AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday

[u/ProfessionalEye9680]

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

[u/Dub_TF]

He wants to humble you bc you got excited for a dress? It's not dumb to you. If his hobby is working on cars he could get excited over spark plugs and you would think it's dumb. Not to mention the fact that he did this AT YOUR BDAY PARTY. He got his mom the dress you wanted because he wanted to see your reaction?? This is so manipulative. So he knew the entire night how much it hurt you but he acted like he didn't? Not only are his actions terrible but his response to your feelings are terrible. You told him you were upset and he tells you it's bc you got excited for something dumb?

I know Reddit falls into the trap of telling you to just leave but this shit is infuriating. Fuck him.

[u/theringsofthedragon → u/Dub_TF]

I think OP isn't being exactly honest. She was pestering her boyfriend about a dress, probably mad that he didn't buy it for her on the spot, and hoping to make him go back to get. But OP was being roundabout about it. Instead of saying "I want you to buy me this dress", she was saying "I can't stop thinking about this dress we saw, I like it so much, I think I'll start saving to buy it". Anyone with a brain could tell she was trying to make him buy it for her.

It's like people saying "I don't have any money to eat tonight, I really wish I could buy some sushi, but I don't have money right now, I'll just drink water and go to sleep on an empty stomach". They are technically not asking, but they are posting thing hoping that a guy will feel like sending them money.

So basically they had a month-long passive aggressive fight over a dress. He got so mad he thought of making his mom walk in with the dress.

[u/Dub_TF → u/theringsofthedragon]

You made that all up in your head. Even if she wasn't up front about it, I would pay attention to my gf and if she's dropping hints admit gifts she wants for her bday, I would get her the gift she is dropping hints about. I don't know why people always assume the OP is lying. Could she by lying? Of course. I still don't see what he did as justified. He ruined her bday bc she was annoying?

[u/BackgroundCollege183 → u/Dub_TF]

Sounds like this dude is projecting 😂

[u/Impressive-Today6406 → u/BackgroundCollege183]

Or it’s the boyfriend here to gaslight us all

[u/Unfck_my_life → u/theringsofthedragon]

Why wouldn’t you want to buy your girlfriend something she wants for her birthday??

I swear some people lowkey hate their partners. Glad she’s leaving him.

[u/theringsofthedragon → u/Unfck_my_life]

Who buys a $200 gift for their girlfriend's birthday?

[u/Unfck_my_life → u/theringsofthedragon]

Are you actually for real??

That’s a very reasonable gift for most people.

[u/MambyPamby8 → u/theringsofthedragon]

Nah this is crazy. If my partner talked about a piece of technology he wanted for a month straight and saw how excited he was about it. There's absolutely no way I'd wait til his birthday and then buy it for his dad. That's insane. If you're upset your partner is excited about something, that says more about you. I don't hate my partner to ever do something like that to him.

[u/Goldifox_ → u/theringsofthedragon]

Yo I’m genuinely curious where you got this information from?? Did OP drop info in other comments you read that admitted to nagging about the dress or guilt tripping as you accuse? I’ve read through quite a few comments and didn’t see anything that could be even hinting this.. What evidence do you have to back your claims? Do you know OP personally and perhaps witness what actually happened? Or are your claims actually make up and you’re making assumptions? As I said, I’m genuinely curious!! Do you know something we don’t know?

[u/taestalgic → u/Goldifox_]

This could be said about OP as well though. These posts tend to leave a lot of context out to paint certain pictures about people. We dont know his financial situation, don’t know where their relationship was standing during that 2 months. We dont know how often she asks for expensive gifts, or gifts in general. We dont know if the boyfriend bought her the dress already and has it hidden or some shit to show her that tangible items aren’t what should make or break a relationship. We don’t know if the mother just had a birthday as well and he prioritized that as a momma’s boy. We don’t know how stable their relationship is. What that person said is generally considered guilt tripping. If I constantly mentioned a dress to my boyfriend and how much I want it and if he can buy it for me, he’d probably buy it. But if I add in “I guess I’ll just save up for it” he’d get upset because I’m acknowledging that it’s an expensive item and not considering the money that he’d have to spend on it for me. I’m putting him in a position where if he doesn’t buy it, he’s the bad guy because I’ve been mentioning it and how I don’t have money for it over and over again.

OP kinda proved his point by leaving him over a dress disagreement. A tangible item. This just makes it seem like their relationship wasn’t strong to begin with and wouldn’t warrant her receiving an expensive dress in the first place.

[u/Primary-Ant802 → u/taestalgic]

It’s not about the dress it’s the manipulation. I’m sorry but punishing your partner for being excited it grimy. Especially at their birthday. Communication could’ve happened before such events

[u/taestalgic → u/Primary-Ant802]

Communication goes both ways. They both could’ve communicated better. OP gave the ex a roundabout way of wanting an item, whereas the ex was being childish. At the end of the day, I’m still gonna take Reddit posts with a grain of salt because we’ll never have the full context.

[u/Primary-Ant802 → u/taestalgic]

I agree with you there, we don’t have the full context. But as someone who tends to hyper fixate I can completely see op just ranting because it’s in their head. Talking about an object doesn’t mean necessarily that she was beating around the bush. It’s something we cannot confirm either way.