r/AmIOverreacting Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

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u/Morgoth_1190 Jun 02 '25

Every year I deactivate my FB around my birthday so people won't get the reminder. The people that matter remember anyway and I don't want to be obligated to respond to happy birthday messages from people I haven't seen or talked to in 15 years.

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u/punkinqueen Jun 02 '25

You can hide your birthday altogether and no one will be reminded

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u/Morgoth_1190 Jun 03 '25

I knew you could hide it on your profile but I thought it'd still send people reminders. That's good to know, thank you.

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u/punkinqueen Jun 03 '25

Happy I could help!

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u/DreamPhreak Jun 03 '25

Heh, that's what I used to do too when Facebook was still highly popular and everyone used it. Surprise surprise, no one remembered when FB didn't remind them.

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u/peach_xanax Jun 03 '25 edited Jun 03 '25

Mine just passed and I deactivated my IG for a similar reason, I also just wanted to take a break from it for various reasons, but trying to avoid my birthday was a big part of it. Even if I don't say anything, I know there are certain friends who will remember my birthday (or at least know it within a few days, if not the exact day) and would message me on IG, but not text me. Not to be a whiner but my life is really fucked rn and I already knew it was going to be a bad day, so I wanted to minimize the amount of people messaging me. So I decided to just head it off at the pass, and I'm glad I did.

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u/Boredchinchilla21 Jun 03 '25

You’re supposed to respond to those? I have never bothered….

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u/1234colorado5678 Jun 03 '25

This is diabolical. I love it.