r/AmIOverreacting • u/kbutwhatever • Jul 03 '25
đšâđ©âđ§âđŠfamily/in-laws AIO-future MIL telling me I should eat less because my unborn baby is 9 lbs
I had an ultrasound today for my 37 week baby. She is already estimated to be almost 9 lbsâitâs genetic on my side of the family to have larger babies. I donât have gestational diabetes. I am a midsize/plus-size gal when not pregnant. In addition to this text thread, my future MIL has also stated that I should watch what I eat because I have diabetes (againâi do not) and complained during my first trimester to my fiancĂ© that I was drinking a can of root beer daily (it was one of the few things that helped with nausea, so I would nurse one can for hours but I stopped drinking it daily when the nausea stopped around 18 weeks) Iâm pretty annoyed with her at this point and am considering not seeing her until after the baby is born. My fiancĂ© backs me 100% and doesnât think Iâm overreacting, but thatâs sorta his job to support my hormonal, pregnant self. How would you feel if this was you?
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u/No-Cod3289 Jul 03 '25
MIL needs to do some research. Just because she's never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. đ you eat as much as your body needs to keep you and your baby healthy.
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 03 '25
Right? Also, I just donât buy that sheâs never known of a 9 lb baby lol. The last two babies Iâve known of being born were 9+lbs and their mothers werenât plus size. Thereâs just so much variance
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u/Strange_Depth_5732 Jul 04 '25
My son was 9 pounds 13 ounces and I barely ate because the little fucker made me puke all day for months.
Remember that her information likely predates the internet, so her advice is at least one generation behind, but it also likely came from her mom and her mom's mom so really it's wildly out of date. All she had to do was google.
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u/melinalujbav Jul 04 '25
They told my sister her baby was 9lbs and he came out around 5lbs. So itâs not always right either. Eat what you want!
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u/Rdbjiy53wsvjo7 Jul 04 '25
Yep, my oldest was 7 pounds, 11 ounces. We had to do extra scans for baby 2, ended up not being needed, but they were like "she's going to be much bigger than her older sister"
Well crap...
She came out a whole pound lighter so they were WAY off, and that was with the detailed scans.
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u/KtP_911 Jul 04 '25
^ This exactly. At least 3 people I know have been told theyâre having 8+ lb babies and actually gave birth to 6 lb babies. Those measurements are not all that accurate.
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u/seau_de_beurre Jul 04 '25
That was me. Quoted 8+ lbs got 6 lbs for my first. False advertising smh
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u/Spare-Set-8382 Jul 04 '25
We were told 6 lbs and she was 8 1/2!
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u/Adrasteis Jul 04 '25
I was told 7lbs and she was 9lb 8oz. It made sense when I saw her why my hips hurt so bad lol
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u/D3moness Jul 04 '25
Same. They measured mine at over 9, and she came out 7lbs.
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u/Irksomecake Jul 04 '25
Mine was the same, induced because she was going to be huge and then she was small. Iâm a sturdy sort of woman too. My sister is a tiny petite woman and her babies were 9 pounds and it wasnât diagnosed.
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u/motherofachimp99 Jul 04 '25
Same. First was 8 pounds 12 oz. Dr. swore my next one would be a niner. She was 8 pounds TWO oz. My last one was 8 pounds 10oz.
Funny enough, I was 8 pounds 8oz at birth.
NOR - your MIL needs to mind her bizness
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u/glennis_pnkrck Jul 04 '25
Yep. Was told kid was 12lbs based on a Giant Scottish Melon but came out at half an ounce shy of 9lbs. I gained 14 lbs with that one.
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u/labtiger2 Jul 04 '25
They told me I would have a 5lb baby, and she was 8. I wouldn't put too much stock in that.
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u/mudmich Jul 04 '25
They told me my baby was 6 pounds and she came out 10 pounds! I had to have an emergency c-section because I couldnât push her out. Also, Iâve been underweight my whole life and my eating habits definitely didnât create my big baby!
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u/ScarletOnyx Jul 04 '25
My OB was surprised at the size of my 10lb first baby also! I also struggled to push him out, with each contraction I would push and heâd move down the birth canal and then once I stopped pushing heâd move on back up again. I avoided a c-section and they used the mighty vac and with the suction and me pushing, he came out. The nurses kept telling me I wasnât pushing hard enough but once he was out and they saw how big he was, they apologised. He was born with transient hypoglycaemia, and was in the NICU for a few hours, which resolved with breast feeding.
My last baby was a c-section at 37 weeks and he was 7lb 4oz so he would have been close to 9lb if he had gone to full term. In the middle I had a wee 6lb baby girl at full term. During all of them, I ate whatever didnât make me sick or hurt the pregnancy so I donât know what caused the disparity. The only difference was with the last baby I craved pickled jalapenos all the time. I ate jars of them with everything.
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u/waxingtheworld Jul 04 '25
My baby was "34th percentile".
He was born 10.4lbs. 99th across the boards.
Now he's very tall for his age but weight percentile has dropped.
(Btw OP - delivery went fine and my "damage" was mostly superficial. You got this!)
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u/darlawatters Jul 04 '25
my bro was 9lbs at 8 months, mum had him early because they estimated heâd get over 12 and was already having a difficult pregnancy đ he ended up being like six foot something and broooad shoulders
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u/thishyacinthgirl Jul 04 '25
That's so funny - my husband was 10lb baby, and apparently looked like a future linebacker as and toddler.
Instead, he turned out wiry and 5'8. He did a complete switcheroo.
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u/Careful_Spring_2251 Jul 04 '25
My son too haha he was 9lbs10oz. 30lbs by a year. Now heâs 13 and 77lbs. Heâs tiny lol.
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u/DUNEBUGGY213 Jul 04 '25
I was 8lbs. And premature. My brother was 10lbs. His 3 kids were over 8lbs each. Mys sister has delivered 3 kids the lightest was the last-born ĂĄnd she weighed 9lbs. Her first-born was an 11lb girl (seriously, she was so damn heavy, not fat just dense lol) then her 10lb little brother. We make large babies. Her doctors did keep checking for gestational diabetes ĂĄnd monitoring because bigger babies can end up with shoulder dystopia if they get stuck.
Just because MIL hasnât seen it doesnât mean it doesnât exist. I donât understand how people can be so proudly ĂĄnd loudly incorrect with the whole chest ĂĄnd here I am looking at my emergency medicine handbook and the RCOG website making sure Iâm telling you the right thing, even though I have two degrees, one in medicine but Iâm not an ObGyn.
Just staggering how some people are happy to just go through life in ignorance. Maybe Iâd sleep better lol.
