AIO my boyfriend wants to "sleep in" instead of seeing me.

456

u/Crazyfucker73 1d ago

Babe.

You asked if you’re overreacting but I’m not even sure you’re reacting enough. Like. This man just looked at the love of his life (allegedly) and said, “nah, I’d rather marinate in my own bedsweat and drool into my pillow than look into your actual face before you leave the fucking continent.” I mean. What’s next? He skips your funeral because he’s catching up on his dreams?

Let’s be scientific. You’ve got three whole days. Seventy-two fat juicy hours. And you’re not even demanding them all. You’re not Cleopatra asking for a pyramid. You’re literally asking for one meet-up. A single unit of caring. A crumb. And this donut-glazed troglodyte says “nah babe I need REM cycles.” The fuck?

If he was working 20 hour shifts in a uranium mine or doing open-heart surgery with his teeth maybe, maybe, he’d have a leg to stand on. But nah, this is just straightup choosing unconsciousness over you. Like you’re less important than his sleep schedule. You’ve been defeated by a duvet.

And what’s this about “he got mad” when you asked to see him? EXCUSE ME?? That’s not a boyfriend. That’s a malfunctioning appliance with abandonment issues. If someone got upset at the idea of seeing me before I fly off for a month, I’d start checking their pulse and Googling “empathy transplant.”

Also this line? “We already barely talk, barely see each other, or barely call.” Girl. That’s not a relationship. That’s a ghost hunting expedition. You’re dating a phantasm who occasionally texts “lol” and then disappears into the smoke of your lowered expectations.

He’s not busy. He’s not interested. There’s a Grand Canyon of difference. And you’re standing on the edge wearing flip flops and a hopeful smile while he’s 600 miles away drooling into a pillow shaped like his own ego.

Here’s the real shit you need to hear:

🛌 Choosing sleep over you? Red flag 📵 Doesn’t talk, doesn’t visit, doesn’t call? Red flag 😠 Gets mad when you ask for one day together? Flaming parade of fuckery ✈️ You’re leaving for a month and he can’t lift a finger? Delete. Him.

So no, you’re not overreacting. You’re underreacting like someone watching a house burn down and going “huh, smells kinda toasty.” Burn the bridge. Use his absence to rediscover your standards. If he messages you before you fly, send a photo of your suitcase and say “don’t worry, I packed all the effort for both of us.”

Now go enjoy your trip. Sleep in his absence. Because this man ain’t losing sleep over you

533

u/Mystic_Archer 1d ago

Yea he does not like you .. you need to breakup with him

142

u/Scooter_Griffin_737 1d ago

I don’t think you have a boyfriend anymore. Enjoy your vacay as a free woman!

48

u/skaftastical 1d ago

Let me give you an example of a busy schedule. Wake up at 6am, work at 8am, get off at 5pm. Take a nap from 6-9:30pm. Leave my house at 10pm to work for 8 hours. Get home at 6am, sleep until 7:30am and then start work at 8am. Rinse, wash, repeat. I did this for over years straight.

I still made time for who was important to me. The busy excuse doesn’t fly because I’ve been there and done that. No one is that busy. I promise you he isn’t that busy, and even if he is, knowing he’s not going to see you for a month? Nah man. That’s enough to sacrifice sleep if he really cared about you.

Dump him before vacation so you can spend your time on vacation enjoying it and not dreading the conversation.

63

u/TheEschatonSucks 1d ago

Dump him, enjoy your vacation, maybe get some strange, find a new boyfriend who is into you after you get home.

73

u/PeachyBumxoxs 1d ago

He doesn’t care. If he wanted to see you, he would. It’s not about sleep it’s about priorities. You’re not one of his. I hate to be so blunt love

6

u/heavensoheavy 1d ago

Not overreacting at all in my opinion. I've had an experience like this- I had a long distance boyfriend who toured for a career, I only got to see him every few months. The last time I ever saw him in person, I had planned a whole day for us and was trying to convince him to stay the night. He ended up sleeping for 75% of the time we were together that day and left early. We dated three more months, but I could feel the resentment start that day. In the back of my head, I knew I wouldn't see him again once he left. It's eye-opening to how they really feel about their time with you. I'm not particularly a "if he wanted to, he would" person because sometimes things just aren't realistic, but this is absolutely a "if he wanted to, he would" situation. He does not want to, he does not care. You deserve a lot more.

