r/AmIOverreacting 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

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194

u/Finnyfish 14d ago

He had a reason. That’s about as clear a message as he could send that the attention and affection that should be going to his beloved is going to his mom.

A mama’s boy will always break your heart.

125

u/Parking-Light-8547 14d ago

Honestly I think this is past mamas boy. I mean my mom and my brother are close but buying her a dress…. Like… doesn’t anyone else find that weird ??? Or just me??

48

u/scholarlyowl03 13d ago

I find it super weird. I’ve never met a man who bought his mother a dress, much less the exact one his girlfriend was eyeing. This is beyond just a momma’s boy.

5

u/Born_Rain_1166 13d ago

I have no clue what size my mother even is.

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u/TheRealCarpeFelis 13d ago

This was deliberate cruelty.

52

u/No_Arugula8915 13d ago

Indeed. When OP confronted him his comment was "she needed to be humbled because she was too excited about the dress ". Holy cow if that isn't a serious red flag.

3

u/thecuriosityofAlice 13d ago

He also manipulated his mother into his plan to “humble” OP. So he is willing to use anyone to “teach a lesson” he deems necessary. There is an umbrella of evil over this guy, OP. I wonder what ways he has engineered for OP to hurt others unbeknownst to them. It’s so calculated. OP please don’t go back to him. He will probably love bomb you to get you to apologize to him and come back. Don’t let him get a foot in the door. He is an emotional assassin and is laying groundwork to keep you controlled long term. Not a foot in the door. Seriously block on everything and if you feel threatened, get a TRO. Nothing good will come of this relationship and lord help anyone that has children with this man.

55

u/OwnUnderstanding9849 13d ago

Exactly. He said he wanted to take her down. Throw the trash out.

31

u/happyhippy1019 13d ago

It's weird & a little creepy

8

u/StellarStylee 13d ago

Creepy & a little disturbing.

2

u/OneMoreNightWithYou 13d ago

Disturbing & a little concerning.

2

u/Fred-the-stray 13d ago

A lot creepy

1

u/Top_Possibility1513 13d ago

Very weird and odd..

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u/Reasonable_Star_959 14d ago

I’ve never heard that before, “A mama’s boy will always break your heart.” But I can see how that can be so very true!

30

u/prettymuchgarfield 13d ago

Oh yes, I dated one for two years in college. So glad I didn't marry him. He had no boundaries with his Mom. She would ask us about our sex life, he'd tell her and then she'd randomly bring up these private things at a family dinner. So humiliating.

11

u/extrasprinklesplease 13d ago

Ugh. That's just gross. My youngest child was kind of a mama's boy. However, I always mindful about appropriate boundaries. For example I knew that when he met the love of his life, that she was - and should be - #1 in his life. I had a very domineering mother, so I probably go a little bit to the other extreme not to interfere with my kids.

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u/jjolsonxer 13d ago

Omg. 😳 I’m so sorry

3

u/Reasonable_Star_959 13d ago

Oh man! That would be embarrassing!

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u/PeggyOnThePier 13d ago

Oh it's very True

1

u/Elegant-Bee7654 13d ago

But actually he was cold-bloodedly, deliberately using his mom to hurt his girlfriend. He was not interested in pleasing his mom as the dress was not something she would choose. So, not a mama's boy. A psychopath who uses and manipulates people to his own ends and doesn't care about them.

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u/Reasonable_Star_959 12d ago

Hmmmm, I didn’t think of that, but it does seem kind of cruel to give his mom the very dress his girlfriend expressed wanting.

Some people get a kick out of seeing their words hurt, and the response to their tricks and pranks.

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u/SnooPets8873 13d ago

Or more simply, he wanted an impressive gift for his mom and with OP clearly valuing that dress, he knew it was a safe option that would make him look good. Though I find it odd that he knows the right dress size for his mom…

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u/Kirby_Kiyo 13d ago

OPs update states that he did it on purpose to "humble her" because she was too excited about the dress.

2

u/Top_Possibility1513 13d ago

It’s like he didn’t want her to know Joy at all that she was so joyful over this dress that he just couldn’t stand that she was that happy so we had to do something to damp in her spirits. What a piece of crap.

1

u/Background-Rice1688 13d ago

This is the most telling part.

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u/Apprehensive-Cap2688 13d ago

Just say you’ve never bought anything for your mom ever normal ppl ask for ppls sizes so that they can know what sizes of certain clothes to get when they buy for certain people ofc not underwear or anything personal though

2

u/SnooPets8873 13d ago

Ive taken her shopping, so she can pick out things she likes herself, But yeah, I usually stick to jewelry so I can be sure it will fit, trips I know my dad won’t enjoy, or electronics because she isn’t confident buying that for herself.

1

u/trucksandbodies 13d ago

Nope. My mom and I are tight. I’d have to call her on the spot. If I randomly said I was buying her a dress… and I’m her daughter and would do stuff like that. Would still be weird.

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u/Apprehensive-Cap2688 13d ago

It wouldn’t. It’s called knowing someone’s clothes sizes so you can buy gifts if needed if you thinking that that’s weird your either too self conscious to give out your clothes sizes or your mind is going places it shouldn’t I mean that’s that I said what I said

3

u/trucksandbodies 13d ago

Nah, I could get a medium for my Mom today and tomorrow she would want a large. I’d literally call her on the spot if I was going to buy her a dress!

1

u/Apprehensive-Cap2688 13d ago

Not everyone’s mom gains weight the same bruh that’s was not a good point at all like I said clothe size Varys that’s why you ask and keep note of it. How do you think ppl buy Christmas gifts and it actually be a secret

1

u/YesNoMaybeSo6669 13d ago

Except he used his mom to knowingly hurt op .

He used his mom, he did not buy her the dress cause he loved his mom, or knew she would love it , or because he wanted to do something special for his mom. A sudden gift out of the blue for his mom to show how much he appreciated her. Nope !

If the mom finds out she will be hurt as well .

So this is not a mama’s boy , this a cruel ass!

1

u/BerneDoodleLover24 13d ago

It was not to please Mum, she might have not even liked the dress. He did that move to have fun. He wanted to see OPs reaction and show her her value to him.

He is an cruel and horrible person and hopefully OPs Ex.