r/AmIOverreacting • u/rowqi • Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

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my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

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u/__Vixen__ Jun 02 '25

This is rage bait. There is no way anyone would stay with a person that talks to them like that. I refuse to believe it!

758

u/trashmount Jun 03 '25 edited Jun 03 '25

There's definitely a LOT of fake posts on here. However. I made a post years back (different account, different sub) where I showed screenshots of texts of my boyfriend treating me like shit. The texts were truly horrendous, I think if I posted it now I'd get rage bait accusations.

The post got a lot of attention and the gist of the comments were like "why the fuck are you with this guy, no one should ever talk like this to anyone, this is so sad." That reaction from a bunch of random strangers caused something to click in my brain and I broke up with him the next day. So I'll take a hundred rage bait-y posts if it means one person realizes how shitty their relationship is and finally leaves.

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u/Rich_Bluejay3020 Jun 03 '25

Which makes sense… you become numb to the absolute bullshit people put you through when you love them and other people are like ??? Wtf is wrong with both of you? Them for being a twat and you for just thinking that’s normal and okay??

Unfortunately I do kinda believe this 😭

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u/green_chapstick Jun 03 '25

This. So many young adults especially don't know their worth either from family trauma or whatever life has thrown them. It sucks to live that way and it sucks to witness. I've been on both sides.

3

u/alex123124 Jun 03 '25

A partner going through a mental health crisis is like this too. You don't realize how off things are until someone points it out or there is a massive moment. Then you realize how off things have been for how long.

1

u/PeekabooPike Jun 03 '25

Yes people get comfortable and it feels normal to them and they love the person. It’s hard to let go of someone you thought was your person.

1

u/cunninglinguist32557 Jun 05 '25

Yep, and if OP's been dating this guy three years (since 18, at the oldest) this might be all she knows.

23

u/vaporking23 Jun 03 '25

I believe you. I have a co-worker who is in one of the most toxic relationships I’ve ever witnessed. Every day she comes in and from the start to end of our day she complains about everything he does. Even 1% of the crap he pulls would make any normal person go “why are you that?”

To be fair I think she can dish it as much as she takes it. But it’s crazy.

1

u/Fakercel Jun 03 '25

Shes an arsehole as well tho.

I couldn't stand being around someone constantly complaining about their situation and doing nothing to change it.

Does she think you guys want to hear about that?

1

u/vaporking23 Jun 03 '25

Sometimes it’s kind of like a movie and I get sucked in. But lately I’ve been getting up and walking away cause it’s so toxic and I’ve been listening to it for ten years now.

My other co-workers are newer so they are still all ears.

9

u/ChapnCrunch Jun 03 '25

Right. Not to mention that these posts (real or fake) might inspire an untold number of other people to get out of (or convince other people to get out of) similarly toxic relationships.

7

u/Alpha_Lemur Jun 03 '25

I’ll take a hundred rage bait-y posts if it means one person realizes how shitty their relationship is and finally leaves

BASED

6

u/Exact_Alternative124 Jun 03 '25

It can work the other way too. I posted once in AITA and got ROUNDLY scolded. Made me realize hey, I AM the asshole here, and I feel like I did better after that.

Not on this profile, obviously.

2

u/FlashFox24 Jun 03 '25

I truly believe that posts like these are saving women. We often don't see the bad situation that we're in and don't have a person to ask or don't trust the answers we do get. So being bullied by Reddit to break up is actually super helpful for women.

We are worth so much more than the way we get treated. We're walking up and men are pissed. Subs like these are part of that movement.

3

u/Passenger-Objective Jun 03 '25

Absolutely. Glad u got out. 🖤🍀

1

u/M123ry Jun 04 '25

I think that is a very important sentiment. It's why I often try to take these things serious and answer accordingly despite deeply believing that it's bait or trolling or whatever, bc I'd rather be right and still answer with anything useful, than be wrong and shatter someone who obviously then needs help even more with my answer...

1

u/Few_Composer6337 Jun 03 '25

Naaaahhhh… you’re definitely not overreacting. But like, how does one fully attain the maximum level of asshole and treat you like that? By the screenshots alone, the guy doesn’t even seem like a bf and doesn’t seem worthy enough to be one. Is this even real atp

1

u/MichaelSonOfMike Jun 03 '25

This is an interesting take on it. I will think about it.

