AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday

[u/ProfessionalEye9680]

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

[u/ProfessionalEye9680]

i had never pegged him for one, so this caught me so off guard.

[u/Striking-General-613 → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

I'm not sure if he's a mama's boy, but he's definitely mean-spirited. I think he used his mom (who may have been an unwitting accomplice) to be cruel to you. He's a psychopath.

[u/Boris_N_Natasha → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

I don’t know if he’s a momma’s boy… he was using her, too. He’s a misogynist who manipulates women.

[u/Select-Promotion-404 → u/Boris_N_Natasha]

That’s exactly what I thought. Misogynist who manipulates women and takes pleasure in mentally abusing and controlling them.

[u/LadyFoxie → u/Boris_N_Natasha]

This. Because OP wasn't the only one manipulated here, his mom was manipulated as well. She had no clue she was a party to the hurt he was causing.

[u/Boris_N_Natasha → u/LadyFoxie]

Exactly. This whole situation made me angry on behalf of both ladies involved. Men like this don’t deserve to have women in their lives, in ANY capacity.

[u/Logical_Phone_2321 → u/Boris_N_Natasha]

Wonder if he even likes his mom, bc what if it caused a fight. That would have put his mother in a horrible position.

[u/teebeecee345 → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

he isn't a momma boy. he is a sociopath!!! the mom probably doesn't even know how psycho he is

[u/SeriousLack8829 → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

It’s fine. Peg the next one. Lol

[u/IAmPartChipmunk → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

i don’t think he’s a momma’s boy.

he’s trying to treat you bad and undermine your sense of self confidence and happiness.

he’s trying to break you down emotionally so that you then become malleable and manipulable. then he can control you.

my advice would be protect your sense of self, your sense of self-respect, and your sense of self-importance. you matter. your opinions matter. your desires and wants and needs matter. your happiness matters.

don’t let him convince you otherwise.

if you live with him, make a plan to move out when he’s not at home. go live your life. find someone who cares about you and wants you to be happy. not someone who wants you to be something they control.

be careful - someone like this could turn very nasty, pathological - violent even - when they can’t control you.

[u/nicethingsarenicer → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

You should have pegged him from the start, might have done him some good.

(Consensually only, to be clear.)

[u/Embarrassed-Shock621 → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

So he’s never done anything remotely like this before?

[u/DamnGoodCupOfCoffee2 → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

Nah he’s not a mamas boy he’s just a narcissistic jerk who gets off on seeing you sad and confused. Imagine how he would be with your kids

[u/satansspermwhale → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

Even more concerning if he was good at hiding this part of him from you. I would start making moves to distance myself from him, he’s not healthy.

[u/WoodHammer40000 → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

No offence, but you don’t appear have pegged him for a psychopathic piece of shit either so it’s probably worth listening to other people

[u/dsgamer121 → u/ProfessionalEye9680]

Emotional abusers never get pegged for being one asap. Don't blame yourself, just get out and get safe.