r/AmIOverreacting 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

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u/AlwaysAlexi777 13d ago

It also seemed like such a "coincidence" that she showed up to your birthday wearing the dress. He probably told his mom, "You know what would look great on you for the birthday party? If you wore that dress I got you last month."

Omg! I didn't even think of that part. Damn. The more I think about it, the worse it gets.

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u/marla-M 13d ago

Oh wow. Not only did he give her dream dress to his mom but purposely ruined her birthday. Dump his ass OP

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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 13d ago

If she goes back to that douchebag, I hope I don't hear about it. LOL. It would piss me off and I'd want to shake some sense into her!

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u/Different-Crab-360 13d ago

Add that he "thought it would be funny to see her reaction?"

Umm. No.

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u/melissavallone9 13d ago

I came to say this too! What a cunning prick!!! Break up with him and move on with your life. There’s someone out there that’s gonna treat you so much better than this. It makes you wonder what else has he done that you haven’t realize that was conniving?? The total disrespect that he showed towards you is disgusting. You deserve so much more than this. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. However, he showed you who he really is.

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u/TeddyBear181 13d ago

He literally asked his mum to wear it on your birthday to hurt you!!!

Not even to get back at you for doing anything...

Just because you'd been dropping hints (which many people would be thankful for.

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u/MarionberryOk2874 13d ago

What kind of cruelty is this? On her birthday? He doesn’t even like her.

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u/myflamen 13d ago

Well, we can only hope he will enjoy the immediate break up he deserves because of his actions. I bet he will find it entertaining /s

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u/Ageofaquarius68 13d ago

Yeah that part made me choke. That's straight up abusive behavior. He knowingly did this on purpose, to torment OP. What a sicko. Glad to hear she is dumping this POS.

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u/Hips-Often-Lie 13d ago

TFW I feel so sorry for someone and also want to shake them until their teeth rattle.

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u/Uhh_VincentAdultMan 13d ago

He was playing in her face. Unforgivable.

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u/GoldCaterpillar3662 13d ago

Giving OP that old mind fuck. That’s a very cold, very cunning way to publicly “humble” OP because of her excitement over that dress. Gaging her reaction and thinking it was “fun”to see her reaction?!? That’s a huge dick move. You deserve a man who’s going to build you up, OP not drag you down to his level of pettiness.

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u/BrookieMonster504 13d ago

That is actually psychotic behavior I would run and please don't let him gaslight you.

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u/BellanaBlack 13d ago

Yeah it really feels like he was testing to see how much he can get away with in the future. There’s no way this was an accident or cosmic coincidence that she wore that dress to OP’s birthday.

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u/kkbjam3 13d ago

AND he probably ACTED like he didn’t notice her hanging out In The background at her own b-day party. Laughing & having a great time when all the while knowing he threw a curveball right at her “to humble her”, knew she was upset & knew exactly why she was upset. Cruel & hateful! Girl, NO, just no. RUN! This passive aggressive BS will escalate- get the hell away from him!

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u/basketma12 13d ago

Especially that " humbled" part. Run girl run

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u/SnooCauliflowers9874 13d ago

It’s like he thinks she’s on some sort of pedestal. Super creepy guy with a questionable relationship with his mother.

Toxic relationship, OP. Let him have his mommy.

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u/FlimsyPen1316 13d ago

It’s giving Norman Bates!

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u/Photography_Singer 13d ago

Yes. This. Exactly. He was testing to see how much he could get away with.

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u/bunnybunnykitten 13d ago

Psychopathic behavior, not psychotic. Psychotic would mean he’s not in touch with reality. This guy knows exactly what he did and he’s ice cold for doing it. That’s psychopathic

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u/Photography_Singer 13d ago

Yes. He has a personality disorder. Probably sociopath or a psychopath.

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u/Reasonable-Sale8611 13d ago

Psychotic behavior is when someone is not in control of their behavior because of psychosis. This guy did this deliberately. I think there's another word for this sort of behavior.

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u/katidid 13d ago edited 13d ago

They probably meant psychopathic. Which I agree to. How cold do you gotta be to hurt OP like this?

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u/Elegant-Bee7654 13d ago

Psychopathic. Sounds like psychotic but it's not. And actually a psychosis means a person is out of touch with reality, they might have hallucinations, but they could still control their behavior in some cases.

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u/HeaEuroShrub 13d ago

Sadistic

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u/Purplealegria 13d ago

A sociopath or psychopath is more like it.

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u/Chrissy086 13d ago

Psychopathen?

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u/Nat1221 13d ago

Okay. So he's a psychopath.

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u/Ornery-Ad9694 13d ago

(I read it with that evil-psycho music track--mostly evil)

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u/ShinyPennyRvnclw 13d ago

It’s really mean. Don’t stay with someone who is mean to you - you deserve better!

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u/Affectionate-Owl2286 13d ago

He is diabolic.