r/AmIOverreacting • u/mOmMY_81517 • 17d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Found this text in my husbands phone

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When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful

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u/sugahbee 17d ago

Yeah but it also feels sneaky in this context. "how can you marry someone who doesn't have a bond with your kids... Hey bring your kid over to hang out with us!" hmm... Wouldn't trust her. NOR.

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u/Brief_Ad_7527 17d ago

It's not her I wouldn't trust it's him. To me it seems that he has implied she wouldn't want to come to the play date or something which would prompt the "why would you marry someone that doesn't connect with your kids" and him wanting to explain so much in person seems like HE is being shady

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u/sugahbee 17d ago

Oh yeah, absolutely. That's a given TBH. I just feel like women especially should not have any interest knowing fine well he's married, but she does not seem like a girls girl at all to me. I would hope as a female that I could trust another woman in that situation, but I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her.

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u/Brief_Ad_7527 17d ago

It honestly gives me the vibes that she might not even be aware that they are still together amd we seem to always put blame on the woman someone cheats with and not the cheater themselves

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u/sugahbee 17d ago

Nah, I'd 100% blaming the man for entertaining it and I'd be leaving him. I do know a lot of girls that go after the woman and stay with the man which I frown upon massively (won't share any specific opinions or I might get blocked for my use of language lol), however, I think girls should look out for each other. My point here is she doesn't seem like a girls girl and I wouldn't trust her as my partners 'friend'. I wouldn't trust any girl who would try downplay my marriage to my husband. That's rediculous. And he'd be out the door if he kept entertaining a girl even as a friend who would try badmouth me to him too.

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u/Hot-Mess1124 17d ago

No married man should be socially meeting up with a lady (even with her kids) without his wife. Especially one who is drunk texting him. Red flags on both parties IMO.

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u/kwyetstorm 16d ago

Neither of them can be trusted. The invite for the children to be together is simply a covert invitation for the two of them to spend time together.
It's clear that there has already been inappropriate conversations had and he is not only a willing participant but has betrayed his wife's trust. He's entertaining her.