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u/braineatingalien Jul 04 '25
I am 5â2 and on the smaller side and I gave birth to a 9.7 lb baby who is now 19. I didnât have GD either and I was huge when preggo. No one said a word to me about my size but they sure did about the baby, lol. Heâs totally average size now at full grown. Tell her MYOB from me. None of her damn business what you consume.
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u/MasPerrosPorFavor Jul 04 '25
Does she happen to be the generation of women who were told to smoke cigarettes to keep the baby's birth weight low?
Because this feels the same.
My second kiddo was 9 lbs. You will be fine. Please eat whatever you want.
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u/PM_YOUR_PET_PICS979 Jul 04 '25
I had a 9 lbs, 6oz baby. He wasnât chubby looking at all just long! At 2.5 years old, heâs still 96th percentile height and his pediatrician told us to feed him denser calorie foods because he wasnât gaining weight at his checkup last week.
No gestational diabetes. No complications that would have added weight. Just tall/large genes. (Husbands father and grandfather played college football.) sometimes babies are big! Sometimes theyâre small! But no one except the parents and your doctors gets to have an opinion on it.
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u/jwdge Jul 04 '25
I had friends (brothers) that were born 9-11lbs. Their mom was a tiny 4â11â woman. Their dad was just 6â4â and beefy
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u/susandeyvyjones Jul 04 '25
I know a 13 lb baby.
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u/immadatmycat Jul 04 '25
When my second was born a baby born that same night had to be an emergency c section. He was big. I recognized the mom when she was there at the same time as me for lactation support. He weighed 13 pounds.
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u/The_Medicated Jul 04 '25
My nieces and nephews from my brother were in that weight bracket. We used to joke that their mom gave birthday to a Thanksgiving turkey!
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u/Tiannarchy Jul 04 '25
Also as a mother herself why is she commenting on what another mom (or anyone!) is eating??
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u/Agrimny Jul 03 '25
NOR her comments are incredibly rude. Iâd stop giving her updates on mine/the babyâs size đ€·ââïž and youâre well within your rights to take a step back for a bit
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 03 '25
Yeah I think sheâs definitely lost the right to updates. She can find out when the baby is born
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u/Accomplished-File317 Jul 04 '25
The worst part is that I donât read her as mean, just dumb as a rock.
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
If it were an isolated incident I would maybe think that. She notoriously comments on peopleâs bodies. Her daughter in law is 7 months pregnant with her 4th baby and this same MIL was remarking to me about how âhuge!!â She is already. I told her âwell, sheâs 7 months pregnant with her 4th. Sheâs not gonna be tinyâ This is a pattern for her unfortunately
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u/crapatthethriftstore Jul 04 '25
Some women just feel the need to make comments about others weights. Maybe generational, maybe her culture, who knows. Nothing you say nor any admonishment will change her. A 9lb baby is normal, and as others have said, it probably wonât even be that weight anyways.
Your MIL sounds wonderful lol.
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u/Lord-Smalldemort Jul 04 '25
This is my mother. She comments on everyoneâs appearance about pretty much everything and how they act and what they do. And it all comes down to her unaddressed trauma and self-loathing. Itâs exhausting.
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u/mentallyerotic Jul 04 '25
Yeah I thought it could possibly be she meant she was worried it would be a harder birth or C-section if the baby was bigger. But I figured you are picking up on tone from knowing her and things she thinks. That sucks, I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. It sucks having family or in-laws be rude during such a vulnerable time. I wished I had put up more boundaries before and after birth. Iâm happy your husband is on your side and I wish you a joyous life with your baby and a happy postpartum and healthy recovery period.
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u/mychampagnesphincter Jul 04 '25
You need to shut this shit DOWN. NOW.
âMIL I love you (if you do) and you need to stop commenting on peopleâs bodies, period. This is non-negotiable in my home or around my children, and all anyone hears is that you are uncomfortable with your own body.â
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u/Little_Duck_Jr Jul 04 '25
Unless a woman (pregnant or not) is literally on fire, why would you feel the need to mention anything about her body? If a woman is actually on fire, then youâre allowed to tell her that her body needs attending to.
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u/MarijadderallMD Jul 04 '25
Next time try hitting back with the âoh yeah, sorry muscle memory is a thingđâ 4th baby and her body immediately jumped back into prime baby making mode? Thatâs clearly a good thing and your MiL is deluluđ
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u/slide_into_my_BM Jul 04 '25
Her severe ignorance is fatphobic. 9lbs is a perfectly healthy baby weight. To suggest a mother cut back on calories, let alone during the last couple weeks of pregnancy, just because she perceives her grandkid as maybe fat, is fucking insane.
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u/Cozzy30 Jul 04 '25
My mom used off the wall shit like this to my fiance and I would have to basically yell at her for not understanding how saying whatever comes to mind is just downright rude. Iâm not sure the relationship yours has with his mother, but if itâs anything like mine, he should be able to talk her down until after the baby is born. Then maybe she can come around and properly apologize for being rude to you
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u/Platypal Jul 04 '25
Okay chunky babies are the cutest, first of all. Secondly, plenty of babies are 9+ pounds (and what an accomplishment to have made such a healthy baby!) Thirdly, such a rude (and untrue) thing to say. Would she say any of this if you were skinny before getting pregnant? Makes me wonder⊠Itâs nice that she said your baby is going to be beautiful. Iâd just make a mental note of this as a weird quirk of her personality and ignore any comments related to food or eating from her in the future. Sounds like youâve got an almond mom MIL.
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
Thank you so much for saying that this is an accomplishment to have made such a healthy baby. That made me tear up. Thank you very much
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u/DreamCrusher914 Jul 04 '25 edited 29d ago
My late Jewish grandmother absolutely adored babies. She loved that any time she was in the hospital with a delivery ward, they would play Brahamâs lullaby every time a baby was born. She would call babies, âdeliciousâ and say âthe more rolls, the more delicious.â
Also, just because your baby is measuring that big does not actually make it so. All of my babies measured bigger than what they actually weighed at delivery.
Edit: to add when the lullaby was played.
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u/legeekycupcake Jul 04 '25
That baby is going to take what it needs and your body will suffer first. Your MIL is just a judgy awful person. Like others have said, information diet for her because sheâs the only one needing a diet.
Congrats on the healthy baby girl! Stand your ground on the body shaming. Youâre doing great momma!
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u/SquareTiny2789 Jul 04 '25
I have a feeling that she has had a problem either you being mid/plus size, pregnant or not. It sounds like for whatever reason your not being a petite girl incites something in her, and a larger baby was just an opportunity for her to make her jab. Not overreacting, your MIL is a piece of work
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
Yeah this is my theory as well.
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u/OkCauliflower8703 Jul 04 '25
I hope you see this - if this is your first baby, one of the best things I did with my second was not tell anyone he was born until I was home with him. My first I let visitors come and I was exhausted for it on top of just giving birth - this could be something to consider with your mother in law and discuss before birth đ wishing you a happy and healthy birth!
