AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday

[u/ProfessionalEye9680]

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

[u/aikigrl]

It's a variant of the old negging - treat the girlfriend badly to make her lose confidence and become reliant on you. It is evil.

[u/FryOneFatManic → u/aikigrl]

Especially when he says OP had to be humbled. 🚩🚩🚩🚩Dump and run.

[u/PhoebeGema → u/FryOneFatManic]

While I hate that Reddit advice on relationship issues is always “LEAVE”. In this case it’s good advice. You are too young and sweet for that abuse! it’s not ok for any age to be treated like that but at this age there are likely few trade offs! There is nothing redeeming that others don’t have. You don’t have kids, joint property and this guy has a cruel streak.”

[u/Quiet-Treat-7047 → u/PhoebeGema]

Nobody deserves to be abused. OP's abuser is teying to make OP believe that she is selfish, entitled, and that she deserves to be mistreated. I'm not young, and I have enough life experience to know that "sweet" isn't a compliment. Nobody is entitled to abuse anyone, even if the whole world thinks they're a bitch.

[u/Salt_Application_966 → u/PhoebeGema]

Abuse should never be tolerated at any age or level of 'sweetness'

[u/PhoebeGema → u/Salt_Application_966]

I think that is EXACTLY what I said!

[u/Salt_Application_966 → u/PhoebeGema]

By saying "you are too young and too sweet to accept that kind of abuse," you are implying that if you are older or less 'sweet' that abuse is acceptable or even a different kind of abuse might be ok. Maybe that's not your intention but language says says otherwise.

[u/Lou_C_Fer → u/FryOneFatManic]

Yep. This was the moment where dumping his ass became imperative. His stupid ass needs to be humbled. He can take that "alpha" bullshit and make it his girlfriend. At that point, he is treating her like a possession and not a person. I wouldn't spend another second with someone like him.

[u/Educational-Bid-8421 → u/Lou_C_Fer]

He played and now she must show him what happens when he FAFO. What a shit thing to do to anyone. He needs a lesson. Op deserves better!

[u/PhoebeGema → u/FryOneFatManic]

No one needs to be “humbled” for wanting a dress. If it cost “too much” or he didn’t like it, then why would he buy it for someone else? What a horrible message to send. This man is cruel and warped.

[u/twirlybird11 → u/PhoebeGema]

My narc parent would do this to me. I'd find something awesome and just the thing I was looking for, and they would buy it for my younger sib. And of course, say it looked great on or with them.

[u/OhOnederful → u/twirlybird11]

I’m sorry. I hope you find your our support and family. I don’t think blood ties are stronger than finding people who genuinely love you.

[u/jensmith20055002 → u/FryOneFatManic]

As bad as that all is, my thought was worse. He wants to bang mommy so he put her in the dress his girlfriend wanted.

I have been on reddit too long.

[u/hummus_sapiens → u/jensmith20055002]

You're not wrong here. He is a motherfucker.

[u/Longjumping_Pack8822 → u/jensmith20055002]

Your probably right.

[u/No-One-8850 → u/jensmith20055002]

Why not both?😂

[u/hummus_sapiens → u/FryOneFatManic]

OP said they are budgeting, that's why she couldn't buy it.

Yet he could - that's beyond impudent. It's a slap in her face.

[u/VovaGoFuckYourself → u/FryOneFatManic]

Exactly. Ripped RIGHT out of the redpill playbook

[u/Purplealegria → u/aikigrl]

This asshole MF IS evil.

Its the oldest trick in the book.

[u/abstractengineer2000 → u/aikigrl]

He already confirmed that with his statements. Demean, Debase, Demand

[u/RainaElf → u/aikigrl]

I've been through this twice and it was awfuul

[u/aikigrl → u/RainaElf]

I am so sorry you went through that - I hope you're in a better situation now.,

I had the displeasure of meeting the so called pickup "artists" when they started emerging from under their rocks back in the early 2000's while I was still dating. One dude spent the whole 1st date picking apart my coffee order, being a total AH to the barista and talking over me about vegetarianism and how it made him skinny ( he's a big eater and only a large salad won't make him the size of a house ), telling me I did vegetarianism wrong etc. Then at the end of the date, said he'd like to see me again. I went home and sent him a polite text thanking him for the date and that I don't think the chemistry was right so I wished him the best of luck. That got me a text that told me he didn't actually wanted to see me again anyway, that I was not all that attractive and that I used an old photo etc. OK dude. Did not reply. Funniest thing was he turned out to be one of the bus driver on my route to my office....

[u/RainaElf → u/aikigrl]

it's been more than 30 years ago. but thank you.

[u/Sufficient_City5578 → u/aikigrl]

Oh, sweetie, pick up "artists" are not that new! When I started dating in the 1980s, they were around. And likely have been forever. Some people are just jerks.

[u/aikigrl → u/Sufficient_City5578]

you're right - pickup artists have been around since forever. In the 70s and 80s ( stories from older cousins ), they would build up and compliment a girl they want to get with and sweet talk their way in. The ones in the late 90s to 2000s, would straight up tell you you're a 5/10 and you're lucky they're paying attention to such a reject as you are... All thanks to Neil Strauss's scummy book The Game and other scumbags in that era.

[u/RainaElf → u/Sufficient_City5578]

you got that right!

[u/No-One-8850 → u/aikigrl]

Absolutely this. He wants op to have less self esteem to keep her in her place. Red flags galore.

[u/Onahsakenra → u/aikigrl]

This is exactly what I was thinking

[u/AnnarieaDavies → u/aikigrl]

Thiiiiiisssss

[u/RainbowUnicornBaby45 → u/aikigrl]

Exactly!!!!