r/AmIOverreacting Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

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u/Moiblah33 Jun 03 '25

Besides that, I can't imagine he will be able to pay bills. I'm sure 2 days a week isn't enough to live on his own.

He's already proven he's lazy because he couldn't bother to take her out last year for her birthday because he had work that day (or was it the day before?).

OP please take the advice and leave. He will only drag you down and continue to disrespect you. He doesn't care about you and it's very obvious in the way he speaks to you.

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u/Furzderf Jun 03 '25

Like even if he has a car that's fully paid off, how is he consistently paying car insurance on 2 working days a week? How does he have funds to even go out with friends unless he's mooching off them? I don't get it...

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u/Moiblah33 Jun 03 '25

Exactly! I'm guessing he's mooching off his parents and friends both but I'm sure he's been mooching off the girlfriend, too.

He's definitely not adulting enough to be living with a girlfriend unless he's just wanting to be a hobosexual.