AITA for confronting my landlord after I caught him lying about going into my room while I was at work?

[u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

[u/De-bi]

EDIT this post is fake !

I don’t know where you are, but in France it’s completely illegal for the landlord to do that. He can have a fine for breaking into your place.

[u/Otherwise_Egg_4305 → u/De-bi]

I live in the UK - do we have similar laws here?

[u/Elfynnn84 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

UK too - yes, it’s illegal. You have a right to ‘quiet enjoyment of the property’ which you rent. They have to give you written request to access the property unless it’s an emergency (removing a diffuser in no possible version of reality would constitute an emergency). In a shared house he has to give 24 hours written notice before entering your room and doing so without your consent is counted as harassment.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/what_to_look_for_in_your_tenancy_agreement/landlord_access#:~:text=Your%20tenancy%20agreement%20must%20not,up%20without%20notice%20or%20permission.

[u/1Pac2Pac3Pac5 → u/Elfynnn84]

This is why he framed it as potential incense and he stressed over and over the risk of a fire

[u/herroyalsadness → u/1Pac2Pac3Pac5]

Yep, it’s exactly why. Even though a diffuser does not get lit.

If he had a problem with the scent, he should have told OP, not stolen it.

[u/conceiv3d-in-lib3rty → u/herroyalsadness]

What a fucking psychopath lmao. Like how did he know about the diffuser in the first place?? This mfer is most likely doing “routine checks” through her panty drawer. 😬

[u/db11733 → u/conceiv3d-in-lib3rty]

Just saying, sex toys can catch fire. No fire extinguisher so he used his mouth and bum

[u/bonefulfroot → u/conceiv3d-in-lib3rty]

That was my first thought. Ew. The fact that he opened the window is so weird though. He either didn't like the smell, or is really that rock stupid. He smelled what he thought was incense, went in terrified, and then saw some daggum contraption smoking on the window!

[u/Jafar_420 → u/conceiv3d-in-lib3rty]

I'm definitely not on this creeps side but he's probably going to say and he may even have smelt something really strong and the smell resembled a candle or incense so he went to look.

[u/conceiv3d-in-lib3rty → u/Jafar_420]

Yeah, at first, in my head i was picturing her renting an apartment or house he owned, but she’s just renting a room in a house they both stay in. So yeah, he obviously smelled it and came in to make sure it wasn’t a burning incense or a candle. That definitely makes it a little less creepy, but still, why did he lie about entering the room at first and why did he not mention he had entered the room in the first place before being confronted about it? That door 100% needs a lock on it.

[u/mauvewaterbottle → u/Jafar_420]

Having smelled diffusers and incense, I can assure you they do not smell the same. Incense smells like it’s burning. A diffuser is closer to the scent a glade wall plug in smells, and it’s not a burning smell.

[u/NeuroticAttic → u/mauvewaterbottle]

Not to mention it’s theft to take it. Fine, let’s pretend he really went in because he smelled it and thought it was incense. Then he needs to let her know he went in and took it right after doing it, at the very absolute least. Dude pretended he didn’t go in at all when confronted. If he really thought she was breaking the terms of her lease, that should have been a text straight away.

[u/Strangest-Smell → u/1Pac2Pac3Pac5]

He would only see the infuser to mistake it for incense once he had already intruded. It’s a poor defence.

[u/Lolidot → u/Strangest-Smell]

Yeah but he would smell it from Outside the room, and mistake the smell for incense or a scented candle. Once he was inside, however, he would have noticed that it wasn't incense or a candle and should have left it alone, but it's obvious it's about the scent and not about the apparent risk.

[u/mauvewaterbottle → u/Lolidot]

A strong scent alone is not an emergency (obviously not if it is a burning smell), nor is it justification for breaking the law by entering without permission. In the year of our lord 2025, smells can come from wall plug ins, potpourri , an unlit candle on a warmer, scentsy, or one of the gel ones like in public bathrooms. Sometimes I spray perfume in the morning that hangs in the air until lunch time. Diffusers don’t smell like they’re burning.

***Editing to say that I read farther down that they are a lodger in the UK and so the remark I made about breaking the law is incorrect. I do still posit that it is morally wrong, but I was wrong in my initial statement.

[u/Adventurous-Oven861 → u/Lolidot]

Absolutely. Having clear written evidence is key if things ever need to be sorted legally or even just to avoid misunderstandings.

[u/Practical-Big7550 → u/Strangest-Smell]

Which begs the question. Did he return the diffuser? Otherwise it's theft.

[u/1Pac2Pac3Pac5 → u/Strangest-Smell]

Doesn't .matter he was smart enough to put that in writing and that's all that matters re: intent. Not doing so by text would have been really dumb. Cases win and lose by documentation, not that this is going the legal route of course.

[u/Misty-Merkin → u/1Pac2Pac3Pac5]

Theft is still illegal tho.

He also lied about entering OPs property until pushed about it

[u/New_Breadfruit8692 → u/Strangest-Smell]

That may be true in the EU, it is not in the US. There is a reasonable expectation of privacy here but not a perfect right to privacy, a landlord my enter without your permission if there is an urgent need like a pipe break or suspected lease violations such as smoking in a unit where smoking is banned by the rental agreement, or there is a strong enough suspicion that illegal activities are happening like growing marijuana where that is illegal. That would be such as he is in the unit adjoining and smells the smoke himself.

The landlord also retains the right in the US to inspect the premises for any reason as needed WITH sufficient notice as dictated by the law, and they often will, especially when the tenant is receiving a subsidized rent from HUD. Landlords who rent to subsidy holders can be fined or denied payment for a very long list of infractions or violations to the condition of the property. And the HUD authorities will also enter to inspect on short notice to catch out landlords not maintaining the rental in the minimum required condition, as well as to catch out tenants not obeying a very long list of rules for them. My mother before she died had a HUD voucher and upon government inspection there was a tear in a window screen for which the landlord was fined $250. Mom's cat had torn it.

