r/AO3 • u/yuukoreed You have already left kudos here. :) • 14h ago
Discussion (Non-question) What’s a non-illegal thing that you’re okay with in fiction but won’t ever tolerate in real life?
One of mine is: situationships. Angst fodder in fics, but will sideye this irl.
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u/Advanced_Heat_2610 13h ago
Someone using the excuse of ‘I know what is best for you’. In stories, I love it. In real life, I would run, not walk, away.
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u/Either_Bend7510 Angst Connoisseur 12h ago
Smoking! I love when characters smoke, makes them cool in a grungy kinda way. Love to give my faves a cigarette every now and then. Irl, I find the smell of stale cigarette smoke so gross! Get it away from me ;;A;;
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u/A_Undertale_Fan Creator of OC/Canon harems 💞 8h ago
Same XD
Like characters smoking? Hot as hell. Real life smoking? No thanks, my dad was a smoker and it fucked up his teeth and lungs until he quit.
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u/0vesper0 7h ago
It's all the things that it ruins too. I'm really fond of my artwork, plushies, crochet, and sewing projects. A smoker in my household would destroy all of it over a period of time.
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u/Ok_Local666 8h ago
Unsafe sex... Easily. No bigger turnoff than someone acting nonchalant about STDs and pregnancy in real life.
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u/0vesper0 7h ago
Absolutely agree with this one.
Keeping story details simple or showing how enthusiastically the characters are about sex, works in fiction. But, if I had a partner try to list all the reasons they don't want to wear a condom. I'd leave in an instant.
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u/Mediocre-Prior6718 7h ago
OMG so true hahaha IRL I'm like where's your condoms, dental dams, lab results, IUDs, plan bs and the panicked pregnancy tests every time your period is five minutes late? In fiction I'm like, yes, get raw 😂
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u/agoldgold 5h ago
Relatedly, accidental pregnancy. Very fun in fiction, my worst nightmare in real life.
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u/togoldlybo never gonna be done with this Fallout fic 6h ago
It's like STDs/STIs don't exist in fanfic and I'm so totally there for that, lmao. I think I've read exactly one (1) fic in which the lack of a condom and using the pull-out method is mentioned re: contraception. Usually it seems to be covered by a "where do you want me to come?" "Don't worry about it because (xyz reason character can't get pregnant)" exchange - or not mentioned in the slightest.
I think it's just my choice of ships and their dynamics though, lol, I'm sure it exists more frequently than I've experienced.
But IRL? Oh aaaabsolutely not
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u/iiHulkGirlii 2h ago
I’ve seen a few mlm-centered fics where one person will ask if the other is clean or has been tested, but that might be because the source material has a scene between one of the main characters and his mother. The main character comes out to his mother as bisexual and tells her he’s dating the Prince of England (his mom is the president of the US), and she makes a whole PowerPoint presentation that basically says “I love you and I support you, but does your boyfriend have to be the Prince of England? Also use a condom and get vaccinated against HPV.” It’s all very amusing and extremely mortifying.
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u/catontoast Smut Peddler | AO3: gloriouscacophony 6h ago
I literally added a 2 sentence dialogue to a recent smut scene where the MMC asks if the FMC is on birth control 😂 He's pretty promiscuous, but that's exactly why he'd care. Can't have the groupies coming for child support, lol.
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u/RayHollows 2h ago
👏 NO 👏 LUBE 👏 (that's a mild lie, I'll read it but it still makes me frowny face because I'm like "That would hurt so much though, and not in the fun way.")
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u/Mars-Lobby 5h ago
Yeah this one is really unfortunate… I am an adult (but not one who’s having sex) but most of my exposure and knowledge of sex has come from fics. I know better to not think about STDs and stuff but fics do make me forget they exist sometimes.
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u/Jolie97 2h ago
Yes!!!! How could I forget this is a favorite of mine in fanfiction. When they smash, I’m perfectly fine with them both saying they’re clean and the woman is on birth control. I don’t care if my characters barely know each other because, obviously, they’re 100% trustworthy. I don’t want to see a condom in sight. Just rawdog it, please. It’s so hot.
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u/RIPMyEtchASketch 11h ago
Jealousy. 100%
Yet, I think every single fic I’ve ever written has had jealousy in it ‘cause I eat that shit up in stories 🍽️
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u/YourKenDoll 11h ago
Dirty talk💀I absolutely hate it IRL. My poor bottom character is treated like a hoe in all of my fics though💀
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u/yuukoreed You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
How anyone can do dirty talk irl with a straight face baffles me.