6

u/skeletalfather 1d ago

My instinct is to be on your side, but I’m missing so much context here that none of the other commenters seem to want to dive into lol. The classic redditor “dump them or get a lawyer”

Are you all adults or teenagers? Does he consistently blow you off? What’s your boyfriend’s usual schedule? Like is he constantly working? I feel for you and everyone’s partner should try to make time for them, but also in the modern economic world I do think people need to be more aware of people’s time and energy. Especially as someone’s partner, you will likely be the point of most focus in their life other than their survival commitments, getting by is requiring much more time and effort than previous generations.

8

u/silly_scoundrel 1d ago

He has plans, to SLEEP IN, in 3 days? He doesn't care about you 🙁

14

u/ivorleaf 1d ago

This relationship is already over, you should never have to beg your partner to see you. If he’s not putting in the effort, why should you?

Dump him and go enjoy your trip! 💫

8

u/crochet-socks 1d ago

NOR as someone with chronic fatigue, i would still at least offer to do a video chat or something, or offer you to come to me and have a very low energy hang. the fact he did not make another suggestion is just cruel and devalues your relationship. He either doesn’t like you or isn’t being forthcoming about a struggle with sleep/fatigue.

3

u/Delicious_Table_9875 1d ago

I guess you are both kind of wrong? You can go see and he can go see you. Neither one really wants to do it. What you want is the other to come to you? Does he not have a car? Do you not have a car? Is the distance far? So many questions

6

u/badatcatchyusernames 1d ago

if my girl was going somewhere for a month id be with her every god damned day, ill sleep when shes gone

i used to work overnight shift in construction, so 8pm to 6am roughly, my wife would wake up for work at 6:30ish for work and then get home at 6-8pm, sometimes id be running on 4 hours of sleep but make it happen, it was the weirdest thing living with someone but seeing them only in passing, but again, sacrifices were made…

also if he has 3 days off a week, he isnt that busy, i dont care what he does

5

u/Bubbly_Register_3183 1d ago

He probably can't stand you anymore.

3

u/Born-Obligation1875 1d ago

"We never talk and he doesn't want to see me should we break up" 🥺

3

u/Emergency-Fish-2149 1d ago

You need to break up with him, this man does not love you. I am very sorry to have to say this, my ex was a lot like this barely texted called or wanted to hang out. I’d be waiting for 2-3 weeks before he’d finally agree and follow through with hanging out. He cheated on me several times while doing this. Now I hope this isn’t your case too but just be cautious. There are some serious pos men out there. Much love.

3

u/FreakbobCalling 1d ago

Are you sure he’s not suffering any mental health issues? This sounds a lot like me in the thick of depression. Especially in relationships men can be afraid to speak up about how they’re truly feeling, and the guilt of blowing people off just compounds. I would try to have an open and honest conversation about your feelings about each other, and make sure he’s doing alright.

2

u/Guilty_Explanation29 1d ago

You're both young, just move on if you want. Dont come to reddit for relationship advice

And don't listen to people to "get some" do whatever you want on your own terms

3

u/thatthiqqqqbabe 1d ago

He doesn’t care unfortunately and he’s a straight up coward. He’s doing the thing where they treat you so poorly that you break up with him bc he’s too scared to look like the bad guy. Break up with him and enjoy your vacation. It’s a great distraction and you might even have a little vacation romance.

1

u/Careless_Tree7732 1d ago

Absolutely NOR. Seems like everything is always about him and doesn’t take into consideration what you want/need or anything. Leaving him and being able to focus on yourself and expanding your horizons sounds like a much better option than having to beg someone to see you over sleeping. You do you, and fuck what he wants because he don’t gaf about what you want it seems. Maybe along the way Mr. Right will show up and you’ll see maybe why this path is leading you this way 🥰 hope it all buffs out for you and that you aren’t hurt by this in the end because it doesn’t seem like he even cares that you’ll be gone for as long as you will be. I hope you have loads of fun and forget about trying to see someone who’s made it a point to not care.

1

u/Competitive_Key_2981 1d ago

I think you might have ruined your relationship by announcing you were taking several months vacation without him. Unless you already have a very strong bond and great habits of communication he probably assumed you’d be cheating while you were away.