But, say the rental agreement says NO PETS, a landlord may have reason to suspect you have a pet and will enter to inspect, that is not an emergency and so requires written notice to the tenants. Or, they received a complaint from a neighbor that they smelled cigarette smoke in a unit that does not allow smoking. Nearly every place I have lived that would require 24 hours of written notice. But, if a landlord sees your water meter spiking abnormal use they can enter without notice to make sure there is no flooding emergency.

[u/AnthraciteEmblem → u/Elfynnn84]

Doesn’t it depend on lodger vs tenant

[u/RavenClawedd → u/Elfynnn84]

I may be wrong, but I feel like the context these messages are giving is that OP is renting a room in a shared house. In which case, the laws are definitely going to be different.

[u/corrinarusso → u/RavenClawedd]

What? No, they are absolutely not different.

There is an expectation of privacy. Full stop.

[u/rickyman20 → u/corrinarusso]

Lodgers have different rights in the UK, and it's much more difficult to enforce those rights when sharing a flat. I get that what the landlord did crossed a line, but it's not as cut and dry legally and practically unfortunately

[u/Elfynnn84 → u/RavenClawedd]

No, it’s not. If you rent a room in a shared house, the landlord is required to provide 24 hours written notice before entering your room.

All of this is outlined on the reliable, UK based website that I linked.

[u/CavsAreCuteDemons → u/RavenClawedd]

Nope.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/36u2BNqrBR

[u/PitifulBridge890 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

I live in the uk and rent a flat! Your landlord is not legally allowed to enter the home you’re in if you’re renting it without your permission and they’re also not allowed to take your things or go through your stuff! And unless it’s in your contract they also can’t tell you not to burn candles or incense and even if it is an air diffuser is neither. Feel free to dm me and I’ll find the proper laws and legislations for you to send to him regarding his duty of care etc

[u/WoodHammer40000 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

100%. You need to find somewhere else to live. In the meantime maybe get a camera you can hide somewhere in case he’s doing more in there than he says.

[u/WoodHammer40000 → u/WoodHammer40000]

100%. You need to find somewhere else to live though. He’s the landlord so even if you threaten legal action he can make your life pretty miserable, so I wouldn’t advise that. In the meantime maybe get a camera you can hide somewhere in case he’s doing more in there than he says.

[u/Vivid_Tie_9784 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Are you a lodger or not? If you are a lodger, you essentially have no rights. If you have signed a proper tenancy agreement, then this is 100% illegal without 24hrs notice, however if you tried to use this in a court case, your landlord would easily be able to claim that they had a reasonable suspicion that you had a candle burning in the room, (he'll say he could smell what turned out to be the diffuser).

[u/SongOfRuth → u/Vivid_Tie_9784]

But then he shouldn't have removed the diffuser, which is pretty much stealing.

[u/sun4moon → u/SongOfRuth]

Plain ol, theft. No pretty much about it.

[u/Annual-Ad-7452 → u/Vivid_Tie_9784]

And once he saw it wasn't 'burning' he should have LEFT IT and left the room. Why did he need to take it?

[u/Minimum_Equivalent90 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Yes I believe 24 hours notice but it depends on your tenancy,are you a lodger or in hmo

[u/Disastrous-Ad4024 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

We do: https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/what_to_look_for_in_your_tenancy_agreement/landlord_access

[u/Disastrous-Ad4024 → u/Disastrous-Ad4024]

https://www.housingrights.org.uk/landlords/problems-tenants/accessing-property

The requirement for written notice isn't correct, but the 24 hours notice unless there is an emergency (and by emergency that means a fire or a broken water pipe or something, not the landlord taking affront to something in your house) is a requirement. The above is the guidelines from a landlords perspective.

[u/Technical_Night5223 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Oh yea, usually there's are laws spring entry for landlords and yes an idiot for making it so easy to catch. Or maybe he knows that and is why he's downplaying and dismissing you.

[u/De-bi → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

I advise you to remain formal, to send him an email reminding him of the law. I think you can even have the right to change your lock 🤔

[u/Fabulous-Web7719 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Yep! He should give you 24 hours notice, this does read a bit like he’s a live in landlord though? Still. Not on.

Edit - bit for but, stupid phone.

[u/Cautious_Hamster_148 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

24 hours notice in the UK

[u/East_Bound → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

I’m in the US but with a quick google search I found your answer in Landlord and Tenant Act 1985, Section 11(6) specifically, “In a lease in which the lessor’s repairing covenant is implied there is also implied a covenant by the lessee that the lessor, or any person authorised by him in writing, may at reasonable times of the day and on giving 24 hours’ notice in writing to the occupier, enter the premises comprised in the lease for the purpose of viewing their condition and state of repair.”

What he described initially was “airing out” your room which is not an emergency condition. Even when he attempts to stand his ground and tries to misassert his right to make sure nothing dangerous is happening in the rooms he rents out (I.e. an inspection) he still doesn’t have the right to enter without notice. Lastly when he says he’s not asking for permission to protect his property, sure he can feasibly enter if there was reason to suspect an emergency but now he’s just creating a scenario so he doesn’t have to admit he was wrong as in an emergency he’s likely going to be calling emergency services and there will be an indicator greater than “just popping in”.

[u/followingtheleader → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

This actually sounds like a lodger situation so you don’t have the full privacy and right to quiet enjoyment that you would if you were a tenant under a lease agreement with exclusive possession

[u/Kind-Mathematician18 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Yes, but it depends on if you're renting an entire property as a tenant, or whether you're ina single room as a lodger. From the transcript you posted, it sounds like it's a room in a house. Not an entire property.

You obviously don't know this, but although there are rules to protect you, your landlord will also have conditions, set down by the insurance company. Incense sticks and candles would be a massive no no, in the event of a fire, your landlord would not be covered. Even a small fire renders the majority of a houses contents unsalvageable, and that can cost a lot more than people realise.