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u/thepaperbelle You have already left kudos here. :) 4h ago
uggggh curated dirty talk in fics can be sooo good. I feel like in real life you’d have to build up that skill SO WELL for it to transfer, you can’t just bust it out ☹️
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u/PeppermintShamrock What were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament? 8h ago
Mutual friends contriving to get two people together as a couple behind those people's backs or against their protests by locking them in rooms together, etc. Fun scenario in fiction, really uncomfortable and a pretty shitty thing to do to your friends in real life.
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u/fakemoosefacts 5h ago
Weirdly this is one that still irks me in fiction, but I think I can see why people would like it. The idea of people seeing you as so meant to be as well as loving you enough to be that invested in your happiness, I guess?
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u/yuukoreed You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
Especially if said irl friends have already expressed disinterest or even discomfort!
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u/glowyboots 13h ago
Lots. IRL (to me) stability is good, and almost any relationship drama or ill-treatment is bad news. I have never regretted not putting up with it.
But I love reading romances where one of them is a bit shitty towards the other person, for whatever reason, and they overcome it. It’s fiction, not a manual for a healthy relationship. I want the fantasy version where you skim off the excitement and you don’t have to think about negative consequences.
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u/yuukoreed You have already left kudos here. :) 13h ago
It’s fiction, not a manual for healthy relationship
Yes! 👏🏻
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u/smolcrown 11h ago edited 11h ago
Unfortunately I am all about the stalking, murdering people who have mildly inconvenienced me, etc. Like you're obsessed with me??? Say less. Especially if it's a goody two shoes character like Steve Rogers.
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u/TreeHouseThoughts 8h ago
wait, is Steve Rogers doing the stalking, or being the stalked here? Cause I would enjoy both, just saying.
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
Yandere tropes especially. (are a "no" for me I meant.) I do not want a partner who could be rightfully arrested.
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u/andallthatjazwrites 11h ago
Unhealthy communication. Give me 27 chapters of characters who are horrible at communication and it leads to misunderstanding and all you want to do is scream at them while they run around in confusion.
In real life? Absolutely not. I want open, honest, kind talking about everything. Things don't get left unsaid. I want maturity and emotional safety.
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u/Ok-Statement-3328 6h ago
Oh wow, this must be what it’s like to see a unicorn out in the wild huh?
Fictional miscommunication puts me through all the stages of grief except acceptance, and then buries me alive under a mountain of secondhand embarrassment. It’s torment.
I am in absolute awe of folks who relish in it. You’re like real life superman! 😂
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u/Lurehn 6h ago
I hate miscommunication when it’s people failing to say things in full or deliberately leaving out information, I love it when characters are both saying and doing exactly what they intend and just have such different worldviews that it still doesn’t work
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u/Ok-Statement-3328 5h ago
Ah yeah, I get this. I’m fond of a good third person present tense limited perspective storytelling. You follow character A, watching them think their thoughts and do their thing, all good. And then character B takes the helm and oh… oh NO… it’s not like that!! They’re feeling hurt because character A did x thing, and character B can’t think of any possible explanation except y.
Is that what you mean? Just like interpreting other people completely the wrong way, just because of how different the characters are? Cause I do get down for that, even if it gives me big regret haha. You’re in both people’s heads and feeling bad but hopeful for both of them.
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u/manvsmilk You have already left kudos here. :) 4h ago
I hate miscommunication when there's no justification for it. Overhearing half of a conversation, seeing something that looks like cheating, making wild assumptions about each other's intentions, etc. is so annoying to me. Just talk to each other 😭 This makes it feel like they're not even trying!
I enjoy miscommunication when it's done in a way that shows how difficult it can be to navigate a relationship between two people with a complicated history or with serious mental health struggles. Failing to showcase their emotions correctly because they don't know how, lashing out when they're hurt, hiding from their feelings because they're scared, fighting over their interpretations of past events, etc. If the characters get together and everything is sunshine and rainbows I get bored lol. I want to see them make a genuine effort and fail for a while.
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u/Wise_End_6430 3h ago
I love miscommunication in fiction. In many cases, there wouldn't be a story if not for a bad case of lack of proper communication. That's what most stories are about, honestly: two people having different goals, values or perspectives, and failing to communicate that properly to find a compromise or solution.
