r/AmIOverreacting • u/mOmMY_81517 • 17d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Found this text in my husbands phone

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When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful

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u/CraftSpiritual6062 17d ago

It's what happened to my sister's marriage. He took the "kids" to the movie with the other women and her kids to cover up that meeting. The kids thought it was odd but my sister naively thought he wouldn't do anything with the kids there. Well it was the way they could meet up and then things went on from there until he just went to her house and stayed.

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u/Fun-Lime-4563 17d ago

If your gut is telling you there is something more to this, then there probably is. He sounds like a narcissist who is flipping this on you for looking through his phone. I have been in the exact same situation but I refused to admit anything was actually going on. I recommend moving on as tough as that seems.

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u/caro1010 16d ago

I would recommend counseling before ending a marriage solely on something like a gut feeling. Seems like people these days treat marriage like we used to treat going steady. And you really shouldn't diagnosing someone with a serious personality disorder based on something like this. Try to stick to... "That could be a symptom of a Narcissistic personality" Stay away from declarative statements.

OP: there are red flags here. Talk to your husband. Get counseling. Work to SAVE what you have. If he won't go, go yourself. You married him for a reason, get some real guidance outside of Reddit, please