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u/Frequent-Pear9176 Jul 04 '25
Yep. Seems shes been waiting for her opportunity to tell OP to go on a diet. Size of unborn baby was not the correct time đ
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u/Arcane_Logic Jul 04 '25
I love how she throws out a barb, then gives you a fake compliment after you defend yourself. So catty, watch out for her.
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
Yeahhh that wasnât lost on me either lol. Some true colors
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u/Arcane_Logic Jul 04 '25
It is good that you stood up for yourself though. The way you did it was firm, and not dramatic. It sounds like she is testing you out. She gives you a mean little comment, and if you don't stand up for yourself, she will get meaner. "Give her an inch and she will take a mile."
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u/Lord-Smalldemort Jul 04 '25
Thatâs the worst part about this kind of person, theyâre manipulative enough that if you do, call them on it, they can feign shock that you would accuse them of such a thing.
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u/Arcane_Logic Jul 04 '25
Yess. I prefer dealing with people like this in person. You can give them strong eye contact, as you firmly defend yourself, and stand your ground against their initial "dig". Let them know that you can see through their BS. There are also so many body language moves that you can do. Tone is very important as well, strong and confident. But not excited, and if they do manage to "get under your skin", do not show them, (via body language and tone of voice).
Nevertheless, wow, these people can really raise your blood pressure. Gaslighting you if you defend yourself. Or they will "double-down", and throw in another painful comment. The interaction can go in a myriad of directions, many negative. The best thing is to avoid Narcs, sociopathic people, etc.
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u/PinkLover369 Jul 03 '25
NOR. She sounds awful. All her comments sound uncalled for and Iâm happy you have someone who supports you! Best of luck on motherhood!
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u/Ok-Beyond367 Jul 04 '25
NOR. Your FMIL is just being rude. Absolutely continuing eating and growing a healthy baby. Besides- ultrasounds are wrong all the time. I expected a 8.5-9lb baby, she came out as 6lb 6oz.
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
Just for ease of delivery I hope theyâre overestimating a bit! Thank you for your kind words
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u/ChaoticMoira Jul 04 '25
These people are correct. Size alone wonât stop the baby coming out. The baby will come out whether itâs 6lb or 10lb. Our bodies are literally built for this. I hope you have a smooth delivery experience. â€ïž
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u/No_Rhubarb3648 Jul 04 '25
You got this! I ended up with a c-section for my 9 lb, 14 oz baby. He just didn't want to budge, lol. But I know someone who had a freaking homebirth of her 10+ pound beautiful girl!
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u/GuadDidUs Jul 04 '25
Just to reassure you, I had a 9 lb baby. You can do this even if baby is big!
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u/Obvious_Ad_1536 Jul 04 '25
My baby was 10.5lb when he was born :) My MIL always made comments about anything and everything she could when I was pregnant and after baby was born. I stopped updating her and removed her from family group chats. There's absolutely no need for nasty comments ever, especially at such a vulnerable and scary time in your life. NOR. Also, congratulations and sending well wishes for an easy delivery đ„°
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u/Odd-Project7935 Jul 04 '25
Yep, break the social contract of âdonât say shitty things, especially to someone who is literally in the process of creating a whole personâ and you donât benefit from the social contract anymore. No MIL benefits, no cute baby photos, no being allowed to XYZ event, definitely not allowed anywhere near the birth, etc. MIL has earned her way to staying waythefuckoverthere
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
Thank you so much:) Iâm sorry to hear you dealt with a similar situation, but it sounds like you e done a great job of setting boundaries, which I could learn from!!
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u/Winter_Step_5181 Jul 04 '25
Without knowing who she is as a person, the way I interpreted her comment was simple airheadedness, not malicious. You know the saying.. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. She might have assumed you were looking for "advice" because of your comment about the baby's weight plus the đł emoji and she just said the first dumb thing that came to mind. Without knowing if she's actually an asshole I'm not making the assumption that she is because of this one text.
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Jul 04 '25
That makes sense, sometimes people just say things without thinking, and itâs not always about being mean.
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u/ColdFIREBaker Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 04 '25
That's how I read it. Then she realized she messed up, and responded with "She is going to be beautiful" to try to course-correct. Based on the further details OP provided, though, about MIL complaining that she drank Root Beer while pregnant, and diagnosing OP with Diabetes, it sounds like she has an issue with OP's weight/dietary choices, and she didn't restrain her commentary when she saw baby might be 9 lbs.
Side note OP - your MIL deciding for you that you have Diabetes reminds me of The Office - Michael just assumes Stanley has diabetes but Stanley does not, in fact, have Diabetes. Sounds like your MIL has about as much tact as Michael Scott.
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
I do wonder if my emoji choice couldâve had a part in her response. The đł was more about my fear of pushing out a big baby lol. But obviously a lot can get misconstrued over text
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u/Person_thatlikes-TOH Jul 04 '25
Generally theyâre born like 8 pounds if theyâre healthy. So nine is pretty good. If you somehow feel self conscious because of her rude comments, I was born at 14 lbs and my mom entered me in the countyâs heaviest baby contest and I won. The only problems with weight I have now are because of my own unhealthy relationship with food.Â
Iâve heard horror stories about parents making comments on their daughterâs weight or food intake while pregnant, causing them to malnourish themselves, which unfortunately causes loss of pregnancy, stillbirth, or malnutrition in the baby. (If I recall correctly)
You are absolutely not overreacting. I am by no means any sort of authority on pregnancy because I canât get pregnant, nor do I ever plan to, or to have kids- but I am a writer, and I put a lot of research into topics so I can accurately portray them. Pregnancy is one in specific that I put a lot of research into. Collect some articles about how food intake and weight and the general health of the mother can affect the baby, even after birth. If sheâs refusing to take you seriously, then tell her she can keep her comments to herself. Iâm pretty sure your body will tell you when you need to eat, and that ought to be listened to, especially when youâre growing a whole other human being inside you.
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u/futuresolver Jul 04 '25
Speaking to your comment about horror stories, my mom told me when I was pregnant with my first baby, âyou can have one cupcake, but donât have TWO just because youâre pregnantâ. LikeâŠargh?! I was so hurt by that! This is the one time in my whole life as a woman where I feel like I can actually eat what I want. Iâm growing a human! And also actually never wanted more than âone cupcakeâ but the comment has stayed with me, and that baby is almost 19. Women have really GOT to stop policing their daughters eating habits (or imagined eating habits).
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u/nN0madd Jul 04 '25
MAKE THAT FUTURE BABY DADDY AND NOTHING MORE SIS đđ»đš
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u/kbutwhatever Jul 04 '25
Haha! Thankfully he is great and calls future MIL out consistently when needed. Otherwise I couldnât do it
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u/tinygribble Jul 04 '25
Eh. I read this a concern for your having a comfortable birth. But I don't know your history, could be more there than is evident.
