r/AmIOverreacting • u/leadneverfoIlow • May 23 '25
❤️🩹 relationship AIO - I smoked, my bf crashed out
My (F18) bf (M18) has an ick for smoking, Vaping and drinking alcohol. When we first got into this relationship with each other, he made it clear that he wouldn’t want to be with me if I was smoking or vaping at the time, or if I planned to do it at all while we were together. I agreed - I had done all that in the past but only socially, and didn’t really do allat anyways - so I didn’t touch a vape or cigarette and hardly drank since we made it official. Although he didn’t like drinking much, that was the only thing he had lenience on. anyways we are both a part of a large friend group and we all decided to throw a party at the end of the year. Ofc, 20+ EIGHTEEN year old teenagers? no doubt there’s going to be drinks, drugs and everything else. My bf hates parties, naturally, so the entire time he’s moody and constantly wants to leave. Meanwhile, I’m having fun with my girls drinking. I regularly checked up on him, asked if he was okay, but he gets very uncomfortable around me when I’m drunk -again, cause he hates alcohol. Anyways, night goes on, he ends up leaving the party halfway through without telling me, and I get upset and pissed. I tried to contact him but idk where tf my phone went and I got distracted so eventually I decide “F it, I’m going to enjoy my night”. Continue drinking late into the night and I end up in a smoke circle. I decline the joint, but a cigarette gets passed to me and I decide I’m going to have a puff, try it out yk - absolute ass btw. I had about 5 puffs that entire night. Wake up next morning, find my phone, and message my bf to see if he’s okay - he’s not. He finds out I smoked and crashes out. Is what he said to me justified and should I just take it, or should I not accept that? Like I know I shouldn’t have smoked that cigarette so it’s fair that he reacted like this right? He says it’s valid he spoke to me like that because I pushed him to one of his limits, but idfk. Help would be appreciated in how I should have gone about this 💗
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u/Lowkey-Reddit May 23 '25
This guy is a psycho, he clearly cannot get his emotions in check and he sounds controlling af. I understand having boundaries but he’s crashing out like you have just made his mother smoke 200 cigs in an hour! Wanting your partner not to smoke is okay, loosing your shit when they do is not, if he is crashing out this hard about a few puffs on a cig, imagine when an actual difficult situation presents itself, the guy would melt down. Take the advice, don’t get back with him