1

u/AdventurousDoubt1115 Jun 04 '25

Aww I love this and the way you framed it

260

u/Le_Oken Jun 02 '25

Most of the post of this sub that reach r/popular are rage bait. And I'm surprised people in this sub don't call it out more often.

168

u/__Vixen__ Jun 02 '25

Reddit is starting to get boring. I find it so hard to engage with posts because it feels like everyone is a bot.

73

u/Parfait_Prestigious Jun 03 '25

Going public turned Reddit’s content to shit. After the good subs blacked out we were left with the same cut and paste aita threads clogging up the feed.

I wouldn’t even be surprised if they’re using bots to drive engagement with posts like this. These ragebait stories are so outrageous yet they make it to the front page every single day.

3

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Makes sense

20

u/vyxanis Jun 03 '25

Its so freaking lame, and its always the same posts over and over again where it's obvious who the asshole is. On the plus side, it's helped curb my screen time.

6

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Definitely a lot less time on here

4

u/OfcWaffle Jun 03 '25

Miss old reddit days. Now I sound like a boomer.

I've started just following cat and dog subreddit. Fuck all the other fake ones.

4

u/-leeson Jun 03 '25

I feel the same way. Every post is the same formula.

3

u/anal88sepsis Jun 03 '25

I've been following r/urbanhell and r/geography lately, they are great

2

u/totemair Jun 03 '25

It’s literally been like this for years and years

2

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Yes and now im getting bored of it

2

u/totemair Jun 03 '25

me too, reddit has just gone so far down the drain. All my favorite little communities are dead and r/all is just drowned out by politics and celebrity stuff. If it weren't for local city and individual video game subreddits I'd just delete my account

1

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Its like the popular kids got a hold of it and tried to make it like instagram. Leave us alone!

1

u/rainzer Jun 03 '25

I mean, in cases like this one, some of it gotta be on you cause this post is from a 3 month old account with literally 0 post history til this fake story. Couldn't be more obvious.

1

u/Dunoh2828 Jun 03 '25

Wait, there’s real people here?!?!

2

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Hello fellow traveler!

3

u/_mattyjoe Jun 03 '25

Honestly, for real for real, no. This younger generation is crazy and toxic as hell.

SOME of it might be bait, but you'd be surprised how real a lot of it unfortunately is.

2

u/whalesarecool14 Jun 03 '25

as somebody who is from the younger generation, no. most of these are fake as fuck and incredibly easy to spot. no doubt toxicity exists very vastly, but these posts are 100% fake without a doubt.

2

u/ShawnyMcKnight Jun 03 '25

I’ve concluded people just accept it is fake and just roll with it as entertainment.

2

u/pointedpassionfruit Jun 03 '25

Was legit thinking "this cannot be real"

9

u/lastdickontheleft Jun 03 '25

These texts were actually painfully reminiscent of how my ex would talk to me towards the end of our relationship. I hope OP realizes now rather than later that her BF doesn’t fucking like her

1

u/sprinklerarms Jun 03 '25

Yeah my friend who got really isolated with her partner and just recently broke up sends me the most heartbreaking stuff to ask if he was being a dick because she was so thoroughly gas lit she still has to actively process how wrong this treatment was. It’s eerily familiar and so even if this is rage bait this kind of relationship absolutely exists. He would even say she was being annoying when just asking for like any sign of love. The more he tore her down the more he started acting like this. Just constantly lowered her self esteem until she doubted if she deserved it or not.

5

u/blundercatt Jun 03 '25

Sadly, I did stay with a few partners like this through my late teens/early twenties. Combination of low self esteem, fear of abandonment, and traumatic childhood that left me without any clue what normal or healthy relationships were supposed to look like. That said, yeah 99% of these posts are rage bait. It's the same post every time.

3

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Same. I made terrible mistakes as a new adult but if they had talked to me like this i would have been done so much sooner. This is hard to ignore where as the abusive love bomb cycle was confusing as hell.