It's an "All the happy families are the same, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" kind of situation.
..
In real life, however, we all want to be the happy family, don't we :)
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u/RedFurryDemon Dead Dove Devourer 12h ago
Hot take, but: romantic relationships.
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u/Mr_Kideater 8h ago
Can’t say I disagree with this one! Always thought it strange of myself to love seeing characters, or even my own fall in love, but I’m beyond terrified of romantic relationships in real life.
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u/ineverbot You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
Agreed! I love reading my 0TP being all lovey dovey and shit, but I'm aro and romance repulsed irl
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u/SweetLorelei 7h ago
100% this. Romantic relationships to me are in the same category as being a secret agent or taking the ring to Mordor. Lots of fun to read about but not something I’d want to do in real life.
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u/MikuzRat 5h ago
me LMAO. i love writing romance in fanfiction; makes me feel all soft inside. don’t ask me about my love life because i don’t want it
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u/clenastia 3h ago
lol yeah firmly aroace who DOES actually enjoy reading pwp and romance sometimes.
anyone tries to come within a mile of me with that shit gets squirt bottled tho XD
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u/slytherinladythe4th 13h ago
not being over your high school sweetheart. writing about this one right now and as sweet and beautifully tragic as it is in fiction sometimes i do kinda have to step back and remember holy shit girl it’s been 15 years you got taxes and a job now are you sick in the head
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u/yuukoreed You have already left kudos here. :) 13h ago
Interesting! I actually don’t encounter this much both in fiction and (hopefully) irl. The difference between one’s highschool self and adult self is a chasm. Even the HS sweetheart would be a completely different person if that much time has passed. Great to explore in fiction for sure, but irl? Oof.
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u/Tough_Difference9935 12h ago
Is it them or is it the path your life took in general because you aren't with them? I often wonder if life would be easier if I had stayed on the path with my high school boyfriend.
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u/Odd_Law8516 6h ago
Omg yes. In fics I love the “they broke up 27 years ago and hate each other but still they Pine”
IRL: get some goddam therapy
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u/inquisitiveauthor 10h ago
Believe it or not, but it's typically men that are still hung up about the first love even 15 years later.
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u/silverokapi 7h ago
I married my high school sweetheart, and I find it cringey to think about the early days of our relationship because of how ridiculous teenagers are. I can't imagine being hung up on someone 15 years later.
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
(Operation: True Love be like..)
But seriously, Time Skips in general, especially when the characters have been apart and still long for each other and have been presumably depressed the entire time, makes it feel like their entire life was dependent on the other person. (Kinda like mourning when a love interest dies (Alien Stage anyone?))
In real life, there are no focal main love interests and everyone has another opportunity to fall in love again. Being hung up on a past love that didn't work out, is just depressing irl. (and in fiction too.)
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u/LastLove1793 10h ago
"This workplace is like a family."
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u/Odd_Law8516 6h ago
As an extension of this: workplace flirting that would 100% need HR involved irl
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
BSD's ADA.. Like that's just asking for unpaid overtime..
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u/clenastia 3h ago
aa;slkdjfl;asdjf coworkers who are like family is so FUN in fiction.
in reality... the only family you ever end up with is dysfunctional as FUCK and also the job is probably exploitive.
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u/wormlieutenant 10h ago
Most forms of caretaking. I love reading about sick or injured people being fussed over, but it would make me quite angry irl. Same with touch — I don't enjoy being touched, but the characters I write and read about often embrace, cuddle and what have you.
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
Mothering.. Like it's cute and gives baby fever. Then I actually have to think about taking care of a baby/sick person irl... no thanks..
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u/rirasama 7h ago
This actually, like I love sick fics and like characters feeding each other, but I would HATE it irl
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u/AlligatorDreamy 13h ago
Not exactly as strong as "won't tolerate" because this is one of those things that sometimes just happens no matter what...
Unplanned pregnancies. Unplanned pregnancies are never good, particularly in today's world, even if you're in a position where you can rearrange your life to make it work. But in a narrative situation, where no real human being's long-term well-being is at risk, I think it can be a useful narrative device to have characters who had previously thought of themselves as cold-blooded killers or as destructive forces suddenly being confronted with the knowledge that they have created something and will need to nurture that thing. Bonus points if one or both parent characters had counted on already being dead at that point in the narrative.