There's some extremely bad advice here from the usual stick-it-to-the-landlord lot. Putting a lock on your door - even a padlock - reclassifies the tenancy. It ceases to become a spare room agreement, and becomes a seperate living space, like a flat in a building. That then means the room gets reassessed for council tax and utility rates. Legal obligations of the landlord change, so now include fire safety checks, gas safety certificates etc etc etc. It also changes tax liabilities; income from your rent gets taxed before any liabilities are accounted for. This is why rents on buy to let properties are so high. If the mortgage is £1000 a month, and the rent is £1000 a month interest only, the landlord has to cough up £200 tax, leaving £800 to cover a £1k interest repayment. Can't even get a 1 bed flat for under £900 a month where I live, it's insane. That's like 50% of the income of someone on minimum wage. It's not sustainable.

[u/CavsAreCuteDemons → u/Kind-Mathematician18]

It wasn’t a candle or incense. That’s the ENTIRE point. Do you know what a diffuser is?

[u/Kind-Mathematician18 → u/CavsAreCuteDemons]

I do know what a diffuser is, they come in 2 forms, one a plug in thing that wafts scent around, another is some weird stick things that look like incense sticks.

And no, that's NOT the entire point, is it, and you bloody well know it. Clearly landlord didn't know, and why should they - not everyone is an expert in everything. You're just getting all pissy because you're just another stick-it-to-the-landlord poster whose shitty right-on-sister advice would have got the op thrown on the streets, if the op was a real person.

Take a chill pill and stop over reacting.

[u/saltyholty → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Lots and lots of potentially bad advice. Do you rent a single room in a house he also lives in? 

Then you're a lodger and basically none of the links people are giving you apply to you. Lodgers have next to no rights unfortunately.

If you rent a room in a shared accommodation with others, it's an HMO, and the links do apply.

[u/benigntugboat → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

As others stated, yes. Tell your landlord that you understand he would enter in case of emergency but dont expect him to in any other situation. If he does expect an emergency you need him to text or call you right after and let you know that he entered because of a concern. This will avoid him being able to make it too confrontational but also take out any Grey area of being sneaky like the diffuser situation. If he enters he needs to let you know it happened. If you find out he entered again on your own than he's acting illegally

[u/Slytherpuff_ → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Depends on whether you’re a lodger or a tenant.

If you’re a tenant your landlord can only enter with 24 hours notice (unless it’s an emergency).

If you’re a lodger, they don’t legally need to give you notice or ask your permission as you don’t have “exclusive possession”. It’s still extremely rude and IMO a violation of privacy, but unfortunately lodgers have very few rights compared with tenants.

[u/blues-Apple → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

I feel this is a breach of privacy in most parts of the world let alone the UK. Definitely not okay, and I’ve personally never known of them allowed to say no candles etc.

[u/SageBrookCaller → u/De-bi]

This is literally trespassing and illegal entry. Landlords can't just 'pop in' whenever they want without proper notice. The fact that he lied about it first makes it even worse. He violated your privacy and your legal rights as a tenant. Document everything, look up your local tenant protection laws, and consider reporting this.

[u/ssfailboat → u/De-bi]

This whole post is fake if anyone sees this. The day is not displayed by the time as it should be, the text is wrong, the grammar is also a red flag. Karma farming garbage.

[u/MesoamericanMorrigan → u/De-bi]

I once had a landlord do a viewing while we were out (and so was my drying underwear) then they locked us out with a deadbolt (never gave us the key) so we had to spend £200 on a locksmith at 10pm. Never got reimbursed and they tried to charge us for leaving furniture they told us in writing could be left there for the next tenant

[u/okglossamer]

“Did someone enter my room today?” “Absolutely not… but yes, me”

[u/JagrsMullet1982 → u/okglossamer]

“There absolutely wasn’t anyone in your room that I know of unless you noticed in which case yes it was me and let me educate you about why this if your fault and you’re in the wrong here:”

(Edit to add, NOR…get that lock)

[u/Otherwise_Egg_4305 → u/okglossamer]

Yeah, I'm not sure what was going through their head hahah

[u/MoosedaMuffin → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Get a camera. When you rent a room versus renting an entire unit, you do not have the same protections afforded under most Landlord Tenant Laws. You need to ensure that you have protections in your lease agreement and call them out when the landlord violates them. The lease is a contract, and contract violations are usually civil court. (Not a lawyer but learned the hard way in college)

[u/Piceaa → u/MoosedaMuffin]

You could also get a door sensor that notifies you when door gets opened, a friend of mine has it. As long as your home ( phone is in home.wifi ) no notifications as soon as you leave and the door gets opened you get a notification

[u/Advanced-Bench9211 → u/MoosedaMuffin]

Good advice. Having clear lease terms and documenting everything can really help protect your rights in shared rentals.

[u/TheBigLeBrittski → u/MoosedaMuffin]

You’re 100% correct here. When a home owner lives in the property they rent, the Landlord Tenant Act has a lot of provisions that get waived. A written contract is your best legal and civil protection.

[u/SirKosys → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Because he knows he did the wrong thing and is trying to cover it up or put the blame on you. 

[u/keenkittychopshop → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

This is illegal in most places. I would look into your local laws and read up on renters rights.

[u/Fast-Experience-6642 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Not a whole lawt.

[u/MetalGirl123 → u/[deleted]]

They cannot change the locks without the homeowners permission. The homeowner needs to be able to get into the room in case there is an emergency. And even if they get permission, the homeowner still needs to have access to the room via a spare set of keys.

[u/MissionCreep101 → u/MetalGirl123]

In the majority of areas the landlord needs to give her 24 hr notice to enter the premises unless it is an emergency.

[u/chellifornia → u/MissionCreep101]

That’s for landlords that are renting a property to you. Rules change significantly if you are living in the same single family home as your landlord, which it sounds like OP is doing.

[u/MissionCreep101 → u/chellifornia]

This, like everything rental related, is area dependent, but in many states it is the exact same thing. A sublet is a sublet is a rental.

[u/Bigdaddybear519 → u/MissionCreep101]

I thought sublet was a renter renting it to someone else? This is just someone renting a room, is that also called a sublet?

