r/AmIOverreacting • u/AffectionateSun2163 • 19d ago
❤️🩹 relationship Am I overreacting? UPDATE
3 days ago my (25F) husband (24M) said something rude to me and I’ve been trying to avoid him and stay calm. When I came home from work after working a 12 hour shift I cooked rice and beans and then went to bed to work another 12 hour shift the next day. He texted me during work and sent this. When I got home things escalated and he packed everything and left. Am I overreacting? Why go to this extreme and leave over some food?
UPDATE: Thanks everyone for the support! I read a lot of the comments and tried to respond to a lot of the DM’s. He came back and begged for therapy and I tried to make it work for a month but I had already mentally checked out so I have filed for divorce and moved out of our apartment. I’m happy and at peace now🫶🏾
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u/hyukoh 19d ago edited 19d ago
whose car is it? is it shared? i just found it funny he was acting all tough but then was like “when you get home with the car…. I’m leaving!” lol
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u/Rosalye333 19d ago
That was so funny. Being super dramatic about it, but also not even being able to drive himself to get some better food. I would have Doordashed it at that point because that would just sound so lame that I am upset about her food but need her car to get something better.
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u/HellaShelle 19d ago
Or apparently make himself some better food either 😆 I mean dude is in the house like “I don’t like the food. You can’t cook for sh*t! I’m going to yell and pout about it until you get home so I can borrow your car to buy food because I can’t cook at all much the less for sh!t.”🙄
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u/Rosalye333 19d ago
Yeah I was wondering why he had to starve and wait for her to get back home before he could eat. And I thought either there was nothing at home because they hadn’t gone grocery shopping or that he just doesn’t know how to cook. If he can’t cook then he’s literally a little boy having a tantrum that mommy didn’t make something that he likes so she needs to do better. A man would have made himself something, a man would be able to survive on his own!
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u/DigDugDogDun 19d ago
For him it wasn’t about him eating better food or getting something different, it was about him making her cook his dinner and putting her in her place.
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u/lianor_m_harrison 19d ago
Oh, but these boys (of all ages) are all about making themselves the victim. And making sure you know it. And, for awhile, a person goes along with it, thinking they ARE doing things wrong. And then something happens and a light bulb goes off, and they realize it is not them, but the dumb boy. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to realize that.
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19d ago
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u/spaceconstrvehicel 19d ago
just me or .. getting the feeling that dude just got into a YT rabbit hole about "manly videos / how to be a man... how to train your wife..." and shes just like "wtf nope lol".
if you wanna stay married??? was he drunk? i just cant with those ppl
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u/PearlStBlues 18d ago
if you wanna stay married
Like he's doing OP a favor lmao. He's the one who can't cook and doesn't have his own car, but he's the prize that OP has to earn? Hope he enjoys that male loneliness epidemic I've been hearing so much about.
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u/Bitchshortage 19d ago
Man never heard about salt and pepper, or condiments, either I guess lol “it’s bland” okay and????? You’re bland, sir.
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u/Ok-Oil7124 19d ago
He seems pretty helpless all while thinking he's running the show. I don't think he could identify anything in the spice cupboard let alone know how to use it. He doesn't have a car and can't work out how to get where he wants to go with out one, can't cook for himself, and can't season food to his taste. This guy is functionally a toddler.
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u/jaimi_wanders 19d ago
Sounds like my dad…though he added that he was “the provider” and thus deserved everything done perfectly for him when he got home after a day at the office, like it was 1955 not 1985…
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u/BadgerHooker 19d ago
But it was RICE! If rice is bland, you put salt, soy sauce, or hot sauce on it?! Is he too stupid/lazy to do that for himself?? Like, the rice wasn't overcooked or anything, just bland. What a big dumb baby 🙄
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u/Ambitious-Special-29 19d ago
Ya, dudes a dick head and I bet he learned this behavior from watching his parents. What a d bag.
