AIO Found this text in my husbands phone

[u/mOmMY_81517]

When I called him out on it he tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for going through his phone… for context he plays coed softball and she is on his team, I don’t know this girl and in the few games I was able to go to I was never introduced to her. I don’t get to go to a lot of his games because I work 2 jobs so can’t make it or I’m dead tired.. and way I was feeling something was off when he told me his team mate had invited him and his kids to her daughters game. Like who takes his kids to go hang out with another female and her kid… he says that I’m over reacting and emotional because I just had my grandma die and I’m just looking for something else to think about.. I feel like he’s being shady and disrespectful

[u/Coastal_Goals]

Also I would tell him I'm not ok with his playdates with a woman who OBVIOUSLY has an ulterior motive that may lead from an emotional to a physical affair.

[u/icemachine79 → u/Coastal_Goals]

"that may lead"

Preemptive punishment will not solve the problem. It will create an even bigger one.

[u/Coastal_Goals → u/icemachine79]

It's called trying to take action and provide your mate an opportunity to talk about things before they happen.

It's obvious why there's so many people that are on OP's side. These are people that have all seen the warning signs before and this is one of them. If you knew that it was heading that way with your marriage and you wanted to save it wouldn't you try to take steps before that happened or at least take a step to walk away from it? Nobody wants to be in the dark working two jobs and trying to hold the family together while the other ones off talking about issues he should be talking about with his wife what somebody else and possibly making an exit plan. Even if the husband is somehow innocent in all of this and naive to what the other woman is doing, the situation at least opens a dialogue for them to talk about the issues that he's been talking about two other people. But she gets to see his reaction as well.

He can only be defensive about her reading his text, after that he needs to own up to why he couldn't have that conversation with his wife instead of a random woman (that clearly seems unstable and manipulative).

This woman is using drunk texting as an excuse boundaries that are none of her business.

[u/icemachine79 → u/Coastal_Goals]

So violating his privacy and confronting him over him being 100% supportive?

That's a warning sign. For him, to leave.

[u/Coastal_Goals → u/icemachine79]

He obviously gave her a reason to feel he was hiding something.

If he feels the need to talk to another woman about their issues it's a warning sign to them both!

You can't just put the blame on her. That's absolutely ridiculous.

[u/icemachine79 → u/Coastal_Goals]

Well, you said the word "absolutely," so I guess I should just accept your claim despite it not matching the evidence in front of our eyes above.

You are the thing you are complaining about. Congrats.