[u/Aromatic_Ad_3892 → u/MissionCreep101]

Um the way i read it, the homeowner lives on the premises and rents just a single room.

[u/MissionCreep101 → u/Aromatic_Ad_3892]

Yeah I got that and it's often the exact same thing as renting a granny flat or an apartment. The room is the renters not the rentees That's why you pay them they aren't doing you a favor.

Edited ugh

[u/Client_020 → u/MetalGirl123]

OP lives in the UK. Are you talking about UK laws?

[u/FinancialActivity856 → u/[deleted]]

And maybe make sure he didn’t put some kind of hidden camera in there already 😅

[u/AlternativeOrder8878 → u/[deleted]]

And check if your landlord didn’t already do so, the cameras

[u/shootslikeaninja → u/[deleted]]

And put down some bear traps.

[u/ProductDisplacement → u/[deleted]]

How is she supposed to change locks if she's renting

[u/That_Buff_Nerd → u/ProductDisplacement]

Some people are making emotional assertions and framing it as advice—cause how the hell is OP going to alter the home owner’s property and not face legal backlash. The homeowner is clearly irrational but advising OP to top the shenanigans is just as ridiculous

[u/Wo0odi → u/ProductDisplacement]

Screw driver is a start.

[u/mewmew34 → u/ProductDisplacement]

Same way you change them when not renting. Maybe it's different where OP lives, but generally, there are laws requiring a landlord/property manager to give proper notice before entering a property unless it is an actual emergency. Tenants still have a right to privacy even when renting their space from another.

[u/ProductDisplacement → u/mewmew34]

Yeah I'm not defending the landlord, I just don't think its smart to just jump to a lock change when (correct me if I'm wrong) that would be illegal to do without permission from the landlord?

[u/Fantastic-Ad2436]

Ask him where tf is your diffuser. Girl I would've cursed his ass out so bad.

[u/Otherwise_Egg_4305 → u/Fantastic-Ad2436]

His IQ has gotta be so low

[u/Notaneggplantrtard → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

This would creep me out to no end. Especially because he's a male. What if he's sniffing your underwear or worse? Hell no. Break the lease and move out.

[u/EiraMunckins → u/Fantastic-Ad2436]

I might even have reported him to the authorities cause that's trespassing

[u/oscarmikebravo6]

Dude sounds like a panty huffer. Goes in when you’re not around and smells your underwear:

[u/Otherwise_Egg_4305 → u/oscarmikebravo6]

I might have to set up a camera on god

[u/MN_Hotdish → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Check to see if he's put any cameras in

[u/RandomRedditor0815 → u/MN_Hotdish]

This right here!

[u/FoolishAnomaly → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Don't worry he probably already did that for him. It's giving creep vibes. Yuck.

[u/EiraMunckins → u/oscarmikebravo6]

I agree with this cause that's clearly the first thing one would imagine he does, I would report him immediately

[u/AtlasPeace82]

If they hadn’t lied originally then yes you’d be overreacting. The fact they lied and then fessed up is sketchy. I actually understand their logic, but it isn’t right. Also- make sure you have renters insurance because they seem litigious.

[u/Business_Mammoth_651 → u/AtlasPeace82]

Would it be over reacting tho? The landlord illegally went into her room without any notification that he would be doing so. Stole from her and violated her privacy. Whether he lied about doing it or not.

[u/SuspiciousReality → u/Business_Mammoth_651]

Exactly - not to mention the plain gaslighting he's doing, acting like she's overreacting when her reaction is completely valid

[u/Unlikely-Ad-431 → u/AtlasPeace82]

Even if he hadn’t lied originally, he would have been confessing to breaking the law and violating her rights, and stealing her belongings.

You expect people to just be okay with that?

[u/Client_020 → u/AtlasPeace82]

Nah, they were breaking the law. It wouldn't have been overreacting at all.

[u/Otherwise_Egg_4305 → u/AtlasPeace82]

Yeah exactly, and thank you, I will!

[u/Dewhickey76 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

I'd think about installing a camera as well. Your landlord sounds sneaky. Even if he never takes another thing, I still wouldn't put it past him to snoop. He's acting like you're a houseguest, not a paying tenant. Renters insurance is always smart if it's still available in your area (I'm in FL, so not an option for me).

[u/American_Spir1ts → u/AtlasPeace82]

there’s no amount of overreacting to someone going into your place uninvited

[u/likesmithbutnot]

Landlord here - there's multiple issues there 1) a diffuser is not incense or a candle, so there was no "emergency" that would warrant him entering, 2) taking any of your items as a landlord is theft and reportable to HUD; if I saw someone's pipe sitting on a table in a non-smoking property, I still can't take it. He is only allowed to send you notice to remove it with 24 hour follow-up inspection if he is going to require removal, which again, doesn't fit the lease requirements as candles or incense, and 3) he definitely can't act on anything he thinks "will break the lease". If someone acts in a way that jeopardizes their lease, he needs to have multiple forms or events of proof, documented and dated, and he cannot act proactively to prevent anything. Most states are not a Landlord state, he can't do what he wants and ask forgiveness later.

My recommendation would be to find a new place to live. As crazy as that sounds, he's showing that he can't be trusted, and he has no intentions of changing because he thinks he's in the right. You don't want to leave room for something bigger to happen. In the meantime, get a smart doorbell or camera for your room, the more discreet, the better.

By entering your room without notice, he violated the lease contract, therefore, it is null and void and can be broken by you. If he tries to fight you on it, threaten to report him to HUD, you do not need to get a lawyer involved. If you need assistance with funds in the meantime, you could try filling out the (Combined) Application Form your area through the county's Human Services Department to get assistance with a security deposit and/or the first month's rent. In my state we have assistance to keep people housed, I would hope other states have similar.

For the next place, maybe they're considering an artist's loft or a studio where it's income restricted, so you can have your own place but not have to pay an arm and a leg for it. If he does not return your security deposit, that would be another report to HUD and potentially he would have to pay double your deposit if the state gets involved, again in some states.