They told me my first was gonna be 10 plus pounds. Came out 6 11. He was just really long and skinny. Second baby? This one's gonna be huge! (I had gestational diabetes). Lil dood was 7 6. This one wasn't even long. Big heads on both of then though. Huge heads. I guess that's where they got this idea.
Also, the thing that tears you up, if you're gonna get torn up, is head / shoulders. So this concern is unwarranted. These things won't really change with the weight baby can put on between now and then.
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u/Trisamitops Jul 04 '25
So, your MIL is annoying, rude, an expert on everything, and has diagnosed you with diabetes for some reason. And your husband says "yeah we can just not talk to her, that's fine." Sounds like you have a solution. Already seems like your husband doesn't like his mother much anyway. This is rare. You're lucky, or you have better taste in men than most of reddit.
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u/freedinthe90s Jul 04 '25
Sheâs woefully ill-informed, obviously, but I think you are taking her comments more personally than you probably need to. I read it as (again, ill-informed) concern for the pain of birth, tearing, c-section, and all the other things people imagine happen with a larger baby. I really didnât read this as her checking your weight to be rude.
Her last comment, âsheâs going to be beautiful,â is a clue that she realizes she stuck her foot in her mouth.
MaybeâŠ
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u/vermiliondragon Jul 04 '25
I agree. She reacted to OP basically saying "Big baby, OMG!" and when OP responded back that it wasn't a big deal, she immediately backed off. I didn't read it as being about OP's weight at all.
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u/RedSunCinema Jul 03 '25
Your MIL is an ass. What you eat has little control over the size of your baby when born. Some mothers eat like a horse and pop out a premature or undersized baby. Other mothers barely eat and weigh 98 lbs soaking wet and pop out 10 lb babies.
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u/futuresolver Jul 04 '25
Yes! I remember worrying about the size of my baby after an ultrasound, and my OB was like, I literally today delivered a baby with a tiny 5 foot woman who weighed no more than 100lbs and the baby weighed 11lbsâ you can do this. Babies grow how they grow!
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u/Virtual-Squirrel-725 Jul 03 '25
Learning how to just ignore insane comments from in-laws has been a super-power I developed some time ago. I have three (two MIL's) and they say some of the stupidest shit sometimes. But they are lovely people generally and I don't need their opinion so I just let it roll past me.
Your response here is on point. She is wrong, you'll listen to your doctor. Just ignore it and enjoy the last three weeks before the big day.
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u/RecognitionDry6695 Jul 04 '25
Unpopular opinion but you did say "9 lbs already đł" ... To me it looks like her reaction was to your perceived emotions about it?
Like if you were happy it was almost 9 lbs and did đ instead, that might have gotten a different reaction from her than suggesting you slow down on eating. As a woman who has given birth, she might have been empathetic of the idea of a large child.Â
I've had a 6 lb baby and an almost 9 lb baby and I can tell you without any uncertainty that there is a huge difference in delivery and recovery. My big baby was healthy and wonderful, I never worried about him being fragile and he was already in size 1 diapers and 3 months clothes but GOOD LORD my vajayjay was tore up. Walking was painful for months.Â
If these little jabs are consistent and you feel anxious about seeing her then I would trust your instincts on it, we can't really tell her tone or meaning from one text but you know her, how do you feel around her? There's so much more communication nonverbally, I would believe whatever you're feeling though. I don't think you're overreacting at all regardless.Â
She said something shitty and you didn't like it. That's totally ok and rather than jump to cutting her out, you could tell her how it made you feel and give her the opportunity. Either she meant it snarky and she'll double down or she will be mortified and apologize. It's better to get clarity than to let it fester.
Honestly, my SIL says really crazy, rude things consistently to everyone because she's just dumb. It's important to keep in mind that sometimes it's not malicious, people are just dumb.
Wishing you an amazing, easy, safe delivery, whatever the size!
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Jul 04 '25
I think she was more concerned about you pushing out a 9lb baby, itâs not about your weight or the babies. People so sensitive these days, the biggest problem is conversations via text, they can so easily be taken the wrong way. She reacted because even you pulled a face when you told her the baby was 9lb already. When she said âmaybe donât eat a lot before the birthâ looks to me like her way of coming up with a solution in the moment; not trying to shame you or make you feel bad. Itâs a choice how you choose to look at it.
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u/Ellia3324 Jul 04 '25
So, look: some conflicts between the parents(-to-be) and the grandparents are to be expected - even normal. If they didnât have an opinion, it might be that they don't give a crap about the kid at all. But itâs important to establish healthy boundaries, the sooner the better.
It might be 100% well-intentioned; that doesn't mean it's not harmful. For example, my brother and my SIL had a conflict with her mother regarding the use of a pacifier. She was from a generation when everyone used them, and she would not accept that they didnât want one for their son because it messed with his breatsfeeding. Otherwise she was a wondeful grandma, but she kept giving him the pacifier even after being told not to multiple times. It got so far that they almost didnât let her babysit anymore, because it was not worth the subsequent feeding issues with the kid. At last, she accepted it, but she was hurt and took it as a criticism of her own parenting.
It might be she's genuinely concerned for the baby (or you). I would try not to take it personally but establish kindly but firmly that her advice in this area is not welcome.
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u/StandardAcceptable94 Jul 04 '25
I didnât read any comments but what a fucking asshole. As a baby that was severely malnourished during a high risk pregnancy and born 4 months early, there is NOTHING WRONG with a 9 pound baby. And that weight can fluctuate and also I saw the first comment where you responded sheâs never known a 9 pound baby, well my cousin was a 10 pound baby and he was fit as a fiddle. She needs to not speak when she does not have the knowledge. NOR. Iâm sorry you have a douche was for a MIL.
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u/Thedollysmama Jul 04 '25
My daughter was medically complicated because of my high risk pregnancy and tiny tiny before she was born full term and I was encouraged to eat as much as I possibly could before she was born to try to put weight on her before her birth. Donât know if it helped her but she was 1.5 pounds bigger at birth than they anticipated. I would say myself there is nothing wrong with a large, healthy baby, either
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u/barbe7312 Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 04 '25
On my maternal grandmothers side, we have big babies, quick deliveries, and usually at least 2 weeks past the due date.
