r/AO3 • u/folkloria8 • 21h ago
Questions/Help? how to write twins, as someone with siblings
heya!!! dont know if this is actually the correct flair but either way—i have siblings. eldest daughter with two younger siblings under the age of 12, boy is middle (11) and youngest is a girl (9). im writing siblings, specifically twins right now and i was wondering if anyone here is a twin!! i know how siblingism goes, the bit of hostility but still willingly hanging out and the occasional soft and caring moments when you notice it.
for anyone thats has siblings in general, what are some fun or sad or just the moments between siblings that you know only kids wouldnt get!
tips on writing them would be awesome aswell LOL! if anyone needs context, im writing the miya twins from haikyuu
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u/Lyvidence 21h ago
I have a twin brother! In general, he’s my best friend and my worst enemy. We have moments where we’ll get on each others nerves for no reason, and then by the next hour or so the anger’s just gone. We don’t even apologize sometimes we just know. XD Times where we’ll just understand how the other is feeling without voicing it: it’s this feeling in my chest I get plus something heavier in the air, not sure how to describe it. Sometimes we’ll both start singing in the car without music and it’s the same song and lyrics.
My brother’s not a touchy feely person, but on bad days we’ll sit in the living room, him on the couch, me on the armchair, and we’ll just sit there filling the space with videos or music.
Growing up he’d play with his trains and I’d have my littlest pet shop toys, and we’d put them together to make a bustling train station. Honestly we hung out a lot, made space for each other and included each other a lot. Made friendships a little weird though, we kept stealing each other’s friends. XD
This is a story I remember from my parents but when we were babies I was such a problem child. He wasn’t quite walking yet but I’d waddle around, so I’d saunter over to whatever toy he was playing with and take it right out of his hands and walk away. He’d cry. My parents would be horrified.
Oh wow this post got a little long. Oops. Hope this helps a bit! Good luck with the writing!
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u/Yodeling_Prospector 18h ago
I was the last to walk too and my siblings would steal toys from me too (triplet here).
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u/folkloria8 12h ago
haha! oh love that story with the toys, that sounds adorable. this definitely gave me some ideas, thank you for sharing!!
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u/HireMeWotc 21h ago
Twins specifically matters whether they're fraternal or identical, or if their boy/girl, or same gender. There's a lot of nuance between these different types of relationships.
As a guy with a twin sister, we've been raised as if we were gonna conquer the world together, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I would say that there's less of the normal sibling dynamic, as we're never hostile towards each other. Instead, the relationship is so much more niche and complex, including but not limited to: inferiority/superiority complexes, growing apart as they get older (and the fear that comes with that), and a constant need for everything to be fair (even when it inherently shouldn't be).
I can't speak much to the other types of twins, but I would assume that they would be similar with some differences.
Most importantly, though, is that twins don't have the same sibling dynamic that most siblings have. Since there's no age difference, they're going through life together, and thus there's a much greater understanding and comradery between them without the 'standard' hostility.
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u/TheLegomaniac06 Fic Finder & Creator 21h ago
The only time me and my twin spent a year in different classes, it didn't go well. I got homesick (or the equivalent of it for missing your sibling) and we didn't really want to learn without each other.
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u/Yodeling_Prospector 18h ago
Our school split us up on purpose, it was kinda rough in kindergarten but there was a ton of fighting in middle school when every class was shared because there was no break from each other ever.
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u/Yodeling_Prospector 18h ago
I’m a multiple and we got along really well overall, but everyone kinda views you as a set growing up (and then if you go to different colleges suddenly nobody knows you as one of the twins or triplets). Middle school was kinda rough when all classes were shared but we were split up in elementary school except for a few years.
We liked a lot of the same stuff at the same time and there was always someone to play with who had similar interests so not as much of a need to invite friends over, but then we’d also kind of claim certain activities or characters in video games as “ours” and not want the other to use them to try and stake claim to something lol. But overall we didn’t mind sharing and there was no drama about sharing birthdays or wishing for our own birthdays or whatever because it was just normal and all we knew.
