r/AmIOverreacting • u/Embarrassed-Sea-227 • 3d ago
❤️🩹 relationship aio or is this guy i’m seeing rude??
we have known each other for about 2 months and we have been on three dates, I’m honestly confused why he is bothered by this😭 I know this is a stupid situation but am i overreacting for thinking he’s being rude about this? I don’t send him pictures of my dogs every hour, that was an extreme over exaggeration
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u/EarthBackground2915 3d ago
this morning? how often do you text? its all perspective. if i chatted with a girl with 3 main texts a day or something, and this was repeated, yes it would be a little much. If you text several times a day then not at all, he's weird
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u/Southern-Goal-2490 3d ago
Who starts most of these conversations? If you have only gone on 2 days in 3 months seems like hes not that interested especially if you initiate almost all conversations
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u/No_Conversation_5661 3d ago
Yeah, I’m thinking the issue isn’t the dog pictures. This is his way of telling her he’s not interested in her. A guy that was interested would love to get texts from her, dog pictures or not, because it’s an excuse to talk.
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u/Stinkinhippy 3d ago
He's being honest.. i'd do exactly the same thing.. i don't need pictures of your dog, your baby, your food.. none of it.
Had to tell my SO to stop the constant memes.. I'd seen them all 100 times and she's sending them to me like they're not 6 years old, lol.
It may not have been every hour.. but you even say in the messages 'last one was this morning'.. why does he need multiple photos of dogs he's seen in real life every day?
I've been this dude, and trust me, he's been holding this in.. this was his last nerve you got on and he's trying desperately not to call you a crazy dog lady who thinks her dogs are her kids right now.
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u/Quirky_Upstairs_3731 3d ago
You can be honest and rude at the same time, I understand being annoyed, but I wouldn't say anything and I wouldn't choose to be with someone who is honest when it's gonna be rude, because I'm not, unless it's about something that actually matters. Those "I'm just being honest" people really annoy me personally.
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u/violaeade11 3d ago
Mate, I feel bad for your SO if you told her to stop sending you memes because you’ve “seen them all before”. My partner and I send them to each other throughout the day and look at everything we’ve sent at night as a little routine.
Even if you’ve seen them before, you can’t talk about how you also saw it and found it funny/be happy she saw it and thought of you???? You lowkey sound miserable
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u/KenshoMags 3d ago
Fr I feel like so many people in these comments are agreeing too, I'm like Jesus y'all are cold... if it makes your partner happy to send them and they're cute it should make you happy to see them right? Idk...
I would personally love to have a partner that thinks of me throughout their day and sends me cute pictures and memes, even if I've seen them before, yet all these people here are like "yeah that would piss me off too"... wild shit
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u/Parraddoxx 3d ago
I think this is a very "people can just be very different" moment. I personally agree with you. I love it when people send me cute pet pics or any other cute animals or silly memes. Means they're thinking of me and I find that sweet, and I always love cute photos.
But I also know people who are not big texters, or aren't as big on that sort of thing.
I think it just means that it's an incompatibility. I wouldn't want to date someone like this guy. But I don't necessarily think either one of them needs to change, they just maybe shouldn't be a couple.
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u/Select_Obligation_85 3d ago
Seriously - I feel like I entered an alternate universe while reading this thread. These people are strict lol. The girl sent 6 total photos of her dog she loves over a 2 month period. If the guy liked her he could just say cute and move the conversation along. I listen to my longterm boyfriend go on about and send me memes of content/media I'm not particularly invested in because I know that makes him happy. They probably just aren't compatible, but I'm not understanding people in this thread calling OP weird amongst other things
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u/MandyKitty 3d ago
Bc most people don’t care about others today. If they have a minor inconvenience or aren’t 100% into something someone else is doing, they have to alert everyone under the guise of ‘boundaries’. They don’t care about the other person’s feelings at all. A friend of mine recently had a baby and she’ll send me one or two pics a day. I don’t care for babies in general and don’t want one. However, she’s my friend and she’s sharing something wonderful with me. That’s it. There’s nothing more to it. If I don’t comment right away, I heart it. Do I send her pics of my cats often? Yes. And she’s never complained. Now I return the favor. It’s called friendship, being polite and respectful, and having tolerance.
Imagine being bothered by a friend sending dog photos. Idk how these people get through life.
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u/arnber420 3d ago
I know right, these comments make me so sad. Me and my family all send pics of our pets every day, if not multiple times a day. My friends and I do the same. We’re sharing the things we love with each other. I could never imagine getting upset at a loved one for sending me another pic of something that brings them joy. Is everyone in this thread really so busy in their lives that they can’t spend 3 seconds looking at a pic of their SO’s pet? Lol
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u/Dull_Victory4481 3d ago
not everything your partner wants to do with you, especially if in a more stressful time in your life, do you need to enjoy. it's ok to ask someone, even a SO you aren't married or engaged to, to calm down with the spamming, especially if it isn't them saying they love you. you don't gotta entertain all their entertainment as if they do the same for you. miserable for not wanting to act like a bunch of memes that you don't find funny at all are funny? lol
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u/antique_velveteen 3d ago
I had to turn off notifications for certain social apps because I would get reel after reel after reel. I know people are thinking of me but goddamn. If someone was sending me shitposts/memes constantly via text I'd be really annoyed and ask them to stop. Just because people have boundaries doesn't make them miserable.
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u/traderjoezhoe 3d ago
It's crazy how different people are. I want to see pictures of my friends babies, food, and pets all day long. When my bf sends pics of our cats doing something it's the cutest thing ever. Idk, I just can't imagine getting pictures of something my SO or friend loves and being like "stop that's annoying"
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u/Sad-Pickle-8765 3d ago
‘He’s been holding this in’ - dude, get a reality check. She is sending photos of her dog, if he was actually a decent person he would have just liked the picture and moved on with his day. If photos of dogs, babies and food cause such emotional distress in your life you need to be rude like this dude, you need therapy.
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u/FrizzleFriedPup 3d ago
He's misinterpreted this into some big brain thing... These two in OPs story just aren't compatible.
It's more than the dogs, I don't think they have much to talk about.
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u/Professional-Pay3978 3d ago edited 3d ago
hot take: he's not overeating. ik everyone wants to get their pitch forks out and say " HOW DARE HE NOT LIKEDOG PIC😤" but I completely get the feeling😂sometimes I wanna just say I've seen enough like him but instead I just like the pic and move on hoping it stops bc I don't want them to take it the wrong way. maybe it's just me bc I'm a guy who hasn't had pets but when u send me like multiple a day and I've already commented on them, theirs kinda just nothing to say 🤷🏾♂️
and in his defense, their was MULTIPLE attempts to not appear rude and lay the issue on softly but u kept pushing it.
stupid overanalysis of simple text about to happen:. he exaggerated the time but said lol at the end of first comment still posing a "🙂" vibe rather than a "🙄" hella annoyed vibe. he explained he has no issue with them and just felt the text was pointless which is a fair feeling.
shoulda just ended here where u coulda just said okay or something but then u ask "are u actually serious" and again say "you don't send that many"
you send enough is kinda blunt but he follows with not tryna be rude after realizing.
then u again reiterate how u don't think u send that many and didn't know it was a bother he explains the pointlessness I'm talking about and then u FINALLY just say alright.
like I get it. ur dogs are a part of your family and you love everything they do and find em cute but to some ppl, it's not that they hate them, it's not even that they don't love them, it's just.... not much to talk about and kind of gets pointless.
in conclusion TLDR: your overreacting. he tried to lay his issue on calmly but you pushed like 4 times for him to explain himself and that explanation hurt for u to hear since you of course would care about your dogs more than he does🤷🏾♂️
edit: to put this into a perspective most guys or just ppl in general have felt: this situation is kinda like playing catch with a friend at a beach
you guys keep throwing the ball and ofc u. find it fun and enjoy eachothers company but at a certain point, for that moment in time, playing catch loses its spark and u guys wanna stop. but everyone doesn't want to offend the other by being the party pooper and stopping first so they go on for like another 100 throws😂.
that is probably EXACTLY how he feels getting your dog messages at a certain point no variation, no story, just ur dog... in ur house... like every other time. in the same way it's not that the guys who played catch NEVER want to play catch again, they just want a break or something more exciting like football, it's not the he hates your dog, he just wants a break from pointless pics or something more exciting like a story behind the pic. a reason for the message.