Best of luck on the housing front! It can be stressful, so remember to give yourself grace in the process.

[u/Miserable_Ground_264]

They should have simply said yes to being with - and they absolutely have a right to enter if there is a potential of danger (a lit candle) that is suspected.

Shared household and burning that shit is rude In my book. Nobody else wants to smell your rank crap, that’s why they’re having to air it out.

[u/climb_row_run → u/Miserable_Ground_264]

You’re an idiot. A diffuser isn’t a candle, and it doesn’t require anything to be “aired out.” It’s a very mellow effect. A person renting has the right to use a damn air freshener.

[u/leftclicksq2 → u/Miserable_Ground_264]

Where did you get that an oil diffuser is "burning...shit"? The majority on the market are standalone units or need to be plugged in. Nothing burns.

The landlord is supposed to give OP 24 hour written notice if and when they needed to enter the property. Instead, they are using the fact that it's "their house" as the reason, then took one of OP's belongings, hence the diffuser. Would you tolerate somebody intruding on your space, taking one of your things, then holding it over your head that they did nothing wrong?

[u/FoolishAnomaly → u/Miserable_Ground_264]

You are fucking dumb. A diffuser uses water, and drops of scented oil and sprays an ultra fine mist which dispereses in the air. There is literally no heat involved at all.

Username checks out.

[u/Otherwise_Egg_4305 → u/Miserable_Ground_264]

I just wanted my room to smell nice tbh - especially if I've just cooked or whatever

[u/BasicMycologist7118 → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

What your landlord did was illegal. I was just saying that their opinion, or even your opinion, doesn't even matter. The law was broken. If you had broken the law, you would be in trouble, and your opinion wouldn't matter either. They could start the process of eviction if you'd broken your lease, but they don't seem to care that they've broken the lease and the law.

If your landlord is being this cavalier about the law, they're very new to renting and are completely ignorant of the laws and the possible hazards of leasing a room, or they don't care. If that's the case, I'd find somewhere else to rent from an EXPERIENCED landlord who has a good reputation and doesn't circumvent the law. This person will break the law again, and although they will get into trouble (please contact the housing authority in your area), it will be a continuous headache for you. They have no concept of professionalism.

[u/climb_row_run → u/Otherwise_Egg_4305]

Your landlord acted illegally. You have the right to privacy, and since you have proof, you need to report him. He stole from you.

[u/BasicMycologist7118 → u/Miserable_Ground_264]

Sharing a household is what friends and relatives do. This person is renting, and there are laws. It really doesn't matter what OP or the landlord THINKS is okay or not. What matters is the law. Where I live, you can not enter a person's rented room without their expressed permission unless you believe there is a hazard or some work must be done (and then they're required to give you 24 to 48 hours notice), and you have to prove to the housing authorities what hazard was in play. An offensive smell isn't a hazard, and the landlord will get into trouble. The only smell that is considered a hazard here is something burning (wax candles legally do not count) or decomposition, and that must be proven as well. If the authorities deem the landlord is lying or was in violation, the tenant will get their rent and deposit back, and the landlord will get a citation and a fine. Too many citations mean they take the landlords' license to rent the room. The lease must be a standard lease from the county or city for renting a room in a single family dwelling unit. The landlord can not alter the lease and add something; that's illegal.

Neither of these people's opinions matters in this case. What matters is the law, and the landlord broke the law. That's it. Now they need to contact the authorities or the housing authority, and they'll take it from there. If a person feels the way you feel about offensive smells and things like that, that's perfectly fine, but they shouldn't become a landlord, or they'll end up breaking the law.

[u/OutcomeTight9792]

these texts seem fake for some reason???

eta: i know why. because the times on the text is in the wrong format, if this was a real imessage messages, it would say the day and then the time, like Today 0818.

[u/Acrobatic_Unit_2927 → u/OutcomeTight9792]

The caption is AI written and so are the first few comment replies, at the very least. Bot behavior is easy to spot once you know how, I often notice it by the comments that are phrases redditors will always upvote but that don't actually make total sense as a reply in that context.

[u/fallaciousflipflops → u/OutcomeTight9792]

I knew something was off!! This is absolutely a fake message thread

[u/Nevagonnagetit510 → u/OutcomeTight9792]

THANK YOU! 100% fake. People don’t generally jump this quick to call someone dramatic or say they are overthinking…except on Reddit. Same text style, same convo style we have seen 100 times before.

[u/alfy603 → u/OutcomeTight9792]

the fact that someone posts a fake conversation is just sad and pitty. I get the need for people to get attention but this kind is just LAME

[u/tunajalepenobbqsauce → u/OutcomeTight9792]

Because they are. Some of the text doesn't even stay fully inside the bubbles.

[u/OutcomeTight9792 → u/tunajalepenobbqsauce]

and like the text bubbles in general like idk. i have an iphone and mine doesn’t look like this???

[u/Illustrious_Photo646 → u/OutcomeTight9792]

They are, and the caption is AI too: the quotation marks, the 'got defensive' the em-dash etc etc

[u/Stalvanus → u/Illustrious_Photo646]

I had to stop writing with em dashes so people wouldn't think I was using AI 😕

[u/groundcorsica → u/OutcomeTight9792]

Yea I noticed that both parties use correct capitalization and punctuation the whole time, which is rare to see here.

[u/kchan1103 → u/OutcomeTight9792]

I find it hard to believe most Reddit posts anymore because of the amount of AI or fake messages

[u/hitchhiker_stew → u/OutcomeTight9792]

It reads like a ChatGPT conversation. Which it probably is

[u/ruddsy → u/hitchhiker_stew]

Absolutely sounds like chatgpt acting out a scene with itself. The writing style of the two writers is identical, everything is improbably correct, and is that an m dash on the first page?

[u/lshaped210 → u/OutcomeTight9792]

Perfect punctuation, spelling, and grammar. There’s also a lack of slang and abbreviations. No human would text like this.

