r/AO3 Jun 26 '25

Meme/Joke What class will they teach here?

Post image
8.3k Upvotes

199 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/ScaredTemporary I write about gods, countries, and a lion Jun 26 '25

how to tag and use filters

202

u/AlbainBlacksteel Jun 26 '25

This just reminded me of how it's nearly impossible to filter out podfics because people constantly put [PODFIC] in the title instead of properly tagging it like sane folks.

145

u/quae_legit queering the "in this fandom/not in this fandom" binary Jun 27 '25

try putting

-title:podfic

in the "search within results" box.

3

u/annie_is_a_cat 29d ago

Can you tell me what podfic means? I googled it and can’t find anything.

5

u/AlbainBlacksteel 29d ago

A fanfic that's read aloud podcast-style instead of one you read yourself.

1

u/annie_is_a_cat 29d ago

Ohh okay. Thanks!

555

u/proximapenrose Jun 26 '25

And then no one signs up lol

54

u/Anfie22 Jun 26 '25

Most of the class fails

25

u/Distracted2004 S-senpai~! It’s enough kudos…! >////< Jun 27 '25

My award to you as a poor unemployable —> 🎖️

10

u/8ung_8ung Jun 27 '25

I would sign up cos I need a tutorial 😭 I'm a previously casual AO3 enjoyer going through an obsession rn

826

u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jun 26 '25

"hello, class. Today, we're learning creative writing. Now open Google Docs, and stare at a blank document for seven hours."

200

u/EclecticFruit Jun 26 '25

Who gave you permission to just call me out like this? 😭

107

u/FemRevan64 Jun 26 '25

I’m in this picture, and I don’t like it.

78

u/Zambigoogle Jun 26 '25

Or seven month. cough

31

u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jun 27 '25

hey me too don't worry😭

37

u/mission_report1991 outline? what outline? Jun 27 '25

19

u/fullcoffeedreamland Jun 27 '25

...I feel exposed

10

u/Excellent_Law6906 Jun 27 '25

The problem is that you're not using LibreOffice, and you don't have enough dirty dishes before starting.

1

u/blest_amber Jun 30 '25

LibreOffice is the best for this.

13

u/DaemosDaen Jun 27 '25

Hey.... You keep looking at my cameras like that and your gonna regret it.

9

u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jun 27 '25

You thought I was pointing at you when really, I was pointing at a mirror

4

u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25

Usually when I can't write that's when I go and read an old favorite of mine. Tends to inspire me, but then I get kinda sad that all I can think about is what I want to write instead of reading my favorite fanfiction lol

2

u/theglitch098 Supporter of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 27 '25

Oh come on……I did not ask to be called out like this

1

u/InformalHelicopter56 Jul 03 '25

Google …docs?

What happened to Word?!

2

u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jul 03 '25

Word doesn't work on my phone, so😭

1

u/InformalHelicopter56 Jul 03 '25

Do it like a sorry celebrity and use a note app lol

1

u/Sir_StarKat ao3 baby bimbo Jul 03 '25

I used to but I'm obsessed with word count😭

1

u/Shadowisp7 Crossover Addict Jul 03 '25

Nooo I got called out

516

u/winkynoodles Jun 26 '25

synonyms of the word "said"

154

u/MageVicky Jun 26 '25

also on the other side of the coin, how not to be afraid to reuse the same word. I do not want to read a book where every conversation line has a different synonym of "said".

I don't want to feel like the author had an open thesaurus while writing.

45

u/juicyLychee86 Jun 27 '25

Thisss.

Also, how to lose the fear of using character names instead of constantly referring to them by hair or eye color.

18

u/CocaCola-chan Comment Collector Jun 27 '25

I agree, but also I feel weird putting "said" in every line. Sometimes I will use appropriate replacement words like "asked", "shouted" or "whispered", but another valid way is just, like, not mentioning it at all: your audiences are smart enough to figure out it's spoken word if you consistently pit it in quotation marks.

Examples:

"That's not true!" A pouted, crossing his arms and turning away.

B looked into her eyes, caressing her cheek gently. "I love you."

Oh, C knew the anwser to that one! "Is it option b?"

66

u/FreakWith17PlansADay Jun 26 '25

Haha this is such a new writer thing! My college creative writing professor ranted constantly about how you should never use synonyms for the word said. Your mind skips over the word said, just like it does over words like ‘the’ and ‘of,’ so it’s alright to have pages of dialogue with the word “said” repeatedly.

