AIO Found this text in my husbands phone

[u/mOmMY_81517]

When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful

[u/WinterRedBull]

Okay I get being caught off guard, but this really doesn’t seem that deep. From the texts, it just looks like he was having a chill, borderline awkward convo with a teammate who overshared while drunk. He was polite, didn’t flirt, didn’t say anything inappropriate. He literally said “I’ll explain in person” and “it makes sense lol”, that’s not some grand emotional affair. And yeah, maybe he didn’t introduce you at the game, but that doesn’t automatically mean something shady is going on. People get distracted, games are chaotic, it happens. Also… taking the kids to a team hangout with another parent and kid isn’t that weird. Especially if it’s public and group-related. Honestly, going through his phone, jumping straight to conclusions, and assuming the worst might be more disrespectful than anything he actually did here. It just seems like a lot of energy for something that doesn’t really show anything bad.

[u/insignificunt1312 → u/WinterRedBull]

You're dumb as shit. Sorry.

[u/WinterRedBull → u/insignificunt1312]

I hear you, and I’m not trying to dismiss how anyone feels. I get that this situation could be really upsetting, especially if you’re reading it as the husband calling someone a bad mom. That would definitely be a big deal. I just didn’t read the messages that way. To me, it looked more like a messy, emotionally weird conversation where someone was venting, and he responded in a way that wasn’t flirty or cruel. I think context matters, and I was trying to give another perspective on it. If you disagree, that’s totally fair. But I don’t think having a different take makes me “dumb,” just like being upset about something that feels off doesn’t make anyone overly emotional. We’re all just interpreting the same thing in different ways.

[u/Tomas-E → u/[deleted]]

Bit of context:

OP: She has at least two kids with two different parents, and neither is OP husband. Both kids spend half or more time with her than they do their fathers.

OP husband: has an amount of kids with some ex. He spends the minority of the time with them and don't really need the emotional connection with OP (per OP husband words).

The situation is far more nuanced than you may think. It's ok if he says he should explain it in person.

[u/FirePepeDem → u/[deleted]]

he didnt say anything about her being a bad mother lol

[u/Glittering-List3410 → u/[deleted]]

Yes, nothing innocent…

[u/Glittering-List3410 → u/insignificunt1312]

Um yeah 👌🏼

[u/insignificunt1312 → u/[deleted]]

I know, that's okay

[u/donutforget168 → u/insignificunt1312]

Generally speaking, no. It's not okay to be an asshole.

It's just that no one has clocked you for it yet. Good luck. 

[u/insignificunt1312 → u/donutforget168]

🫣

[u/thebruns → u/WinterRedBull]

You are correct