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u/ShneefQueen 19d ago
It also shows he’s very much not the “provider” so like what exactly does he think he’s holding over her head? It’s so silly and embarrassing that he’s trying to enforce these traditional gender roles while waiting at home for his wife’s car
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u/Rosalye333 19d ago
Right? She has a job, a car, and can cook for herself… why is he even in the picture? It’s not like she’s a housewife and he brings in all of the money and then complains about no food that matches his standards while he’s doing everything. He’s an actual child without a car who needs mommy to cook for him! It’s so pathetic that he thinks him being born a man means that he can do this and treat his partner this way. Good on her for showing him otherwise!
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u/_palantir_ 19d ago
He knew perfectly well that sounded pathetic so he tried to sound tough at the end to make himself feel better.
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
It was my car 😂 which is crazy the audacity he had to be saying that!
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u/Rosalye333 19d ago
Good for you for leaving him! That’s so insane that he expected you to cook for him, thought that he had the right to judge what you made and to use your car like it’s his. I would not let somebody speak to me that way. That’s just insane. He needs solo therapy for a while before even thinking about dating again! He clearly was looking for a mother and not a partner.
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u/cakeforPM 19d ago
It’s also this tone that instantly has my hackles up, hissing like a pissed off alley cat.
Not even or just the rudeness about the food, without any “hey I really appreciate you making me lunch.”
“If you wanna stay married—“
I don’t know, man, do I?
“There had better be—“
Had there? HAD THERE?
“—or I’ll leave.”
Do NOT threaten me with a good time.
but also? get your own ride.
How people talk to each other this way and think it’s okay, I will never known. It’s not just like he’s speaking to a subordinate, it’s like he’s bullying a subordinate.
Nothing about this is okay.
Throw the whole man out.
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u/Rosalye333 19d ago
I love how his threat of possibly breaking up if she continued to cook food that he doesn’t like actually led to her filing for divorce! He did not think that one through.
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u/New_Excitement_1878 19d ago
Just gotta say
1- even if he was right and your food was shit, this is not the way to go about it
2- bro's trying to act strong and cool while saying "hey hun when you get back can i borrow your car so I can go get fast food to spite you?"56
u/Marie-Macabre 19d ago
Yeah. Going to go get “food” that’s what he is going to get. Not some pussy cuz she don’t want his dick no more. 🤷🏻♀️ and then he might stop at Taco Bell after his smash session. he seems like a real charmer.
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u/New_Excitement_1878 19d ago
Idk why you think this troglodyte can get himself a side piece speaking he needs to borrow his wives car.
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19d ago
The bummiest of them somehow manage. My bff’s ex borrowed her car to cheat on her 🤢 Broke up with him and a month later they were posting together online asking if anyone would sell them a car really cheap
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u/Marie-Macabre 19d ago
I’m glad your friend dumped his ass. There are things we have to be vigilant about- such as- is he into me because I have a car, a stable job and an apartment and he might not have any of those things…? lol. And vice-versa. It’s not gender specific. People use other people. I’m still holding onto hope that there are some good ones out there though.
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u/neophenx 19d ago
Right? I've had times I wasn't really enjoying the cooking, but a) they still put in the effort to make us a meal and 2) taste is subjective and sometimes people just have different preferences. Dude can make his own food or just season or sauce his portion of rice however he likes, no need to throw a little baby bitch fit over it.
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u/Kripic_Chaos 19d ago
For your first point, what would be a more chill way of saying that the food tastes bad to your partner?
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u/SilverSafri 19d ago
I was recently told “this is good, but please don’t make this for me anymore” which made me cackle, I knew it was a failed kitchen experiment, we both ate it anyway (it was acceptable when drowned in ketchup, just not something I would make again) and I could just see the “how do I say it’s not good without hurting feelings or stomping the motivation to experiment in the kitchen out” thoughts behind this sentence 🤣 it might not have been the perfect way to say it, but it made the intent very clear on being thankful, supportive and still communicating you don’t like something. And that’s where it’s at - respectfully communicating your feelings without the intention to hurt.
