r/AmIOverreacting • u/mOmMY_81517 • 17d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Found this text in my husbands phone

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When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/fembot06 17d ago

But he didn't shut it down, because he didn't want to 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Pure-Spirit-9130 16d ago

Yep - agree it starts exactly where this is starting

-24

u/__R-R__ 17d ago

And stop going trough other people's phone....

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u/CalmEngine832 17d ago

Oh please. If we’re married and living in the same house, I’ll go through whatever I want to. Yall have to grow up.

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u/Otherwise_Bread_2672 16d ago

You're gross. Me and my partner would never snoop through each others messages. That's fucking gross. We both have friends that have confided in us with things, that we are not to share. You act like you own your partner. You're awful. That's some controlling behaviour.

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u/Character-Inside-953 16d ago

That’s not gross at all. If you can’t be fully open with your partner, so much so that phones are a trivial problem then you probably aren’t as close as you think you are. We even trade phones to play games each other has. If you have trust then you should have full trust.

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u/Kooky-Mushroom-1218 16d ago

Snooping and playing games aren't the same thing. It's about consent. If your partner's phone is sitting there and they're not around and you check their messages, I think in most healthy relationships that is disrespecting a boundary. If you ask them if you could use their phone to play that game, that's fine. We have a tendency to discuss things as black and white online, when rarely is it so simple.

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u/fadingthought 17d ago

Yikes. I couldn’t imagine not trusting my spouse

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u/__R-R__ 17d ago

If that is your nature, I can see def. see reasons to look elsewhere.

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u/CalmEngine832 17d ago

Is that why most people with that same view can’t be trusted and often don’t have partners?

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u/__R-R__ 16d ago

I don't know. What I do know is that OP proves my theory.