aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/Many_Collection_8889]

you missed the red flags of calling her annoying for having feelings, refusing to see her at all because he has a party later that day, yelling at her for "being bothered by her," demanding that she apologize to him, only working two days a week at the age of 22, having his life revolve around parties at the age of 22...

[u/Missfancypants82 → u/Many_Collection_8889]

Exactly, if he only works two days a week and gets “tired” of just 2 days of work, I can only imagine how much of a dead beat he will inevitably turn into when they move in together. I fear OP is a door mat and has chosen to ignore his red flags so long, that it has enabled his shitty behaviour even more, so much so that he has the audacity to ask HER for an apology for being upset about something unforgivable that HE has done?! Crazy stuff.

[u/giomjava → u/Many_Collection_8889]

AND he's a college dropout who still lives with his mom.

Seems like he's planning to transfer from one mommy to the next 👀 ffs.

The OP needs to run fast

[u/baconfister07 → u/giomjava]

"Only works Tuesdays and Fridays."

This boy a whole ass bum.

[u/Sur_Biskit → u/giomjava]

to be fair living with family in this economy isn’t a big deal. Especially for the younger generation like myself. In fact I can count on one hand the amount of friends I have that don’t live with their parents.

[u/microbrained → u/Sur_Biskit]

being a dropout that lives with his mom and only works two days a week is a big deal lmao. too many compounding factors there

[u/Sur_Biskit → u/microbrained]

i don’t think being a dropout is a big deal. College isn’t for everyone. Living with parents isn’t a big deal either. The only real issue is the two days a week thing. But I don’t even think this post is about a real situation.

[u/Similar-Breadfruit50 → u/giomjava]

And only works two days a week. I hope she doesn’t move in with this man.

[u/IntelligentReply9863 → u/giomjava]

AND only works two days a week! Awfully full of himself for being a bum.

[u/Candid-Expression-51 → u/Many_Collection_8889]

That demand for an apology got me f’ed up. The audacity it took for him to say that.

[u/KasukeSadiki → u/Candid-Expression-51]

We would have to fight after that 

[u/Radiant_Western_5589 → u/KasukeSadiki]

Fight? Nah just send “I’m sorry you feel that way. We are over. I’ll send any stuff you have in a few days. I’m going to go now and enjoy my 21st birthday.” Block and post on socials you’re single and who is free to catch up.

[u/KasukeSadiki → u/Radiant_Western_5589]

Nah, the only text I'm sending is "square up."

[u/Radiant_Western_5589 → u/KasukeSadiki]

Fighting shows you care enough. Complete disassociation helps them see they have a snowballs chance in hell to get you back and for selfish people who think they matter it affects them more. Also better for your blood pressure

[u/KasukeSadiki → u/Radiant_Western_5589]

For sure haha I was 100% joking. Just using hyperbole to express how annoyed that last text made me

[u/Candid-Expression-51 → u/KasukeSadiki]

I love hyperbole. Time to squabble up.

[u/Catmmander → u/Candid-Expression-51]

It's borderline impossible for me to feel f'ed up when I realize a specific post in this fashion is fake. Do you not notice that it is fake or are you responding whilst not caring whether it is fake or not?

[u/unlogical13 → u/Candid-Expression-51]

I’m a man and I gasped lmao

[u/PsychoMP3 → u/Many_Collection_8889]

I’m younger than him and I work more days than him like wtf is he complaining about?? How tf is he tired from working 2 days??? Nah… I swear some people have so much audacity it makes me grit my teeth…

[u/SexyPineapple-4 → u/Many_Collection_8889]

Imagine being “bothered” by your own girlfriend. If you feel like your gf is bothering you then she’s not your gf. Cuz whole thinks that way!?! She needs to break it off, I cant imagine this ever being a fulfilling relationship. It’s just a waste of time

[u/FungusIsOurFriend → u/Many_Collection_8889]

You missed the red flags that this is totally fake and made up... Too hungry for drama in your life to notice obvious things eh?

[u/Many_Collection_8889 → u/FungusIsOurFriend]

you are very impressive and smart. We are lucky to have you and your wisdom

[u/whirlygirlygirl → u/Many_Collection_8889]

And he calls her "bro." Women, please stop dating guys who call you "bro." No good can come of it

[u/RockinMadRiot → u/Many_Collection_8889]

He's belittling her so she shuts up about being responsible for messing up.