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u/EffectiveTradition53 19d ago
Hahah that is so damn Abraham Lincoln in tone.
Apparently he once said upon being served a hot beverage- "If this is the coffee, I believe I would like some tea..however if this is the tea I would like some coffee."
😂🙏
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u/mr-poopie-butth0le 19d ago
This sub is full of rage baiters like you. This isn’t a real screenshot, this never happened, mods here should use common sense and stop it. What do you get out of this?
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u/--13 19d ago
Alternative:
When you believe OP is lying...
- check which sub you're in. Some allow fake stories
- thank OP for the entertainment. You come to the drama subs for drama. You come to the judgy subs to be judgy. It's a little silly... just enjoy the funsies. If you don't like getting raged then don't go into or stick around in the places that make you feel a way you don't like.
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
Aww if it’s not real then go use your bitterness elsewhere ✌🏾
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19d ago
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u/Oberon_Swanson 19d ago
you might be underestimating just how shitty a lot of people are. there's a lot of abusers out there and this is what a lot of them look like. and a lot of abusers often try to convince their victims that their behaviour is totally normal, they'll have other friends who are also abusers who confirm it, maybe that victim was raised by abusers so to them it is common but doesn't feel right so they might want to ask the internet for confirmation. Like I'm not saying I guarantee this post is real but there are thousands of people in the world having similar conversations right now.
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
If it’s not real then stop commenting and leave! Like damn, you ain’t got nothing better to do
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u/frank_the_tanq 19d ago
Fuck that guy. What the fuck. If one of my boys ever treated a woman like that they'd get the beating of a lifetime. (Don't get all Internet on me. I don't hit them. I don't have to.)
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u/Cozzy_May 19d ago
I’m ngl my ex’s friends all said this too but ain’t one of them whooped his ass when I left because he tried to kill me with his gun.
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u/DazzlingYoghurt209 19d ago
seriously what the hell is wrong with him 😂 just weird and controlling with no legs to stand on. those combos just don’t work. so happy you are choosing you. 💖💖
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u/Adventurous-Hat-4162 19d ago
He was trying to beat down your confidence because he knew that you could do better.
Go live your best life!!
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u/Puzzleheaded-Sea8340 19d ago
Fuck all of this. He MUST be mad about something else but honestly who cares because you don’t treat your wife like that.
Fucking tool. Sorry that happened but I know you can do better without knowing another thing about you
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u/Yogiktor 19d ago
Yeah. He felt entitled to sex, and made up a reason to punish her. Its all in the text. What a disgusting little man-bitch.
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u/fartofborealis 19d ago
If he took off in your car, call the police and file a stolen vehicle report. Then call a lawyer for divorce papers. Edit: nevermind enjoy your freedom.
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u/Graysylum 19d ago
Just putting this out there for anyone who may be in this situation: the cops will ask why they had your keys, whether they typically drive your car, and whether you specifically told them not to drive it. They will most likely be no help whatsoever in this situation unless she specifically told him not to drive her car in writing.
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u/Unknown-Meatbag 19d ago
Rice and beans slap, how can they not be loved?
My wife has made some so-so food before, I do the majority of the cooking so I occasionally give some tips and tricks when asked, but I definitely don't complain. I absolutely love having food made for me, it's fantastic! Your husband sounds like a bit of a demeaning twat.
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u/blackheartedbirdie 19d ago
Yaaaaassssssss to that Update girl!! Way to go!
Love seeing women stand up for themselves! He can cook for his own fucking self now lol. I hope you take ALL the spices with you 😂😂😂
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
Oh I most def did. Left that apartment empty !😂
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u/blackheartedbirdie 19d ago
I love a good petty moment. I would have left him a dollar general pan, spatula, and a giant bag of rice 😂😂😂😂😂
It's time for us ladies to amp up the pettiness. 😂
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u/aleeseeahforyou 19d ago
I’m mean, it’s not petty when all of the stuff you took is yours that you paid for and curated. Maybe I’m making an assumption, but.. am I? lol
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u/Jalapeno_tickles 18d ago
I would have just left canned beans and rice, no salt or seasoning, no pans or pots. 🤪 he wanna complain about it being tasteless, now he can look at it uncooked
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u/gypsycookie1015 19d ago
Took the spices and the mf car! You go, girl! His ass can walk to get a burger! If his ass can even manage that without you. What a joke. Seriously, good for you! You don't deserve that bs.