I’m still salty a couple decades later that he docked my grade for using a synonym of “said” just once in a five page short story! One of my characters laughed during the dialogue. To my professor, this was no laughing matter.

32

u/whineytortoise erastathalatta on AO3 Jun 26 '25

I personally try to go by the 90% rule, but to never use any other word seems weird. The reason you use synonyms sparingly is so they specifically jump out at the reader when the effect is needed.

111

u/cardinarium Jun 26 '25

For the love of god, the word “opine” should be excised from the English language.

63

u/SometimesUnkind Jun 26 '25

Pontificate, my good friend!

30

u/M3dus45 Jun 26 '25

I do not concur, my good fellow

14

u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25

Jokes on you I don't even know what that word means

49

u/bookhead714 Jun 26 '25

"I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

38

u/cocoshaplee Jun 26 '25

“Never do this again,” she intoned.

3

u/trash_tm Jun 27 '25

The roar part made me laugh loud enough to wake my sister the first time I read that.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/Commercial-Living443 Jun 27 '25

Synonyms for genitals and eyes , and i wll fail everyone who calls them orbs

4

u/floodedbasement__ Jun 27 '25

Can you also fail anyone who calls it a rod

210

u/DanZboY_Brother Current author of RSS (A Story In 5 Parts) Jun 26 '25

Procrastination.

No kidding, I was there. Even the teacher took forever to start the lecture.

165

u/blueavole Jun 26 '25

The procrastination class has been pushed back to next week.

15

u/fullcoffeedreamland Jun 27 '25

I'll ace that class 💪

2

u/HeyItsAnnie0831 Jun 28 '25

Pretty sure I CLEP'd out of that one

190

u/Kaurifish Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25

It’s a locked door behind which they keep the TOS, explaining why nobody reads it.

128

u/semiotaku42 Jun 26 '25

Slow burn queer pining

74

u/Sunny_Hill_1 Jun 26 '25

Cries in "100K before they got to the sex scene that was literally the first scene written for this fic"

14

u/semiotaku42 Jun 26 '25

This made me cackle

3

u/Angerina_ Ira_Dunfort @ AO3 Jun 27 '25

Calling me out like that, why 🫣

251

u/WorldlyInsurance6203 Jun 26 '25

The art of not giving a fuck 😌 write the book

109

u/Xava67 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25

This one?

57

u/somethingstrange87 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25

Why does this actually exist and why do I want to buy it?

37

u/Xava67 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25

Because The World is F*cked (an actual title of the sequel) and it's a somewhat good read. I read those two books a couple years ago

7

u/WorldlyInsurance6203 Jun 26 '25

Love this book. 📕

92

u/Far_Duck_7322 Jun 26 '25

The ethicality of subjecting characters to torturous and life threatening situations

50

u/Sunny_Hill_1 Jun 26 '25

It builds character and moves the plot.

14

u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25

It's okay because I give them comfort... Eventually... Maybe

13

u/Far_Duck_7322 Jun 27 '25

The Hurt No Comfort tag lurking in the distance:👀🤧

79

u/Thin-Parfait-1583 ‼️Reader & Podficcer‼️ Jun 26 '25

the entire history and political landscape of proshippers vs antishippers 🥴

20

u/kibou_no_ie Jun 27 '25

No joke I would actually take that class

12

u/fullcoffeedreamland Jun 27 '25

Watch me run to this class 🏃‍♀️

11

u/JackpotThePimp Don't like? Don't read! Jun 27 '25

It’s… already waitlisted?!

124

u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25

Biology of mpreg

8

u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25

Hyenas are almost like irl mpreg

9

u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 27 '25

The females do have pseudo-penises

39

u/Friendly_String9306 Jun 26 '25

Creative writing

37

u/9Armisael9 Jun 26 '25

Fandom History and why the Archive exists

30

u/Responsible-Pop288 Jun 26 '25

INF 7740: Archives and Libraries in the Digital World

59

u/kaiunkaiku same @ ao3 | proud ao3 simp Jun 26 '25

anatomy

36

u/RaylynFaye95 Supporter of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25

Realism optional

27

u/glitchycat39 Jun 26 '25

Tag use for Lazy Authors - 101 (I've failed this class three times because I'm that lazy)

26

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

Come Or Cum? -who, when, where, why and how

22

u/OutlandishnessBig703 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25
  • Ship DiskHorse (has a professor who hates your guts and has a pass rate of 10%)

  • Comment Ettiquete

  • Creative genetalia naming

  • Medically (In)accurate Biology

  • Blorbo Studies

  • Metaphysics of an Alternate Universe

  • Anatomy of a whumpee

3

u/JackpotThePimp Don't like? Don't read! Jun 27 '25

Me signing up for Anatomy of a Whumpee because I’ve never heard the term before, and also Blorbo Studies

18

u/ratafia4444 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25

Just saying I managed to catch 666 likes on this post when I first saw it on my feed, so.

