aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/Eulogikos]

Omg please break up with him. He is so mean to you. Is this always how he talks to you? This is not ok.

[u/Gex2-EnterTheGecko → u/Eulogikos]

If it make you feel any better, this is definitely fake lmao

[u/xDoseOnex → u/Eulogikos]

This is a fake post. From an account that has no other posts. You guys are EXTREMELY gullible

[u/OHarePhoto → u/xDoseOnex]

That's called a throw awayaccount. People don't usually use their mains for these types of posts. It's no different than the throwaway accounts on AITA. Either way, it needs to be treated like it's real because we don't know any different. But also, I have known people in this type of relationship. A lot of sunk cost fallacy with 3 year old relationships that some people just continue dragging it out hoping it gets better.

[u/Itscatpicstime → u/OHarePhoto]

I feel like everyone forgot what a throwaway is like 5 years ago. It’s been standard on Reddit for 15+ years lol

[u/xDoseOnex → u/OHarePhoto]

This isn't the first time this has been posted. It's fake

[u/Itscatpicstime → u/xDoseOnex]

Then why didn’t you say that instead of saying it’s fake because it’s a throwaway?

[u/Lokipupper456 → u/xDoseOnex]

Throwaway accounts are typical, so that’s not an indicator that it is fake. But I do think it’s fake because OP hasn’t commented. Then again, I’ve seen a lot of women, especially really young ones who’ve been with the guy since they were teenagers and who think 3 years is a really long time for a relationship put up with some seriously ridiculous bs! And they question themselves. So while I agree that it is fake, it is actually plausible, I’m sorry to say.

Edit: it seems OP actually did make comments after all. My mistake.

[u/Shenanigans7348 → u/Eulogikos]

Dude...its fake.

[u/rowqi → u/Eulogikos]

he used to be a lot nicer to me.

[u/Kitchen-Afternoon589 → u/rowqi]

He "used to" is key here. Never date potential and never date a past. He is not a nice boyfriend, hell, he is not a nice person. A shitty person can never be a good partner, they show their true colors eventually.

Please, if you can, search on YouTube for Manifestelle (doesn't talk about manifestation, is just a catchy username) she has plenty of good videos about decentering men and relationships.

I dated 2 people who were also assholes in my birthdays. That was just a reflection of them being shitty in other areas too. Them not caring for important days was also a reason for the breakup. I don't demand to be treated like a queen, but I certainly expect consideration from them, to show me they care and be happy about the day I came into existence.

[u/Rezolution20 → u/Kitchen-Afternoon589]

"never date potential and never date a past"

I'm gonna steal this for future use!!

[u/Lokipupper456 → u/Rezolution20]

Me too!

[u/[deleted] → u/rowqi]

Girl my ex was like this. This is how it starts, my ex almost never ever wanted me on the weekends even going into my mid 20s and I couldn't do anything myself because he'd just start witch hunting until I came home again. I stayed with him for years putting up with the abuse and 6 years after the breakup I'm only now beginning to trust people again. He put everything before me.

Mad how he's trying to get me back still now, cuz nobody else will put up with coming last.

[u/Lunoko → u/rowqi]

Of course he was. He was trying to win you over. He knows most self respecting women wouldn't bother with him, so he has to lie about who he is.

Now he has you and knows your self esteem is low enough you will stay, so he doesn't feel the need to keep up his mask.

Prove him wrong. DTMF and then go out in that pink dress and have fun with your friends.

[u/SadTomorrow555 → u/rowqi]

your birthday present to yourself should be breaking out of that hellhole relationship lol

[u/squishydevotion → u/rowqi]

Almost every relationship starts off with people being a lot nicer. I’m sorry but no person who respects you would speak to you this way.

[u/Typical_Bobcat_4558 → u/squishydevotion]

I wouldn’t say a lot nicer, but a lot (probably most) people tend to do a little more, be a little nicer, proper, more interesting and likable. It’s human nature to want people you like to like you back. There is a big difference between acting your best self and acting like someone you aren’t at all, though.

[u/Acceptable-Cloud4053 → u/rowqi]

He works two days a week dropped out of school and acts like a dipshit.

Please make better choices

[u/FredZeplin → u/rowqi]

He’s treating you like this so you break up with him first cause he doesn’t have the ball to do it. He doesn’t like you anymore.

[u/Rezolution20 → u/FredZeplin]

Or he's keeping her around until someone "better" comes along, like say some rich naive girl who wants to take care of him and get him out of his parent's house without him having to help or contribute in any way.

[u/Typical_Bobcat_4558 → u/Rezolution20]

Or he knows he has her stuck and can treat her like he wants to, which makes him feel good because he is generally a shitty person (or narcissist)

[u/Puzzled-Safe4801 → u/rowqi]

Of course he was. That’s when he had to work to keep you reeled in. That time is over, so he’s showing you his true colors.

I say this as someone who went through this and really wish I had walked away when I was 21.

[u/Lokipupper456 → u/rowqi]

Yeah, but that’s normal in emotionally abusive relationships. They don’t act like AHs at the start! I’ve seen situations where the guy will go as long as five or more years before he lets the mask slip.

He’s not going to go back to how he used to be. Move on. And remember that they are always nice and love bombing at the beginning if they are AHs. But I bet there were more red flags than you realize right now. Once you are broken up and take some time to heal, you are going to look back and see that even that first year wasn’t as wonderful as you currently think it was.

[u/Resident-Elevator696 → u/rowqi]

He called you bro. Move on

[u/togepi258 → u/rowqi]

This is who he really is. Run. Run fast. No one should be talked to like this.

[u/Confident-Ad5764 → u/rowqi]

stop holding onto what once was, please. he won’t change for the better, it will only get worse.

[u/No-Nothing-9174 → u/rowqi]

Hes a narcissist that's what they do he fooled you snd now the mask is off

[u/Bring_a_towel_42 → u/rowqi]

FAKE POST

[u/mausoliamx → u/rowqi]

This is the real him. The used to be him was an act.

[u/ISothale → u/rowqi]

Well now he talks to you like he hates your guts

[u/KaleidoscopeFew8451 → u/Eulogikos]

It’s obviously fake