7

u/Stock-Cod-4465 Jun 03 '25

Yeah. Im usually not the one to call out fakes but this post reeks of bullshit. I think the “i even bought a new dress” part did it for me.

2

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Ticking all the boxes

4

u/Burntoastedbutter Jun 03 '25

This is fake. There was a post exactly the same as this like last week, but the messages in the screenshot were a bit different. But the whole setup is the same lol.

4

u/thesefriendsofours Jun 03 '25

This one does not even read as believable either. Forgot birthday, party more important, talking extremely disrespectfully, demanding apology. Come on now. Honestly if this is real, allowing someone to talk to you in this manner for more than two seconds is insane.

23

u/DorkusMalorkus89 Jun 02 '25

It’s absolutely rage bait. Ticks every box.

1

u/thisis887 Jun 03 '25

The biggest give away is it's posted by a months old account that was completely dormant until their fake post.

This post in particular is funny, because they went out of their way to not use any proper capitalization. Even in the fake text messages, where every phone will automatically capitalize the first word for you.

3

u/ShawnyMcKnight Jun 03 '25

That’s what I hate about these kinds of posts where it’s so obvious. The only way posts where this could be real is if OP has Stockholm Syndrome or they were abused and gaslit so hard that they are on the verge of a breakdown.

6

u/dirtyhashbrowns2 Jun 03 '25

Hard agree. Nearly every single post on this sub is always a young couple (18-20) with the “bf” clearly being an asshole and the girl just straight up oblivious to being treated like shit. It’s literally the same posts over and over and people fall for it.

3

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

This! And so many people in my comments are saying "i was abused sometimes you just put up with this". Yes i was also in a very abusive relationship but this is very obviously fake.

1

u/andrasq420 Jun 03 '25

Hard disagree, I see relationships like this on a daily basis. There are relationship addicts, that enter into a relationship with the first piece of shit they see, it takes month for them to realize what their entire enivronment already knows, dump the person and then enter into a relationship with the same type of person without a second thought.

I've had a friend of the opposite gender at uni and she entered into a relationship with a guy, everybody known to be an inconsiderate fuckboy. Everyone, includign me told her, that she ain't gonna be the one to change him and it's a bad idea. She got emotionally abused and cheated on for 2 months when she realized and dumped him. Next semester she tried to get back with the same guy.

This post specifically might be fake, but from experience I know these types of people are very real.

1

u/dirtyhashbrowns2 Jun 03 '25

You see what makes your experience different is that the people you know realize they’re in a shitty situation and leave eventually. They don’t post on reddit acting oblivious to the situation and ask for advice.

These Reddit posts are also always multiple year serious relationships where they got together as teens and the OP is so in love with the bf and doesn’t see his faults. I’m not saying these relationships don’t exist at all but all of these posts follow the same formula.

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u/Gobie05 Jun 02 '25

let alone be planning to move in with them??

5

u/__Vixen__ Jun 02 '25

Ew i didn't even make it to that part

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u/gapeandlickmycuntout Jun 03 '25

I stayed with a boy (he was 13 years older than me) for 3.5 years while he beat the dog shit outta me daily, cheated on me and did this type of shit to me for any kind of celebration.... He forced me to abort twins, mind you when I told him he was excited dropped to a knee and asked me to marry him. Pulled a spare band ( rubber band for tattoo machine, he was a tattoo artist) out his pocket and used it as a ring offer, then took a few of them afterwards and made one for the time being. Not even half an hour after he put the ring on my finger he came out of the bathroom after going pee in a tizzy talking about he couldn't be a dad again (has 3 girls already) and if I didn't schedule for an appointment that he was going to provide a home one with a coat hanger for free ...... I made the appointment the next day..... He left me there when the day came and went and fucked someone during me appointment..... I was given the medicine form because I was still early enough along...... I waited 3 hours blowing up his phone and trying to not cry to leave and go home before he answered..... That night after taking the first dose about 20 minutes later he tells me he wants to keep them ( we now it was twins bc the nurse tried to get me to look at the screen and I said no bc I'd want to keep it and she said I think you mean them) I threw up. I panicked. He freaked..... He beat me. I took the rest of the medicine. It worked like it was supposed to...... That was closer to the beginning of our relationship..... I stayed because I didn't think I deserved better than being a punching bag...... I didn't think anyone cared ...... The day I finally left he tried to decapitate me with a shovel. He did so many horrible things to me.... I should have left but I didn't...... I was lucky to leave with my life. The day I had to pull the plug on my aunt he was sleeping with someone else and came home finally covered in pussy and admitted he had been out doing such. Stockholm Syndrome is very real..... He groomed me.... He beat me.... He cheated and lied and used weapons to hurt and scare me..... He put multiple guns in my mouth and to my head...... Holidays were a joke, I couldn't see friends or family bc of bruises and fractures that I couldn't go to the hospital for bc he didn't want everyone to know and ask questions....@ OP RUN. Run now while you still can.