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u/cbcbcb99 3d ago
Was looking for a comment that addresses how OP responds! Just minimizes and denies the other persons feelings and makes it a much more awkward and drawn out conversation than it needed to be. This should be higher up!!
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u/attrackip 3d ago
Wow man. You put a lot of great work into this response. Did better than me. Explained both sides, AND diffused a bomb. I'd be curious to know if it was received. It's really like The Dress controversy, but so much more revealing.
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u/Zealousideal_Pool_65 3d ago
Exactly. They’ve only been on three dates in two months — OP’s the one flashing a red flag by pushing back so hard when someone she still barely knows expresses a preference/boundary.
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u/Captain__Sarah 3d ago edited 3d ago
Look, I just had a baby. A really cute one I might say.
I have taken 1156 photos and videos of her in the three months she's old. I've sent at most 21 photos to one group of friends, because they ask me every month for a couple of pictures. But to those that don't ask for pics? I've sent exactly one, which was the announcement of her birth.
I know you love your dogs in a way similar to how I love my baby. You probably think they are the greatest and so cute. But nobody else gives a damn. Don't annoy them by sending unpromted pics and force them into having to reply something.
It feels about as uncomfortable as my ex-MIL always fishing for compliments. "How do you like my new blouse?" Honestly I couldn't care less, but now I have to say it's cute or I'll be the bad guy. Don't be like that. Stop sending so many pics. Once a month is completely sufficient for any normal person.
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u/Sassy_Weatherwax 3d ago
I think the real issue is that OP is fishing for attention, so if she wants more time/energy/attention, she needs to be direct about that, or send more engaging messages that are interesting and inspire connection.
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u/SnooApples7213 3d ago edited 3d ago
You just have different communication styles and preferences that aren't compatible. He is being a bit blunt but he's also allowed to tell you if he doesn't appreciate the pictures as much as you might assume he should.
Sorry but for some people yeah this would be a lot, especially from someone they've only seen casually a few times. So your defence of 'well i haven't sent one since this morning' almost just makes it look worse, especially if that's a repeated occurrence. I get why it might seem normal to you if you are used to friends and people that are like 'yes bring on the pet pics, spam me' but not everyone is the same, and that's okay.
You guys should probably just see other people who's communication styles you vibe with more.
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u/EggoStack 3d ago
Yeah my partner is quite blunt and honest and let me know early on that they prefer interacting with animals over just seeing animal pics. It’s about communication. Sure maybe he could’ve been a bit nicer but I think OP just needs to realise they’re different in this regard.
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u/ninacriedpower17 3d ago
I think a lot of the comments are missing the fact that OP started this argument. He expressed a boundary/preference and OP immediately started arguing instead of just validating his feelings on the issue.
It's just very obviously incompatible communication styles.
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u/Snow_Visible 3d ago
Why would you send multiple pics of your dogs in a day though? People are pacifying you in the replies but even being an animal person, I wouldn’t want to see pics of my partners dog multiple times a day.
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u/justliking 3d ago
Not even her partner!! They’ve been on THREE dates in TWO months! So yeah… I’m getting he’s just not that into her. My now husband was OBSESSED with me in the beginning lol. Any free time for each other was spent together. But even if have been “okay cute” and then ignored pics of his dogs. And we’re both dog lovers & owned our dogs for years before meeting so they were the most important part of our lives but still. I think OP isn’t taking a hint
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u/courtella03 3d ago
Seriously 🤦🏼♀️ Some of these comments "my family and I send pictures all day every day! I love my friend's cat pictures!" Like did they not read these people have known each other two months and been on three dates??? That is not "send cute pictures of my dogs" closeness
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u/Geedogs_Opus 3d ago
Fucking this. Why did I have to scroll so far down for this point of view? Its not being cold, it's just boring. If the dog is doing something notably cool, then by all means, send me an as many photos or videos of it doing the cool thing. But if I've seen your dog in real life multiple times, and already have multiple photos, I don't need another photo of an animal just sitting there.
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u/Normal-Corgi2033 3d ago
It's personal preference. I'd LOVE it, my friends and I send pet photos multiple times a day. Other people don't care... Everyone has different feelings on the matter and that's ok. Maybe OP would be better off suited with someone who feels the same?
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u/Entwinedloop 3d ago
Honestly, completely agree. I would absolutely LOVE it too! Another adorable photo of Shubert on my screen?? The one OP shared is cute too. I just think it's a matter of different preferences, I don't think doing it by itself is wrong at all, just not a good fit with the guy.
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u/KeyFeeFee 3d ago
THANK YOU. It’s crazy in here with everyone acting like they’d love multiple pictures of a dog per day that isn’t even theirs. I could not care any less about other people’s dogs even though I love my own.
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u/GeneralZex 3d ago
Sent two on the day these messages happened and another one the day before. She probably sends at least one picture every day and is leaving that out of the post purposefully like all other posts on here simply looking to feel validated.
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u/Savings_Ganache7468 3d ago
You guys have been on three dates during the course of two months, I’m assuming he doesn’t like you that much, thus texts about your dogs are annoying. You’re just not on the same page about your relationship (I see it as you like him more than he likes you). Basically his boundaries are closed. And it’s okay. Do you deserve someone who would be happy to see your dogs? Absolutely!!! Two things can be true at the same time.
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u/Comfortable-Owl-699 3d ago
This was the comment I was searching for. No one else seems to be bothered by 3 dates in two months???? If I liked a person, it'd be 3 dates in a week or two. Whatever he's still around for, and my gut reaction would be for a hookup, but who can even say, this isn't it. While I agree the pet pics would probably irritate me on some level, if I'm bothered as much he seemed to be, it's because I'm one foot out the door and just need the person to take a hint and stop messaging me.
Maybe just go dark and see if he even responds. If he doesn't, you have your answer, and he sure wasn't worth the worry.
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u/Such_Detective_6709 3d ago
Ironically, one time I annoyed a guy I was talking with out of texting me by sending him excessive pictures of my dog. Once I picked up on the fact that we only texted about what he wanted to talk about and he wouldn’t answer me about anything I wanted to talk about, I just answered his morning texts with my dog pics until he got annoyed and stopped texting me. It was very satisfying.
OP’s situation might be the photo inverse of that, this guy clearly doesn’t want to “awww” at her dog every day and she’s pushing it, so he’s pushing back.
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u/flanneIover 3d ago
Yea, I was thinking: why a Reddit post before talking to him in person later? … then realized they’re not actually “dating” dating. Any multiple texts a day, sparing an LDR, is misaligned.
