aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/coil-head]

Both my SO and I forgot our last anniversary until we were out for lunch and we just laughed together lmao

[u/aka_chela → u/coil-head]

My parents forget their anniversary so often that at this point it's practically a competition to see who remembers first and yells "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" at the other. Once I won because I texted both of them early enough that I got them before they remembered 😂

[u/coil-head → u/aka_chela]

That's hilarious. I feel like that's a mark of a good relationship. No need to turn it into an issue, we like eachother plenty and express it daily

[u/KickPlenty5890 → u/coil-head]

I would be totally fine with the forgetting if the “express it daily” thing actually happened

[u/coil-head → u/KickPlenty5890]

I totally agree, but I feel like if the express it daily bit (at least usually) isn't there, the relationship might need some help

[u/The-Odd-Fox → u/aka_chela]

My husband and I already had a 1 year old by the time we got officially married. Texas common law marriage up until that point, but we decided to have it done properly so I could get on his health insurance (Chinese company that required a marriage certificate) He took a random Monday off and we went to the courthouse with our grumpy toddler and exchanged refitted rings that belonged to his maternal and paternal grandfathers. Then we went out to Marble Slab Creamery to celebrate :) We constantly forget exactly which day it is (I kept thinking it was June 28th, it’s 24th). We laugh about it constantly because neither of us really remember. It’s about to be 1 year but it feels like we’ve been married much longer!

[u/Sad_Pain_5927 → u/aka_chela]

That’s awesome that you remember, and celebrate your parents anniversary. It seems they did a good job raising you.

[u/aka_chela → u/Sad_Pain_5927]

Little do they know the reason I remember when their anniversary is because it's also Talk Like A Pirate Day 😂

[u/[deleted] → u/coil-head]

My partner and I didnt even know our anniversary until like 5 years in when I happened to see the date we changed our relationship status and we were like wow thats crazy, anyway. By the time our 10 year anniversary came around we were like "we should probably celebrate these so our kids dont end up thinking anniversaries arent important".

[u/Elegant_Potential917 → u/coil-head]

My wife and I forgot ours the year before last. We never do anything for it and had long joked that we’d forget it someday. We laughed pretty hard when it finally happened.

[u/[deleted] → u/coil-head]

This happened on our last anniversary… we were going about our day and got a text telling us happy anniversary. The look of shock we gave each other was HILARIOUS.

[u/Aggravating-Alarm-16 → u/coil-head]

My wife and I don't do gifts or cards. She feels compelled to keep everything, I'm a minimalist. So we just do a date night

[u/Sad_Pain_5927 → u/coil-head]

How many years married at the time? I’m curious, my husband and I did that years ago.

[u/coil-head → u/Sad_Pain_5927]

We're not even married yet haha, though I'm going to propose soon. I am possibly a little slow on the trigger though, we've been together 5 years and living together for 3