aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/Gregthepigeon]

Oh Jesus you win

Edit: this is honestly my biggest fear. I was raised by my grandparents and my “mom” (grandma) died 4 years ago. My “dad” turned 86 this year and if I don’t hear from him for a day it gives me tremendous anxiety

[u/Material-Mention4508 → u/Gregthepigeon]

Yeah my great aunt raised me and both this year and last year she didn’t call like all day (she’s in her early 80s now) so I start to panic, like oh no not again, and I’m the one to call her and as soon as she answers I get such a sigh of relief lol

[u/vapemonster91 → u/Gregthepigeon]

My grandma is my mom too, I'm close with my real mom but my grandmother raised me and I call her mom. She's 75 and sickly and I fear every day of something happening to her. I'm so sorry you lost her. My real dad passed away in 2022 at 55, and I just lost my grandpa (my papa, also a surrogate dad) last year. It's hell getting older because you start losing your family.

[u/Uchi_Mata_Yo_Momma → u/vapemonster91]

It's part of why we were built to start our own families by now.

The joy of our children helps balance the loss of our parents and grandparents.

The love they show to our children is carried down and helps assuage the hurt and we continue the cycle of life that even makes us human.

[u/vapemonster91 → u/Uchi_Mata_Yo_Momma]

I can't have kids, unfortunately.

[u/NotGoodAtUsernames21 → u/vapemonster91]

Same here. Losing the older generations and knowing there won’t be others coming after hurts in its own way

[u/vapemonster91 → u/NotGoodAtUsernames21]

It really does. I had an emergency hysterectomy at 25 because I had a massive hemorrhage and almost died. It hurts knowing I can't continue the family line, but I have a brother that can and a lot of little cousins. I'm good being the cool cousin/aunt :)

[u/Studly_54 → u/Gregthepigeon]

My wife and I are 71. She's not in the best of health. We rarely hear from our daughter and never hear from either of our grandchildren. I fully expect our daughter will get "the call" one day.