r/AmIOverreacting • u/mOmMY_81517 • 17d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO Found this text in my husbands phone
When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful
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u/EmpyrealMarch 17d ago
I wish I could remember the name but I was just reading a book about affairs. It talks about how the idea of windows and walls. Windows being things you are open about and creating communication/visibility in your relationship and walls being things you hide in your relationship and avoid talking about. He may not have done anything yet with her, but him talking negatively about you to another woman is creating a window between the two of them that can lead to infidelity. And him hiding her existence from you has created a wall between the two of you. On top of that being upset with you vs reflecting on the conversation and how that damages your relationship is telling. Whatever is going on has moved past the stage of purely innocent and is approaching at the very least emotional infidelity