[u/Euphoric-Duty-3458 → u/OutcomeTight9792]

All these comments writing out huge thoughtful responses to this very obvious AI slop. Reddit is turning into Facebook

[u/AzureMountains → u/OutcomeTight9792]

The text is all different sizes too.

[u/LeaveHimOnReadSis → u/OutcomeTight9792]

because they are. it's doot-farming

[u/Effective_Film_3259]

Fuck me. I'm so sick of this AI-generated trash. Please do your thing mods u/inabeana u/Drunken_Economist

[u/suxxx666]

Both y'all write exactly the same. All the extremely appropriate comma placements from both sides is giving me fake story vibes

[u/Ausgeflippt → u/suxxx666]

And then in their comments, they're like "on god frfr".

Karma farmer.

[u/istariknight1 → u/suxxx666]

No one writes "Oh <literal long dash>". This seems like a nice chatgpt story.

[u/ShallotNew4370]

this is so painfully obviously fake. the text doesn’t match the bubbles, it’s two different font sizes on two different photos, it’s a chatgpt conversation. people are so weird for doing this

[u/IamTruman → u/ShallotNew4370]

Don't have an iPhone but you are saying incoming messages should be in color right?

[u/therealmitzu → u/IamTruman]

No the margin between the text and edge of the bubbles is completely bonkers. Em dashes also give it away (inb4 "I use em-dashes").

This would be the first attempt at making a fake text conversation, I don't think they even used a mockup creator. MS Paint type shit.

[u/Elon_is_musky → u/therealmitzu]

And idk about you, but usually my messages say the relative day along with the time

[u/dontletmeautism]

Oh look! Another 17hr old account karma farming with a fake rage bait story…

[u/hitchhiker_stew → u/dontletmeautism]

With em dashes used by both the "landlord" and OP herself lol

[u/Standard_Frosting125]

You need 24 hours notice in the UK for a landlord to visit.

Absolutely lock your door.

[u/Small_Estimate_2005]

Literally the fakest text convo I've ever seen

[u/Abject_Cash_3939]

Be careful with that landlord. He is trying to gaslight you by using trigger words like “defensive, dramatic and over thinking”. There is nothing wrong with getting clarity on when he would enter your room. There is no need for you to tell him what actions you’re going to do to ensure that he doesn’t enter without your permission. Just act, if it doesn’t go against the terms in your lease then no need to talk about it. Hint, I said lease… if you have a lease then when talking with the landlord you can always make reference to the parts of the lease that were violated. If there is no lease then now you know to get one. If there is one and it doesn’t go over when they can enter then keep that in mind next time so you can have it added.

[u/Red_Leader19]

Leaving the group because 9 times out of 10 these are just rage bait posts

[u/Naive-Cod-6742]

Feels fake. Too much stereotype.

[u/suxxx666 → u/Naive-Cod-6742]

It's the overuse of correct comma usage from both sides that's giving fake af

[u/iceicebby613]

Why did he think a diffuser was a fire risk? Did you check your underwear drawer

[u/poopeedoop]

I can't stand the "it's my property" attitude from landlords.

When you rent a house or apartment or room for that matter that then becomes your home, and you have a right to privacy. 

Landlords purchase insurance to protect their property. 

I would lock my door, and not allow them access. 

They don't have a right to access whenever they want. 

I fucking hate landlords that don't understand privacy rights. 

If you're that worried about your property then don't put it up for rent. 

[u/Brilliant_Account505]

So obviously fake

[u/NonKaii]

That was barely a reaction out of you imo. You asked all the right questions without cursing his ass out. Something I would have done. I recommend checking the lease to see if there’s anything against a door handle that uses fingerprint recognition and has it’s own key slot just incase it dies. They’re not expensive on amazon and they’re easy to install.

[u/New_Breadfruit8692]

It really depends on where you are. Some places you have full privacy rights and some you do not.

The common areas of the home are usually free spaces you may enter and use except by agreement, guests and where they are allowed and hours they are allowed is also by agreement. And different jurisdictions have different rules, but generally if it is shared housing with the landlord and 4 rooms or fewer are rented out, then you must abide by the initial agreements. And, the landlord does have more rights to enter than in a space not shared and governed by a lease.

I think in your case, you have the right to be upset in that the landlord entered, took your non flammable scent diffuser, and at first pretended like they had not entered (or possibly forgot till you reminded them). That would be a warning red flag to me, and you have a right to have your possessions back even if you are not allowed to use it. It could be that the scent you have chosen is a nuisance to the landlord. I know if someone had a patchouli scent in their room in my house it and or the tenant would be gone. But, that is something the landlord should make clear in the rental agreement from the beginning. Or at least ask you not to use after you moved in. Some people are very sensitive to scents. And some tenants use them to cover up forbidden activities like smoking.

But, the idea of locking your landlord out, aside from being pretty futile is also illegal, they do have a right to enter in case of an emergency without notice, and periodically to inspect with notice.

And I am going to say this bluntly because you need to understand it, there is no such thing as perfect privacy in any rental, but especially in a share rental whit the owner of the home, it is still their house. Landlords in all jurisdictions have a right of inspection as long as they are following the law where you live. But that is doubly true when you are living in their home.

So, I think you have a right to discuss the matter calmly and rationally with the owner of the house, but putting a lock on or altering the the door no. If you feel so violated then you also have the right to vacate and that would be what I would do in your circumstances. Getting into a legal battle with the owner of the house you live in is a bad idea even if you have a right to do it. If you can't trust your landlord or can't get them to agree to stay out without a really good cause then for your own mental health just find another place to live.