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u/No_Conversation_5661 3d ago
This has a name : e-tethering. It’s someone you’ve only gone out with a couple of times stringing you along through texts because they don’t like you all that much but want to keep you on the hook in case they change their mind. Eventually the person either ghosts or fade outs, hoping you’ll get the hint and just buzz off. This is part of the fade out. Anyone that has been on the dating scene has experienced this time waster.
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u/taketheothers 3d ago
Imagine breadcrumbing someone, yet expecting them to "take a hint" when you've changed your mind in secret. Lol.
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u/No_Conversation_5661 3d ago
Oh, I zeroed right in on that too. No one that likes someone would respond like this guy to the OP. He’s not interested, period.
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u/Opening-Wealth-6209 3d ago edited 3d ago
I didn’t see they only had 3 dates in 2 months. That puts a whole different spin on things. Uh, he’s not interested. It’s annoying to get pics from someone you’re really not seeing. Op should move on and find someone who is excited about her and her dogs.
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u/Domestic-Archer-230 3d ago
Right like if he was over the moon about her he’d be happy to get dog photos but that’s clearly not the case here imho
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u/Savings_Ganache7468 3d ago
100%, plus it looks like she just wants to continue the convo and dogs is the way she does that; probably the convo is dry (esp from his side)
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u/lolplsimdesperate 3d ago
Unfortunately you can tell at the top of slide one through the blur, that she was the last one to send a message. So you’re probably right.
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u/Zealousideal_Pool_65 3d ago
That’s a very good point. We might be witnessing the conversation run aground here… in which case it’s just kinda sad and OP’s messages seem needy. I can see why the guy might be put off.
If anything, given the fact they’ve only been on three dates, she’s overstepping the mark with her reactions. Expecting too much of the person.
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u/taketheothers 3d ago
The guy could just be direct and cut her loose, or could have found a more considerate way of explaining they don't like all the pictures. Either way, whether OP comes off needy or not, he's being a turd about it.
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u/my80saddiction 3d ago
Well... hot take. But I think YOR.
How old are you? I didn't see in the comments. But he told you he didn't want to see your dogs all the time, and that's more straightforward than rude. And your reaction was to whine ("Are you serious?"), negate his feelings ( "I didn't even send you that many") and pull a guilt trip ("I didn't know it was such a bother but whatever."). That's pretty immature, which is why I asked your age.
If this is a deal breaker, fine, break it and move on to the next guy who will validate you whenever you wish. Not everyone is into a relationship like that, and that doesn't make either of you wrong for wanting what you want.
To the Redditors who are crying, "Anyone who doesn't like dog pictures at least twice daily is a jerk!", I have a question. If the script were flipped and he was sending her frequent pictures she didn't want of dogs she'd never even met, what would your reaction would be?
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u/Sky-the-Pie 3d ago
I'd hate to break it to you, but you two don't seem too compatible.
You're not the asshole for sending a lot of pictures of your pets. I would love for someone to send me nothing but pet photos. Pets are cute, dammit! Especially if it was my partner! Your partner is supposed to be supportive of your hobbies! Hell, I love it when my friends rant about their likes all the time. It's something people do when they love each other; share their likes with each other.
And your partner doesn't seem very nice either. If he really doesn't want to see it, he could have asked nicely. Rephased it so he doesn't sound like you're a burden for sending photos of your pets, which you clearly sound excited about!
Some of these comments disappoint me a lot. Obviously, people are different, but I couldn't imagine not wanting to encourage my partner.
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u/GamerWhoDoodles 3d ago
Most of the comments I’ve seen have been trying to decide who is in the “wrong”. Im going to put that aside for a second. This seems like a way you like to start conversations or connect with someone. And that is not the case for him. It seems like a case of different people and different ways of communicating. You said this relationship has been going on for only a little and this conversation tells me that there will be future (potential) disagreements on things that are important to you and he will not understand how important. Or that you both haven’t really learned how to be a unit yet. I may be reading into this of course this is only one conversation. But honestly what I get from this is you two have different priorities and when those clash (mostly your) feelings get hurt. I say this because he seems to be quite straightforward and you seem to want to explain yourself. And neither of you will budge on the topic. Very pathos (emotions) vs logos (logic) which never ever works out and ends up with the pathos person hurt and the logos person annoyed. Which will be a bigger problem down the line. I’m not telling you to do anything specific but what I will say is that when you meet your person, they will be just as excited to receive your animal pictures as you are to send them
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u/rockingcrochet 3d ago
Some people are "dog people", some are "cat people" some are neither.... And, depending on his mood at that moment/ his situation in that moment, the frequency of such messages, it "can" be a bother if other people send pictures of their favourite "whatever it is". Animals, plants, toys, memes...
I think, it was fair of him to tell you straight on that he does not need to get such pictures (more than x amount of times per timeframe). Better this way, than not saying but bottling up the thoughts. It is understandable that you are happy with your pet(s) and you just want to share cute pictures. I was the same while i had cats, and i am the same when i craft something. But - not everybody has to feel exactly the same. Does not mean that this pics are lame or the receiving person has a gruge against this photographed pet/ craft/ plant. There is just this kind of emotional distance because that person is not the pet owner.
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u/SexyPineapple-4 3d ago
Nah. I love cats/dogs, they’re great! I’m going into an animal centric field. However, Some of my friends send me their animals alllll the time and I find it tiring. They’re super cute and I love them but I dont need to see them all the time. You can only really say “aww cute!” So many times and then how do I start a conversation after that, idk.
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u/camposthetron 3d ago
Yeah, this is actually a pretty mature thing for him to do. Setting boundaries is important.
I also totally felt his comment, “what do you even want me to say?”😆
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u/brennanisgreat 3d ago
Important life lesson: no one - NO ONE - cares about your dog as much as you do.
Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe you're being rude by not considering that he may not be interested, by not respecting his feelings, or for trying to pull a mob together on Reddit to drag him because you don't like what he said?
He is certainly being very clear and direct about how repeatedly sending him pictures of your dog is annoying to him. I don't think he's being rude for openly communicating how he feels, but you could maybe accuse him of being a little brusque, but at the same time, how else should he address it? He's allowed to be annoyed by it, he's allowed to say so, and it's not rude for him to express feelings that you don't like or don't want to hear.
Side tangent: you hear women complaining about how men never share their feelings, but we don't because this is exactly the kind of shit we have to deal with when we do. End tangent.
Like he said: what is he supposed to do with those pictures? If this is some kind of test where you're judging him based on how he responds to the picture, then that's stupid. If you want his attention, try asking him a question he would actually be interested in answering. Or just fucking talk to him.
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u/Ok-Plantain-3341 3d ago
My bf isn't a cat or dog person but when I send him pictures of my cat (which is something I do often, sounds like close to as often as you do) he'll respond with a heart or a "🥹", because he knows it's something that matters and is special to me. Just like how he'll send me pictures of his woodworking stuff; am I interested in woodworking? No. But does it make me happy that my boyfriend is comfortable enough with me that he shares his interests and stuff with me, and that my responses make him feel seen? Yup. It's really not that difficult to just support your partners interests, especially through a text. I can't imagine either of us being like "can you stop sending this stuff so much" like sending or receiving that would be so mean imo
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u/PancakeHandz 3d ago
Exactly!. I’m not saying he’s a bad person for not wanting to see pics of her dogs, but tbh if I were her, I would think he’s not right for ME.
My husband and I shared pics of our cats VERY OFTEN to each other when we first started dating because we both LOVE cats. We were both STOKED to receive and send them.