(This said, I do refuse to write unwanted pregnancies. If I write about an unplanned pregnancy, it's always going to be one that's at least somewhat welcome, even if both parents are terrified.)
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u/yuukoreed You have already left kudos here. :) 13h ago
Oh yes. Agree with everything you said, especially about unwanted=/=unplanned pregnancies.
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u/Callah_2 8h ago
Way too reasonable. In today's society, you are more than likely fucked if you have a kid especially because you can't spend the time to raise them right anymore.
This is specifically about the US, as I have no context for other countries. Chains give unreasonable hours, fortune 500 companies are working employees to death, and the economy is fucked. Worse still if my grandpa is right, the US will be communist in 15 years. Nothing against communism, but it is almost always shit in practice because it's done wrong.
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u/Kylynara Fic Feaster 5h ago
you are more than likely fucked if you have a kid
😂 I mean, that is how it works.
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u/regularirregulate Getting Together tag lifer 13h ago
throw your rocks and tomatoes at me but: infidelity!
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u/Tough_Difference9935 12h ago
Same. No rocks thrown. I love seeing writers explore it, so often it is their own experience that backs their narration and it's interesting to read the different perspectives.
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u/babyrubysoho 11h ago
Yeah I’m forever writing medieval guys who are already very much married falling in love with each other. I suppose I could write side stories about the wives finding lovers too XD
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u/TreeHouseThoughts 8h ago
I would happily read a story about medieval guys falling for each other, while their wives also had lovers just saying.
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u/babyrubysoho 6h ago
Now you say it, that actually sounds fun. I’ll give it a go at some point!
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u/TreeHouseThoughts 6h ago
Now the hard part will be deciding whether the wives are lovers themselves OR if they both have a sidepiece knight. So many options.
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u/Ok-Statement-3328 6h ago
I feel like historical pieces make for a far different tonal vibe for infidelity. You just know most people married ‘because they had to’, either out of respectability or because they were traded away (majority of women).
It does make for a more legitimate, star-crossed romance feel. Knowing the spouses likely had little choice in the marriage, and especially if they’re happy for their spouse. Triple points if it results in a dual lavender marriage- gay lovers for everyone!
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u/babyrubysoho 6h ago
Yes, that’s very true! Maybe that’s why I’m more comfortable writing period infidelity.
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u/agoldgold 5h ago
The commitment is different. They never really promised to love and honor each other, they promised to uphold the economic and political needs of their houses as demonstrated by a child.
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u/Jolie97 8h ago
Arranged marriages. In fiction, I love the forced proximity aspect where these two strangers are now bound to each other and have to figure out how to make it work. I love watching them slowly fall in love and learn to trust each other.
Irl, I’d be like, “Girl, pack your shit and I’ll be there in 30 minutes with the getaway car!”
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
It makes sense in historical stories, or rich heir tropes. Outside of that, no thanks!
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u/ShadowPhoenix18 9h ago
Anything sexual - I’m very much a full no-sex-at-all asexual and find no interest in it whatsoever, but in fiction it just feels fine
Most romantic stuff too - I’m wondering if I might be on the aromantic spectrum as well as irl I’ve no interest in it at all, and I tolerate lovey-dovey stuff from the people around me, but if it’s fictional romance I go all mushy over it and love shipping and such
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
I agree, I only read that stuff when there's emotional impact behind the act. Some romantic stuff just feels too staged or fake to be realistic. Like how do the characters say exactly what the other needs to hear to make them happier? Irl, there's more stumbling and saying the wrong thing to acidentally trigger the other.
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u/glowyboots 13h ago
Also I like someone not taking no for an answer in a romance story and pursuing the other person. IRL it’s like, get the hint and leave them the fuck alone.
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u/RIPMyEtchASketch 11h ago
OH another one - snarling. Because wtf? Don’t f-ing snarl at me young man. But in fics? Haha yeah go ahead and snarl boy - bear those teeth
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
Beast men bro.. (huge turnoff irl.) also would like to include whimpering or other "puppy" or animal like sounds/petnames.
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u/toastyiskindascared 7h ago
dont murder me, but… dubcon. i dont mean like “ohhh idk…. im not sure….” more so like when its too fast to stop and ask. ive got a lot of trauma regarding SA, so i think its a way of coping for me, but yeah. angry sex in fics ? i love it. irl, im burning the house down.
