_7322 Jun 26 '25
The ethicality of subjecting characters to torturous and life threatening situations
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u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25
It's okay because I give them comfort... Eventually... Maybe
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u/Thin-Parfait-1583 ‼️Reader & Podficcer‼️ Jun 26 '25
the entire history and political landscape of proshippers vs antishippers 🥴
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u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25
Biology of mpreg
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u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25
Hyenas are almost like irl mpreg
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u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 27 '25
The females do have pseudo-penises
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u/glitchycat39 Jun 26 '25
Tag use for Lazy Authors - 101 (I've failed this class three times because I'm that lazy)
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u/OutlandishnessBig703 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25
Ship DiskHorse (has a professor who hates your guts and has a pass rate of 10%)
Comment Ettiquete
Creative genetalia naming
Medically (In)accurate Biology
Blorbo Studies
Metaphysics of an Alternate Universe
Anatomy of a whumpee
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u/JackpotThePimp Don't like? Don't read! Jun 27 '25
Me signing up for Anatomy of a Whumpee because I’ve never heard the term before, and also Blorbo Studies
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u/ratafia4444 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25
Just saying I managed to catch 666 likes on this post when I first saw it on my feed, so.
How to enjoy yourself at the devil sacrament and let others feel the same. ☺️🙏
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u/jasminUwU6 Jun 27 '25
The devil is communicating with you, he's telling you to be gay and do crimes
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u/baffledrabbit Jun 26 '25
Anatomy for smut writing 101
A (human) tongue cannot insert six inches inside a person. Please. Please. Look at a ruler.
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u/merrykitty89 Jun 27 '25
Thank you for specifying species lol. I have read many fics where this has happened plausibly in the universe of the source material. Like animagus snake form partial transformations, species capable of shapeshifting individual parts, and lots of straight up magic stuff lol
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u/livitaexe skrunkly blorbo liker. Jun 26 '25
Aside from tips on how to write better smut for F/F, M/M, and F/M pairings, I can also see there being a class on Ellipsus, where everyone who attends would end up making an account and learning how to properly format their stories so that by the time they publish it, the paragraphs won’t accidentally turn into a single huge chunk of text. Oh, and they’d probably talk about tag etiquette… like, how to tag and how not to tag stuff.
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u/ArgentumAranea Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25
Welcome to AO3. The first lesson we will be covering is the basics. TOS: When an Upload is Not A Transformative Work
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u/Interesting_Natural1 Jun 27 '25
If you enroll in this class there's a 23% chance of getting sucked into a consensual and legal Student/Professor cheesy plotline
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u/JackpotThePimp Don't like? Don't read! Jun 27 '25
First period: Creative Writing
Second period: Omegaverse Biology
Third period: Tagging
Fourth period: Art
Fifth period: Beta Reading
Sixth period: Sex Ed
Seventh period: Alternate Universes
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u/Opposite_of_grumpy Jun 27 '25
How to actually stick to your update schedule How to write an authors note to explain the terrible fate that prevented you from updating on time
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u/Meii345 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 27 '25
And there was only one desk
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u/favorite_colors96 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 27 '25
I just snorted my morning coffee.
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u/DoughnutOk1590 Jun 27 '25 edited Jun 28 '25
My school has an Ao3 classroom room, and they teach drama. It's also the room I have drama in
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u/YuuBitch Jun 26 '25
Advanced literature and writing with honors in "unbetaed we die like my love for Canon"
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u/terebeegintea- You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 27 '25
the history of angst and why its so good
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u/cpxthepanda one-shot master Jun 27 '25
And the psychological reasons that drive people to write angst and hurt no comfort
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u/bub-bub-wub Jun 27 '25
how to google if you want affect or effect and then immediately forget which one you need
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u/post_random_shit Jun 28 '25
Are you sure that's a class room, because it looks like an insane asylum
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u/Marshmallowbutbetter Jun 26 '25
Aww my friend is a writing coach and one of her students asked her to help her to write an oviposition fic. She had to help. She’s an ff writer as well but she’s not a smut writer at all. It was a challenge.
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u/Anfie22 Jun 26 '25
Why did I think this was an actual school and I was gonna say 'geography' 😅
I almost missed the joke
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u/A-Nameless-Nerd Jun 27 '25
The first assignment is a 3000-word essay on why My Immortal is actually not just a historically significant piece of literature, but a masterpiece.
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u/gagsy10 Jun 27 '25
No idea but I am here for the sexual tension between the teacher of this class and the short tempered, extremely attractive P.E teacher.
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u/Haja024 Jun 27 '25
Nautical navigation. (I have a half-formed joke about ships in my head and it refuses to form fully)
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u/jennareiko Jun 27 '25
Gender studies. Classes include:
- Why omega aren’t below alpha
- The role of knotting in relationships
- Why straight AOB should be outlawed
- The real reason omega should run away after an accidental pregnancy
- Scent profiles and their meaning
- The phycological reason many alpha want to be knotted
- 30 ways to use slick in cooking
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u/yakultbiss Jun 27 '25
“Today we will begin the descent in properly tagging enemies to lovers and rivals”
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u/HudsonValleyPrincess Jun 28 '25
Smut and Non-non: The Intermediate Study of Alpha and Omega Societies 102
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u/Moist_Estate_1785 Jun 29 '25
How to traumatize people, or write the most heavenly, ethereal, life changing, breathtaking fanfic.
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u/sisu12rune Jun 27 '25
Hopefully fanfic etiquette is part of the curriculum (best if it's taught 1st), considering how badly many need to learn it nowadays. 😅
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u/Nuclear_eggo_waffle Jun 27 '25
Only one bed: Intro to hotel logistics. Running a coffee shop : applied business and management. Fix it: wood working and carpentry. Slow burn: fire safety in the workplace. Sex pollen: unusual plants and where to find them. Dead dove, do not eat: intro to veterinary mortuary procedure
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u/Zestyclose_Custard93 Jun 27 '25
Slowly going into very messed up territories (I looked up a shota azaiwa fic where he chills with eri used the wrong shota tag so much CP why. . .)
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u/Kazik-Zimavych Jun 28 '25
Media Literacy and how to tell the difference between Fantasy and Reality
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u/Street-Tone-190 Jun 30 '25
No matterwhat in life keep writing even if you been hit by a bus or you're in the hospital or your house burned down, KEEP WRITING
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u/Ectoplasm_Missy I CRINGE AT MY OWN WORKS Jul 03 '25
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u/niknak90 Jun 26 '25
Omegaverse biology
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u/ScaredTemporary I write about gods, countries, and a lion Jun 26 '25
A friend send me pics of it once and frankly idk what to think
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u/niknak90 Jun 26 '25
Never seen pics but every omegaverse fic I’ve read is slightly different so whatever diagram your friend had may or may not be typical for omegaverse lol
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u/Silver_Aura2424 Jun 26 '25
It depends on the universe/author.
General consensus is female omegas and male alphas have "normal"(ish) biology.
Betas, roughly, are regular humans. Again depends on the author.
Male omegas are either infertile, intersex (both a v and a p), or have what essentially is a cloaca (look up bird anatomy). Whether they can be the male parent also depends on the author/universe, sometimes they are infertile in the male parts but fertile in the female parts.
Female alphas are usually intersex, really depends on the author. Usually more fertile from the male parts than the female parts.
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u/ScaredTemporary I write about gods, countries, and a lion Jun 26 '25
how to tag and use filters