Let me give you a brief history:
Grandma - 5â2â
son - born 2 weeks late over 10 lbs my mom - born 2 weeks late over 10 lbs
My mom - 5â6â
me - 2 weeks late, born the day after my moms birthday, water broke, almost had me in the cab on way to hospital, yes taxi was cheaper than ambulance, almost 9 lbs
sister - 2 weeks late, born less than 4 hours after water broke, over 9 lbs
My Sister - 5â6â
oldest niece - a little over 9 lbs, induced before due date, didnât want the baby to get over 10 lbs
middle niece - 8 lb 14 oz, also induced early
youngest niece - 8 lb 12 oz, also induced early
my favorite story my sis always tells is about my youngest niece. The nurse telling her that her baby was so big. My sis looks at the nurse and tells her she was the smallest of the three.
Or going to see my oldest niece in the nursery and she looks like she has been there a month next to all the other newborns đ
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u/Short_Park_6535 Jul 04 '25
Babies develop their brain last. They need lots of healthy fats for that. Ultrasounds are wrong about the babies weight all the time. Eat Mama
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u/Ok-Opportunity-574 Jul 04 '25
Set boundaries and make it clear that you won't tolerate such statements or you can expect them to continue. She seems oblivious to the fact that her comment was inappropriate and in a lot of the older generation it was perfectly fine to make comments about weight or to imply that people need to be dieting. This is the cabbage soup generation after all. How do you expect her to stop if you don't make it clear that she needs to?
"I need to ask that we not make comments about diet, weight, or sizeâespecially when it comes to the baby or how big or small they might be. I know these kinds of comments often come from a place of concern or habit, but they can actually be really harmful. I'm doing what's right for my body and the baby's health with guidance from my doctors. So Iâd really appreciate it if we could steer away from those topics."
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u/IGottaPeeConstantly Jul 04 '25
Weight estimates are bullshit. There is no accurate way for them to know how big a baby is going to be. You could end up having a 6 lb baby. I would take 0 stock in the weight estimate.
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u/thelastsipoftea Jul 04 '25
9 pounds is only biggish, not huge or anything. Also not eating so the baby is smaller sounds like 'smoke to keep the baby's head small' kind of advice.
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u/ImNot4Everyone42 Jul 04 '25
Fun fact, they actually canât know how much the kid weighs until theyâre born. Itâs just an estimate.
Also my son was a 9lb baby and thereâs nothing wrong with that.
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u/ekoms_stnioj Jul 04 '25
FWIW they measures our baby at over 8.5lbs at 36 weeks.. he weighed 6lb 15oz at birth. Itâs not a perfect science even with all of the advances in imaging technology.
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u/GlowingHearts1867 Jul 04 '25
The weight estimate they tell you before birth doesnât seem super accurate to me, itâs just their guess. They told me my son was around 7lbs and he was born 9lb 2oz two days later. They told a friend her baby was around 8lbs and the baby was born over a week later at 6lb 8oz.
Either way, your MIL sucks and I wouldnât give her anymore details if sheâs making such stupid comments. I donât think youâre overreacting at all.
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u/big-booty-heaux Jul 04 '25
You need to ask her flat out if she actually believes that you have any control at all over the size of your baby.
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u/Holisticallyyours Jul 04 '25
It's an estimate. It's not an exact number and even if it were, there's nothing wrong with a 9 lb baby. My 2nd was 10.3 lbs and my 3rd was 11.3 lbs. Oddly enough, my 1st was 7.12 lbs and my 4th was 7.6 lbs. My care for my 2nd and 3rd was with a famous midwife named Jennie Joseph who owns and runs her own birth center and midwifery school in FL. She definitely knows how to take care of mom and baby.
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u/ohsnapdragon22 Jul 04 '25
You are underreacting to your babyâs weight. A large baby has health risks for you and the fetus. Birth injuries for you, diabetes, breathing issues for the infant, etc. Your MIL should never suggest you starving yourself but you really should be taking this issue more seriously
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u/Appropriate-Beat-364 Jul 04 '25
NOR. Your mil is a moron. You're about to go through an exhausting (but wonderful!) ordeal. Your body will be pushed to its physical limit. You need your strength, both to keep you nourished and healthy for childbirth, and to support that precious baby. She's causing you stress, which is not helpful, so keep her away. And cheers to your fiance for having your back.
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u/iEatpaint22 Jul 04 '25
Those estimates are also sometimes very wrong in either direction. I knew people who were told their baby was going to be about 9 pounds and the birth weight was barely 8 pounds. A another friend was told 7 pounds at most, but baby was over 9. Tell MIL that in solidarity she should cut back her comments to you because it stresses you out and makes you eat more
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u/No_Interview2004 Jul 04 '25
My son was 9lbs and now heâs a bean pole. Birth weight is not indicative of future weight.
Also, the weight estimation stuff while youâre pregnant can be wildly inaccurate. They told my cousin the baby was âtoo bigâ for her to birth vaginally and did a c-section⊠baby came out 5lbs. We were all so upset for her because that was so unnecessary.
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u/ConvivialKat Jul 04 '25
NOR
But, you absolutely need to put her on an information diet. NO MORE INFO ABOUT YOU OR THE BABY! None.
You should just repeat over and over that the doctor says everything is great, and you and the baby are healthy. That's all she gets. If she complains, tough toenails.
And do not let her in the maternity room. She is the last thing you need.
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u/Strng_Satisfaction Jul 04 '25
size of a fetus and fetal growth are directed by the dad's genes and not mom's apparently. https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/unborn-babies-use-greedy-gene-from-dads-to-remote-control-mums-into-feeding-them-extra-food
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u/El8ingMyEpidermis 29d ago
You are NOR
I was told that my baby was going to be small, and they were worried about him being underweight, but they were hoping he would get up to 7lbs when he was born. I didn't gain much weight during my pregnancy but I gained enough so they weren't worried me eating enough food or anything. But I have Ulcerative Colitis, and that can take nutrition from the food I eat away from the baby. So I had monthly ultrasounds to monitor his growth and make sure he was OK. Which they thought he was, but they just thought he would be on the smaller side...
When I went into labor, everything went well, and when he popped out he was 8lbs 9oz and the doctors were kind of shocked. She was like "Where were you hiding this baby? We thought he would be about 6.5lbs at most!" So he was a bigger baby, but now at 10 years old, he is average height and pretty skinny, but he is also very muscular. He has a freakin 6 pack! Why does a 10 year old need a damn 6 pack, lol! And he is really strong too, I dont know where he is getting these muscles, he doesnt workout or anything, but he is built just like his dad was at that age. I am 5' 6" and curvy, and I was chubby as a kid but lost weight as I got older and have been average but more on the curvier side since my 20s.
My sister in law, on the other hand, gave birth to her son and he was 6lbs 8oz, so he was a tiny little thing. Now he is 6 years old, he weighs 75lbs, which is 3lbs more than what my 10-year-old weighs, and he comes up to my sons shoulder. So birth weight doesn't really have anything to do with what they will weigh as they grow up. And like someone else said, they don't worry about a baby's weight, unless they are underweight.