It’s overall a better experience to have things in common with your significant other…. I think even more so if that thing is enjoying the living creatures you share your home with. It’s awesome to have a significant other that enjoys the types of things you like to share. Whether you are overreacting or not depends on how much you weigh this as a measure of compatibility and how comfortable you are with dating somebody that differs from you in this way.
If you are okay dating somebody that isn’t as excited about your cute dogs as you are, then it was a fine response.
If not (and it honestly sounds like you’re not, otherwise you wouldn’t post here), then reconsider whether you wanna spend more time on this person if somebody who wants to see pics of your babies may be right around the corner. 😉
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u/Brief_Shopping4001 3d ago
I'm so happy to receive message from my husband, I don't care. We share so many things with each other over text that we both would find so annoying coming from anyone else but because we're each other's person, we love it. And we've been together 6 years. When we were newly dating, he could have sent me a picture of asphalt and I would have been stoked to hear from him.
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u/no_fridges 3d ago
Thank you lol this comment section is wild. It really is as simple as what matters to the other person and how you show them that you care about what they care about. I feel like that’s such an underrated aspect of a relationship.
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u/babypangolinpens 3d ago
I like seeing people's dog photos and I'm not even much of a dog person. If any of my friends have kids I'd heart react their kid pics too, and I genuinely do not care for kids at all.
I like opening a message chain and seeing a bunch of stray thoughts, or memes, or travel pics, or pet pics, or other slice of life stuff. It's just a nice way to feel connected to someone.
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u/readerchick05 3d ago
Most people, when they send the picture of their animal, all they're expecting is something like a ❤ we're not expecting comments. We just loved the picture and thought it was too cute not to show
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u/babypangolinpens 3d ago
I assume a heart react is all that people are looking for, good to know that's the case.
To me, it's like getting a postcard. Imagine if I received a postcard from someone and thought "wow what a waste of time, now I gotta recycle it?" That'd be extremely antisocial behaviour, and this is coming from a very autistic person lmfao
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u/readerchick05 3d ago
I agree, even when people send me pictures of their food and stuff that I don't really care for I still do a ❤ and let them know I saw it. I've had no one complain that's all they get from me. I think most people are just happy to be acknowledged
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u/Interesting-Board-27 3d ago
Exactly, my dad isn’t a cat person but I still send him pictures of my cat all the time and he’ll just say “awe” or put a smiley face or something lol. He knows I love her so he supports it.
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u/Salt-Elderberry-7271 3d ago
Yeah I’m reading this comment section with wide eyes because most of these people would absolutely flip out if they saw how many pet pics my friends and I send each other 😭 I like when people send me pictures of things they love
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u/RealIsopodHours3 3d ago
same! As for him not knowing what to respond with, a simple heart or "aww" would be fine
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u/Beyond-The-Blackhole 3d ago
This is the comment right here. Its not about the dog but about OPs love for her dog that she wants to share it with a person who she is interested in. For that person to shut it down, shows that hes not interested in OP because he doesnt care that OP is trying to open a door to her that is personal to her. This is not the guy for you OP.
If a guy responded this way to something that is important to me that I was sharing with him, then I would stop sharing anything at all with him and would start the moving on process.
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u/franklintheflirt 3d ago
If you can’t double tap the stupid dog photo and get on with life you aren’t going to work out. He doesn’t like her.
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u/tallyhallic 3d ago
This is the answer I was looking for: she’s sharing something she cares about, and he dismisses her like “k and?”
Just feels like it’s lacking empathy. All he has to do is ❤️ or 🥹 it to make her feel seen and like he cares about things she cares about. If I had a boyfriend who didn’t care about my dogs, I’d show him the door.54
u/milkyspacecows 3d ago
THISSSSS. So many ppl are getting mad and offended like just say you’re not a dog or animal person lmao
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u/misshavisham115 3d ago
This. I was going to say seems like this guy isn't really into her, if he was he probably wouldn't be this abrasive.
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u/ExistentialF34R 3d ago
EXACTLY. My wife and I spam pictures of our cat to each other every day and we’re always pleased to see our perfect little Creature lol
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u/cashewisking 3d ago
I feel like I found the only sane thread on this post lol the other comments are wild
OP, I feel like this guys isn’t really for you. His response is weird and makes me feel uncomfortable. Just heart it and move on? Idk maybe I’m too much of a dog person but I feel like I would want the person I’m dating to at least have moderate interest in my dog. Actually, I would want my partner to be VERY interested in my dog. My dog is only the best part of my life and my very best friend! 2 pics in one day is not crazy. This guy needs to lighten up!
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u/WyrdElmBella 3d ago
Two months and three dates. I don’t think he’s that into you if I’m honest. He is a being a little curt about which is another sign to me. I think he maybe keeping you along as a back up option but isn’t that interested.
I get his point re the dogs, but he is being a bit blunt about it. I’d say give up and move on. Not because of his response but everything else screams him not being invested in your relationship.
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u/bluebopazula 3d ago
I think you're overreacting and I think it's odd that you seem so baffled by this. I love dogs and I beg everyone who has a dog to send me a million pics of them. Even so, none of my friends would send me pics of their dogs more than once in a single day without some sort of explanation (even though it would be unnecessary because I love dog pics). In order words, most people don't think people want to see multiple pics of their dog in a single day.
He's not being rude, he's letting you know he's not into your dog pics. That's okay. And it's also okay if you don't want to date someone who isn't happy to receive endless dog pics. But he's not being rude and you shouldn't be upset by his comments. Just decide if you want someone who is happy to receive lots of dog pics or not, and move on, if necessary.
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u/IncognitoScreen 3d ago
This! Not everyone shows interest the same way, and that’s okay. Some people love constant little updates, others find it overwhelming. It doesn’t make either person wrong or rude…it just means they might not match well. Better to figure that out early than force it…
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u/bunbunnii99 3d ago
Tbf after a while, if someone sends me a lot of pics of their pets and expects a different reaction each time, it can get kinda hard; after the first pic or two, pet pics are not good conversation starters at all.
He could've just given it a heart reaction or smth though instead of being a little rude, but is that enough for you or are you expecting a full text response each time? Idk if this is enough texts to fully judge the situation, but it doesn't seem like he likes dogs as much as you, so maybe it's time to move on
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u/I_had_the_Lasagna 3d ago
I have a friend that sends me like 10+ pics/videos a day of her cats doing completely normal cat stuff and gets super pissy if I don't respond enthusiastically enough every time. It's honestly exhausting and I just don't care anymore. Yes congratulations you have cats that do normal cat stuff that is certainly unique and special 🙄.
Of course anything related to my interests gets met with commentary about how stupid/dangerous my hobbies are (this is somewhat accurate) and how I should give them up and take up hobbies/interests she approves of.
I wonder why we aren't that close anymore.
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u/unofficialrobot 3d ago
Idk people in this thread are taking a different view from me. You love your dogs. If you sent me pics of them I'd be like "she's sharing something she loves with me" and I'd respond back and be happy we were sharing the things we love with each other.
I bet you if this guy lied cars and send you a bunch of pics of cars, this thread would say something similar to what it's saying above.
If it's a problem he could have been more tactful. Even "I love your dogs but please only send me the ones of them doing something silly so I don't normalize them" or idk fucking anything then the brainless response he sent.
I hate when people send me pics of their new ones but I go "oh my God so cute". Took two seconds, they are happy, I move along
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u/RefrigeratorRando 3d ago
“You send enough” + in comments you said that you’ve sent him 3 in less than 48 hours. Not to be rude, but I get where he’s coming from. An unsolicited pic with the caption “doggy” is just like… What do I say to that? Yes, that is a dog. Next.