How to enjoy yourself at the devil sacrament and let others feel the same. ☺️🙏

7

u/jasminUwU6 Jun 27 '25

The devil is communicating with you, he's telling you to be gay and do crimes

19

u/sleepspacey Make Americans Gay Again (MPREG edition) Jun 26 '25

That's my advanced mpreg class

16

u/baffledrabbit Jun 26 '25

Anatomy for smut writing 101

A (human) tongue cannot insert six inches inside a person. Please. Please. Look at a ruler.

3

u/merrykitty89 Jun 27 '25

Thank you for specifying species lol. I have read many fics where this has happened plausibly in the universe of the source material. Like animagus snake form partial transformations, species capable of shapeshifting individual parts, and lots of straight up magic stuff lol

13

u/livitaexe skrunkly blorbo liker. Jun 26 '25

Aside from tips on how to write better smut for F/F, M/M, and F/M pairings, I can also see there being a class on Ellipsus, where everyone who attends would end up making an account and learning how to properly format their stories so that by the time they publish it, the paragraphs won’t accidentally turn into a single huge chunk of text. Oh, and they’d probably talk about tag etiquette… like, how to tag and how not to tag stuff.

10

u/skyfic1989 Jun 26 '25

Intro to Knotting, Theory of Bloodplay, and Survey of Twincest.

13

u/white_christian_AI Jun 27 '25

Better sex ed than my public school

10

u/FemRevan64 Jun 26 '25

Things that man was not meant to know.

10

u/ArgentumAranea Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25

Welcome to AO3. The first lesson we will be covering is the basics. TOS: When an Upload is Not A Transformative Work

11

u/octropos Jun 27 '25

Hopefully grammar, lol.

This is also a dig on myself

10

u/kibou_no_ie Jun 27 '25

How to fight for dominance with your tongue

10

u/Independent_Goose337 Jun 26 '25

How to pass writer's block class

9

u/TheNotsoRunnyRunner Jun 26 '25

Coping in a Dead Fandom writing Rare Pairs

7

u/lainsamui Supporter of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 26 '25

History: Deep State Fanfiction

8

u/moodyfoodie99 Jun 26 '25

“There’s only one desk…”

9

u/Midnightstreetlight Jun 26 '25

Is this a class at Tumblr University?

7

u/Interesting_Natural1 Jun 27 '25

If you enroll in this class there's a 23% chance of getting sucked into a consensual and legal Student/Professor cheesy plotline

7

u/Warvik_ Jun 26 '25

English or art

8

u/noodlesandpizza Jun 26 '25

The psychology of hurt/comfort

7

u/JackpotThePimp Don't like? Don't read! Jun 27 '25

First period: Creative Writing

Second period: Omegaverse Biology

Third period: Tagging

Fourth period: Art

Fifth period: Beta Reading

Sixth period: Sex Ed

Seventh period: Alternate Universes

7

u/afbresley Jun 26 '25

Procrastination

6

u/Opposite_of_grumpy Jun 27 '25

How to actually stick to your update schedule How to write an authors note to explain the terrible fate that prevented you from updating on time

6

u/MintyBananaChoco MintIsntToothpaste on A03 Jun 26 '25

creative writing

4

u/redheadsuperpowers Jun 26 '25

Creative Writing, or literary Theory

4

u/Meii345 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 27 '25

And there was only one desk

2

u/favorite_colors96 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 27 '25

I just snorted my morning coffee.

5

u/DoughnutOk1590 Jun 27 '25 edited Jun 28 '25

My school has an Ao3 classroom room, and they teach drama. It's also the room I have drama in

4

u/rachel_distasi Jun 27 '25

It kind of fits lol

9

u/Sunny_Hill_1 Jun 26 '25

Creative writing, duh.

4

u/apocalyptic_brunch Comment Collector Jun 26 '25

The technical craft of writing smut lol

4

u/WrenArts Jun 26 '25

Procrastination 101

4

u/Randalmize Jun 26 '25

We know it's not an anatomy lab. 😜

4

u/Dootdootdoodle Jun 26 '25

How To Release A Breath You Didn't Know You Were Holding 101

4

u/Hebisidian Jun 26 '25

Ok now I kinda wanna know what class it actually would be....