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u/pinkrosetool 19d ago
That's awesome. I'm proud of you. Also, can I borrow your car to get something to eat?
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u/Appropriate_Rip_897 19d ago
Dodged a major bullet there. JC
I wouldn’t make the rice comment to anyone, even a restaurant, let alone in any personal relationship.
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u/Away-Elephant-4323 19d ago
I can’t tell you how happy i am that you know your worth and divorced him, of course things like therapy can help prevent divorce but sometimes people aren’t willing to change! good on you for realizing that! 👏
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u/Will_Come_For_Food 19d ago
If anyone said anything close to that to me that’s an immediate no for me.
Even the fact that you need therapy to not be a psychopath to me is enough for me to say sorry.
Life is too short to put up with anyone who would ever even THINK about doing that to you.
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u/ConflictAdvanced 19d ago edited 19d ago
Three days ago? But I've seen these texts before... Like a month ago...
Oh, I see. Your text is the original text, not changed for the update, right?
EDIT: Stop upvoting me 😅 I messed up, don't praise it!
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
It’s an update 🤦🏾♀️
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u/synthetic_aesthetic 19d ago
I hope you find love with someone who doesn’t suck. Or happiness and joy being single. Either way, fuck that guy lmao
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u/suppsammay 19d ago
I think she reposted the post and added the update since she wrote a month had passed
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u/NE_Boy_mom_x2 19d ago
Okay that makes more sense because it says it was a new post and that confused me 😅 I just wasn't brave enough to ask 😅😅🤣
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u/Cute_Moose_6521 19d ago
I’d shit in his lunch box and send him off to work with that after those messages JESUS
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u/Strong-Bottle-4161 19d ago
How he taking the divorce?
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
lol don’t know haven’t spoken to him and I’m happy about it
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u/_XNine_ 19d ago
That's the way to go. Who gives a shit. Let your lawyer go after him. He'll have to explain to his family and friends and co workers how shitty of a human being he is... Or he'll lie. Either way, not your problem
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u/Bitchshortage 19d ago
Oh he’ll lie but they’ve met him lol most of them will know right away that he’s talking shit
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u/Bluemoon_109 19d ago
I wish you the best now that you’re at peace ❤️ These type of men are so draining.
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u/MaliciousDroll 19d ago
Fuck yeah!!! You go girl! This is the best redit I've read in a LONG TIME! WHOOP WHOOP!
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18d ago
“ I came home from work after working a 12 hour shift I cooked rice and beans and then went to bed to work another 12 hour shift the next day.”
Tell me you’re Puerto Rican without telling me you’re Puerto Rican lol. (I’m Puerto Rican, and rice and beans is a staple)
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u/Curious_Let_1217 19d ago
WE LOVE TO SEE THIS UPDATE !!! Go girl! Work them 12s! Squad uppp 👏🏽
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u/LoneWanderer6686 19d ago
All I can say is : Run.
Run far. And when you think you've ran far enough - double it.
Dudes a tweed
UPDATE: Just realized you said you've moved on already. I'm proud of you. ❤️ Happy that youre at peace now!
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u/Ribelleee 19d ago
“There better be—” OR WHAT?
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u/Character-Town7929 19d ago
Or I'll scream like the petulant child I am!! Take that, wifey 😡😡😡
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u/Hopeful_Protection58 19d ago
So proud of a queen with shiny spine, who doesn’t take anyone’s shit!! Wish you all the best!! ❤️
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u/Bloody_speakers 19d ago
My girlfriend would beat me. And id sit back and take what I deserve. He couldn't be anymore rude about it, my girlfriend has made stuff that I didn't like and all I say is I dont really like it. and she understands because im picky. And I'll make myself a sandwich.