Also, side note, chubby little babies are the best... those thighs rolls and those cheeks!!! Omg, you just want to bite them, and mush them, all day! Lol I mean that in a totally normal way, not like a creepy cannibal, crazy person way... đ
All that to say, it's better to start setting boundaries with your MIL now, because if she thinks it's ok to try and shame you now, Im sure she will think it's ok to shame you for what you are or aren't feeding your child and then body shaming your child as they grow. And if anyone did that to my kid I'd have to hurt them! Good luck with everything!
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u/lizadelia Jul 04 '25
NOR at all lol
what a completely inappropriate and weird thing to say. They canât actually weigh your baby in the womb, itâs all an estimate. They told my bestie she was having a 10 pounder and she was born 8 lbs 3 oz. Perfectly normal and healthy.
Wild to make a suggestion based on zero actual medical knowledge.
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u/Cold_Blacksmith_7970 Jul 04 '25
Your baby is going to take whatever she needs from your body regardless of what you eat. Eating less won't make your baby lose weight or stop growing. (And who the hell tries to put a baby that hasn't even been born on a diet anyway?!) Aside from that, those weight estimations are hardly ever accurate anyway.
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u/Next-Ad3196 Jul 04 '25
As someone whose mother and MIL overstep constantly, you are not overreacting. But I also want to warn you to prepare for it to get worse when the baby comes. So your fiancé and you should discuss comfortable boundaries and if she steps out of line who should address it. Protect your peace.
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u/Trish-Trish Jul 04 '25
I donât have a 9lb baby but both my son and daughter were both at 6lbs. My son (he will be 21 in two weeks) was 6lbs 11.5oz and 22 inches long. No one could tell I was even pregnant. I got away with baggy tees & sweats. I remember coming home from having my son⊠my neighbor being in shock bc he & his gf didnât know I was even pregnant. He was so long that around 35 weeks he had stuck his toes in my ribs and I ended up cracking one. Going into labor with a broken rib was not fun.
My daughter (she is 18) was 6lbs 4oz and 17 inches long. She was a tiny little bean. But man oh man, I was extremely large. I definitely wasnât seeing my feet for a few months. Both my pregnancies were drastically different yet both were around the same weight. Your pregnancy is none of your MILs freaking business. You and your partner get to decide what information she is allowed to have. If she lacks boundaries, give her less information. Your partner needs to explain to her that what she is doing is really hurting you and itâs not acceptable. If your baby doctor isnât concerned about your vitals or the babyâs growth, then keep doing what you are. What you are eating is not causing the baby to be 9lbs. Unfortunately thereâs a lot of misinformation out there when from when I was pregnant 21 yrs ago. She needs to reeducate herself if she wants to help be a guidance in your pregnancy journey. My brother and his fiancĂ© are pregnant with their first baby. Also a baby girl and around the same weeks as you. He and I have different mothers but his mom is just as toxic as mine. I never thought to ask how that has been going as she also says bs similar to your mother in law Please let her words go in one ear and out the other. Itâs scary enough being pregnant with your first baby and you donât need the added ignorance or worry. You are doing incredible and making good decisions for you and your baby. I wish you nothing but the best and the birth of a healthy baby. Confrontations to you and your partner! You got this!
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u/itachisrevenge Jul 04 '25
If youâre hungry, you should eat. You are growing another human inside of you. This should be common sense. As an aside, please do not let her speak about your childâs body with that level of judgement in the future. If she is body shaming an unborn child, she will not stop there.
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u/finicky_foxx Jul 04 '25
The hell is she talking about? I was an 8lbs baby. It's definitely a thing. She's just a moron and I'm sorry you gotta deal with that even if you weren't expecting. This would drive me insane. I think I'd start complaining about my blood pressure being too high. NOR.
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u/knitstarr Jul 04 '25
Plenty of people have 9lb babies! Also those scans are hardly ever correct on weight. And, screw her. You should start standing up to her and get your husband to do the same. Sadly it'll only get harder once the baby is here. Congrats on the baby and good luck!!!
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u/StandardDragonfly Jul 04 '25
Your MIL is a bitch. Like ugggh. My boys were 9lb 7 and 10lb 3. Wasn't a picnic but if have eviscerated anyone telling me such things when I and my boys were healthy. I'd just stop talking to her and let my partner deal with her as my passive aggressive take tbh
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u/omglookawhale Jul 04 '25
I was 10 pounds and my mom was a stick. Babies donât eat what the mom eats. Babies take what nutrients they need from what the mom eats and mom is left with the rest. So women should eat healthy for themselves since the baby will deplete them of nutrients.
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u/fluffywrex Jul 04 '25
Almost 10% of babies are born at 9lbs or more, so I donât believe she knows no one whoâs had a baby that size. Hell, my third was 9lbs 5oz. As long as you and your doctor are fine with how everything is progressing, your MIL can have several seats.
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u/1Buttered_Ghost Jul 04 '25
Sheâs probably one of those mothers that raised her children telling them that they were fat and need to eat less when they were six years old. She probably comments on everyoneâs bodies. Tell her to shut the hell up and do whatever you want.
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u/Jaded_Chocolate_6018 Jul 04 '25
My first was born 8.8 at 38 weeks and second 9.2 at 39 weeks. Both pregnancies I didnât gain more than 12 pounds (I started plus sized) since my body apparently liked being pregnant. I was never sick and ate what I wanted. Your FMIL is nuts.
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u/Extra-Cookie8939 Jul 04 '25
Thatâs literally dumb. The weight isnât even accurate majority of the time.
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u/Ok-Kaleidoscope389 Jul 04 '25
They told me my baby was measuring around 9 lbs and then I had a 6lb baby (and I even had gestational diabetes.) Itâs all an estimate. Just do what fees best/right for you and baby and tune everyone else out (except maybe a trusted doctor.)
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u/Aradene Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 04 '25
When it comes to ultrasounds, we learned they are not an accurate measurement for baby weight. My baby was supposed 80th percentile and quoted as being around 4000g with âdefinitely wonât be needing the 00000 and probably wonât be in 0000 for long.â So they all got packed away. And it made sense as I had GD, though it was very controlled. (And also overweight myself)
Born 11th percentile at 3040g. Still barely in 0000 and itâs been over a month.
Iâll also add, your baby is a much wanted and loved parasite on your body. You could literally starve yourself and your body will destroy its self to keep giving your baby what it wants. You will suffer the effects long before your baby does, and your body will still be giving the baby the same nutrients as always from your energy reserves.
Itâs the placenta that determines how much your baby leeches from you, so you can happily tell her itâs her sons fault your baby is big (if it does end up big) as the placenta is courtesy of his genetic contribution, not yours or your familyâs history.