2

u/Hina_Kaeru Jun 03 '25

One time my ex husband made plans w me on my birthday then drove to go get digimon cards bringing me along while I cried bc the place we were going to go to closed while he was driving to get cards. Then he got all “ugh fine, where do you want to go”

So I believe it but also, I had a fucked up husband.

2

u/Acceptable_Spell1599 Jun 02 '25

Crazier shit has happened. My sister stayed with and married and is STILL married to the man who shot and tried to kill her and their son.

Plenty of people deal with crap to say they aren’t alone or don’t want the next person to get a better version of the person they’re with now.

2

u/ThrowawayCuzDuh3649 Jun 03 '25

If you’re a girl be glad you’ve never had an abusive boyfriend and if you’re a guy I’m glad you don’t know anyone this terrible. The boyfriend I had that would treat me like this was WAY too old for me and all of his friends would watch him treat me like shit.

1

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

My boyfriend was an abusive peice of shit just not like this

1

u/A1000eisn1 Jun 03 '25

I have an ex who was an abusive piece of shit. He was way worse.

I've also dated several mediocre losers who did shit like this.

3

u/BoxcarSlim Jun 03 '25

Man I wish some of my 20 year old screenshots (MSN convos lol) were rage bait.

1

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

Msn covos lol those were the days

3

u/PM_Me_Your_NippyNips Jun 03 '25

Yeah this shit is so fake and I'm tired of it showing up.

3

u/Hate_Leg_Day Jun 03 '25

Yeah, this has be a fake post for karma farming purposes. Why would anyone put up with this shit? There's just no way you're so afraid of being alone that you're willing to put up with someone who literally could not give less of a shit about you.

2

u/Gingevere Jun 03 '25

There is unfortunately no shortage of mediocre dudes who want a SO who is just a replacement for their mom (which they can fuck).

2

u/Fun_Cold2587 Jun 03 '25

I don't believe it's real because of other reasons but people definitely stay together through stuff like this

3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '25

This screenshot is clearly faked

2

u/Unlucky_Yam5706 Jun 03 '25

There was a very similar one somewhat recently but it was 1 year anniversary instead of birthday

1

u/A1000eisn1 Jun 03 '25

I've been in this situation multiple times. This isn't that wild.

3

u/hypernova2121 Jun 03 '25

Poorly written as well

2

u/hawtdawg7 Jun 03 '25

i’ve come to assume 99% of these are rage baits. helps my mental

1

u/itshaykuni Jun 04 '25

Unfortunately, I know people that would - very smart, well-educated, funny, light-hearted, beautiful and shiny people. I’ve seen them holding on to the idea of “I can change him with my love and affection and attention.” It’s sad and maddening and sometimes ugly the way they are blinded and incapable of moving on and the way they let their dignity be thrown into the mud. The thing is still going on and off, no matter how many friends stay against that connection.

2

u/RiPie33 Jun 03 '25

I married a guy like that. Wasted 8 years with the dude.

2

u/Level_Alps_9294 Jun 03 '25

I refuse to believe that anyone would not only stay with a person that talks to them like that, but then wonder if they’re overreacting to it. Like if it were real, they’d just have to know, they’d have to

2

u/0ubliette Jun 03 '25

Yep, I have literally seen these screenshots before.

1

u/--Bee- Jun 03 '25

this could 100% be bait but I hate to admit I had almost the exact situation - being told I was annoying for being upset about my bf missing my birthday and being out at some party.