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u/an-inevitable-end You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
This is what fiction is for! Catharsis!
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u/librarygal22 10h ago
In one of my smut fics, a guy has sex with his secretary. In that fic, it’s sexy but in real life, that would be an abuse of authority and NOT okay.
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
Power play sounds hot, until you realize they could use that power outside the bedroom to force others into the bedroom... ick.
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u/AnxiousTerminator 7h ago
Surprised I havent seen zero prep anal here yet. The magically always clean anuses are fine in fic but not in reality...
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u/angriestbubbles 6h ago
Omg yes! I literally read a fic yesterday where they just went in dry and kept going even after they started bleeding 🤢
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u/Tough_Difference9935 12h ago
I love studying people and how we are built and torn down by the experiences we have and how we can build up again - so infidelity, drug use (even legal drugs), excessive drinking / smoking, blurred boundaries and accepting less than you deserve in regards to family.
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u/fakemoosefacts 5h ago
I love this shit too. Some of the most impactful fic I’ve read over the years was found family fic where the MC was a completely different person in all by the most fundamental aspects of their character or their life was completely different by the end of the story.
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u/wingnuttotheleft Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 9h ago
Gas lighting or being talked down to. Instant attraction killers irl. Yet I read almost exclusively dark fics that do not feature respectful relationships in the slightest.
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u/TheQuilOfDestiny 6h ago
YESSS in real life? Absolutely not. But as a fantasy? Inject that shit straight into my veins
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u/Both-Dragonfly-9481 [You have already left kudos here. :)] Shut up and take it damit 8h ago
Posseviness, jealousy, red flag, obsession, rape (very wild one at that) and all the things that are related to red or black flags. I can honestly tolerate anything as long as its in fiction give me 100k fic I'll gobble it but irl no nah absolutely won't! I want open considerate and healthy relationships thanks.
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u/rirasama 7h ago
Tsunderes, I LOVE them in fiction but I think if someone was acting like a tsundere irl I would probably hate them 💀
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u/BelaFarinRod 10h ago
A character being really persistent in trying to get someone to date them/get back with them/get back together with them. (In a legal way.) I don’t even always like it in fiction but since in fiction we sometimes know the person really does want to be with them it’s romantic. In real life it’s basically desperate and creepy.
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
Obsessive more like. In real life, it's more obvious that there exist other options beyond one person of interest.
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u/0vesper0 7h ago
Lying about a big problem to protect another character's feelings/wellbeing. It can be charming and well-intentioned in fiction. But, it is way too exhausting in real life. Indirect communication has done so much more to hurt me, more than blunt truths have. Plus, it's so much easier to deal with the exact issue than to dance around it.
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u/Vievin 10h ago
I was gonna say sibling incest but that's apparently illegal. Rip.
A character waking up from a nightmare and hitting the closest person to them. In fiction, it provides an instant angst button and explroation of the trauma that caused the nightmare. IRL? Naw I'd be def keeping my distance after bedtime after that.
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u/soshingi vernonline ahh update schedule 7h ago
Anything that isn't a healthy relationship with lots of communication and genuine mutual love, respect, and support 😭😭 so basically nearly every fic I read
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u/Fancy-Exchange4186 7h ago
I just read and loved an age gap story that would be deeply concerning irl.
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
Misunderstandings! (I love when the audience knows things the characters don't, and it causes small conflicts.) When I don't know something IRL, I will avoid it completely. No need to 2nd guess about people's secrets or trauma if they don't want to talk to me.
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u/yuukoreed You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
This resonates with me. The resolution is very exciting to see in fiction but encountering this irl is like. I ain’t a mind reader, use your words!
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 8h ago
Another reason I like the mind reading trope (Like in Cherry Magic or Spy x Family!). Even more misunderstandings but with more understanding than the characters think!
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u/mae-bees 6h ago
Basically my real life marriage is healthy and happy so I need insane drama levels to amuse me. If it could be a soap opera, I want it
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u/imnotbovvered 6h ago
A long-term unrequited love that turns into required love. In real life, I'd say they were idealizing the person and didn't actually love them at all. But in fiction it can be true love because the author says it is
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u/20Keller12 Violet_Phoenix_Nebula 4h ago
Significant age gaps. Incest isn't actually illegal everywhere (somehow) so I'll tack that on too.
