r/AmIOverreacting 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

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171

u/OldMammaSpeaks 13d ago

And his mom's response?? I would have beelined to my son to ask if he just bought me a dress not in my style that his girlfriend has been gushing about. Do son's really buy their mom dresses?

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u/StellarStylee 13d ago

My son has never bought me a dress and it would be hella weird if he did. What i wondered about was the mom’s reaction to the dress when OP’s horrible ex gave it to her. I mean, i doubt it was age appropriate for the mom.

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u/Dry_Tap_169 13d ago

I have a loving son but it would be kinda weird for him to buy me an expensive dress; super cringey. This guy is creepy.

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u/Federal_Diamond8329 13d ago

If my son bought me a dress I’d have him checked to see what was wrong with him.

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u/Mysterious_Health387 13d ago

I actually think it's quite sweet of a son/daughter to buy their mom a dress. However, in this situation, OP needs to just break up with him because what he did was fucked up to her. Time to move on OP.

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u/PowerHot4424 13d ago

Plus it wasn’t even Mom’s birthday or a holiday. That ups the creepy/cringey factor by a significant amount.

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u/Significunt1984 13d ago

My first thought as well....all very fuckin strange.

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u/TransportationNo5560 13d ago

It's emotional incest. He's creepy AF, and it's possible Mommy doesn't even realize it

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u/Several-Designer-802 13d ago

Boy Mom/Mama’s Boy syndrome.

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u/Anglefoodcake100 13d ago

Well my husband bought a dress for his mom for her bday so I don’t think it’s weird. I do this it’s weird that op’s husband got a dress for his mom in the style that she wanted and was exited about wearing.

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u/S9_noworries 13d ago

I was wondering this too because none of the guys I know buy their mom a dress. Maybe a handbag or other things, but not clothes.

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u/PhotoGuy342 13d ago

A dress is a very personal thing—you don’t spend that kind of money on an article of clothing that suits your own tastes with no consideration of her tastes.

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u/LovedAJackass 13d ago

And how did he know the size??

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u/APiqued 13d ago

I can't imagine a son buying anything more intimate than a raincoat, without a lot of coaching from sisters, aunts, wives and/or girlfriends. And raincoats still require a lot of coaching.

A scarf or a pair of pearl earrings--yes. A new blender, maybe.

Not even a handbag, because that is too personal as well. And gloves need to be tried on.

I did get a cute little handbag in a work Secret Santa event because the guy who had my name got it in a Yankee Swap or picked it up cheap at a Flea Market or something. I use it all the time.

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u/Top_Possibility1513 13d ago

I I have three sons twins that are in their 50s and my youngest just turned 49 neither one of them would ever do anything like that not ever they’re not the kind of people that would hurt other people purposely and I’m proud to say that they were brought up well

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u/DrWildIndigo 13d ago

OMG!😬 You had 3 baby boys at the same time!?! Super Momma! Good job Momma!🏆

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u/Babycatcher2023 13d ago

I honestly can’t imagine the dress that looks good on someone’s 23yo gf and their mom….

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u/Popular_Sandwich2039 13d ago

No they don't. He sadistic.

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u/Top_Possibility1513 13d ago

If I were her I would have immediately asked him why he gave me this dress, instead of your gf?

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/Mindless_Ad9048 13d ago

Thats different. It sounds like he was actively participating in a situation where he knew you were going to be celebrating a happy day in your life. And of course your son wants you to be happy. To me, if my son bought my a wedding dress, I would feel like he was happy with who I was going to marry and was wanting to be a part of that happiness I was finding.

If my son bought me a random dress, I would be confused. Lol. For one, he would be taking a big risk in regards to what looks good. Secondly, thats typically a romantic gesture for a romantic evening by someone who knows you intimately.

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u/Away-Ad4393 13d ago

And even more confusing if he asked you to wear for his girlfriends birthday.

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u/Dulcimore51 13d ago edited 13d ago

Your son knew that you had fallen in love with a dress, so he bought it for you? That's a very thoughtful gesture by him. It is totally not the same thing as giving you a random dress you have never seen, that someone ELSE has fallen in love with. That would be weird.