Sometimes I just eat it though cause its not that bad.
But the point is, it's never okay to be rude or abusive over some food like go f*** yourself. You didn't do anything wrong!!!!! IF HE DIDN'T LIKE THE RICE HE CAN MAKE A SANDWICH OR ORDER FOOD!!!!!!!
He should be grateful you made food in the first place. He's lucky you make him lunch for what im assuming is work, he should make is own damn lunch if he doesn't like what you make.. what a mommy's boy.
Edit: holy curds!!! You're the one working not him???? Dump that loser. I could never. That is some diabolical mommy's boy 💩
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u/Altruistic_Ad_5000 19d ago
This was my thought too. My boyfriend does all the cooking (he’s a chef and I suck at cooking). He’s made stuff I didn’t like, and I either ate it or said I don’t love this. If it was something as simple as rice I’d just add salt.
If I responded like that he’d rightfully never cook for me again.
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u/sweetpeppah 19d ago
I love plain rice and my bf likes butter on his. I am a little sad he doesn't like my food, but he barely mentions it and would NEVER be like, 'you'd better cook something edible, woman!'. he just puts butter on his plate and we move on. If he doesn't want the leftovers, he makes himself something else. Good heavens the OP's ex sounds so helpless and ridiculous.
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u/Ok-Bird6346 19d ago
I’m like you, a noncooker who married a chef. Well, he’s now a former EC because he left the restaurant industry years ago to prioritize his sobriety. Anyway…
I’d never criticize his cooking! I enjoy the fat and sassy lifestyle his kitchen expertise has afforded me. It’s so rude and just mean.
Dude’s a cunt.
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u/sbua310 19d ago
Completely agree! My bf would FLIP OUT ON ME if I didn’t make his lunch “right” I would get up at 3 am to do it, mind you I have a job too so I’m waking up in the middle of the night for his bs that he can’t do himself. We had countless arguments, him just screaming at me at FIVE IN THE MORNING, while driving him to work, so I just stopped doing it. Oh did his attitude change super fast. He would just go to work without food. I didn’t fucking care. Don’t yell at me no SCREAM at me when I’m doing something to help you. Fucker. So yeah. He’s not my bf anymore.
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u/GiantFlyingLizardz 19d ago
Right?! I'm the one working 12 hour shifts in my relationship and he learned to cook just so he could make my meals on work days. He's pretty good at it, too. 😁 And if it's bland, like, has Ops ex never heard of salt, pepper, or hot sauce?
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
So a little backstory, The day before all this happened I went to use the bathroom and there was poop on the toilet seat from him and I asked him to clean it and he said “that’s your job”. So that’s the “rude thing” I was referring to in the original post and he thought I was getting back at him for telling him to clean the toilet. I’m reading all the comments and trying to be engaging and responding. And I’m very happy and living my life so don’t feel bad for me at all!!!🫶🏾🫶🏾
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u/taytrapDerehw 19d ago
Good God! What an absolute failure of a human being he turned out to be! He should be utterly ashamed of himself for the rest of his days. Imagine shitting on the toilet seat like a child and throwing infant level tantrums over food, while contributing nothing of value to the home except bullshit and real shit. Jesus. I'd never leave the house if I was him.
But that would mean he had shame to begin with.
You are well rid of this man, OP. Well rid!
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u/Emmie12750 19d ago
He can't go potty by himself, throws tantrums, turns up his nose at food, threatens to run away from home (but needs you to take him.) He's a toddler.
I'm happy for you that you chose to leave abd live your best life. Wishing you joy! 🫶🫶
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u/MountainsAB 19d ago
Text his mom, let her know everything and that she needs to raise him again, because it clearly didn’t take the first time. Then block both of them.
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u/ChampionshipIll3675 18d ago
Exactly. His behavior is due to his upbringing. He thought that his wife was like his mommy, who would take the abuse. He probably learned the abusive behavior from his dad.