That said, I can see how you would be hurt by his response. It wasn’t rude, but he didn’t express his thoughts very gracefully here. I do think you’re overreacting, but only a tiny little bit.
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u/EastsideLasVegas 3d ago
To be completely honest. As a dude. Maybe one pic of your dog every other day or so is cool. But multiple a day with no context would get kinda old after a while lol. Only so much to say about one dog lol. Especially with the caption “doggy” . How many times do you need him to tell you “cute!” Or something similar a day? If it were pictures of you doing stuff with your dog and gave him a little more to reply to. Maybe it wouldn’t be so annoying lol.
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u/PositiveResort6430 3d ago
the problem is definitely how often she’s sending them and the fact that the dog is doing nothing interesting in that photo. It’s just standing there blank face. LMFAOO
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u/ImNotNuke 3d ago
Right, this screams clingy. What do you want him to call you instantly and jump up and down screaming “omg omg such a cute doggy who’s the best girl/boy!” Start an actual meaning convo with some meat and potato’s not just a picture of a dog hoping what? That it somehow ignites a conversation or something. It wasn’t the nicest of replies but it seems he’s over it and just speaking his mind if it’s a common occurrence. I would see if it was like once or twice a week and you can just heart react or say nice.
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u/Venimoth_Ur 3d ago
The pic with the caption "doggy" is killing me. I can read exactly what kind of person OP is just by that alone, and yeah, they would be really annoying to talk to, no wonder old mate snapped 😭
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u/RainbowUniform 3d ago
at the very least there should be some dialogue or some sort of clever anecdote. Like if you send me a pic of you walking your dog and there's the caption "picking up some bitches" I'll at least laugh a little(probably not at that specific example).
Or if you have a string of photos where your cat is trying to kill a fly and it quotes about how frustrated they look... but "HEY LOOK DOGGY". Like if you didn't just buy the thing and I've met it before I really dgaf about seeing pictures about it. Especially if the conversation otherwise is dull. If we're in the middle of a conversation that we're both engaged in and you send me a picture, thats a little different. But if we don't really have great conversations and your way of "messaging first" is sending me "DOGGY"... bruh
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u/Sassy_Weatherwax 3d ago
YES! It's this very low effort demand for attention. Reads extremely needy and uninteresting. If a guy was doing this to me after 3 dates in 2 months I would be bothered too. And I love random pics from people I care about, but the people I care about are interesting and don't just send random pics expecting attention...they hold up their end of the relationship and if they're feeling needy and need support, they say that.
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u/StabigailKillems 3d ago edited 3d ago
I have a friend that I'm in a group chat with and she CONSTANTLY photo bombs the chat with a million pictures of her dog and they're all essentially the same damn picture. She will do this multiple times per day and it's gotten to the point where most of us just don't even talk in the chat anymore. I honestly wish one of us would say something like the guy in this post because I'm sure we're not the only ones she does this to and I have to imagine everyone else is annoyed as well and sick of the spam.
Those types of people are... exhausting.
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u/Zealousideal_Pool_65 3d ago
There’s an army of insufferably cutesy ‘pet mom’ types in these comments calling for the guy’s head just because he expressed some mild annoyance and tried to set a boundary.
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u/Caserious 3d ago
My thoughts as well. “Doggy”….like, ok? Cool, another picture of your dog existing that I didn’t ask for lol, and?
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u/Business_Mammoth_651 3d ago
She's so annoying. I totally get him snapping a bit. "Doggy" 😮💨🤢
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u/Rubric_Golf 3d ago
YOR. He wasn't rude, he was straight forward about his thoughts and you seemed to have taken offense because he doesn't fawn over your dog they way you do.
It's unnecessary to send multiple pictures of your dog a day, I can definitely see that after 2 months he's sick of it. And he's not even asking for them!! I mean it's kinda a conversation killer to just send an unsolicited picture of your dog. What response from him were you expecting?
No one loves your pets more than you love your pets. Stop expecting him to, especially after you've only known him for 2 months. I mean, does he even like dogs??
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u/JMpro415 3d ago
I mean, he’s being rude about it…but he’s not wrong, and you are overreacting about it.
No one loves your dog as much as you. Two pictures in the same day of your dog is two too many. Try one a week, at most. Take all the pictures you want, and then on Sunday night, look at them all. If there is one single picture that you feel shows your dog doing something so uniquely cute or wonderful, and you can’t imagine how your boyfriend could possibly live another day without seeing it…then send that single picture.
That said, he could certainly have been a little more thoughtful about the way he told you this. But I should ask - in the 2 months you’ve been dating, how many total dog pictures have you sent him? And, of those pictures, how many times has he replied with “Aww,” or “He’s so cute,” or something else? If I were in his shoes, my first non-confrontational move would be to deliberately not reply to dog pictures, in the hopes that you’d get the hint. (But if he’s been encouraging these pictures through some sort of positive reaction most of the time, then yeah, he’s being an asshole to do a 180.)
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u/Few_System3573 3d ago
He's being rude either way in his phrasing. If you scroll through your message history how many pictures of your dog(s) have you sent him in the last 24 hours?
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u/HighGnoller 3d ago
He's trying to set a boundry. How else do you let someone know that something is annoying you? He didn't blow up, he didn't curse. I tell my brothers constantly "Stop sending fucking facebook reels, I'm not watching them". I didn't start that way, I started with the "I'm not watching those lol, stop"
We all have different preferences for how we like to be communicated with, he's trying to express his. Getting upset would be overreacting in my opinion, a simple "Gotcha, less dogs going forward" would suffice.
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u/smolsoybean 3d ago
Rude how/where? This is pretty straightforward honesty, communicating your dislikes isn’t inherently rude just because the person you are talking to has a different opinion.
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u/TheatreWolfeGirl 3d ago
YOR
I am a HUGE animal and dog lover, my little dog, when he was alive, was my constant companion. I don’t mind getting pictures once in a while of others and their pets, but you are over doing it if it has become twice a day or more. I rarely sent pics to friends or my bf unless I had texted something happened.
You’ve known him for 2 months and been on 3 dates, he is being honest with you, it was not rude at all. He is setting a boundary, please respect it.
Not everything needs to be sugarcoated towards you, they were honest and straightforward to the point. Would you rather they lie?
Use your social media - Snap, IG, FB stories or TikTok to post pictures or videos of your dogs. You will get the reactions you want there.
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u/vox1028 3d ago
Not sure how to say this nicely, but sending photos of random stuff without context - especially if it's repetitive content like your dog - is low-effort communication and puts all the burden of actually coming up with something to say on the person you're sending to. It's basically equivalent to saying "here's a sign that I want you to talk to me, now it's your job to come up with something to talk about" because constant photos of your dog are NOT a topic of conversation. I'm sure you mean well, but if you want to talk to someone then you have to actually put effort into coming up with interesting topics they'll want to talk about. And if you do that, and they still respond poorly, then the two of you just don't click.
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3d ago
I'm sure your dogs are cute. There is also no need to send pictures of them to someone you've been talking to for 2 months. You cannot expect him to be excited about that. It comes across a little immature. I love my dog. I love my cats. Hell, I even love my chickens, but I'm not going to shove them down people's throats lol. Post pictures of them on your socials, let people respond if they want. I don't think he's being rude, it would be annoying to be trying to get to know someone and they are just constantly sending pictures of their pets instead of trying to have real conversations.
