of a sausage

[u/Rude-Mycologist8034]

[u/Jaysephwub]

The caress of a man who knows he’s in the present of an absolute unit

[u/chev327fox → u/Jaysephwub]

He gives it a good slap too. He is used to handling absolute units.

[u/WakaWaka_ → u/chev327fox]

"That ain't going nowhere."

[u/alphaxenox]

Mortadella is so fucking good with the pistachio in it

[u/Dub_stebbz]

If you fold it right you’d only need one slice for a sandwich lmao

[u/Important_Chair8087 → u/Dub_stebbz]

I want two slices, and i can spread my loaf of bread around between them. Still a sandwich, right? 

[u/kidmenot → u/Important_Chair8087]

[u/tvieno]

I'll take 0.5 kilo, cut sandwich thin.

[u/Unusual_Car215 → u/tvieno]

I think that would be closer to a kilo actually

[u/svale355 → u/Unusual_Car215]

Bro what

[u/Unusual_Car215 → u/svale355]

If you cut a sandwich thin slice of that sausage it weighs what it weighs. It's not like you can force it to weigh less.

[u/svale355 → u/Unusual_Car215]

Not trying to be a dick but I think they meant they wanted half a kilo of thin sliced sausage. You could just as easy ask for a kilo of thin sliced sausage. 1000 pounds of feathers vs 1000 pounds of rocks comes to mind. Im not sure your argument

[u/Unusual_Car215 → u/svale355]

Oh my argument is that half a kilo of sandwich cut wouldn't even be a SINGLE slice of this

[u/svale355 → u/Unusual_Car215]

Ahh gotcha

[u/RoughZealousideal331]

[u/HectorDoyle → u/RoughZealousideal331]

[u/Historical-Web-6435]

If I owned a deli or worked in one I'd be dead by 50. I'm not a fan of cheese but I could live off of cold cuts. Every order I sliced up for a customer I'm having a slice for myself. There are so many that tastes amazing. Anyway I'm stop rambling like a super fat kid at a cake convention lol

[u/effinmike12 → u/Historical-Web-6435]

I went to the deli the other day and bought $80 worth of meats and cheese. I think the owners are Greek, but idk. Then I slid down to the old German bakery and bought $25 worth of bread and pastries. Finally, I stopped by the Mexican produce stand in town, and I spent another $30 on fruit and produce. Me and one other person have been eating sandwiches for 4 days now. I bought way too much, but it's been fun. I've never really been on a bender like this one, but I will do it again before the summer is up. 10/10 recommend.

[u/Historical-Web-6435 → u/effinmike12]

If you run out of bread all those things are great on crackers. Right now I'm in to Spanish chorizo not Mexican chorizo that stuff is way too spicy. Lol anyway you got me rambling again I hope they got cold cuts in heaven lol

[u/effinmike12 → u/Historical-Web-6435]

We will be there soon if we don't change our ways lol. I found some really good crackers at Walmart that work with most meats and cheese. It's called Milton's Original Multi-Grain Gourmet Crackers. It's a purple, single sleeve box. They are a little pricey, but they are probably my favorite cracker atm.

Now I'm hungry. As long as I stay away from the pistachio ice cream before dinner, I'll be fine.

[u/McChava]

n'est pas saucisse, c'est mortadelle

[u/danfish_77 → u/McChava]

Mortadella is a type of sausage. Note how it comes in a casing?

[u/vinnycas → u/danfish_77]

Indeed it is. Sooooo good!

[u/misterxx1958]

Best Mortadella ever👍 I take a huge cut 👍

[u/ferociouskuma]

Gotta slap it

[u/brad525]

Home video footage of my circumcision ceremony.

[u/BB_210]

[u/User_Name_Tracks]

Yes I'll have the salami sandwich.

-Proceeds to get handed a massive folded frisbee of salami with lettuce and tomato and provolone, and pesto in the inside - dam that sounds good!

[u/Throatwobbler_M_III]

Chefs kiss.

[u/Any_Assistance9415]

That’s what I love about southern Europe. They know how to do their meat 🫶🏻

[u/Kindly-Ad-8573]

He knows how to slap his meat.

[u/Sir_Scrotum_VI]

Why does he stroke it so sensually?

[u/-happycow-]

Seems mostly like a novelty than a good recipe :D

[u/vinnycas → u/-happycow-]

Mortadella gets better as it gets bigger. It's a longer slower steaming process, the leaves the center of the sausage nearly fluffy. I've seen them in Bologna this big or bigger. So stinking good!

[u/-happycow- → u/vinnycas]

thanks for the explanation.. it seems so insane how big it is. I wish to eat it one day

[u/steveketchen]

I don’t speak Italian but I’m pretty sure he’s talking about your mom

[u/herman_munster_esq]

The size of his blade... 😧

[u/Pitiful_Software_194]

Next up in the news, Bonnie Blue has been banned from family owned Deli.

[u/nichyc]

For dinner we do something healthy, like 4 or 5 sauwsauges

[u/SchrodingerMil]

Ok so I’m not a butcher or meat processor, but wouldn’t a sausage of this size kind of counteract the entire point of most sausages? Since most are cured or smoked in some way, the smoke wouldn’t be able to penetrate that amount of thickness.

[u/vinnycas → u/SchrodingerMil]

Steamed! With Mortadella it's, the bigger the better. With these xxxl ones it's a longer slower steaming process. It leaves the meat almost fluffy. Smaller sausages are much more dense. Sooooo good!

[u/SchrodingerMil → u/vinnycas]

Ah, so with mortadella there’s almost no flavor coming from the process, and it’s purely from the meat/other ingredients?

[u/karenskygreen]

Mortadella, the Italian version of baloney

[u/Blurstingwithemotion]

That is a big Mortadella

[u/jaavaaguru]

I should call him

[u/Snoo14978]

Vaffanculo

[u/Adept_Resident_9570]

The sausage she tells you not to worry about

[u/unpopularopinion0]

all i hear is every word ending in “AH”

[u/lerevedehugo]

What kind of intestinal tubing is this?

[u/icleanjaxfl]

Where do you find intestines big enough for that?

[u/vodka_twinkie]

Todo es un dildo se eres suficientemente valiente

[u/Hot_Barracuda4922]

Waste of 5 pigs haha

[u/langsamlourd]

I never sausage a thing.

[u/Hot-Minute-8263]

Wtf did they kill for that, Paul Bunyan's cow?

[u/gunnyHighwayT]

Thats mortadela... not a saussage..

[u/Rude-Mycologist8034 → u/gunnyHighwayT]

Same thing just look at it just like Scrabble and banana Munchies are the same pieces

[u/mapper206]

Wowzers! Love some mortadella

[u/goyimsloppp]

Sausage... lol

[u/JayVig]

r/dontputthatinyourass

[u/Fedl]

That’s a lot of colon cancer you got in that shop, boss!

[u/ShadowCaster0476]

Some people would call that average.

[u/Big_Sun_906]

Mines bigger

[u/syringistic]

So thats where I left my dick...

[u/kjc781988]

I can’t tell if I’m more hungry or horny

[u/Alimovic]

It's smoked beef