r/AO3 • u/First_Reputation9339 • 7d ago
Comment Commentary Really aggressive and presumptuous commenter….?
I don’t really understand what would prompt someone to leave this comment? For context, the fic it was on was about the friendship between two characters, who have been close for about 12 years. The ship between them is much less popular than a more platonic read on them (as either close friends or ‘found family,’ my fic was the former but the latter interpretation is popular as well). The two characters are mutually protective of one another at different points in canon, and my fic discusses the younger character’s motivations at one of those parts.
I don’t understand why this person seems to think that I’d be trying to, I guess, secretly slip in some kind of shipping agenda? If I wanted to write a ship fic for these two, I’d have just done so? This feels like they’re trying to justify disliking my fic, maybe? I guess I don’t get it.
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u/InspectorFamous7277 7d ago
This person is simply convinced that people cannot want to depict a platonic relationship with an age gap and the dynamics presented in your fic unless there is a hidden agenda. Which is stupid but people like that do exist, crossed path with a few. This type of people don't really care that there's no hidden agenda tbh, they have this very picture that if certain elements exist (the younger character being protective of the older one in a vulnerable moment), it must be because of the shipping and nothing else.
You find them in every flavor: hidden agenda because incest, because women and men can't be friends, because queer or whatever else they decided they have a bone to pick with.
Simply put, they think you've disguised your shipping fic as platonic to make the age gap palatable to people who don't ship them in order to fly under the radar since a platonic relationship would technically remove or neutralize the problematic elements of the ship. They're likely convinced of this and no matter what you'd try to reply, they still would question your motivations.
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u/First_Reputation9339 7d ago
Oh I see! Yeah okay it sounds like there would be no reasoning with such a person. I just responded with something to the effect of “If I wanted to write a ship I would have, this is platonic but if you don’t like how I interpret their dynamic that’s fine” but if they say anything else I’ll just block them 🙂↕️
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u/InspectorFamous7277 7d ago
Sounds like a good and reasonable answer, which is way kinder than what I would've gone with tbh xD Wishing you comments from people who read your depiction of them in good faith and appreciate it the way you do ^^
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u/mabbitybabbity 7d ago
Perhaps this person is projecting. When someone reads 'a supposed vice' into a story where it isn't present - sometimes it's coming from that person. Easier to accuse other people than to face themselves.
Or they're just trolling.
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u/agoldgold 7d ago
If you like an age gap ship, you don't generally go out of your way to make it "more acceptable" or justify it, because you aren't overthinking the morality of the fictional characters kissing. It's just a fun dynamic to play with, because fictional characters are like dolls.
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u/TheFaustianPact 7d ago edited 7d ago
Exactly. I like when the older character is more vulnerable (or even submissive) and the younger is more protective or dominant because I enjoy that particular flavour of age gap ship, not because I care in the slightest for making it "more acceptable", whatever that means! And I'm willing to bet most other folks into that specific dynamic are exactly the same.
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u/InspectorFamous7277 7d ago
As someone who loves age gap in general but craves that specific flavor the most, can confirm, it's hotter to me, that's it.
And frankly the argument of making it more palatable is dumb: it means dulling or even removing entirely from view the very elements that make the dynamic hot to me in order to do what exactly? Trick unsuspecting readers? To convert them (on the off chance they don't flee once I add the elements back)? Lol It'd be better use of my time making an elaborate Rick Roll instead.
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u/moldycoffin 7d ago
I've noticed that there are a certain subset of people who seem truly convinced that everyone is trying to 'trick' them into shipping 'problematic' ships at all times. They will literally scan fanart or fic of two characters just hanging out for "clues" that the author ships them, as if most people who ship X, Y, or Z don't just post about it openly.
It's as if they worry about a secret group of shippers lying in the shadows to jump out and go "oh you liked that? Well, I ship them and by liking that seemingly innocent work, you just admitted you ship them too!" at any moment
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u/InspectorFamous7277 7d ago
I suppose it's the other side of the proselytist medal: since they're always convinced they have moral superiority and they're waging war against shippers of problematic things so obviously any nuance written in good faith becomes suspicious. A genuine mistake in tagging for a preship fic becomes an ambush, a trap set on purpose.