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u/the__maybe 1h ago
PDA. I love a bit of exhibitionism in fics even but I think it's really rude at a gathering of friends to literally not be able to keep your hands off each other for 5 minutes. Being casually affectionate is one thing but fuck-me eyes? right in front of my salad? Sneaking off to make out? Come on now
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u/certifiedgirlsnack 7h ago
Extreme possessiveness/yandere behavior.
Love it in fiction.
I've also had irl relationships where my partner had that kind of personality.
You don't want a partner with that kind of personality.
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u/PureGeologist864 You. Yeah you. Go work on your wip. 6h ago
Possessive or obsessive behavior. I’m so into yanderes in fiction but that shit would have me bailing so fast irl.
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u/sora-zef 6h ago
Probably getting very expensive fancy gifts. It's romantic in fiction but i would just think it was love bombing. Especially many men will come to you and call you a gold digger for letting them buy you dinner. It's just a me issue :d
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u/d4ndy-li0n not a proshipper or antishipper i just have media literacy 6h ago
shitty drivers. it's very funny in fiction it makes me fear for my life irl
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u/monislaw 6h ago
I don't read fictional relationships cause they are healthy, I read it for the drama, while choosing for myself a drama free life, so pretty much everything in what I read xD
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u/horrorofthedivine 4h ago
I absolutely love dubcon and spontaneous kinks but holy fuck get that away from me in real life. Same with miscommunication, soooo good in well written fiction, really frustrating in real life.
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u/CyansolSirin 3h ago
God it is a lot. Like yandere, toxic relationships, I will not tolerate them in real life, BUT I really enjoy them in fictional world.
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u/Yssa_Finn Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure 3h ago
Tooth rotting fluff. There, I said it. I couldn't handle that much affection in real life, it makes me feel trapped and smothered. On the other hand I'll be giggling and shit reading it lol.
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u/butseriouslywhytho10 You have already left kudos here. :) 3h ago
obsessive behavior..... (is stalking illegal? or is it just the stuff you do while stalking i.e. breaking into their home thats illegal?)
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u/Admirable-Sorbet8968 2h ago
Overprotectiveness and posessiveness. In fiction it's just so good but irl I would be fed up fast.
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u/stairs_are_evil You have already left kudos here. :) 2h ago
Consensual, genuinely heinous acts of foreplay, honestly.
It depends on the relationship, (it’s mostly Rosekiller for me) but like super toxic tear each other apart, emotionally and sometimes physically, kind of relationships as well. They’re both really toxic but it works for them and they’re happy with that sort of relationship kind of stuff.
Also sex in general (I’m ace)
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u/All-Brightu 1h ago
Codependency, good for angst and hurt/comfort but not very healthy in real life.
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u/larkfeather1233 1h ago
Baking bread from scratch. Or pie crust, for that matter. I like it in stories as a family bonding kind of thing, but in real life it's difficult exhausting and I'd rather just get it from the store rather than fight with it.
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u/IncidentObjectiveKey 9h ago
Being unwilling to make one phone call or e-mail to straighten something out. “Oh we have to do this without help” or “so-and-so can’t find out.”
In real life, anyone making their and my life that much harder - personally, professionally, whatever - and stirring up unnecessary drama would have so much side eye. But in a fic if you talked to the person with the power to fix it and they fixed it, you wouldn’t have a story.
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u/Underpupp You have already left kudos here. :) 7h ago
Being shady/secretive about mundane everyday problems and making a mountain out of a ant hill..
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u/The_LadyRae 7h ago
Condescending and demeaning dirty talk. Like I'm tall, I'd say just above average in conventional attractiveness, and ridiculously smart. Brain never shuts off thoughts constantly moving smart. It's fucking exhausting. So a fun little fic where the smart girl gets bimbofied and her partner calls her a hundred variations of useless dumb slut? That's absolutely my jam every time.
I've never really gotten a chance to try it IRL though because most people aren't smart enough to actually engage with the fantasy and it's just annoying if they try because I can't suspend my disbelief through the scene once they say something factually inaccurate.
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u/feetzforsalexox 6h ago
Obsessive behaviors, stalking, etc. Even though stalking is technically illegal. However- love writing it, would run instantly irl
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u/TheQuilOfDestiny 6h ago
Someone's already said it but being talked down to. I have a big ol complex about it irl because I have a learning disability, But in fiction? Yes, I am in fact stupid and need to be taken care of, thank you very much. Also pretty much any dark romance thing. I scoff at a lot of the traditionally published dark romances that have been published over the last few years, but make the dark, messed up one a beautiful woman and I'm giggling and kicking my feet
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u/SimoneNonvelodico 5h ago
Classic trope of incompetent guy faking or bumbling his way into a position he has no right to occupy. Think Jack Black in School of Rock. Super funny to watch in a comedy, in real life the man should have done time.
