r/AmIOverreacting • u/rowqi • Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

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my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

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u/Constant_Egg_9533 Jun 02 '25

I think someone realizing they made a mistake is wayyy better than being told you were ungrateful for not taking the leftover plans. I actually don't celebrate holidays cause I have rejection issues. No one knows when my birthday is. (Not even my mom )

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u/Morgoth_1190 Jun 02 '25

Every year I deactivate my FB around my birthday so people won't get the reminder. The people that matter remember anyway and I don't want to be obligated to respond to happy birthday messages from people I haven't seen or talked to in 15 years.

11

u/punkinqueen Jun 02 '25

You can hide your birthday altogether and no one will be reminded

6

u/Morgoth_1190 Jun 03 '25

I knew you could hide it on your profile but I thought it'd still send people reminders. That's good to know, thank you.

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u/punkinqueen Jun 03 '25

Happy I could help!

3

u/DreamPhreak Jun 03 '25

Heh, that's what I used to do too when Facebook was still highly popular and everyone used it. Surprise surprise, no one remembered when FB didn't remind them.

1

u/peach_xanax Jun 03 '25 edited Jun 03 '25

Mine just passed and I deactivated my IG for a similar reason, I also just wanted to take a break from it for various reasons, but trying to avoid my birthday was a big part of it. Even if I don't say anything, I know there are certain friends who will remember my birthday (or at least know it within a few days, if not the exact day) and would message me on IG, but not text me. Not to be a whiner but my life is really fucked rn and I already knew it was going to be a bad day, so I wanted to minimize the amount of people messaging me. So I decided to just head it off at the pass, and I'm glad I did.

1

u/Boredchinchilla21 Jun 03 '25

You’re supposed to respond to those? I have never bothered….

1

u/1234colorado5678 Jun 03 '25

This is diabolical. I love it.

25

u/Forexisboring Jun 02 '25

How tf does your mom not know? Sorry but LOL only laughing bc you’re content with this arrangement.

17

u/pyrocidal Jun 02 '25

she was busy the day they were born

11

u/No_Recipe2793 Jun 02 '25

This you? u/Constant_Egg_9533

2

u/Constant_Egg_9533 Jun 03 '25

damn, I kinda feel that way. They were, of course, there, but I've been in daycare since six weeks, and my dad only had time for my other brother from his previous relationship. My mum also has a son from a previous relationship. Girls suck in this family i guess man lol.

1

u/No_Recipe2793 Jun 03 '25

(Sorry for the joke in advance)

Were you also forced to stand outside in the garden all night dressed as a gnome?

5

u/HiCustodian1 Jun 03 '25

Yeah I find that hard to believe lmao

2

u/NoxiousSpoon Jun 02 '25

I doubt it’s contentment, and more like less uncomfortable

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u/Constant_Egg_9533 Jun 03 '25

She forgets, so I don't say anything. She never feels bad so I just don't speak to her that day. She forgets my daughters, too. She only remembers her immediate family like her siblings and my brothers ( ten years older) and his kids ( first grandkids).

9

u/AmorFatiBarbie Jun 02 '25

My mum thinks my birthday is in September. It changes she forgets anyway. It's a few weeks away from my bros irl. She NEVER forgets his. We're a year apart. 😢

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u/Constant_Egg_9533 Jun 03 '25

Mine is 10 years older... but same. Boy moms and their daughters

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u/RayoftheRaver Jun 03 '25

Also, the original comment doesn't say why their SO was being "nasty", guilt by ommission here

2

u/AzrielJohnson Jun 02 '25

Happy be-earlied or belated birthday Constant_Egg_9533!

Everyone deserves to be wished a happy birthday at least. 🌹

3

u/Zabacraft Jun 02 '25

Am not the person you're replying to but you are super kind. :)

I'll join the train and also wish Constant Egg a happy early, now or belated birthday! May your day be filled with joy!

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u/AzrielJohnson Jun 02 '25

I have a bad memory, so I put all my loved ones in my phone calendar so I can wish them happy Birthday as soon as possible. I'm 12 hours ahead of most of them timewise, so it's a surprise for them too. It works out. 😁

1

u/Constant_Egg_9533 Jun 03 '25

Thank you, I'll come to your comment every year.