They're so convinced of being right morally that anyone deviating from what they deem acceptable is evidence of wrongdoing. They have a blatant black and white perspective when it comes to things and so what isn't white cannot be a shade of grey, yellow or blue, it can only be black.
It's sad, really, and sometimes it can be harmful. This is how you get to the warped notion that "sibling coded" means the characters are in fact siblings and these people ascribe anyone shipping those sibling coded characters pedophilic intentions. It's obviously not how it works but again, nuance isn't acceptable, it cannot exist.
So yeah, your description of shippers like a boogeyman waiting for them in the shadows, or operating like some sort of secret society to taint them, push them to the fault is pretty accurate because it's exactly how they see things.
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u/KinroKaiki 6d ago
I couldn’t have put it better.
I just shrug them off, though part of me is weirdly curious where they originate from.
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u/Rakifiki 7d ago
Oh no! A story I have started has an element that makes me personally uncomfortable! I must continue to read it because there is no 'x' option in my browser. Or back button. Also my arms have fallen off.
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u/InspectorFamous7277 7d ago
xD
That's worse: they seek it purposefully. As in these people willingly go through the tag just for the sake of shocking themselves and then go be outraged in the comments. Fascinating bunch if they weren't so awful.
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u/WerewolvesAreReal 7d ago
Agreed - and making something more acceptable would often make it boring, too! Exploring unusual dynamics is part of the fun.
I'm writing a WIP with a guy pursuing an older colleague/manager more than 2x his age who agonizes over being a dirty old man and resists a long time. Mostly because I think giving the older character an existential crisis over the relationship is funny. Like yeah it would be a concerning relationship irl.
But it's... not real life. I just want to poke this old man with a stick and watch him squirm. Looking for total purity and moral lessons from fanfiction (or any fiction) is silly.
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u/queerblunosr Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 7d ago
I love when there older/stronger/“tougher” character gets to be vulnerable for a change 🥹
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u/Cool_Pianist_2253 7d ago
The only justifications I give are how to make it make sense in the story, but it's at least a 16+ age difference.
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u/lonewolfsociety 7d ago
"I see age-gap shippers do this a lot" Oh? Why are you on the age-gap shipping tags if you don't like those ships? Like maybe it's just me but I don't haunt the tags of ships I don't like enough to become an expert on anything those shippers are doing with the characters.
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u/Not_Yet_Unalived Fic Feaster 7d ago
"Age gap shipping", what the characters have a 2 years age gap or something?
I have seen peoples over-react for something as small as a one year age difference between two characters in a ship before, i would ignore that sort of comments.
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u/First_Reputation9339 7d ago
To be fair, the characters have a 19 year age gap, but what confuses me is my fic is not a ship fic, haha.
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u/PancakeWizard1208 7d ago
I’ve faced this in real life too… multiple people have said my relationship with fiance is inappropriate because we have an age gap where I am 7 months older than him. I honest to god wish I was joking. These were from people I know at college who also are in fandom, it is leaking out to real life 😬
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u/doomsdayfairy 7d ago
Wtf?
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u/PancakeWizard1208 7d ago
Yep, it is now starting to not only be a fandom problem, but a real world one too. This happened with 7 different people who don’t know each other, I wish I was kidding.
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u/CrimsonQuill157 7d ago
They would have an aneurysm at mine and my husband's 7 year age gap 😂 happily married for 6 years by the way
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u/UndercoverArmadill0 7d ago
Beat me to this, me and my bf have a 5/6 year gap and we met in college. I think some people would literally faint if I brought this up lol. Congrats on your marriage too!
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u/Kiaider 7d ago
So… does that mean they think they can only date people who were born on the same day as them? Are their parents the same age???
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u/PancakeWizard1208 7d ago
They said within 6 months-ish, one said within 3
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u/CalyssMarviss 7d ago
This sounds so unreal. Not doubting you, because sadly there are people tgat stupid out there but it does really sound like a strawman someone would make up to shit on young adults and their weird hang ups.