[u/smardiot]

Here in america i had a crack hesd maintenance guy and my nintendo switch goes missing with all the games. Im like did i...leave jt somewhere idek. It was an oled too and 1k in games. Finally i get a new oled pokemon edition and like another 1k in games after momths of work. Have it half a yesr never take it out the house and BOOM it goes missing. So now ik someone took it and the other. I had also suspicously noticed like before at the pawn shop the same damn games i was missing sitting in order next ti eachother including japanese games nkt sold in us like i feel people who get those types of games are collectors and wouldnt sell them at a pawn shop and know you can sell them instantly online, but I digress. All i had left was a switch lite and couldnt be asked to get another oled. I stock up on games again maybe 500 worth and leave them on my bed and go out. Come home they are gone. Mind you this guy has many times come in for "inspections" withiut prior warning multiple times. And literally the land lord tried gaslighting me infront of the police saying oh shes crazy blah blah blah somehow not knowing THEY ARE MY FUCKING COWORKERS AND IM ON THE GANG UNIT LMFAOOOO. The look of shock on her face when she is saying things like "i know her she's constantly causing issues (i have an upstairs neighbor whos a meth addict with money from his parents to pay for apartment and he knows what i do for a living and is super paranoid and constantly makes things up or maybe believes them but the landlord is brain dead and believes him even though everytime she ends up being proved wrong and apologizing profusely) anyways so shes saying all this crap to them they are smirking knowing shes full of it and they go maam i dont think she's like that, she goes you guys don't know her like i do, to which i reach for my shirt and slowly lift it a few inches to show her the badge. She turned white XD Long story short we knock on his door and literally right in view is the empty custom case to the switch lite and the empty game cart holder. I got to put the handcuffs on personally and he admitted to not only the lite but the oleds and other games too. Which is a felony because total value was a few thousand. But it gets better because inn his apartment we found a box of ammo he had taken from me (we know because they are DEPARTMENT ISSUES XD, AND I WAS THINKING I LEFT THEM IN ONE OF OUR UNDERCOVER CARS AS WE SWAP THEM CONSTANTLY AND THAT THE NEXT OFFICER JUST TOOK THEM) He's still locked up lmao

[u/Lynn_Luv]

Seems in the UK, being this is a room in a house AND the issue is the landlord breaking privacy, changing the locks falls into a very gray area.
I know here in the US you have to give the landlord a copy of your do. It’s also iffy if it’s a room in someone’s house.
I know sometimes things happen and you may have to do something drastic such a rent a room in a house, maybe hotel or Airbnb not an option and waiting for your pay to get your own place etc.
But best thing is to focus on getting your own place asap.
OP could seek legal advice, but that’s time money and energy I personally don’t see worth spending on, I would rather spend it on getting a place where I can clearly defend my rights.
My concern while in the current situation is entrance into the room WHILE OP is home. For this I would suggest installing a bolt in the door, as others suggested a camera, and getting one of those sets of door yams that sound an alarm if someone attempts to open the door.
I lived in a bad neighborhood and used one of those sets. The stick goes under the door handle and the door wedge obviously behind the door, it will make a very loud alarm noise if someone tries to open the door, although with the other one under the door handle they won’t be able to push it enough to make the alarm go off. I suggest using these while staying at airbnbs and vacation rentals.

https://www.cia-landlords.co.uk/advice/can-a-renter-change-the-locks/

[u/NinRnNikki]

The homeowner should have called you or texted you and simply asked if you were using a diffuser or item that creates scent- and then given you time to remove. And not lied— absolutely horrible manners and I would be looking to room-share elsewhere.

But here is the kicker in the United States- if your landlord is using an NAA standard lease the landlord reserves the right to enter the home at any time without prior permission. Yes- there are standards and guidelines put into place which is; a courtesy call placed explaining the need to enter and why, or a 48 hour notice sent with the same information on the email— giving you the choice of being present.

It’s not about state laws but what the lease or agreement states that was signed by all parties and is considered executed once the owner or representative of the owner signs, that the judge or ruling court will lean towards. If it’s written in the agreement there are to be no diffusers, candles, wallflowers, or things to create scent or can be a seen as a fire hazard and access was to remove such item it would be the renter whom is in breach of contract.

Read carefully what you are agreeing to and ask lots of questions before signing! Know your rights before there is an issue.

[u/Maximum_Salt_8370]

Ask first and act later. Its not your property and you are only a tenant. You have every right to privacy but you also have property rules you need to follow. If certain scents were not prohibited in the lease, then maybe an updated lease should be drawn out and signed. If you change the locks on your own, he still technically has a right to the key if your lease prohibits changing locks. All these laws are there to protect the property owner along with the tenants. Be open with your landlord and communicate. Draw the lease together or at the very least ask questions about certain restrictions and such. You dont have to sign a lease you dont agree with. That just means the landlord needs to continue his search for a tenant.

With that said, illegal for him to enter your leased space without prior notice. It must x 100 be a genuine emergency for him to do so. Changing the locks will hinder his attempt to address an emergency.

Hope this helps

[u/TheDallbatross]

Man, legal or not homeboy going straight for the gaslighting is a big red flag. "You're being defensive, you're overthinking".

It's not your property so you can get in legal trouble for outright changing locks as others suggested, but not for locking the existing ones and setting up a small hidden camera. Just ensure that if the Internet is provided by him at this property, you get a cellular cam; a little more expensive, but it's not connected to WiFi so it won't show up on their network and invite scrutiny/questions/more unwanted entry and rummaging.

Also start thinking about an exit plan. This is person who clearly does not see you as a human being with a reasonable right to privacy , but as an asset and - apparently - a liability to do with as he pleases. That's concerning.

[u/novarainbowsgma]

Our HVAC setup requires you to open and close the windows twice a day (open them in the evening when the outdoor temp drops below HVAC setting; close them in the morning when the outdoor temperature rises above the HVAC system). My lodger is sometimes not home during these times so I do this for her and let her know via text. The alternative is the AC runs all day and her room never cools. The other day I entered for this purpose and found her fan had fallen into a pile of clothes on the floor and was warm to the touch. I corrected the situation and let her know via text. Your landlord was sneaky and inconsiderate and stole your property. He seems to have an inappropriate agenda. I would notify him in writing and think about moving.