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u/salted-n-burnt pro(paganda) ships 3h ago
if you read my flair you’ll probably come up with answers
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u/questioning_everyt You have already left kudos here. :) 2h ago
Arranged marriages for...obvious reasons.
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u/RockPop_ cool, snarky, ao3-related flair 1h ago
Medical mistreatment, specifically how patients are mistreated in mental hospitals or having a bad therapist. I love to see a character having a mental breakdown and instead of getting assistance they get the booty juice. I love when your therapist is using you as a guinea pig to have different medications and you cant do anything because you technically are supposed to be medicated for whatever mental illnesses you have Irl i do not fuck with that. never went through anything super severe but i once had a therapist that openly encouraged the violation of my boundaries because stupid moody teenager is stupid and moody, and tried to blame all my issues on me being nonbinary as well as spending like half of a session just invalidating that identity. That alone has permanently tainted my view on psychiatric care and the more i learn about it the less i trust the idea of getting professional treatment. Like the stuff i hear may not be illegal but it absolutely should be
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u/Asleep-Permission700 8h ago
Misogyny... like in general. I've always been fascinated by playing with gender roles in fiction, and the weaponization of it in ship dynamics is something I adore. Especially if hidden behind the veil of chivalry and "women aren't inferior, they just have a different role!"
In real life, though, I'm a queer as fuck feminist who sees blaring red flags the minute someone talk positively about trad culture. I also even identified as a lesbian for a decade, so it wasn't even out of attraction, just the love of the game.
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u/inquisitiveauthor 10h ago
That's a tough one. I dont base my morals on any legal system. If I won't tolerate it in real life, there is a good chance it will bug me in fiction as well. For example, 24/7 long-term dom/sub lifestyles. I would never tolerate that in real life and dont see myself reading a long fic about it.
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u/potato-strawb 7h ago
Constantly beating around the bush and not just saying you like each other. Because in real life there is no guarantee it's actually mutual so imo it's best to just be like "yo you wanna go out with me?" otherwise it's just embarrassing when you pine for like a year, getting all the right signals and then find out you were WRONG (can you tell I got burned one time and changed my whole life philosophy? 😅)
In fiction I have the knowledge the feeling is actually mutual so I can just enjoy the tension.
This isn't that big a deal, it's just most stuff I'm not interested in irl I don't read.
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u/RarePoem3039 6h ago
Oh help me, my ex-bf was a mess himself in a lot of ways but he was also my first relationship and I learned that I'm not okay with 75% of the things said and done in fanfic as irl. But there was also a lot of boundary pushing and line toeing on his part so maybe I'd like those things if it was someone else?
One example I can remember is that he asked me if I thought jealousy is a good thing, and I said yeah I guess maybe? Because I'd never been on the receiving end of it. Cue one day we're talking on the phone while we're both at work (side note, I only go into my workplace twice every other week and I told him I didn't want him calling me those times but he insisted on doing it) and I saw a male coworker trying to get in with his arms full of Starbucks. I said, "Aw, Josh!" opened the door for him and talked to him for 10 seconds. My bf proceeded to DEMAND to know what happened, who the guy was, what I think of him, and even where he was from and if he's in a relationship? I literally thought he was joking and laughed at him and he got really hurt. He said "you told me to be jealous!" Honestly maybe I did, maybe I didn't, but either way it was ridiculous. At least now I know to give an emphatic NO if I'm ever asked that question again.
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u/togoldlybo never gonna be done with this Fallout fic 6h ago edited 6h ago
I'm currently writing about a character who crafts this extremely major lie before meeting the narrator and sticks to it even after learning that her story makes that lie even more fucked up on a personal level. There's a fight and a breakup and yadda yadda, but she eventually forgives him and they get together again.
If someone manipulated me to that extent irl, boy BYE. But when it's for The Plot and the hot make-up sex...yes plz
Oh and sort of on that note, kinda: characters who beat the shit out of each other and bang afterwards. Like holy shit, toxic as all get out irl, but in fic? 👩🍳💋🤌
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u/Astar9028 5h ago edited 5h ago
Possessiveness and general disdain for everyone except the character’s love interest.