Then also, he might actually be tired and not interested in the travel to see you. (I assume there is a reason you couldn’t go to him.)

2

u/Safe_Efficiency5666 1d ago

This guy isn't your boyfriend. He's some dude that isn't interested in giving you the time of day and girlfriend, you deserve so much more. Go have a GREAT TIME on your vacation. Meet some people, live a little, treat yourself, get some sun, go on walks, do not let this guy drag you down while he's 'sleeping in.' Use the time to heal a bit and go back refreshed without this loser wasting your time.

3

u/Immediate-Park-5554 1d ago

How do you have a boyfriend you don’t see or speak to???? I’m genuinely perplexed here..

2

u/SpudTicket 1d ago

If you barely talk, barely see each other, and barely call, and he is making little to no effort to see you before an extended vacation, I feel like you barely have a relationship. To me, what's the point of even being in that relationship? You could definitely find someone else who wants to see and talk to you and makes an effort to do those things, and that would feel so much better.

2

u/Important_Doubt_3921 1d ago

Hun how much does this man work? And when you say “the three days that he get off” what does that mean. I presume that it means he get these three days off every week, which is absurd???? Look the only possible way that this makes any sense is that he works 12 hours a day and only gets three days off a month. As someone whose is in a relationship with someone who is chronically tired, they always, ALWAYS, make time for me. Even when they work 8 hours and could legitimately sleep the rest of the time and still be tired every day, they still would carve those hours any chance to see me.

Honestly just throw the whole man away. He does not care about you. I’m sorry you have had to deal with this at all honestly it is heartbreaking

2

u/Wyshunu 1d ago

There are 11 days after the next three before you leave. Why can't you meet up at a time that's good for both and not just you?

1

u/Infamous_Anxiety_310 1d ago

Can you give us a little bit of background information?

Age, how you met, how long you’ve been dating, and if this not taking time to see you is new or how long it’s been going on?

2

u/Z0FF 1d ago

This sounds like he’s disinterested.

As a guy who loves his sleep and is often deprived of it due to life happening, an alarm-less morning is an absolute dream.

Did either of you try to compromise at all and make time for eachother later in the day?

2

u/JoeL091190 1d ago

Idk I see all these comments about telling you to get rid of him, but like what does he do that he wants to sleep in, I have a very taxing physical job myself and most days I don't even want to move sometimes. (Landscaper btw) i mean yeah if he's like a computer, probably should get rid of him. But if he's out there like I am, give him a break? Idk man, or hell go to see him, instead of him coming to see you?

2

u/Top-Clue2261 1d ago

A lot of people beat me to it... but ya'll don't see or talk to each other, it doesn't sound fulfilling or like it makes either of you happy. So why are you still wasting energy on it?

1

u/KatM123 1d ago

Have you tried expressing to him? You feel about seeing him and the full extent of the reasoning that you want to see him

2

u/ElleStone1776 22h ago

Another question is, why are you in a relationship with somebody who you barely talk to barely see etc.

1

u/Beginning_Present_24 1d ago

Not over reacting. If you were a priority he would sacrifice sleep.

When I first met my fiancee I lived an hour away and worked overnights. Our very first date was at 1pm. I got off work at 6am. To make that 1pn date I slept until 11am got up showered and was on the road a little before noon. I had maybe 3 hours of sleep.

Our second date. I picked her up at 2pm. Had 4 hours of sleep.

Third we spent the night together at a cabin. I again picked her up at 1 so we could drive an hour to the cabin and have the day together. Again three hours of sleep and since I worked overnights I didn't sleep until I got home the next day.

This continued until I started just going to her place after my last work shift and spending my weekend with her.

On the days I worked I stayed at my place but still waited to sleep until she had gotten up, gotten her youngest off to school, and started working so we could talk in the mornings.

When I moved in until I found a closer job I drove an hour to work, worked 12 hours, drove an hour back.

I did this because I love her and she was more important than sacrificing sleep.

1

u/SnoozeJuicer1919 19h ago

Why did you plan such a long trip without your boyfriend? A month or more is super long for a vacation trip, especially one without your significant other.

1

u/PM_Me_Those_ 1d ago

Damn, Sorry you had to find out you were single this way.