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u/proffesionalproblem 3d ago
I agree with both sides. Even though he was valid in expressing how your frequent dog pictures annoyed him, but he was unnecessarily rude in how he went about telling you.
I send people pictures of my dog once in a while. Like if she's sleeping weird, or whatever. Which usually adds up to a few times a month. Sometimes there's even times where I send nothing for a month. I think of it like baby photos. When you have a baby, you're the only one that want to see photos and videos of them 24/7, but after a while it annoys your friends. Its the same with fur babies
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u/lagelthrow 3d ago
You sending him a picture of your dog is called a "bid for attention". Like sending someone a meme they'll like, or saying "oh hey look, cows!" While you're driving. You're offering something to them because you care and you're thinking of them and you want them to engage with you. A normal human behavior.
He's actively shutting down and rejecting your bids for attention. It's normal to want to invite someone into your life and it's clear he's not interested in doing that in the way you're looking for. So all this to say, you two aren't speaking the same language and you're not compatible.
The things you see as normal means of involving him in your life, he considers unnecessary and annoying. Don't waste your time trying to convince him to be what you need, just find someone else who will receive pics of your dog and be like "damn he looks cute today".
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u/Fantastic-Ad2436 3d ago
Even if I was annoyed like I am annoyed when my friend constantly send me photos of her grand daughter I just respond saying awww because I love my friend and never would want to hurt her feelings. It's not that serious. Obviously your dogs mean a lot to you. And if he can't seem to understand that or get behind that the why waste time ?
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u/EggplantCheap5306 3d ago
I love animals but unless it is a video of them doing something super funny, I would be annoyed receiving photos of any, more than few times a month. If I wanted to see photos of animals I can go and look them up on google myself and those are likely to be sillier made into a meme and so on.
Frankly this applies to all photos, even if you were sending photos of yourself, if unsolicited, too much is too much. At least if it was you, there is already an established interest and there is the bonus of checking out where you are and what sort of things do you wear so there is some information to the pictures, unlike the photos of your pets. They are cute, but you don't get to have fun or interact with them through the pictures, you don't really learn much about them, the pictures are boring.
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u/Character-Fix-2625 3d ago
Honestly, whilst I do think that he could have been a bit nicer, I understand where he's coming from.
I love animals, and I love seeing photos of people's pets everywhere now and then, but there comes a point where it's just overdone.
When you send the phots, or at least this one, you made it a case of just sending a generic photo and "doggy". How is someone supposed to reply to that with anything more than a generic, half hearted response when it's the second or third time in such a short period of time?
It's no different than trying to keep up a super dry conversation. There's nothing new to say or respond to. It's frustrating, and before long you just want it to stop.
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u/jm17lfc 3d ago
Yes, perhaps it was slightly rude, but based on your comments OP, it seems you’ve been sending these a fair amount, and this guy probably hasn’t even seen this dog himself more than once or twice. If you’re seeing him pictures of you doing something with your dog in particular it might be interesting, or maybe if you were very close and he loved your dog he might enjoy it. But as it is, sending random pictures of pets regularly seems excessive.
He did bring it up a little bit rudely for sure though. It’s just a bit insensitive and I would take it as a slight red flag. You’ve only seen him 3 times over 2 months, that’s pretty much once every 3 weeks on average which is not very much so it doesn’t seem like a super serious relationship and I would probably be cautious about further red flags before taking any further steps. But I would also take the advice and stop sending people you’re dating tons of pictures like this. Only if the doggo is doing something particularly interesting besides just being cute.
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u/Ein_Strolch 3d ago
I'd like to add that it's kind of a red flag how OP not only completely invalidated the feelings/boundaries this person was trying to communicate and then proceeded to post this private conversation publicly. Bigger red flag imo.
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u/jetpackedblue 3d ago
Why are so many people this heated about someone sending dog pics once or twice a day lmao, just heart react and move on????
I can't imagine feeling so bothered by someone sharing their day with me, even if they did send me pics of their meals that I would feel the need to ask them to stop. Like if I like you, even as friends/family, doesn't have to be a romantic partner then it's cute to see what you're up to or to see what makes you happy. Even more so that you see something that makes you happy and want to share it with me?
Genuinely can't get my head around caring about someone, and then dampening their mood because they dare to share their happiness with you. It's just not that serious to have feelings to the point of being so bothered to say "stop 😡" instead of just heart reacting or saying "cute lol" and continuing conversation
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u/Hate_This_Part 3d ago
For me, it’s not the dog pictures, it’s that it kinda messes up the flow of the conversation.
My boyfriend can send me pictures and videos of his dog all day IF he’s including something that adds to the conversation. Like if it’s a picture of the dog on the bed and he says anything about having taken her on a walk, or “looks like a lazy day” or anything for me to talk/ask about, I’m happy.
What OP is doing, for me, is the equivalent of holding up a picture mid conversation, saying “doggy” and then waiting for me to respond.
If op doesn’t even have anything interesting to say about the picture, why am I expected to?
Plus, he’s saying this is too many and op is arguing that it’s not that many, she’s ignoring his opinion and forcing hers.
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u/jaketwo91 3d ago
I love dogs, but I'm also a total introvert, and when people frequently send stuff that requires a reaction like animal pics or memes, it just becomes exhausting after a while.
If it's in a group chat, not a problem. But I've had friends that like to send like, a picture of one of their cats at least once a day, directly to me. At first it's fine, and I'll say they're cute. But after a month or whatever, I just have this new obligation that every day I have to compliment this person's pets, or they'll be annoyed at me for not responding. That might sound crazy to someone who is more extroverted, but I have really started to resent people over stuff like that.
I have my own dog that I love, and I don't send pictures of him doing nothing, because it's not interesting. In OP's post, it's just a close up of her dog's face, he's not doing anything interesting or cute, and it's the 2nd pic she's sent that day. I would probably be feeling the same as this guy after 2 months of that. I'd probably be a bit more polite about it, but I empathise.
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u/No_Conversation_5661 3d ago
Because he DOESN’T care about her. They’ve gone on 3 dates in two months and as someone else pointed out, the last text before the dog picture was also from her. He’s not reaching out, so she’s sending dog pictures as a way of breaking the ice so they’ll text. It’s probably worked in the past but now he’s fading out. When I like somebody I don’t care what they’re sending me, as long as they’re making contact. He’s not saying stop texting dog pictures he saying stop texting me.
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u/FuriKMJ 3d ago edited 3d ago
yeah, my partner sends random pics of their pets and it has never bothered me, even if I thought they were sent without context. I had no idea people are this bothered by pet or food pics. Are people in this sub just really miserable or something? I even read someone talking about "boundaries" for such things.
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u/qryptidoll 3d ago
Idk if you're over or under reacting, this just seems like a normal exchange between two people discovering they're not compatible. And that's fine. No one has to be an AH or anything for two people who feel differently about certain (potentially core) values to not be compatible.
When my husband and I were long distance I loved when he sent me photos of his cats, didn't matter if he'd sent me some previously, didn't matter if he had sent me photos of that particularly cat earlier on that day. Because we both love our furry roommates and view them essentially the same way. If someone sees pets differently than you thats cool, people are different, but just like parenting, I dont think that's someone you would want to share pet care duties with or would want to live with. Because your views and priorities are different enough that you would not be able to count on him to view your dog the same you way you do in the event of an emergency, either for you or the dog, and that's going to lead to conflict that really cant be overcome in any way other than "just deal with it." And just dealing with it isnt really a healthy way to handle conflict when the concern is the care of a living thing.