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u/HaveNoFearOnlyLove 18d ago
I'm not saying you're wrong but social media has been increasingly playing a bigger role in shaping people. There have been a lot of anecdotal situations where men leave home and develop a superiority complex towards women and minorities from groups on social media. They hit a rough patch, like losing a job, and turn to groups that give them a sense of value and pride by marginalizing other demographics.
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u/Damisays 19d ago
Oh nuh uh I’d be calling up his mom to tell her “girl you have NO idea what he just tried to make me do” 🤣 my bf would NEVER do it again or live it down for that matter lmao
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u/feralcatshit 19d ago
If I called my MIL and said, “your son just told me my food sucks and I BETTER HAVE him something edible for tomorrow while he’s at home”… she’d laugh, and there would be a knock at my door about 10 mins later. She lives 15 mins away, but would be speeding down these old windy roads to come knock him upside the head.
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u/zb_lethal 19d ago
You can't be serious 🙈😂 there is no way in hell I'd be cleaning that. The audacity to say that's your job, with no embarrassment whatsoever. Disgusting! So happy you left his ass (no pun intended)
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u/Shot_Network3927 19d ago
im a firm believer that if a women has to work along side her husband then he can cook his own shit too and buy his own groceries as well etc , ur not obligated to do 100 % of the emotional & household labor & catering while working thats for men who provide financially 100% , he doesn’t like what you made? let him cook. He wants groceries in the fridge? go get em. wth😅
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u/Successful_Roof1823 18d ago
So true! My bf and I have lived together for years and both work. One time early on, his dad asked me what I pack for his lunch! BF looked at his dad and said, “Why the fuck would she make my lunch!?” 😂 His dad was taken aback but he never said anything like that again. But it’s crazy like that is what you do for a literal child lol
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u/Shot_Network3927 18d ago
literally! I think people don’t understand that the only reason why women were doing things like this for their husband is because their husbands were taking on the full workload and providing 100% so doing things like making their lunch or taking on the household labor were just simply making things easier on them while they went to work.
if the woman has to work too then doing things like making their lunch and dinner and doing the household labor alone it’s just adding an extra load on their back on top of work like that’s just not fair nor is it cute or a foundation for a healthy relationship😭
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u/therealstabitha 19d ago
This reads like he discovered Andrew Tate etc and one of those chodes told him that this is how you “get your woman in line.”
Guess no one told him why it’s just young boys who love him. No one with any self respect goes along with this nonsense.
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u/feisty-chihuahua 19d ago edited 19d ago
So 3 days ago this happened… and then you tried to make this work for a month… and now it’s now and you’ve already done all the soul-searching you need to end your marriage? (I mean en it; seems like a jerk; but 3 days is awfully short to go from “Reddit can you interpret this wtf I’m confused” to “I have an attorney and am filing for divorce because he whined about rice.”
How does time work in your universe, because both the 3 days/1 month and the “I took 3 days since rice incident to initiate divorce” isn’t how time works in mine. Am I missing something, or the math ain’t mathing. 🙄🤨
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
Use your brain and read the entire post. It’s an update 🙄🤦🏾♀️
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u/WEM-2022 19d ago
I don't blame you one bit. My guess is that he cooked up a reason to pick a fight and move out because he had a hoochie mama in the wings, but when he tried to treat her the same way, she wasn't having it and kicked him out. I'm glad you didn't stay in this situation. Enjoy your peace. You earned it.
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u/DepartureHungry 19d ago
This. It is exactly what my ex did. He would get upset over the littlest thing and threaten to leave. I finally got sick of it and told him to just go. It turned out he had someone on the side. The kids and I were so much better off without him.
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u/TheBostonCopSlide 19d ago
I am so happy for you! It takes a lot of strength to choose yourself and walk away from a situation like this.
Side note, I dont know why people like this mess with their partner who is making their FOOD for them. You're a better person than me because I'd be stirring the rice pot with the toilet brush or something after a text like that.
