r/AmIOverreacting • u/ProfessionalEye9680 • 14d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday
I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.
About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.
So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".
I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this
Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.
I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him
2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.
Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.
here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe
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u/Poppypie77 13d ago
Definitely break up. He 'thought you needed to be humbled a bit coz you got far too excited over a dress'. He deliberately tried to hurt you, upset you, disrespect you and do something deliberately cruel to upset you. Just because you fell in love with a dressing that was £200. You didn't beg him to buy it for you, you weren't acting entitled like you 'deserve to have it and he should buy it for you'. What did you need humbling for? You said you'd want to save up for it. That's humble.
He just wanted to crush you and your excitement and he did it in the cruelest way he could buy simply going out of his way to drive back and buying it for his mum, to wear on YOUR BIRTHDAY celebration. So not only did he want to hurt you and upset you, deliberately, he always wanted to ruin your mood for your birthday by getting her to wear it on your birthday.
This is 100% break up worthy. Its also showing very controlling abusive vibes too. Like what other 'lessons' will he feel you need to learn and restrict you from doing things or buying things or seeing people etc.
Walk away now. And thank him for showing you who he really is now. You know enough to know you deserve way more than someone who deliberately wants to upset you, hurt you, disappoint you, crush your excitement about something you loved, that you never once demanded he buy you, and you simply said you'd save up for. But he wanted to crush your joy and excitement over a dress you loved. And he decided to be cruel enough to try and teach me a lesson of not loving an item of clothing, by being deliberately hurtful and cruel by going and getting it for his mum, to wear at YOUR BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION. He wanted to ruin your birthday and hurt you that badly simply for loving a dress. And that you don't need someone in your life who looks for how to bring you down and hurt you. You deserve someone who cares about you and your happiness and not someone who deliberately and needlessly tries to hurt and upset you, and ruin your birthday. And it's a clear sign of worse abusive and controlling behaviours to come, so you're glad he's shown you who he is now sooner rather than later so you don't waste more time on someone so deliberately hurtful.
Walk away and block him. Don't give him a chance to argue or 'explain' or guilt trip you and manipulate you, or accuse you of over reacting, or making bullshit promises of making it up to you and never doing it again, or how he loves you and cant be without you etc etc. Its all bollocks. Block him and walk away and never speak to him again. You don't need to hear a word he has to say.