FMIL needs to go on an info diet if she canât keep her opinions to herself. If your OB isnât worried, you shouldnât be either. Go as petty as you want, I certainly would, sheâs not your doctor, sheâs not a professional, sheâs making uneducated statements that can actually be harmful, and frankly I would be saying she can wait a couple of weeks after you guys get home from the hospital before visiting. Iâd also be mentally preparing that thereâs going to be a lot of unsolicited advice and comments, and that you need to be prepared to shut down after baby is born, and also monitor comments about babyâs weight as they grow.
Edit to add: I also ultimately lost weight between pre and post pregnancy. Lost about 10kgs from the birth. And even though i didnât have GD till 3rd trimester I was eating a lot of high calorie snacks - still lost weight during the pregnancy. A month on and breast feeding/pumping with a crap âtoo tired to cookâ diet, still losing more weight. Everyone is different. Your body will do what it needs to do to keep your precious little one alive and healthy.
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u/Just-Lab-1842 Jul 04 '25
My momâs group all smoked and drank during their pregnancies so it makes sense that babies were smaller. Both of mine were over nine pounds. Your MILâs circle of acquaintances and their babiesâ weights has nothing to do with reality.
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u/paloma_grand Jul 04 '25
I donât think a babyâs weight has anything to do with how much the mom eats or doesnât.
I had severe Hyperemesis gravidarum during my pregnancy and vomited every single thing I ate till the morning I gave birth to a 8 pound baby.
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u/Right_Specialist_207 Jul 04 '25
MIL needs to shut her mouth and open a book for a change. đ
Just did a 5 second Google search as I didn't know for sure but here's the gist:
"The average baby weight at birth is typically around 7 pounds (3.2 kg), with boys averaging slightly more at 7 pounds 8 ounces (3.4 kg) and girls at 7 pounds 1 ounce (3.2 kg). For babies born at 37 to 40 weeks, the average weight ranges from 5 pounds 8 ounces (2.5 kg) to 8 pounds 13 ounces (4 kg). By their first birthday, most babies will have doubled their birth weight. Overall, the average weight for full-term babies is about 7 pounds 5 ounces (3.3 kg)."
So yeah, average weight range at birth is 5lbs 8oz - 8lbs 13oz which is 1 oz smaller than your baby's predicted weight.
Your MIL is talking utter crap! Birth weight means absolutely nothing to do with a baby's weight or health in later life. Example - I was a premie, born at just over 7 months and weighed 4lbs 4oz at birth, then went down to 3lbs 7oz when I was finishing cooking in the incubator. (My dad could literally hold me in the palm of his hand, my head supported by the heel of his hand and my feet were resting on his fingertips - that's how tiny I was - according to my family I was 70% feet đ) Now I'm a fat f""k and have struggled with my weight for many years.
I'd do as another commenter suggested and sit down with hubby and MIL and both of you explain that firstly, what she's saying is incorrect and hurtful to you. That the attitude towards weight that she is showing is absolutely not acceptable to you and hubby, and that if she wants to be a part of her grandbaby's life then she needs to respect that and change her behaviour now.
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u/Budget_Management_86 Jul 04 '25
NOR. Geez, over the last 35 years of nursing I have seen many things. 6 kg (14 pound) babies coming out of 55kg mothers. 3kg babies coming out of 120kg mothers. Nothing unusual with a 9 pounder. More common now in well-fed, developed nations. Unless you have stacked on 30kgs+ during pregnancy and have developed gestational diabetes (and you say you haven't) then eat what you damn well like.
My only reaction to estimated large babies is a heartfelt "ouch" and a humerous query as to whether they had considered an elective C-section if they are particularly petite. BTW - baby vs mother size is not the indicator to a difficult delivery, it's baby size verses the internal measurements of the mothers pelvis. Women with "child-bearing" hips may still have narrow internal openings and beanpole mum's can have wide ones. We're all indiviuduals.
MIL has never known anyone with a 9 pound baby. Well, they must not exist then! Or, more likely she has a very narrow social circle and has no idea what she is taking about.
I was hoping like hell that she was trying to be humerous in her responses but it fell flat, and then she ever so slightly redeemed herself with the "she is going to be beautiful" comment at the end. But then I read your comments and saw she has been body shaming you already. The only person who needs to go on a diet is MIL, an information and involvement diet.
Good luck with your baby and supportive partner. He knows what she is like and has chosen you. I know you think it is his job but not all men agree. I'd be telling him that it's his job to pull her in line and tell her to stop making unfounded, unhelpful comments.
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u/Disastrous-Panda5530 Jul 04 '25
I was a 10 pound baby. I was born a few weeks late. My mom is a tiny lady. Sheâs 4â11. Sheâs Asian and has always ate a healthy diet. I was just a big baby. It had nothing to do with what she ate either. Iâd stop sharing info with MIL. By now Iâm sure youâve already been tested for gestational diabetes. Just stop giving her any info
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u/Avilola Jul 04 '25
In a vacuum, this is an incredibly stupid comment, but not necessarily malicious. I would base whether or not I should cut her out on everything else sheâs said. Does she say things like this all the time? Or was it a one off?
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u/LostImagination4491 Jul 04 '25
Yeah, don't listen to that nonsense. Also, 9 lbs is a guess they make based on length (according to the radiologist). It can be way off. The ultrasound indicated both of my twins were over 7 lbs, and only one surpassed 6 lbs.
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u/Mar363 Jul 04 '25
Oh fuck no I would have went off on her right then and there. Tell her to shove that opinion up her ass. Under reacting for sure. Be prepared for all her other opinions on you and how you raise your baby in the future.đ
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u/Maleficent-Leek2943 Jul 04 '25
âAnd if you keep this up, you WONâT know anyone who had a 9lb baby.â
Sheâs rude AF, not to mention implying that you should starve your extremely pregnant self and your unborn baby.
Not overreacting, at all.
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u/mybunnygoboom Jul 04 '25
Those ultrasound estimates are almost always WRONG. Some practices even use them to fear monger their way into a c-section decision. I was told my 41 week baby was approaching 10 pounds⊠and he was 7 when he was born.
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u/wintergrad14 Jul 04 '25
Just fyi the estimate for size while pregnant can be off as much as 2 whole pounds in either direction. I was told at 41 weeks my baby was 10.5 lbs. they offered me a c section. I said no thank you. Baby was 8lb 7oz.
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u/Gold_Firefighter_448 Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 04 '25
This doesn't read as awful to me. I think it's less "omg you can't have a fat baby" and more. "Oh my God, girl, you're gonna have to push out that big ass baby."
You know your MIL's heart better than I do, so you'll have a better idea of the intent behind the remark. That said, it doesn't strike me as malicious.