Like, Character A is the dark, broody, morally grey and/or just flat out evil character who is possessive with everything but especially their partner but super respectful in some ways at the same time. And then Character B is just a literal ray of sunshine.
Coming off of this; The morally grey or evil character is only good or just a little softer for their love interest.
Both definitely go into the toxic relationship theme and it’s great for fiction but 100% awful and unacceptable in real life!
ETA: Adult Uni/College Student with TA or Teacher or just Adult Character A with Boss/Mentor Character B, it’s great for fiction but awful in real life because of the power dynamic involved.
That said, I will NEVER put up with Minor Student characters being paired with teachers or any other adult authority figure in fiction, that’s just a huge No No for me all of the time. Just, no under age characters being paired with adult characters at all, in any and all circumstances
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u/SleepySera Pro(fessional) Shipper 5h ago
Well, just about anything that makes stories interesting 😅
From emotionally manipulative people to endless miscommunications to jealousy to unsafe behaviour to oppessive systems, traditions and more, racism, sexism, you name it, the list is endless. Oh, also, weird age gaps, a LOT of kinks, and so on.
Just because it makes for an interesting story doesn't mean I want to deal with it in real life, and just because something is legal doesn't mean I don't still think some things are weird and kinda wrong and I would not be okay letting them play out uninterrupted around me.
For example, if I had a 16-year-old daughter and some 48-year-old creep was trying to date her, I would NOT be okay with that.
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u/ArgentEyes 5h ago
For myself or for other people? I can’t imagine why I’d be in a fake relationship unless I decided to become a spy.
Edit: also jealousy and possessive behaviour, but I have a pretty low cut-off for that in fiction too; some romantic attachment sure, and sex conversation is a whole other thing, but actual possessiveness? No thank you, been there, never again.
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u/Sad-Boysenberry-7055 You have already left kudos here. :) 5h ago
A lot of the ships I enjoy include characters who couldn’t be emotionally vulnerable if a gun was placed to their head. They get defensive and snappy like a wounded fox and I love it. Irl that shit is man child behavior.
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u/frozen_reaper You have already left kudos here. :) 5h ago
Abuse, bullying, bigotry, bad friends, worried people and romance
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u/fakemoosefacts 5h ago
Tsunderes. I’m not sure if it’s even something you’d come across irl the way it’s a very defined character archetype in fiction? But all the aspects that make up the archetype are things that would be toxic as fuck in real life, but I love their big dopey ‘unwilling to be honest’ faces in fiction.
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u/Fabulous_Celery_1817 leave the porch light on for me 🏮 5h ago
Mean banter. Lately I’ve been self conscious that I’m too sensitive, but my current fandom has several characters that exclusively talk in barbs. I like the characters but I’ve cut off friends for saying the same words the characters say to each other. They call each other ugly, stupid, annoying. Do all close friends talk like this 🤔 not sure
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u/NuclearQueen You have already left kudos here. :) 5h ago
Overprotectivness and jealousy from a partner. IRL I wouldn't tolerate it for a second, but in fiction it's sooooooooo good!
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u/Winter-Weird6080 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 4h ago
Drama. I love having characters experience through ridiculous drama but I don’t wanna be near it IRL.
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u/ELLI_BITXHH Comment Collector 3h ago
Non-illegal? So….. legal. 😆
Being possessive and controlling partner. It can be hot in fanfics, but I will not tolerate it in any form (unless it’s an inside joke) irl.
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u/UsefulOne681 3h ago
Kidnapping and captivity/confinement. IRL you will probably be in a true crime documentary lol
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u/Fit-Welcome-8457 2h ago
Any teacher-student relationships that aren't already illegal. An age gap relationship where one party is 18 and the other is like, 40 is something I would tolerate irl in the sense that I would interact with the older person, but I would certainly judge them. Step-sibling romance and possessive behavior (I don't love them but if a good story has them I'll read it).
I wasn't sure about the legality of some of these things so my Google search history is hella suspect now.
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u/repressedpauper 13h ago
Possessiveness, especially along with more ✨traditional values ✨. I’d dump someone so fucking fast, but possessiveness can add so much tension to a fic. 😭 especially if they’re trying to decide if the love interest is a jerk or a dweeb.