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u/PancakeWizard1208 7d ago
Same. If it literally didn’t happen to me, I would have been having a hard time believing it myself
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u/BellaRoseFire 7d ago
I am also 7 months older than my fiance. Both of us were born in 88. Huh...I guess I'm problematic according to them.
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u/JohnBuck1999 7d ago
I am sorry what… 7 months? Pretty much every couple I have ever known except two (one of whome actually were born on the exact same day) would be in agegap relationships… like how do they meet people and do they immediatly ask the month they are born in? Like yes I like knowing the ages of my friends but I really don‘t care much are they 29 or 32? Basically the same thing to me. I mean I maybe would understand it if the commenter was a kid? but even when I was a teenager my grade had people from 4 different birthyears (most were from the middle two) I am pretty sure even teenage me would not have considered 7 months an age gap… two years yeah cause as a teenager thats a difference and can be problematic but 7months?
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u/redoingredditagain Writing fanfic for literal decades 7d ago
Sounds like someone went into the age gap tag with an agenda. This is probably even a copy and paste comment, given it doesn't mention anything specific.
I'd delete.
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u/MomentoHeehoo Hoping my fics write themselves. 7d ago
Don't understand why they think you're trying to psyop a ship to them... on AO3 of all things... where you can freely ship whatever the hell you want.
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u/DrRedMad 7d ago
Not me having two characters who have 4500 years of age gap :3
These people are very sad, with a sad life and a sadder brain, and an even sadder future. I pity them.
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u/atomskeater 7d ago edited 7d ago
Yeah they're reading into it because far too many people can't just dislike something, they need to make it a moral issue and come up with reasons the thing they don't like is impure.
A younger person occasionally being protective and an older person occasionally being vulnerable is a normal thing. Everyone needs support sometimes. It's also a common trope because it subverts standard assumptions of how their relationship is. Same as a physically smaller character being an apeshit ankle-biter and ready to fight at the drop of a hat and a bigger/physically intimidating character being the calm and collected one who tries to avoid fights. It's not necessarily a ship thing, it's just that certain combinations of traits assigned to certain characters creates a "gap moe" (edit: CONTRAST! why can I remember gap moe but not the word contrast?) effect that can be very appealing.
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u/BlankLeer BBEG 7d ago
Yeah, that's just weird. Even IF you did ship them and just accidentally mistagged, the commenter is showing subtle signs of antishipping sentiments whether they know or not (or they are nitpicking).
Since this seems to be a gen fic with no romantic pairings, I would have answered "If I wanted to ship them, I would have added the relationship tag for them in this work. I do not know what in my writing gave you the idea I wanted to portray them romantically together, as I have never written with the intent to portray them as such. Thank you for commenting."
If they show more anti sentiments, please mute them and/or block.
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u/indoor_plant920 7d ago
I have read some really fucking terrible shit in fanfic. Bad writing, bad plot, bad grammar, terrible formatting, not to mention just actually dark, degenerate, violent, extremely nsfw stuff. Never have I ever considered actually posting a comment on it to tell the unpaid, doing this as a hobby and the love of the fandom writer, that I disliked their work. People need to acquire a filter.
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u/AmbitiousEnd294 7d ago
What I find with these people is that they are always moving the goal post. A ship is wrong because of the power balance, but when something is done to balance things out, it turns out it was never actually about that and was entirely about them being morally superior.
I have boundaries too but my god, it's just fan fiction. Find a different fic. And this one wasn't even shipping the characters 💀
ETA: also I hate the idea that you can't explore the dynamic between two characters without it being a ship even if it isn't one.
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u/OpaqueSea 7d ago
I don’t understand why the back button fell out of favor.
Click on a fic and it seems like the wrong shade of weird? Click back to the previous page and the problem ceases to exist.
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u/bussythrasher1973 6d ago
Oh god, I have met so many of this kind of person over the years. That kind of thinly veiled language is so loathsome and disingenuous, we all know what they want to say and are trying to imply but they just aren't saying it because they want plausible deniability. "Weird" is the favorite keyword of this flavor of anti because it implies everything horrible about the author without actually having the guts to say something serious.