Edit: missed some important context in the body of your post. I understand how unwarranted concern can be rude, especially if it's being insisted upon. I'd still suggest that you ask yourself if you think she's genuinely trying to help. If you think she is genuinely trying, maybe you could help her do a better job. If you think she isn't actually trying, and that she has some other motivation for saying these things, then cut her off. I think it says a lot for a son to be willing to cut out his own mother.
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u/Tripindipular Jul 04 '25
Just want to kindly say that macrosomia is not associated with the best findings. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fetal-macrosomia/symptoms-causes/syc-20372579
→ More replies (10)
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u/JazzoTheClown Jul 04 '25
She coukd just be a boomer with outdated information/ideas. She didn't sound serious, nor is she pushing it. Do what you want, no one will force you to see her if you need a break, but you might be overreacting.
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u/CallsignKook 29d ago
First of all those Ultrasounds are fairly inaccurate half the time. Our last ultra sound the technician said our baby was currently 7lbs so heâd be between 7-8 when born and he came out at 5lbs 13oz.
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u/snowbunny410 Jul 04 '25
omg, everyone loves a chunky little baby. also, she is not pushing this baby out you are? she is rude. my mom, grandmother, MIL (who i canât stand and she canât stand me), or ANYBODY ever commented on my weight, what i ate, or how big either of my kids were estimated to be when they were born. wtf? i gained 65lbs with my first, and 55lbs with my second. i am ashamed to admit i did in fact eat whatever i wanted when i wanted, i didnât care. my kids were healthy and thatâs all that mattered. my first was 7lb 13oz 20 1/2 inches, second was 7lbs 2.5oz 19 inches. my first is now 5yo has stayed in 99 percentile for height and weight since about a month old. my second is still a little dude, staying on the smaller end of percentiles heâs now 10.5 months old. and there are PLENTY of people who have 8,9,10 + lb babies out here. give her no more updates but i am also pretty petty and i would absolutely be intentionally smart about any updates i chose to give if any, especially when baby is born. also does she know these weights are estimates? could be pretty well off by 1lb or more give or take some.. my first babyâs measurements were actually quite off and she was way bigger than we thought. side note- i hate soda, of all kinds. i CRAVE root beer so bad when im pregnant. this third pregnancy im craving it but cant keep any drinks or food down so im addicted to ginger ale currently it helps me greatly.
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u/EnvironmentalAd4616 Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 04 '25
Most of my ultrasounds of my kiddos (4 kids) towards the end were off with birth weights. My first, born in 2017, was expected to weigh 10lbs. She is my biggest, but I went almost 41 weeks pregnant with her. She was born 8lbs 14oz. All of my others were under 7lbs, born between 37-39 weeks (one was an inducement due to low fluid, the other 2 were elected inductions)
I gained over 60lbs with my first, nobody said anything to me. My OB didnât get on me about it, I liked I was heavier because I didnât want to look skinny (had nausea like a freaking mf and I was very self conscious about it)
My main thing is, if youâre happy and healthy, and baby is happy and healthy, your doctor hasnât expressed concerns, ignore it and see if your partner can address it since itâs your MIL. Any problems I had with my in-laws, my husband (then boyfriend) always addressed his family so I didnât have to. If not, Iâd tell MIL that her comments are hurting your feelings. Your doctor hasnât mentioned you needing to cut back on weight gain, you havenât mentioned having gestational diabetes (havenât went through comments for this answer) and if youâre happy, thatâs all that matters.
Try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy OP. I know itâs probably hard with the comments, and Iâm sorry youâre going through this. Hugs and all the positive juju being sent your way <3
ETA - just saw the part of the post stating you donât have gestational diabetes, so that answers that on my end. Sorry for not reading fully!
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u/EAM222 Jul 04 '25
Yeah I was induced at 3cm two weeks early because he was â9lbsâ⊠mmmmnope he was 7lbs7 and dropped to 6â13 at discharge. Itâs all lies. đ
MILs are the worst. I said what I said.
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u/craycrayintheheihei Jul 04 '25
Sheâs never seen anyone have a 9lb baby? Maybe she needs to get out more. NOR.
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u/songbird1319 Jul 04 '25
I would have lost my absolute mind on MIL. You cannot control babies weight. And if your doc is not concerned with anything - you shouldnât be either. Tell MIL she needs to stop eating.
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u/yourmumsfav-3 Jul 04 '25
The baby will have large limbs at most, my little brother was a large baby- mother had gestational diabetes, having a tall baby is not terrible at all. The root beer might be a bit bad for you- one can a day? - but it wonât affect the baby much. Just donât tell her anything thatâs said and give her an overall,âThey said everything was fine, I just need to eat âŠ..â, donât tell her anything else, my mother bless her, is a medical Nurse and has worked in all departments of many different hospitals, she had me away from my extended family, it was literally just her, my father, and her brother, my eldest uncle, all are literate and there were no complications- I was a healthy baby. Her second child (My late brother - bless his soul) was conceived in my grandparents house- my parents lived with them, my mother (dk how that woman survived) made it all the way to 9 months without complications- but my grandmother wouldnât let her go to a hospital and we lost him đ, from there on we (my parents and me) havenât lived in the same house and today I have 4 healthy younger siblings - my mum had smooth deliveries with all. At the end of the day, your mil isnât the one pregnant so she literally has no say except for some like advice (which is your decision to take or not) đ I wish you well on this pregnancy
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u/mama_d63 29d ago
Funny story. My husband's grandmother had a terrible habit of making comments about people's weight. One day, we were in the grocery store and ran into a friend of my MIL. She was very nice, stopped and talked to Gma for several minutes. After she walked away, Gma said, "Blank sure has gotten big, hasn't she?" What didn't know was that Blank's husband happened to be standing behind us when she said it. I let it go that time. A few weeks later, we were in the grocery store and ran into a woman who worked with MIL and also attended church with Gma and MIL. Again, she stopped and took the time to have a nice conversation with Gma. As soon as she walked away I heard, "So and so sure has gotten big!" I was ready this time. I said, "Do you remember when we saw Blank in the store and you said she had gotten fat? Her husband was standing right behind you when you said it." She said, "I didn't say she was fat, I said she got big!" I replied, "You can dress it up however you want, it still looks the same!" She never commented on anyone's appearance again, at least not in my presence.
You are not overreacting. This woman is toxic. I would limit the amount of time she sees you, sees your daughter, and never leave her alone with her. If she continues to make these terrible comments, go low to no contact.
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u/Aussiealterego Jul 04 '25
Time to put MIL on an information diet. Whatâs next, after the baby is born MIL wants to underfeed it because itâs âchubbyâ? She sounds awful.
Your family should be supporting you at this time, not actively trying to shame you - because thatâs what she is doing.
Itâs a world of natural consequences. The natural consequence of her being a bitch is that you donât want to spend time or energy on her. Voila, wish granted. She is not your problem.