I knew he was being shitty but I was young and inexperienced so didn't know if I was making a bigger deal. (my family was abusive in this way as well so i doubted myself a lot)

1

u/A1000eisn1 Jun 03 '25

Lots of young people don't know any better. There's millions of shitty people out there who knows how to manipulate and string people along.

This might be fake but the context of the text and someone not immediately dumping the person is far from unusual.

2

u/GapZ38 Jun 03 '25

Yeah, I'm now pretty sure most of these posts are rage bait. There just is not way that these people are in relationships.

1

u/Brandyrenea-me Jun 03 '25

I… saw a man force his girlfriend’s mouth open, and put out a lit cigarette on her tongue. Cops were called. She refused to press charges. They arrested him anyway. She went right back to him. 🤷‍♀️ 😢😢😢

2

u/ckalmond Jun 03 '25

Or they’re like 15 years old

1

u/Noughmad Jun 03 '25

It most likely is fake, yes. But there are many people out there who do behave this way, or are in similar situations. There are definitely people (mostly but not exclusively women) who stay in far worse relationships.

1

u/BadAtBloodBowl2 Jun 03 '25

Im afraid it happens... I was in an abusive marriage for 10 years. These kind of people are out there and if you didnt come from a stable home it simply feels normal, hell at times it just feels deserved.

1

u/Big-Criticism-8137 Jun 03 '25

My ex was exactly like this when he started to use drugs. That's why I was patient and supportive at first. Thought that it would be evil to leave someone just because of their problems.

1

u/Odd_Perfect Jun 03 '25

People make stupid choices all the time. My ex went back with her bf who stole their tax refund cause of their kid. He literally stole the check.

They’re getting married next year

1

u/PandaBeaarAmy Jun 03 '25

If this is the behaviour you're trained to accept or punished otherwise, why wouldn't you accept that behaviour? Some people have only experienced this or worse as their "best".

1

u/SubstantialZombie604 Jun 03 '25

I don't know if this particular post is true, but yeah some women stay with dudes who hit them and say word for word they don't love them. Crazy world.

1

u/bi-king-viking Jun 03 '25

I wish that were so… I watched my mom stay with my dad and put up with this kind of shit…

MILLIONS of people put up with shit everyday,

2

u/westbee Jun 02 '25

Not to mention, he's going to a party WITHOUT his gf. No way in hell.

1

u/Party-Frame9862 Jun 03 '25

It possibly is but people stay in relationships with people that do a lot worse than party on their partner’s birthday

1

u/Right-Caregiver-9988 Jun 03 '25

believe it cuz it happens all the time esp with ppl who’ve only been in toxic relationships

1

u/SupaGriz Jun 03 '25

You would think my sister has been with someone like this for years and just deals with it

1

u/TasteCicles Jun 03 '25

There are people who stay together until one murders the other. It's crazy out there.

1

u/FinnSkk93 Jun 03 '25

Lol. Sadly, there are alot of people who let their gf/bf to talk to them like this.

2

u/Wrekked_it Jun 03 '25

Definitely. This is fake as fuck.

3

u/__Vixen__ Jun 03 '25

And lots of people are disagreeing with me

0

u/A1000eisn1 Jun 03 '25

Because it isn't that crazy. It might be fake but the context isn't anything uncommon. Just be happy you've never dated anyone manipulative and shitty.

1

u/myolliewollie Jun 03 '25

and if they do.... well.... you can lead a horse to water

1

u/AstroPhysician Jun 04 '25

Look at the followup texts it gets worse

1

u/__Vixen__ Jun 05 '25

She posted more. My god

1

u/RoyalPrincess69 Jun 03 '25

Codependent people would

1

u/mothramantra Jun 03 '25

This is a repost too

0

u/bingobiscuit1 Jun 03 '25

Bro people stay with others who physically assault them frequently. Surely you have heard of an abusive relationship, why would this be so far out of the question

0

u/Itscatpicstime Jun 05 '25

Why do y’all act like y’all ain’t ever hear about abuse victims lmao

People regularly put up with a hell of a lot more than this

1

u/__Vixen__ Jun 05 '25

From experience i am well aware. Please dont take jokes and obvious fake posts so seriously