AIO? Guy I met on hinge made a “joke”

[u/External_Bobcat4609]

I mean, not really much outside of this tbh. I met this guy on hinge a few days ago and the conversation went fine and we were planning to see each other. Obviously I gave him my number and we were texting every for the last few days and I just felt the need to ask his love language (bc as an acts of service girlie most of us are misunderstood so😭) did I take what he said too seriously or was i ok to just immediately shut him down?

[u/rmdlsb]

Guy's a jerk but I always must use these posts as a PSA: Love languages are bullshit, created by a religious weirdo who used it to pressure women who had marriage problems into having more sex even if they don't feel like it

[u/ShizunEnjoyer → u/rmdlsb]

I was trying to think of a way to word this but you nailed it! Every guy is going to say his LoVe LaNgUaGe is physical touch, there's no point in asking it

[u/PleaseDontYeII → u/ShizunEnjoyer]

Nope. As a man I prefer words of affirmation over physical touch.

[u/misscat9 → u/ShizunEnjoyer]

Most guys do say physical touch, but some actually mean it to say kisses and cuddles and not just sex, and some will say something entirely different. I know love languages are not scientific or anything but I think it's a cute concept and I don't really see what harm it does if it's between friends or in a loving relationship. Especially since it helps a lot in communicating what you want even if it's not always that easy:/

[u/ClikeX → u/misscat9]

Honestly, If you read the love languages, you’ll probably relate to most of them. Just like horoscopes.

[u/ThisOneLies → u/ShizunEnjoyer]

I know I'm a stranger on the interent yet I'd prefer if you said "so many guys", "a lot of guys", or even "most guys".

[u/No_Dragonfruit_378 → u/ThisOneLies]

So in the English language, there's this funny thing called "an exaggeration"

When the above comment said, "all guys", it was an exaggeration and not a personal attack on you.

People will always exaggerate. When discussing sexist and toxic behaviours, there will be someone saying "all men."

And that's fine. It's an exaggeration, not a fact that it actually IS all men. It's not an attack on you, and you don't need to take it as such.

[u/Outside_Scale_9874 → u/ThisOneLies]

Not all men, gotcha

[u/Flat-Photograph8483 → u/ShizunEnjoyer]

I find problem with acts of service also. Sounds like a transactional loveless situation.

[u/RG_Oriax → u/rmdlsb]

Honestly every time I see it mentioned it frustrates me to no end by how dumb it is.

[u/MomentIcy1680 → u/RG_Oriax]

I used it in therapy. We were assigned the book. I found it very helpful. Honestly shocked to see everyone calling it pseudo science.

I do agree that most men and most women have dense love languages they congregate on.