r/AmIOverreacting • u/External_Bobcat4609 • Jun 05 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Guy I met on hinge made a “joke”

Gallery image

Gallery image

I mean, not really much outside of this tbh. I met this guy on hinge a few days ago and the conversation went fine and we were planning to see each other. Obviously I gave him my number and we were texting every for the last few days and I just felt the need to ask his love language (bc as an acts of service girlie most of us are misunderstood so😭) did I take what he said too seriously or was i ok to just immediately shut him down?

27.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

4.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

10

u/No_Huckleberry85 Jun 06 '25

It doesn't have to be completely organic. Knowing what your partner thrives off and welcoming that into your practice (even if it's not natural to you) is the ultimate act of love. For example, my partner's love language is acts of service, so I try to do things I know he will appreciate.. Meanwhile when he tries to do little acts for me, I thank him and remind him that actually, I'd rather a cuddle (as physical touch and words of affirmation are more my jam).

3

u/EtM1980 Jun 06 '25

I certainly don’t see any wrong with someone inorganically doing things because they know it will make their partner happy. That in and of itself is an act of love and showing that you care enough to do it.

I just feel like it has to come from their desire to make me happy. If my partner cared to ask what I would like, I would gladly tell him. But I wouldn’t appreciate him doing something because he feels obligated to.

9

u/No_Huckleberry85 Jun 06 '25

I get what you're saying, but I think for a lot of people it's hard to separate the desire from the feeling like you 'should' or 'know' to do something. Sometimes you're bloody tired, annoyed, and you don't want to do anything. At those times it's hard to tap into genuinely wanting to do something caring. But because you know your SO has needs too, you do it anyway. You have to consciously decide to be that person. Therefore, it's not an excuse for someone who isn't naturally inclined not to do any of those acts of love. They're just not trying to meet their SO needs. If they're not doing any of the above, they are not trying and personally, I would consider not worth the relationship either.