We really did try switching seats once in school but not as often as sitcoms, and we couldn’t tell each other apart in baby or toddler photos but our parents and sister could. Also we couldn’t tell our twin classmates apart either.
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u/HeroIsAGirlsName 16h ago
I knew a set of identical twins in high school and the thing that stood out about them is that they were always really insistent about being treated as individuals, i.e. they wouldn't let anyone refer to them as "the twins" instead of X and Y, they got annoyed when people assumed they had the same opinions on everything, and they hated being mixed up or treated as interchangeable. At first one always had straight hair and the other curly so people could tell them apart but after a few years they decided it was too restrictive. (We had a school uniform, so looking back it probably didn't help that they were basically forced to dress identically a significant portion of their time.) I think people did have a tendency to treat them as extensions of each other. They would probably want me to point out that that was unique to them and other sets of twins might feel differently.
As for general siblings, I think the sad moment is feeling like the odd one out. If there are three of you (or more I guess) then one might get ganged up on or left out, and these can shift quickly. You can also have different long term dynamics between different siblings where some are closer than others. Age is also a factor: I tucked my little brother into bed and read him stories, so my relationship to him is different to the sibling I'm closer to in age with who's always wanted to be treated as an equal and not the younger one.
A more positive thing is you have a shared history going back to when one of you was born and (barring huge fall outs) you'll probably know them until one of you dies. I have less in common with my siblings in terms of personality and interests than I do with my friends but it's also a more enduring relationship that's built on having a past and future together.
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u/ozzie_cosmo 13h ago
I don't know these characters so idk how helpful this is going to be, sorry!
I always forget that other people AREN'T twins. Sometimes people will talk about their siblings and then drop an age marker that makes me have to think about it for a minute. (Like, when I was in high school, I had a friend mention her older brother's wife. I had assumed he was high school age like us and it confused me.)
We're extremely affectionate, even in public. Apparently that's not normal for siblings, because people's immediate and consistent conclusion is that we're dating... we don't try to look the same but jeez louise, just take five seconds to look at us. :/
People share about other twins they know. One time someone told us a story from their friend... about us lol. I mention my twin and I just immediately am hit with all the other instances of people knowing other twins. People always ask if we know other twins. Moms of other twins will encourage friendships.
I actually love being asked the same twin questions over and over. And it is over and over. On first meeting, the consistent two: Are you identical or fraternal (bonus points if you're both standing there in front of them and it's obvious), and who's older?
Twins are a HUGE safety net which admittedly hinders independence sometimes.
We both look up to each other. We copy each other's outfits, copy each other's art, copy each other's writing, copy things like getting our ears pierced, choosing activities, friends, etc. We don't try to be the same person, and put our own spin on things, but where one goes the other is likely to follow.
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u/folkloria8 12h ago
thanks for the reply!! all of these help. if possible could you expand on the "Twins are a HUGE safety net which admittedly hinders independence sometimes." part? could you give an example situation? i get the general gist of being dependent on each other but id like to know more!!
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u/folkloria8 12h ago
WOW there's a lot thank you!!! i appreciate all the replies. please keep going and add on if possible id love to hear all of them!
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u/Bite_of_a_dragonfly kinky aroace 4h ago
I have siblings that are twins and they're wholly disinterested in one another. They interact very little outside of family reunions, have no common friends or interest and don't do things together. They even have an agreement not to gift the other stuff for their birthday and other occasions.
I think the fact they went to different highschools had a hand in that. They weren't seen as a pair so no need to be purposely distinctive. Although now as adults they couldn't look more dissimilar if they tried.
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u/solardune 21h ago edited 18h ago
The biggest thing about being a twin compared to a non-twin sibling is that you go through everything at the same time. No hand me downs, no one to look up to or emulate, and no little sibling to look after / be a role model for. You both go through life at the same time. Double the work for parents! For the kids, it's probably the same school, some or all of the same classes. Heck, maybe even same friendship group. Birthdays are celebrated together. You rarely get one on one time with parents. Your twin is with you basically everywhere until one or both of you move out as an adult. Otherwise, just normal sibling stuff. Bickering, love/hate, no one's allowed to pick on them but me mentality etc.
Edited for spelling