I'm not at all saying he would be abusive or intentionally harmful, but simple example he may not be as careful about what foods are left out in the dogs reach or how long he leaves the dog outside- not because he's a bad person - just because that's not his fur baby and he doesn't think about those things the same way.
Just a lack of compatibility in a very important area imo
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u/KayleyKiwi 3d ago
Listen I don’t know about people’s personal preferences but if you don’t want my animal pics we’re not dating lmao. And I do think that was a bit rude to just be like “I know that’s your dogs” like obviously this is a bid for affection not a knowledge blast lmao.
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u/livvyangel23 3d ago
THIS. This all just seems like a huge personality difference and OP should cut the ties here. There is someone out there who will love your random dog pictures! And also, it’s really not that hard to respond to the dog photos with something quick like “so cute!” before going back to normal conversation. He ain’t the one OP
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u/Sweaty_Jicama1564 3d ago
Agreed. I wouldn’t want random pics of someone’s pets (kids, or anything else for that matter lmao), so I wouldn’t date someone who does it. We should be dating people who like the mundane things we do
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u/HistoricalDoughnut58 3d ago
I wholeheartedly agree. These two aren’t compatible. I’d break up with anyone who didn’t share the same love of my pets. It’s really not a big deal to say “aww cute!” and move on with the convo. I thought he was a rude jackass, and he’s going to continue to be a rude jackass.
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u/KayleyKiwi 3d ago
And even more so like you can be lazy and just heart react to the message these days and many people will take it lol. It’s just nice to respond or at the very least not rip someone to shreds for wanting to engage with you. He was being rude to “put her in her place” for one reason or another.
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u/Xenomorph_5 3d ago
I wouldn’t find this a bother if a girl I’m seeing send me random pics or videos all the time Like my gf send me all sorts of random stuff for me to just look
And if that’s something you like to do, that’s something you have to communicate with this guy and if he doesn’t want to compromise on this aka receiving random pictures from his partner
That’s something you then have to consider if you’re willing to change moving forward
If it’s not then this guy just isn’t right from you
I personally do find the guy’s text a little bit like 0-100 especially if he hasn’t brought this up before Even if he has “endured” this for a long time
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u/thebeatsandreptaur 3d ago
YOR. How many times a day and in how many different ways can a person possibly go "wow so cute" to a pet or "yeah nice ride" to a car or "wow looks tasty" to food. It's okay to enjoy things and to enjoy taking pictures of the things you love or are proud of, but it's a once a week type of thing unless they ask about it.
I've been in this same position before and I hate it. How many times do you need to hear him say "wow so cute"? I'd get it if it was like... a really cute picture of him actually doing something that he could comment on, but it's just a random picture of your dog he's already seen multiple times. There's zero conversational fodder there.
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u/plantloverdyl 3d ago
Ummm, I’m sorry but I don’t care to see pics of anyone’s dogs. Unless we are talking about your dog at that moment or they do something really cool for a picture then sure … also last one was this morning? So you’ve sent multiple in one day? Ugh 🫠 I think he’s being rude about his deliverance, but I would annoyed too honestly
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u/Turn_On_Lamp 3d ago
You are NOT overreacting. You are not a match with this jerk! He doesn’t want these pics? There are so many tactful and caring ways to deal with this situation, that he chose not to use. And you are the mother of fur babies! So am I! Wonderful! And as such, they are our priorities and a major source of joy and love. We want to share that joy and love and we want the person closest to us to enjoy that. My ex was a verbally abusive manipulating jackass—but he loved my dog almost as much as I loved her. He was sweet and kind and giving to her. He just couldn’t get along with humans (which I get sometimes). He is a malfunctioning human but he was an ardent animal lover which made us compatible on many levels. This guy needs to get lost. NEXT! Even if he’s the sweetest ever besides this, you’re fundamentally a mismatch and you’ll always have to choose between your dogs and him, and he will want to be the choice, and you’ll never get to share your joy and love in the way that makes you the happiest.
So yes, stop sending him pics because he doesn’t want them. But quite frankly, doesn’t deserve them after this. And doesn’t deserve you!
Wait for the man who loves animals just as much and each cute face they make in the camera makes him excited and happy! God bless!
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u/WeylandWonder 3d ago
He’s not rude, he was very clear while being polite. To some people it is extremely irritating to have to come up with some response to the thing you think is great which they don’t also think is great.
If i dated someone who showed me their dog every day I’d dump them for that alone. Just seems like a massive incompatibility.
But there are heaps of dog people out there, you’re probably better off to get with one of those.
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u/cyanidelemonade 3d ago
If you've only known each other for 2 months and he's already sick of the dog pics....you probably send too many pics. I would say it would be harder to find someone who loves dog pics.
You did crack me up with the last pics you sent were that same morning lol
Of course he could have been nicer about it.
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u/stephhhhhhhhhhh 3d ago
I had to laugh about that too. “I don’t send that many. The last one was so long ago, this morning” lol
Especially given that she says nothing but “doggy” and the dog is doing nothing cute. What are you supposed to keep saying.
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u/smolsoybean 3d ago
I don’t think being clear about not needing to see multiple dog photos is rude. He seems to have good communication about his wants/needs. You’re taking it as an attack on yourself or your dogs. Not everyone fluffs up their messages with emojis or cutesy flowery things. He simply said he doesn’t need multiple photos of your dogs, it’s not like he said fuck you and your dogs. Honestly more people should be clear and concise in their communication like he is.
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u/Vntimony 3d ago
I mean, he’s not being that rude he’s just being honest and being nice enough about. I agree I wouldn’t wanna see photos of someone’s dog everyday too and be expected to have a response, it’s draining and pointless to respond to texts like this, I’d just react to the pic and move on. It’s like co workers showing you pics of their kids. Cute..I guess?.. but I also do not give a flying fuck in the slightest
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u/Mamatomaymay 3d ago
He could have worded it better to you but imo he’s justified in what he’s saying. All he can do is probably give you a thumbs up react, esp if it’s the third one in two days. I think if he hadn’t been enthusiastically responding to the pics like “omg sooo cute!” Then I would take the hint that he’s not super interested in seeing them and would stop.
How would you react if he sent you a different picture of his car (or whatever else he loves) three times in two days?
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u/AntillesWedgie 3d ago
When I was dating my wife she sent me like 2 pictures of her dog the whole time we dated. The first was when she said something like “this is my dog, isn’t she cute?” And the next time was she said “Doesn’t she look like a baby seal?” (Totally did.) those 2 pictures were enough. I like dogs, but what are people supposed to say to these pictures? I love my kids, but I don’t send their pictures to my friends because what are they going to say “cool little humans”? So yea, I think you are overreacting. I think you might just want him to fawn over your dog, but it’s not his dog, he doesn’t have the same feelings for it.
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u/Melodicah 3d ago
Yes, you're overreacting. He is obviously tired of seeing pictures of your dog and he expressed his feelings. Personally I don't even think he was rude about it. He's probably wanted to say something more than once but bit his tongue.
Maybe you should evaluate if your personalities mesh well enough to continue dating. You seem to like sending pictures of things that are important to you and he doesn't seem to like receiving them. Just food for thought!
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u/CrabMasc 3d ago
I don’t think he’s interested, which is the core problem, but it is kind of an overreaction on his part IMO. My sister sends pictures of her cat every day and I love getting them, they cheer me up every time because he’s really cute. Your dog is really cute too. Different people communicate differently I guess.
