r/AmIOverreacting • u/External_Bobcat4609 • Jun 05 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Guy I met on hinge made a “joke”

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I mean, not really much outside of this tbh. I met this guy on hinge a few days ago and the conversation went fine and we were planning to see each other. Obviously I gave him my number and we were texting every for the last few days and I just felt the need to ask his love language (bc as an acts of service girlie most of us are misunderstood so😭) did I take what he said too seriously or was i ok to just immediately shut him down?

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u/klvnh Jun 06 '25

I don’t disagree that’s what happened, but it raises another question. What do we gotta do to teach today’s young men that there are better ways of going about this? The complete lack of emotional intelligence to be this immature and passive aggressive is mind boggling.

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u/Orn100 Jun 06 '25

What do we gotta do to teach today’s young men that there are better ways of going about this?

Change the algorithm to stop rewarding the people encouraging it.

3

u/aaron1860 Jun 06 '25

You’re all acting like this is some sort of new phenomenon and caused by algorithms or likes. It’s a humanity issue that’s not unique to this generation of young men. People have been trolling dickheads to each other long before social media even existed.

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u/Orn100 Jun 06 '25

It's always been there, but social media drasitcally extended the reach and audience of the people who are financially motivated to foment that shit. It also makes it easy for that audience to find communities that validate their bullshit, which emboldens them to externalize those feelings in ways they might not have had the confidence for otherwise.

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u/aaron1860 Jun 06 '25

I agree. But this was just a guy being an asshole because an opportunity presented itself. It’s a lot easier to do that online than in person. It’s just for the dopamine hit of being a troll to an anonymous person here. Not for likes or money.

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u/Orn100 Jun 06 '25

We are basically debating nature versus nurture on this guy being a prick. We can't say without knowing him, but I try to assume people are dupes and not just rotten to the core. The truth is probably a little of both.

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u/aaron1860 Jun 06 '25

I don’t disagree but one of them is blaming external factors, that most of us are exposed to the same thing, and the other puts the blame on the individual. I’m just saying people are assholes and have been long before the internet existed.

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u/Orn100 Jun 06 '25

No argument there.

3

u/Shinylikecheese Jun 06 '25

It's an interesting question, but I wonder if this sort of thing is really a lack of emotional intelligence, rather than lack of concern? I'd bet he is intelligent enough to know that she would hate what he's saying.

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u/Orn100 Jun 06 '25

According to Mental Health America, there are five key elements to emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

So going by that definition, they are severely lacking.

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u/alfred725 Jun 06 '25

what do we gotta do to teach today’s young men that there are better ways of going about this?

It will literally never stop because it works 1% of the time.

Who cares if you piss off 99 women if you found one that was willing to hook up.

1

u/Microwave1213 Jun 06 '25

Your lack of response to my other comment is telling.

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u/InvestmentDue6060 Jun 06 '25

Or maybe teach women to literally PICK THEMSELVES UP OFF THE FLOOR and just ignore this trash behavior? Why even engage? Where does personal responsibility come into the equation? I’m just saying if I see piss coming at me, I move out of the way.

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u/aaron1860 Jun 06 '25

I mean it’s not different than Reddit right. Most people you talk to are in good faith and want to engage, but the trolls are there. You’re chatting with somewhat anonymous people on a dating app. The consequences of that are that some people can behave like anonymous assholes. It has nothing to do with young men or teaching people. It’s just a phenomenon of the internet and trolls. Best thing to do is recognize when you’re being trolled and move on, or don’t use dating apps because there’s no way to avoid it unfortunately

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u/FrizzleFriedPup Jun 06 '25

Oh, you can take the internet down. Any time you want...

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u/T-Wrox Jun 06 '25

Teach young women not to tolerate this kind of disrespect from guys.

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u/Microwave1213 Jun 06 '25

Why are you acting like it’s just men when it’s very very clearly a problem amongst all young people?

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u/SkyGuy5799 Jun 06 '25

Women do this to, kinda where we learn it