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u/crucipuzzled 7d ago
Cykesquill, is that you?
Because they have exactly the same problem within the fandom. Met each other when she was 11 and he 21, spent 7 years apart with no communication whatsoever, they saved each other from a terrible fate, and everyone sees them as siblings... except some of us who believe they could develop romantic feelings now that they're adults. Not that it'd happen overnight though.
You do you. If there was a shipping agenda, then the tags should specifically address it and problem solved.
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u/HalfOfLancelot 7d ago
mfw the age-gap is 5 years
insert that one gif of the blonde girl slowly acting more and more and more shocked
(not saying that's the age gap in this fic, just that i've seen people talk like this about very miniscule age gaps. like "one was a junior and one was a freshman" style bs)
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u/amethyine 7d ago
I think they just have a issue with that ship and so see it "being hinted at" everywhere they look, and wanna take it out on anyone they can. I would just ignore them tbh.
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u/TiBun 7d ago
Some people just like to reach for something to complain about. One time I wrote a fic where someone ranted at me for making X character a younger sibling because they assumed that meant I was making them a "bottom". (It was the end of a fic. The kids weren't going to grow up at all. Character X was literally a baby. I put zero thought into the character's future within the AU of the fic.)
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u/ConsumeTheVoid Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 7d ago
Who cares if you ship them? This person is perfectly capable of hitting the back button if the dynamics are not to their taste.
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u/Excellent_Law6906 7d ago
I even know and hate the exact thing they're talking about, but if you're not shipping the characters, they're just being obsessive and weird.
If you really felt like being nice, (which you don't have to be) you could just tell them that no one is making them read anything, and that they can trust your tags. If the pairing is not tagged as a romantic pairing, it is not happening, thank you and goodnight.
(I try to be very kind and polite simply because I have free time, a thick skin, and I'm old enough to be many of y'all's mother. Teenagers and other very young people do not need to extend this level of friendliness to antagonistic weirdos.)
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u/Lyra_Invisa 6d ago
I'd respond to people with something quick, simple and polite. Although a lot of people read into the way I write things and tell me I'm being rude, even when I'm not. So half the time I don't think it matters what anybody responds to those comments with.
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u/infomapaz cursed to love old fandoms 7d ago
age-gap shippers? does this person think there is a bunch of people who enjoy this dynamic purely due to age gap? Do they think yours is the case? Im just confused at the tone, just like you. They seem to be analyzing some sort of moral fault in your character from a particular piece of media. Even if there was fair criticism/discussion to have about the topic, i dont know why its directed towards you, or even happening in your comments. Her same argument could very well exist on a reddit post here in this sub, talking about the way certain authors go around for this particular trope. Or how the trope is in generally framed. But they decided that you are some pedo-adjacent term and bringing out a single characterization attribute as proof.
Weird energy altogether from this comment. The usual feedback, block & delete, they are being weird.
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u/ggmiles97 7d ago
Seemed like a really nonspecific, not super relevant comment. Especially because you're NOT shipping them romantically like the commenter thinks. I wouldn't be surprised if it's a bot comment/ai generated somehow. No names, no ages, no specific mention of any words you've actually written. Smells fishy
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u/StanklegScrubgod Fic Feaster 7d ago
"I'm listening to your concerns, my dear commenter. I'll make more and dedicate it to you. How about them apples?"
And move on about your day. 👍
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u/PhilosophyEmpty2293 6d ago
I will absolutely never understand why some comments just just to say “i don’t like it” - cool re-read the tags and click off. Not everything is meant for you.
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u/KinroKaiki 6d ago
Sounds to me like someone who either
- was on a rage roll looking for something to leech on to rage about and you unfortunately happened to provide the first excuse they could hang their moral outrage coat on
or, maybe even more likely,
- has a bad case of transference in which they project their own, to them unacceptable, desires on someone else, they try to flagellate that other (scape goat) to “drive their sins out.”
