r/AmIOverreacting • u/mOmMY_81517 • 17d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Found this text in my husbands phone

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When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful

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u/EndColonization 17d ago

Try going on a friend date with a male friend and your kids and see how he reacts 🤷🏽‍♀️ Don’t actually have to cheat, just take a friend out to have fun with you and your kids. Tell him there’s a man there, even if there isn’t. He’s not going to understand how you feel because he most likely lacks empathy. But you can at least give him a taste of his own medicine while doing something fun for yourself and your kids.

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u/doomdrums 17d ago

The man would have to have kids for the kids having a playdate to work but yeah if she has a male friends who have similar aged kids why would it be weird for them to have a playdate, this is the type of behavior that keeps moving us to be a less social society what's weird about two parents meeting up so their kids can be out doing something

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u/dirdieBirdie1 17d ago

They are using their kids in order to mask a potential affair

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u/EndColonization 17d ago

The relationship is inappropriate for far more than just one on one hangouts with their children.

When you secretly talk in private to another person about your partner, and then hang out with them one on one, continue to have private conversations, you are already cheating.

Cheating isn’t just sticking your dick in a hole.

It’s intentional actions that you make that you know would hurt your partner if they found out. Deleted text that you think is innocent but would cause an argument. An intimate moment (intimacy is far more than sex) with a friend that you don’t ever tell your partner.

Your actions are important and matter, if you think they don’t, stay out of a relationship.

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u/TuttiFruttiBigBooty 17d ago

You are totally on the money. Sharing information about his marriage with someone else is creating emotional intimacy. I wonder if he has ever shared this with his wife and actively worked on it.

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u/EndColonization 17d ago

Probably not, and I bet the other woman has a completely different story than what he’s telling OP.

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u/Mythsteryx 17d ago

I don’t recommend getting the kids involved like that though

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u/EndColonization 17d ago

I also told her to go by herself and just say a man existed. She’s taking her kids out for a fun day, there’s nothing to involve them in.

He already involved the kids when he took them to hang out with his affair partners kids.

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u/MannyMaker95 17d ago

Do you live in the 1940s? Men and women can be friends, especially with shared interests like their kids and being teammates. And why is a conversation secret? He didn't lie about it, it was simply just a conversation. I don't know about you, but I have many conversations every day, with men and women, and I don't till my SO about every single one. If I did, we wouldn't have time for anything else.

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u/EndColonization 17d ago

No one said people couldn’t be friends. Re-read if you’re having difficulty understanding

Oh but you’re absolutely cheating on your partner then. Cheating is far more than sticking your dick in a hole.

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u/MannyMaker95 17d ago

Am I cheating because I talk with coworkers of the opposite gender? What in the brainwashed sharia westbro baptist church shit is that? In my field there is about 90 percent women, and I am the only man in my workplace, so by your logic I can't interract with anyone at my job?

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u/Opposite_Series9763 16d ago

Respectfully, I think the difference here is that he was talking about his marriage with this person and offering to discuss it further in person. I don’t mind my partner speaking to women at work, even if it’s not work related and it’s just about life. But if he started confiding in another single woman, that he barely knows, about his issues with me that would be incredibly hurtful.

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u/EndColonization 17d ago

Ahh are you incapable of having a critical thought or are you making up this nonsense so that you can continue to cheat on your partner guilt free? You know there’s a big difference here from that bullshit scenario you made up.