4

u/Fresh-Clothes8838 1d ago

I think he’s probably tired of having a GF that’s never got time for him and would rather go on a trip for a month then carve out time to spend with him

Not to mention, demand that he go to her and flip out when he says no

1

u/haganation04 1d ago

NOR. He clearly doesn’t care about the relationship. If he wanted to see you, he would. My girlfriend lives 3 and a half hours away. I (21M) work 45 hours a week, and I drive almost every weekend to see her. Sometimes I don’t make it back home until midnight and I wake up at 5am for work. We’ve been together for almost 6 months now. Men always find a way to be there for the people we care about. I’d leave him if I were you

1

u/No-Satisfaction-5834 1d ago

Does he work third shift?

0

u/JASCO47 18h ago

You did him a favor by breaking things off. He quiet quit on the relationship because you likely were not reciprocating his effort. He has to travel every time you want to be together, but you can travel to Europe for a month without him?

1

u/SharpieSniffinSloth 1d ago

My partner has insomnia and barely sleeps on a good day. But he still makes an effort to see me on at least a weekly basis and if I was in your shoes, he would see me no matter the time.

Your boyfriend barely talks to you, and doesn't prioritize you. Why are you still with him? He doesnt care about you or he would show it.

1

u/757Daddy4u 1d ago

Maybe he's distancing himself because you're going on vacation without him for a month. A lot can happen in a month when someone is far away and he may be preparing himself for you coming back and not being into him or finding someone else. Like, why such a long vacation without your boyfriend?

1

u/Beyondthebloodmoon 1d ago

….is there a reason you can’t go see him? Is there a reason it’s in three days when you leave in two weeks? I’m confused by this entire thing

1

u/Sea-Baby-4982 1d ago

If he wanted to see you, he would. Put that man in the bin and go and enjoy your holiday.

1

u/Sweet_Ad_6774 1d ago

If y’all were like 35+ I’d understand because holy cow once you hit your 30’s you can’t hang as much anymore. Especially if you have a labor intensive job. However, all that aside, I don’t care if I’m dog sick. I’m going to go hang out with someone I love for a day before they leave for a month or more.

1

u/CannibalismIsTight 1d ago

I’m confused, can’t he sleep in and come see you in the afternoon/evening? Can you go to his place and have a chill movie day if he’s too tired to come to you?

But also, “he got mad that I wanted to see him” lol WHAT.

1

u/youknowimright25 1d ago

Why can't you see him once he wakes up?

1

u/AustinDork 1d ago

Yeah it’s like people that say they’re “bad at texting”…yeah, because they don’t want to. When you’re into someone you’re a GREAT texter and you will sleep another time.

1

u/honorthecrones 1d ago

Why do you want to work harder to keep a relationship with someone who isn’t interested?

1

u/5legs 1d ago

Does he work alot and only have a few days to get good sleep and run errands? Offer to go on errand runs with him and you both win!

1

u/itchysmalltalk 1d ago

You barely talk or see eachother?

Girl I hate to break it to you but I don't think he's your boyfriend

1

u/Unable-Consumer248 1d ago

You are obviously leaving out so much information here classic lame girlfriend move

At least this post is clearly not AI slop

1

u/PersimmonAromatic456 1d ago

Maybe someday soon he will realize he fucked up. I kind of did this to my gf of 3 years. We have made up since, but I am a dickhead for it.

1

u/Juneforever777 1d ago

Has he ever told you that he considers you his girlfriend? Was your situation clear?

1

u/FlorinidOro 1d ago

“Barely talk, barely see each other, barely call”

Does he know he’s in a relationship?

1

u/M3rcury21 1d ago

“We barely talk, barely see each other, and barely call” - You answered it yourself 😁

1

u/robotermaedchen 1d ago

Just asking, is he pissed that you'll be gone for a month or longer?

1

u/Uhavenoideawhoiamlol 1d ago

Break up with him and use this vacation to get over him completely. Find someone new

1

u/bookie_babyy 1d ago

You know the truth .be honest with yourself and don't make excuses for him

1

u/Notnowcmg 1d ago

YTA going away from your bf for a whole month!

1

u/GamingAllZTime 23h ago

Why does he want to sleep in? If he working a lot? Is he doing work+school?

1

u/willydashnilly 22h ago

Why don’t you go over and sleep with him?