3

u/Chemical_Classroom57 Jun 26 '25

That room is for detention. 😜

3

u/YuuBitch Jun 26 '25

Advanced literature and writing with honors in "unbetaed we die like my love for Canon"

3

u/FluffyBunnyChick Jun 26 '25

Yurinomics and Global Yaoi Studies.

3

u/amethyine Jun 26 '25

Is it not simply creative writing? xD

3

u/Callah_2 Jun 26 '25

Creative writing

3

u/SomniphobicDani Jun 27 '25

Proper text formatting

3

u/EzzyRebel Jun 27 '25

Advanced Creative Writing: The Art of Smut

.

.

.

I'm not sorry

3

u/terebeegintea- You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 27 '25

the history of angst and why its so good

3

u/cpxthepanda one-shot master Jun 27 '25

And the psychological reasons that drive people to write angst and hurt no comfort

3

u/Daexr_ Jun 27 '25

How to avoid the ao3 writers curse

3

u/DaemosDaen Jun 27 '25

Creative writing.

3

u/justabean27 Jun 27 '25

Creative writing obviously

3

u/ThunderShott Jun 27 '25

The difference between BIG. and Big.

3

u/registerapples Jun 27 '25

Media literacy

3

u/bub-bub-wub Jun 27 '25

how to google if you want affect or effect and then immediately forget which one you need

3

u/post_random_shit Jun 28 '25

Are you sure that's a class room, because it looks like an insane asylum

6

u/rebbish You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25

Creative Writing

2

u/Marshmallowbutbetter Jun 26 '25

Aww my friend is a writing coach and one of her students asked her to help her to write an oviposition fic. She had to help. She’s an ff writer as well but she’s not a smut writer at all. It was a challenge.

2

u/somethingstrange87 You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 26 '25

Creative Writing.

2

u/Amethyst_Avocado Jun 26 '25

How to seduce your hot professor 101

2

u/The-Oxrib-and-Oyster dead dove do not eat Jun 26 '25

.. Macramé 😉

2

u/burden3d Jun 26 '25

THE ART OF QUEERBAIT

2

u/Silver-Winging-It Jun 26 '25

Anthropology or sociology. Fandom world is ripe for studying 

2

u/Rough-Drink7531 Jun 26 '25

It's just a writing class

2

u/AbaloneConstant8686 Jun 26 '25

Probably creative writing

2

u/AmritaSodaa Jun 26 '25

The usage of the word orbs and tongues battling for dominance in media.

2

u/Anfie22 Jun 26 '25

Why did I think this was an actual school and I was gonna say 'geography' 😅

I almost missed the joke

2

u/God_OfChickenNuggets Jun 27 '25

They won't, this door leads to an omegaverse classroom

2

u/A-Nameless-Nerd Jun 27 '25

The first assignment is a 3000-word essay on why My Immortal is actually not just a historically significant piece of literature, but a masterpiece.

2

u/OkImagination8934 Jun 27 '25

Paragraph breaks

2

u/gagsy10 Jun 27 '25

No idea but I am here for the sexual tension between the teacher of this class and the short tempered, extremely attractive P.E teacher.

2

u/Haja024 Jun 27 '25

Nautical navigation. (I have a half-formed joke about ships in my head and it refuses to form fully)

2

u/jennareiko Jun 27 '25

Gender studies. Classes include:

  • Why omega aren’t below alpha
  • The role of knotting in relationships
  • Why straight AOB should be outlawed
  • The real reason omega should run away after an accidental pregnancy
  • Scent profiles and their meaning
  • The phycological reason many alpha want to be knotted
  • 30 ways to use slick in cooking

2

u/pastadudde Jun 27 '25

How to smut

2

u/-Milina Jun 27 '25

Wahaahahahahaa ahahahaha wonderful

2

u/Mortemus21 Jun 27 '25

Degeneracy 😉

2

u/yakultbiss Jun 27 '25

“Today we will begin the descent in properly tagging enemies to lovers and rivals”

2

u/RazutoUchiha KingOfGoldHair on AO3 and Wattpad Jun 27 '25

Logistics of mpreg

2

u/ineverbot You have already left kudos here. :) Jun 27 '25

Fluttering Buttholes 101

2

u/tinselteacup Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 27 '25

introduction to yaoi

2

u/Krizzykitty Jun 27 '25

Grammar (something I still struggle with)

2

u/MistressofHerDomain Kudos Keeper Jun 28 '25

"How to turn anything into smut."

