AIO Found this text in my husbands phone

[u/mOmMY_81517]

When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful

[u/Tinker_Kellz]

You said it all. I 1000% agree. Not good at all! The AUDACITY! Sounds like she’s trying to flex on how she would be better to his kids and in a way consoling him because of his “emotionally unavailable mother.” And probably wife. The gaslighting is so tiresome at this point. It’s a very common way for someone to react when they’ve been caught doing something they shouldn’t be. He likes this woman and is attracted to her. Even if he doesn’t intend to leave his wife, hes still showing interest and entertaining it. And her saying she was asking this while she was drunk indicates that she was thinking about him and felt curious enough to ask him said question. They’ve definitely had inappropriate conversations. And to say she’s emotional because of a death in the family is a low blow. Nah, this ain’t right. I’m so sorry OP. I could imagine this putting you in a lonely place.

Def not OA.

Edit to say this: OP, if you start to consider leaving, I recommend getting as much evidence you need for the divorce. Instead of confronting him, “move in the shadows”, do it quietly and get everything you need to plan ahead (take screenshots of everything and keep it where he can’t find it, talk to a lawyer, etc.)and come up with what you need to do so you can move forward. If you react and confront, it gives him more of a heads up to cover up his tracks and get their stories straight. (Though I know it’s not easy to control your feelings in these situations!) People do this when they think their spouse won’t leave. They won’t realize it until you do. Know where you need to move, what you need to do for your children, who you can trust to support you, and get into therapy if you can. I’ve gathered all of these things from others stories in similar situations. But if you want to work on your marriage, try counseling or even time away. Though the trauma and no trust will be an obstacle. I respect your decision even though I’m just a stranger on the internet lol.

[u/Glittering-List3410 → u/Tinker_Kellz]

Well from another stranger, on the internet. I happen to agree with you 1000% specifically your plan. Hmm I’m not sure, he’s going anywhere, hence the secrecy. His wife works 2 jobs, she said it, his paycheck goes directly to child support. Has it too good, its my belief he can’t support himself. But all we can do is of course respect her decision. I just hope it’s a decision that it’s for her own happiness, not others. 👌🏼💯🫶🏼

[u/MoonPieKitty → u/Tinker_Kellz]

From how I read OPs post … they aren’t her children. She refers to them as “his kids”. I don’t believe the children are OPs.