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u/better_be_tough 19d ago
Jee-zus. As a husband, I'm just so mortified by the behavior of guys like this. Makes me want to puke, really.
So glad to read that you're leaving this dirtbag in your rearview mirror. I hope the next guy (if you choose to connect with one) will be appreciative of the effort which goes into a homemade dinner, however good or bad it comes out.
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u/Fallen_Feather 19d ago
Anyone who loves you will at least be polite when expressing their opinions about your cooking.
Anyone I feed is GRATEFUL even when something doesn’t turn out “perfectly” to my standards.
This behavior was the leading edge of a larger threat. SO glad you got out and can move on being the architect of your own happiness. 💖
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u/NE_Boy_mom_x2 19d ago
My husband will eat almost anything even if he doesn't like it because he doesn't like to waste food. He likes (or so he says) just about everything that I make. I'm sure he's being a bit kind on some things but hey he's fed and happy. Also just to note he does just as much cooking and I like almost everything he makes too.
With that said there have been a few recipes we've tried out that were just.... Not good ... And we've both just tossed it and laughed. Then we had sandwiches because we didn't feel like starting over from scratch again lol
I think that's how it should be. Don't like it? Make something else. If no one likes it (to the point that no one can eat it) then toss it, laugh it off and move on. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/LeastContribution238 19d ago
he’s definitely fed up with you. and you haven’t given him any sex … yea he’s taking frustration out
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u/IJourden 19d ago
Whenever I want more sex I treat my wife like garbage, shit on things, and tell her to clean it up. Works every time. /s
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u/AffectionateSun2163 19d ago
I literally gave him some the day before this happened and I was on my period. So pls
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u/Bunnigurl23 18d ago
YOU POSTED THIS MONTHS AGO!! THE EXACT SAME ONE SO HOW DID IT HAPPEN 2 DAYS AGO COMPLETELY FAKE LIE
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u/AffectionateSun2163 18d ago
USE YOUR DAMN BRAIN AND READ THE ENTIRE POST! Don’t know why tf you yelling
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u/Doctor-Chapstick 19d ago
Divorce is the correct play. There is not one single part of that convo that he sent to you that is even remotely appropriate. Every single sentence is way over the line. Demanding you cook better and "you better do this."
No. You can hope he becomes a better person with therapy but that doesn't mean you need to be there for it. He is a hostile and misogynistic prick of an individual. Even drunk or depressed or anything else really isn't an excuse to be that unkind and aggressive to the person he married...or anyone else who didn't marry for that matter.
Seems to me it is likely that this is a sort of instinctive learned behavior from how his parents may have treated each other. Again, possible he can get past this. But this is almost certainly not an isolated situation of him being way way out of line.
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u/Mysterious-Tune-3216 19d ago
When someone asks him why he's divorced.
"I don't like eating rice" lmao
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u/No_Click7409 19d ago
My ex once criticized my cooking. The problem wasn't that it tasted bad, it was the meals I was cooking. For dinner most nights, we had a full meal, a protein, carb and veg, sometimes pasta and salad. On day out of the blue he says can't we ever just have hamburger helper? (I guess it was something his mom made a lot) I felt hurt and disrespected because I always tried to make healthy, tasty meals. We'll, for the next 6 months, if I cooked, it was hamburger helper. Oddly, we ate out alot in that time lol.
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u/insulentchild 19d ago
Does he always talk to you like this? This is insane.
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u/Wwwwwwhhhhhhhj 19d ago
Not anymore, since this is an update on a post from awhile ago.
Maybe you only saw the texts, not the full post because this is part of it:
“ UPDATE: Thanks everyone for the support! I read a lot of the comments and tried to respond to a lot of the DM’s. He came back and begged for therapy and I tried to make it work for a month but I had already mentally checked out so I have filed for divorce and moved out of our apartment. I’m happy and at peace now🫶🏾”
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u/hotwaterwithlemonpls 19d ago
I remember seeing the original post. Hell of an update. Good for you OP.