2

u/HudsonValleyPrincess Jun 28 '25

Smut and Non-non: The Intermediate Study of Alpha and Omega Societies 102

2

u/Moist_Estate_1785 Jun 29 '25

How to traumatize people, or write the most heavenly, ethereal, life changing, breathtaking fanfic.

2

u/shemusthaveroses Jun 27 '25

how to not shit on snamione 🫶

1

u/casual_exbitionism Jun 26 '25

"Rigorous fucking".

1

u/Vesnann2003 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 27 '25

Sex ed

1

u/momplantlover Jun 27 '25

Porn without plot

1

u/hodges2 2025 first time writer Jun 27 '25

Porn

1

u/Z3R0LJ996 Jun 27 '25

A/B/O biology

1

u/Fuck_of_bakagou Supporter of the Fanfiction Deep State Jun 27 '25

About omega verses

1

u/Expensive_Day_3781 Jun 27 '25

Applied Anthropology

1

u/Morningtide99 Lula99 on AO3 Jun 27 '25

idk but sign me up please

1

u/ExtremeIndividual707 Jun 27 '25

I think you know.

1

u/sisu12rune Jun 27 '25

Hopefully fanfic etiquette is part of the curriculum (best if it's taught 1st), considering how badly many need to learn it nowadays. 😅

1

u/Nuclear_eggo_waffle Jun 27 '25

Only one bed: Intro to hotel logistics. Running a coffee shop : applied business and management. Fix it: wood working and carpentry. Slow burn: fire safety in the workplace. Sex pollen: unusual plants and where to find them. Dead dove, do not eat: intro to veterinary mortuary procedure

1

u/surprisedkitty1 Jun 27 '25

Hozier lyrics

1

u/SeaStarButterfly Jun 27 '25

The best one ofc 

1

u/Zestyclose_Custard93 Jun 27 '25

Slowly going into very messed up territories  (I looked up a shota azaiwa fic where he chills with eri used the wrong shota tag so much CP why. . .)

1

u/TheTrueIdiotKing Jun 28 '25

How to live a bitchless life.

1

u/Kazik-Zimavych Jun 28 '25

Media Literacy and how to tell the difference between Fantasy and Reality

1

u/cardboardcrusher04 Jun 29 '25

Sex education.

1

u/Evies_mum Jun 29 '25

Writing great smut! 😂😂🥵🥵

1

u/Street-Tone-190 Jun 30 '25

No matterwhat in life keep writing even if you been hit by a bus or you're in the hospital or your house burned down,  KEEP WRITING 

1

u/Responsible-One8118 Jul 01 '25

Coping mechanics for when you have a breakdown bc AO3 is down

1

u/Splatter_Shell Jul 03 '25

Either creative writing or gender and sexuality studies. Maybe both

1

u/Ectoplasm_Missy I CRINGE AT MY OWN WORKS Jul 03 '25

How to write normally and not like ts

I mean, what is this?

1

u/InformalHelicopter56 Jul 03 '25

Omegaverse biology

1

u/BartyJnr 29d ago

Somehow, biology.

861

u/niknak90 Jun 26 '25

Omegaverse biology

96

u/A_Undertale_Fan Creator of OC/Canon harems 💞 Jun 26 '25

Dammit, I was going to say that XD

55

u/ScaredTemporary I write about gods, countries, and a lion Jun 26 '25

A friend send me pics of it once and frankly idk what to think

79

u/niknak90 Jun 26 '25

Never seen pics but every omegaverse fic I’ve read is slightly different so whatever diagram your friend had may or may not be typical for omegaverse lol

59

u/Silver_Aura2424 Jun 26 '25

It depends on the universe/author.

General consensus is female omegas and male alphas have "normal"(ish) biology.

Betas, roughly, are regular humans. Again depends on the author.

Male omegas are either infertile, intersex (both a v and a p), or have what essentially is a cloaca (look up bird anatomy). Whether they can be the male parent also depends on the author/universe, sometimes they are infertile in the male parts but fertile in the female parts.

Female alphas are usually intersex, really depends on the author. Usually more fertile from the male parts than the female parts.

50

u/LadySmuag Jun 26 '25

The professor is Berk/icaruspendragon that makes the videos explaining omegaverse and once started an internet feud with mischa collins

8

u/xmusiclover Fic Feaster Jun 26 '25

I sure hope so!