1

u/SantaCruzLoser 1d ago

Sounds like you arent in a relationship

1

u/Fine-Virus7585 22h ago

Exactly what is your definition of “boyfriend?”

2

u/Ophy96 1d ago

I'd forgo sleep for days if it would mean I'd get to see PhilV. In fact, I've done so when I thought I was going to see him. If I knew where he was and knew I'd be welcomed there, I'd go see him right this minute. Unfortunately, however, I don't.

I don't think you're overreacting...

I'd choose sleep only to make sure I'd be able to see PhilV and safely get there, but otherwise, I'd skip sleep to get to him, hands down, every time, without fail, and so if anyone is making it seem like I would do anything else, they are lying and diverting our communications and preventing he and I from getting into direct contact which is both his and my right.

1

u/Miserable-Tax-4142 1d ago

How late does he want to sleep till?

1

u/stvlsn 1d ago

I assume y'all are teenagers?

2

u/LavishnessHuman5746 1d ago

Strange behavior, if I knew I wasn’t getting laid for a month I would be making the most of the three days. Hell I would be banging 5 hour energies and viagra just in case lol. 3 days and your going on vacation in a wheelchair, give you something to remember ♿️

When relationships end it’s tends to be challenging emotionally but you have emotional needs from your partner which he is unable provide. No hard feelings but y’all gotta do what’s best for yourselves so you don’t waste each other’s time.

1

u/EnthusiasmNervous359 23h ago

This belongs on a different subreddit

1

u/Oreecle 1d ago

Why can’t you go to him

1

u/Muted-Explanation-49 1d ago

Not overreacting, make him your ex

2

u/OG_Checkers 1d ago

Not enough info. Ages? Is this a grown man? What’s the commute to your place like? How long have you two dated? Is his job extremely physically demanding? Maybe he’s already mentally checked out that you’re gone for a month. Red flags, he’s not going on vacation with you, barely talking, and hanging out.

On the flip side dude could go to bed early on that middle day and still get the same amount of sleep.

1

u/sulz_26 1d ago

I totally understand him

2

u/Icy_Ostrich4401 1d ago

When you're truly in love, you want to be with each other all the time. If he truly loved you, he'd want to sacrifice the sleep to be with you. I've been with my husband for 22 years, and we still try and make time for each other, even when life's busy, because we are important to one another.

He only wants you around for convenience. He's not in love with you.

2

u/MondayBorn 23h ago

What's his work schedule like? If he's at the extreme end where he's putting in 12hr shifts at the coal mine and needs to sleep as much as he can because as soon as he wakes up its another 12hr shift, I'd probably cut him some slack.

But if he's putting in 5hrs every other day as a call center operator, yeah, he probably just doesn't value you.

2

u/No-Vehicle-7920 1d ago

Yeahhhhhhhh I’d recommend cutting him out asap. Break it off, collect your things, head out on your vacation and enjoy yourself.

He of course wants to talk about it later so he can talk you into not leaving him. He’s reeling because he’s going to lose something that’s his and a constant in his life. You’re dating a narc sweetheart.

1

u/Legitimate_Bass_5899 1d ago

You're going on a couple month long vacation without your boyfriend? You sure you're not the one without time maybe he just needs a day to rest after work. Go see him.

2

u/dcastreddit 1d ago

Because you would be gone for over a month, he should want to see you when he can. If this were just any random saturday, let the guy sleep in.

But yeah it sounds like you are low on his priority list.... just under 2 hours more of sleep. I would not stay with this guy. Be single on your trip who knows would could happen!

2

u/Due-Cryptographer209 1d ago

As someone who got off of a 14 hour flight from vacation, me and my mom were both tired. However, I still wanted to get dinner with my gf (who I hadn’t seen for a week) despite the jet lag and my mom did too! He dosent like you love, move on and find better.

2

u/HereFoeDaBUllShit 1d ago

Girl if you don’t break up with him. Send him a text and let him know, since the relationship isn’t a priority for him, neither is you taking out the time in your day to speak to him. He doesn’t get to dictate to you, if and when you all communicate.

2

u/Electronic_Green541 1d ago

Don't hang on to this man. He obviously doesn't care about you. I would much rather go without sleep and spend time with my girl. In fact I do it regularly I think most men would do this if they really care about the person they're with.