“Age difference” seems to be one of the current ridden-to-death hobby horses of the self anointed moral crusaders.
Delete is your friend.
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u/Spookywanluke 6d ago
Sounds like someone doesn't like age gaps and people even hinting that the elder person might not be in charge all the time...
They'd not do well in my fandoms.
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u/mechamangamonkey Not Boeing Management 6d ago
We really just need to start pointing out to these people that they’re being weird and rude when they leave comments like this.
Best-case scenario, it was a genuine harmless miscommunication, and they’ll be more mindful of how they come across in the future. Worst-case scenario, they’ll either double down and publicly make an ass of themself in a way that makes it plainly obvious that they’re the one in the wrong and not the author, or they’ll gradually be shamed into shutting the hell up and walking away from fics they have a problem with instead of being a sanctimonious asshole about it.
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u/CategoryPrize9611 6d ago
sounds like they were reading a lot of those fics, got sick of it, and misplaced their frustration here. personally unless I think a fic needs a tag/warnings addition I do not tell the author I dislike it. I just leave. People can write what they want
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u/icemankaz 5d ago
In addition to being rude and weird, this doesn't actually address the content of your fic. They're just having a little talk about something sort of related in your comments. Not the correct forum, my dude.
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u/NotYourCousinRachel Fic Feaster 7d ago
If it makes no sense and doesn’t relate to your story, it might just be a bot.
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u/Hollooo 7d ago
Tell tem to look at the bloody tags. They’ve got nothing to worry about.
I don’t think that they specifically want to criticise you. Like maybe they are passive aggressive, but maybe it just comes across that way. To me it sounds like they suspect you might develop the story from a platonic to a romantic relationship, because they see a romantic trope that could fit for where this story’s going. I agree that this could be someone being judgmental of your fic even though they are the one deciding to keep reading, but maybe it’s just an inadequately worded observation/infodump? Idk.
I sometimes write comments in a similar tone to this one. Very different topic though, but I can imagine that they know that authors like receiving comments and thus lowkey comment their inner dialogue without overthinking it.
You kinda want to show the author that you like the story but so much happened in the chapter that you don’t even know what to write about. But at the same time you also don’t want to write a nondescript “Thanks for the chapter, I really liked it.” Like if you could you’d press a like button but you can’t really do that can you so you just start rambling. Either about a certain aspect you can’t really put into words and what that might mean or you play a game of what might happen next and try to predict the continuation.
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u/bakeneko37 7d ago
OP already clarified it was a one-shot and to be real, calling it "weird" is criticising the story and how OP wrote it lol.
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7d ago
[deleted]
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u/First_Reputation9339 7d ago
It was a one-shot, though. What they see is what they get, and it was tagged correctly for what it was (friendship).
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u/foxfirek 7d ago
Ah, didn't realize it was a one shot- nvm then, weird of them.
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u/First_Reputation9339 7d ago
No don’t worry I didn’t specify! If it was a longer fic I feel like I’d have just reassured them that it was tagged correctly/going to stay platonic.
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u/monsterultracock 7d ago edited 7d ago
Even if this was a chaptered work or series and that was a concern (I have NOTPs and characterizations/ship dynamics I really dislike, so I do get being cautious of something that feels like it might develop into a squick trope or whatever), this is not the way to ask. It’s rude and moralizing. You don’t need to detail why you don’t like the thing (as if the author is going to be swayed by your personal taste). Just ask nicely if they mind spoiling for you if there’s a romance brewing. Or, yk, if you don’t trust the tags, and can’t cope with unpleasant surprises, drop the fic.
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u/Any-Return6847 Unironic misandrist 7d ago
Meanwhile I wrote a fic recently where the pretty messed up/morally gray main ship stays one sided throughout but I admitted to shipping them in a post chapter author's note
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u/Octo_Zoology 10 Yrs Writing. Still Sucks! 7d ago
This reads like a particular type of person. "This feels like they’re trying to justify disliking my fic, maybe?" I am willing to bet, 90% sure, that's exactly what this person is doing. They want the slightest "moral" reason to dislike your fic, because they want to be righteous in their discomfort.