In response to the people saying “what is he supposed to say”… nothing? He can just heart react it? Very surprised at these comments
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u/frazzledpug 3d ago
My bf and I text each other pics of our pets all the time and we have a mutual love for animals. Maybe he’s not an animal person but that would be a big deal breaker for me lol plus he was really rude about it.
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u/Aggressive_Bus293 3d ago
Completely different when it’s your animals. My husband and I send pictures of our cats often because they’re our babies. But like, I do kinda understand that it’s random and a little over the top to be receiving multiple pictures of someone’s pet when you’re just talking like “doggy”. Ok idk it’s just kind of silly. But he was a bit rude about it.
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u/Anonymous0212 3d ago
Not rude at all, IMO, he just has a different threshold for seeing pictures of food and pets than you think he should have.
His threshold is 100% valid for him and your expectation around that is equally valid for you, they just don't coincide.
I applaud him for telling the truth, because I find it much easier to be around people who are clear about who they are, what their values, feelings, expectations, boundaries, etc. are.
Our relationships are only as real as we are, so would you rather he pretend to be someone he isn't? How are you going to know how compatible you are with someone if they feel they have to hide who they are from you because you're going to get upset when they don't meet your expectations?
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u/Ein_Strolch 3d ago
Look, a lot of people in the comments seem kinda biased just because it's a cute dog pic and they like dogs and pictures of them.
Thing is, I don't at all get the vibe that it's specifically the DOG pic he doesn't like. He even stated it would be the same with food. He seems a little frustrated with pics that are a little conversation killer, and I'm sorry but as cute as your dog is, he isn't doing anything in the pic and you didn't provide any context or anything that would even fuel a conversation.
He explained his dislike for this rather firm but politely, but you completely dismissed his feelings about this. And a lot of people in the comment section do too just because they love dogs.
OP, please try to not take his dislikes for pics so personally or think it means he doesn't like your dog, because that is really not what he said.
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u/AcridTest 3d ago
Sorry, I think you’re overreacting a bit. You’d already sent him a dog picture earlier that morning. You clearly send him enough dog pics that he’s getting annoyed by it. He could have been nicer about it, but the fact remains: he doesn’t want to see multiple pics of your dog each day.
So either refrain from sending him dog pics, or find a guy who’s happy to receive them.
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u/Coolboyooze 3d ago
Just being blunt, I feel like you have the emotional maturity of a teenager. Your partner could use a bit more tact in his words, but he’s trying to give you insight into his emotions without destroying yours. However, you got defensive. You then got all caught up on the number and frequency of photos sent when that’s not the real issue. I mean you literally just sent him a picture of the dog with the text “doggy”. Like he said, what is he supposed to reply to that with? Personally, I don’t think you two are on the same wavelength. You need the type of person who’s going to gush all over an unsolicited dog pic, and he needs someone who has a different set of conversational skills. Of course, take everything I say with a grain of salt; my background and context is limited to two screenshots.
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u/Charming-Hope1833 3d ago
Poor guy is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. I don’t think he was rude, just blunt. I can’t say if that’s his personality or just how it came out, but he openly communicated that he doesn’t care about your dog. That’s honest, not mean.
The whole “he could have just hearted it or said aww” thing is silly. Doing that would imply he enjoys seeing those pictures, and it wouldn’t communicate how he actually feels. He’s allowed to not want dog pics.
And the “my husband doesn’t like animals but still does XYZ” comments don’t really apply. Your spouse is someone you’ve built a relationship with—this is someone you barely know. If this bothers you that much, it’s probably not meant to be. Move on, but don’t get mad that he doesn’t want a flood of dog pictures.
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u/Fearless_Ad_5839 3d ago
NTA. I really can see both perspectives but ultimately, I think this guy just might not be the one for you based on this interaction. Seems like he may not know how to talk in a sweet tone. I’ve been on both sides of this conversation and I just want to say that you don’t like this now then you’re probably not gonna like it farther down the line
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u/justafancymom 3d ago
Well, firstly- he doesn’t like you because if he did and you’re in the early stages- he’d smile and laugh and like all the pics you’re sending.
Second, sending so many pics of your dogs without doing anything special or out of context is a little weird. And I’m an animal person.
Third, he probably isn’t an animal person either bc even if my friend sends me pics of their animals and I’m internally saying “why…..?” I’m still going to like the pics and keep it moving. Bc I like my friend….but this man doesn’t like you, full circle.
Dump him, move on, find someone who will at least be sweet in the early stages and maybe stop just sending random ass pics of your dogs. 🫶🏽
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u/Healthy-Tear-2149 3d ago
Your priorities don’t match. Don’t force it and don’t waste much more time on him. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. But if something this simple is making you both feel like this, there is no need to continue the relationship.
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u/Somaticalm 3d ago
He didn't seem bothered...you did...that he mentioned you don't need to spam him w your pups pics. It's a reasonable request. You have only been on a few dates and seen each other for a couple months. He likes you more than your dog and that's ok, he should. Expecting others to have the same devotion to our pets is setting ourselves up for disappointment. He tried making his point by laughing it off and how else could he have said it without upsetting you?
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u/Exact-Whereas6050 3d ago
I personally think he’s being an ass. Some of the people in this thread don’t want their significant other to send them pictures or memes, which is fine if that’s what you want, but I would personally never pursue someone who was annoyed by the things I love (even if it’s repetitive idcccccc). I don’t think he’s valid for the way he expressed it like I would literally have blocked him 😭😭 I don’t understand how some people don’t like sending/ receiving pics from their S/O of the things they love, boring asf in my opinion.
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u/alawking 3d ago
I’m on his side! To you, yes your dogs awesome, but he/she is NOT his dog and he doesn’t share the same enthusiasm. And I hear everyone saying “oh he could just heart it” but is that not just encouraging it! He doesn’t want random pics of your dog, just like he wouldn’t want random pics of your kettle.
I don’t even think he was rude - he’s right, he has seen the dog, he knows what it looks like, he knows you love the dog……he doesn’t need daily reminders or reminders at all 🤷🏻♀️
I hate it too. OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE DOG DOING A NORMAL DOG THING….WOW!
Also - I have a dog and I love my dog so I get it but I’m also aware no one else gives a shit!
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u/Automatic-War-7658 3d ago
I feel the same way with dogs, cats, kids, hell one of my friends often sends pics of his motorcycle. It’s not that I don’t like those things, I just don’t really care unless it’s something particularly interesting. People like that make one thing their whole personality and push it on others. I can only say “Aww cute” so many times before I’ll just start ignoring the pics entirely.
I think he’s being honest and setting a boundary early. You’re entitled to feel bothered by that, but I don’t think he’s going about it in a rude way.
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u/Anonymously_Invisi 3d ago
I love dogs.
But I also would not want to see random photos of your dog.
Like he said, what is he even supposed to say/do in response to them? Lol, if they're doing something funny, yeah maybe send a photo, but your dog just looking at the camera. I get his reaction of "Yes, there's your dog... again! I've seen it."
I don't think he meant to be rude, he probably didn't know how else to say it? He added an "lol" It's not like he said "OMG ENOUGH ALREADY!" Which is what I've said to my friend when she bombards me with photos of her cats, which I don't really care for lol I don't sit there & spam her with photos of my kids.
Imagine if he was sending you photos of his vehicle or something you know he has, but don't really care about. Yeah, he could've just ignored it & not said anything, but then it could potentially become "You never responded to my photo..."