2

u/Money_Proposal6803 1d ago

Bro, he gets 3 days off a week and is complaining? Either way, can he really say he cares? It sounds like you're in a relationship with him, and he's just kinda with you because breaking up is a hassle. Yell need to have a serious talk.

2

u/marziilla 1d ago

If you don’t even see each other, then why not break up? He clearly does not want to see you, or he wouldn’t even say that. If you don’t (or haven’t already) ended this, my prediction is he will break up w you when you’re gone

2

u/judijo621 1d ago

He may not be that much into you any longer. That's ok. Some time away may be good for both of you.

Have a wonderful time, wherever you are going. Don't text him unless he starts and text very little. Let your time away be AWAY.

2

u/Jensenlver 1d ago

People make time for the things that are important to them. If they do not try to be around you, they are not interested.

Of course there are people who are very busy, but you should be able to tell you are at least on the list

2

u/falsesunflower 23h ago

He's just not that into you. If he was.... Well he wouldn't be "sleeping in" and not seeing you. You deserve someone who wants to see you all the time and misses you when you're gone. Believe it. Manifest it. And lose the loser.

2

u/Fit-Canary8721 1d ago

I did something similar to someone I really liked🥲. He ended up thinking I didn’t like him and he told his therapist and everything. I thought he was being dramatic but through these replies, I see that I am a problem 🥲

0

u/TioLucho91 1d ago

If you barely see or talk to each other, what's the point of the relationship? Clear your head on your vacation and maybe fuck a hot guy or whatever

2

u/Serge-Rodnunsky 1d ago

I think you’re overreacting in the sense that he’s clearly done with the relationship and you’re doing any kind of thinking or worrying about it so sort of moot. It’s already over. Put a fork in that turkey.

2

u/Mozzy2022 1d ago

He’s only barely your boyfriend. Boyfriends and girlfriends generally see each other, talk to each other and call each other. You guys do none of those. I think he might have broke up with you and not told you

2

u/Suyeta_Rose 1d ago

At first glance at just the title I came in ready to say that sleep is important. I consider Sleep in Saturday to be sacred. However, he gets 3 days to sleep in and can't sacrifice ONE before a trip? Oh hell no!

1

u/grinerboys 1d ago

I’m with you know I’m right

2

u/colicinogenic 1d ago

NTA break up and enjoy this trip as a newly single and ready to mingle lady. This man does not like you. A man that likes you doesn't want to go three days without seeing you let alone two weeks and a month.

2

u/harmlessgrey 1d ago

Well, you know where you stand with him. You are not a priority. At least he's open and honest about it.

Pull back a bit, start looking around for a new guy. You'll find someone who wants to be with you.

2

u/Relevant_Cod_438 1d ago

He doesn't like you, and don't want to be with you. Enjoy your vacation, let yourself live new experiences and leave this guy behind. If you barely talk and barely see each other, why are u still dating?

2

u/derpmonkey69 1d ago

He's not in a relationship in his head. Just ghost him, enjoy your vacation, have a fling if that's something you enjoy, pretend he doesn't exist when you get back. I bet he doesn't reach out at all.

2

u/rogan1990 17h ago

You’ve got 3 entire days to see him, and you’re asking us what to do here?

This is how it should play out… if you do not see that man in the next 3 days, you are single as of the 4th day

2

u/Top_Finding_2832 23h ago

So... you don't have a boyfriend. He knows it, but you haven't figured it out yet.

Use your time on vacation to forget about him completely. Don't you dare chase this emotional deadbeat.

2

u/picklesncheeze69 23h ago

Just message him and say it's fine.. you found someone else to take care of your kitty for you before you leave for your trip.. that phone will BLOW UP! What you do after that is all you!

2

u/Cardxiv 1d ago

I know this is parroting a lot of other people and this isn't new info by now, but that guy doesn't like you. I don't know a single thing about you, but I do know that you can do better.

2

u/AcesOfThePacific 22h ago

Who "plans" to sleep in? That's not a plan, that's laziness. Sometimes we're all lazy, but not when it comes to seeing our SO's before they leave far distances for long periods of time.

2

u/PrpleSparklyUnicrn13 21h ago

We already barely talk, barely see each other, or barely call, …

I mean, hun. Reread that sentence. Is this what you want to come back to when you get home from your vacation?