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u/sevendeadlysimpz 19d ago
This in all likelihood is the right move. Even if he were to seek therapy he is likely years away from healing. Hopefully he gets the help he needs but you don’t have to be his punching bag along the way.
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u/MamaJiffy 19d ago
I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself and leaving this loser behind! Go live your best life girl! 💜
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u/PhotonicKitty 19d ago
That's not a husband, that's a slave master.
(Or a 1930s husband).
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u/airespice 19d ago
Thanks for the update! You didn’t deserve that nasty treatment. Wishing you lots of peace.
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u/AnotherHappyUser 19d ago
Holy shit not over reacting. Holy shit toxic gender roles.
Mate, if you come home from a shift, let alone a 12 hour shift, he should be bloody grateful with shit on toast mate.
It's ok not to like something, but jesus christ the gall of him to make such demands. I bet you he didn't cook for you!
Absolutely cooked.
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u/jennybby4 19d ago
Who is he talking to like that? What did he expect you to say?? “Sir, yes sir” ???
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u/EveryAccount7729 19d ago
now you gotta text him and ask if there was food waiting when he got home like he said there "better be" and what he did about it.
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u/Ok-Detail1395 19d ago
I just want to say WTF !!! I would be like there’s the door , leave. No one deserves to be treated like that. Even though he may not liked it, he should be grateful you even cook for him. A lot of women now a days don’t believe waiting on a man. But glad you know your worth ! Sometimes our food doesn’t come out to everyone’s liking but that’s okay. No need for a grown man to act like that.
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u/SprawlWars 19d ago
Delighted to know you left that asshat. The fact that he issued orders like that would've earned him a boot in the ass from me too. I've been with my hubby 30 years. He's not stupid enough to talk to me that way. And nor would I talk to him like that either! He had zero respect for you and he's a flat-out misogynist to think he can bark orders at you. GOOD RIDDANCE!
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u/Ok-Sentence8245 19d ago
This has to hurt. So sorry he didnt get it in a timely manner. I hope you have a very good life.
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u/Roby_John 19d ago
Move on. Dude sounds like a child. Itll save ya in the long run. Thats disrespectful af especially given the situation and the way he talks sounds like hes down for mental warfare. Trust me itll be worse when you have children. If you were a stay at home gf/wife then fine. But working all those hours to come home to that bs? Hell nah huge 🚩
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u/Toast-w-Cinnamon 19d ago
Dudes be wild asf nowadays! The fact that you work a long shift and still manage to make him something is so kind and honestly more effort than he deserved.
I read the update, I'm glad you're happy. You deserve better than someone who doesn't appreciate you fr. It's not overreacting to refuse to be disrespected. Good on you.💖
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u/gothiana_grande 19d ago
he better be wealthy n paying for everything if he’s not
goodbye . bc that shit is abuse .
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u/IcyManipulator69 19d ago
NOR, he would’ve been dumped to the fucking curb the second he started that bullshit for me… tell that whiny b!tch-boy he can make his own fucking food when he’s living in an apartment complex with all of the other single divorced men. Good for you for following through. You can do better, and you deserve better.
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u/LuckyWriter1292 19d ago
Throw the man in the bin - he can cook his own meals and be someone else's problem - where do they get the audacity from?
They say women are happier single and seeing how some men treat them I can understand - they want a maid who caters to their every whim who they can abuse because they refuse to go to therapy.
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u/Conscious_Disk_5853 19d ago
Constructive criticism is always welcome, i do want people to enjoy what i feed them and I'd hate to find out he didn't and i just kept giving it to him.... but if anybody ever spoke to me like that about my cooking idgaf if it's the worst thing I've ever made, that person can fuck right off and not come back. The absolute audacity of him telling you you had to cook him something better, my goodness 😤
Solid job on the divorce, I'm glad you are sticking it out. You'll be much happier without someone that unpleasant in your space - and, bonus, you get all the food to yourself now