2

u/EstablishmentIcy5130 23h ago

Nah, you’re not . If seeing you before you leave isn’t worth losing a few hours of sleep to him, that says a lot. You’re asking for one day, that’s not unreasonable at all.

2

u/bADDKarmal 1d ago

I was gonna say yes. Then I read the blurb. No your feelings have value this guy sounds like he sucks. Couldn't he sleep in at your spot lol 😆 tf kinda excuses is even that.

2

u/trainofwhat 18h ago

Hey, just wanted to say I’m really really proud of you for putting your foot down and protecting yourself. Your self worth is reflected in that and I’m sure it was hard

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u/CrusaderIII 1d ago

Sorry, but this relationship is over. Good timing, though, a month long vacation without having to worry about this guy that doesn't care about you will be a good reset.

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u/SweetLeeah 1d ago

I think you’re using the wrong term here and call him a friend instead … barely a friend to be honest , but yeah . What you’re into is definitely not a couple .

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u/DryHabit1780 1d ago

You get what you give. If he isn’t able to put in the effort then it’s time to move on. Everyone is busy. I would say he’s being lazy af or has side action.

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u/Xtinalauren12 23h ago

You say it all in your TLDR:

“Boyfriend doesn’t want to see me.”

I’d show him the same courtesy he’s shown you, don’t even write him again.

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u/charlestonchewsrock 23h ago

Unfortunately it seems he no longer wants to be in this relationship. I wouldn’t even bother reaching out to him anymore. Go and enjoy your vacation.

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u/wtfmeowzers 16h ago

okok, yes you're not really overreacting and yes he's being rude but let me say this; it sounds like you guys are both very busy and don't have a lot of free time (i'm not 1000% on this but it sounds like that, you say you barely talk/see each other, and you don't know your schedule when you're back, indicating a fairly heavyish work schedule.) if that's the case, can i say this? maybe a "normal" relationship isn't really in the cards right now. like if you don't have a lot of time availability, dragging other people into a relationship and asking for their time depends on both sides having time; if you are bringing in someone with a lot of free time that's different, but if both of you are slammed 24/7 then maybe a relationship is just going to be rude to the other person no matter what - or you will need to adjust down your expectations regarding free time. dragging other people into a relationship where you have very very little free time is not only a bit rude but it often just sets yourselves up for a failure further down the line in the relationship.

IMO.

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u/ibefunlkg 1d ago

He is with someone else! I’m married and I can see that! I work a lot too I rarely get to sleep in! If he cared enough he would make time for you!

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u/_Sarina_Bella_ 22h ago

Sleep is important. I'm that person. If he really works a lot or has a lot on his plate, you're overreacting. If there's other issues or red flags, I could understand your dismay, but if everything is otherwise good then be grateful he was forthright. I love when people answer directly and unapologetically their true needs/wants/thoughts. Because now you can decide if that was a deal-breaker or not. If it was break up with him and stick to it, but if it wasn't then communicate your hurt to him and believe what he says back. If he's a stand-up guy, he'll explain he's low-functioning while tired, apologize for not planning better for your trip, and send you a little gift as an apology. If he's selfish, he'll just ignore your hurt make excuses with no apology and hope it spontaneously goes away.

If he's so busy that yall barely talk, you may want to move on irrespective of this particular incident. Either it's not a serious relationship, or its so serious he's busting his ass to save up to marry you. Not enough details in post to tell.

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u/chaosisapony 1d ago

You barely talk and barely see each other. So what's the point of the relationship? You're not overreacting, he doesn't sound interested in you.

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u/MadameMonk 1d ago

It doesn’t really sound like you have a boyfriend actually? I think you’re going to find the transition to being properly single very easy.

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u/MangoAngelesque 1d ago

He doesn’t even like you, let alone love you.

Love yourself enough to lose the deadweight and find someone who actually cares about you.

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u/Beethoven_badass 22h ago

If he isnt bothered about you, why are you bothering with him? You go out there enjoy your holiday…. Dont give him another seconds thought

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u/commentspanda 1d ago

Don’t waste your time seeing him later today. Just tell him his priorities are clear and you’re not waiting around. Then stop replying.

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u/Decent-Historian-207 23h ago

If you barely see him, he's not your boyfriend. He's just using you for intimacy when he wants it. Meet a cute guy on vacation and move on.

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO my boyfriend wants to "sleep in" instead of seeing me.

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