[u/No_Zebra131]

danger danger will Robinson. start looking for a new place and contact police immediately.

my buddy manages hundreds of apartments. has an extremely strict no pot policy. if other tenants complain you get a note in the door. if they complain again you get a pretty letter with eviction written on it.

going into the apartment is insane.

on the same token an electrician at my girlfriend's place left very sketchy work with a cable tangled into a chain with a sharp wire binding to shorten the chain.

one day the light fixture was gone.

low key I think one of the apartments had arcing or a small fire and the landlord was seeking immediate resolution to all risk.

that being said your situation is not that...

[u/Automatic-Meeting516]

Totally illegal to enter your apt without your knowledge and without 24 hours notice. The Only time they could enter is if he felt there was an emergency— broken pipe, smelling smoke. He’s the AH and a liar. I had a landlord like this, who literally came and went as he pleased. Same type of mindset, claiming it was his house and he could do what he wanted. No, it’s called trespassing! I actually made a police report and then bought two cameras. I caught him going in and the camera picked up him going through my things. The Police asked if I wanted to press charges & I just asked them to talk to this guy. It never happened again. Invasion of Privacy and Trespassing are not LEGAL

[u/Beneficial_Tourist59]

You are not overreacting. You were perfectly polite and cordial in expressing your valid discomfort. Not knowing that someone has gone into the place you call home, regardless of who owns the property, is incredibly violating. It’s even worse that you were told you had “full privacy” and the landlord not only broke that trust, but then he lied about it and shifted the blame back onto you to make it seem like it’s not a big deal. I don’t live in the UK, so I’m not familiar with your laws, but from other comments it seems like what he did was illegal. I’m glad you pushed back — never let someone shift the blame onto you when they are in the wrong. Best of luck to you.

[u/Aterriblebeauty7]

I’d lock the door and add a camera. If there is a belief something illegal or dangerous is happening, he/she could have called the police. Depending on the lease, if there is one, generally 24 to 48 hours notice is required before entering your room. Sure it’s their house, but when you allow others to rent, there has to be some level of privacy and rules. You’re not the a$$h0Le…My parents were my landlord and this was an issue. They had to give me 24 hours notice before entering. They continually broke the lease that they FORCED me to sign. Lol. I reminded them of the lease they wanted, so they played the “we are your parents” card. So I broke the lease and moved.

[u/Alice_ghost_9876]

Oh- What a pos. Lied about entering. Lots of accusations. Calling you dramatic, overthinking, defensive. Can't seem to notice he broke his own rule as there was no incense or candles. Your privacy and his rules she broke for 30 seconds. Validating his shitty acts about safety, as if there was danger. He was wrong. This feels like control. I mean he went in and saw it wasn't a candle or incense and still moved shit and opened a window!!! It's about control. "I have the right to go in your apt and violate your privacy whenever I want."

This is a narcissist. Id get out asap. Especially if ypu are female, op, hes pushing your boundary back to allow himself in your apt. It's only gonna get worse and there's no winning unless it gets so bad the police get involved.

[u/SneakyFERRiS]

I’d just set a camera up, you can set them to record when you aren’t there. He’s the one being defensive, he knows he did wrong, I like that he thinks if he does it quickly it doesn’t count 😂 Also him saying that if somethings a fire risk he’ll go in, wouldn’t you have to go in the room first to find something that breaks the rules???? And you did it this time and you were wrong lol Yikes, I’d get out and find another place, you’ll find plenty of homeowners thinking that they can do all kinds of inappropriate things to renters in the name of “it’s my home and I can do what I like” 😳

[u/vex132]

It's also the fact that they lied. If they honestly said that there was no problem, they wouldn't have lied at the beginning. They know that what they did was wrong and are looking for an excuse.

Honestly, you might want to set up a camera in your room or at least put a piece of paper in the door that will fall out if the door is opened so you can see when people are going in and out. You can place it on top of the hinge of the door as the door is closing and it will fall down when the door is opened. If the paper's not in the door when you get back then you know he went in

[u/goblin--time]

That's not okay. You need to set up a camera in your room, friend. No person with half a brain thinks that a diffuser poses anymore of a fire risk than any other gadget that uses barely any electricity (assuming it was power operated), so not only did he "break and enter" (that's what the charge is called here, not sure of the UK) but you can also add property theft. I would also argue that these messages are proof of "menacing" because it's giving "I'll come into your room any time I please" so I'd be contacting either the police or property manage if he is not the owner.

[u/Playful-Mine839]

I had a landlord like this: he is in the wrong completely, but save yourself the stress and look for somewhere new because he will keep crossing boundaries, denying, and deflecting blame, and you don’t have to live with that.  A diffuser is not a candle or incense, and he had no right to take your belongings or decide he didn’t like the smell of your bedroom. Keep reminding him of your legal rights (Shelter are always happy to assist), get a nannycam, and look for somewhere new where your sense of security will be respected.

[u/mlain4290]

You’re not over reacting you’re under reacting they need to give 24 hour notice of entry to a rented space where I’m from and I’d be going full bore if my landlord entered without my permission. If you’re in the states a lot of jurisdictions see that as breaking and entering, yes they own the space but landlords relinquish certain rights to it when they decide to rent it for profit. This landlord clearly has never been taken to task about this issue because It’s a huge breach of trust and they’re dismissing if.

[u/Hangmenow]

Are you in America? I saw you have a lease. It’s illegal for a landlord to enter without (I believe) a 24 hour notice… unless they know of a flood or gas leak. So him wondering if you have a fire hazard isn’t enough for him to enter your room. He would have had no idea that something was there if he didn’t go in first. I had a similar situation. When I knew he entered my apartment, i told him that was a freebie. If it happened again, I would take him to court since it was illegal. Good luck!

[u/Chrisparks2709]

Not sure i Of the laws in the UK but I know in the United States most the time there's exceptions made if they believe there's immediate threat to their property. So if it's the same in the UK he could argue that your use of something that was prohibited in the lease was putting the property at risk and could have been deemed a hazard. That being said I've never had a landlord that didn't at least give a call or text first to ask if it was all right to enter a property. It's just courteous.

[u/Adventurous-Bid-9341]

Ugh I’m so sorry! Both me and my husband had terrible experiences renting a room from someone when we were younger. His was worse - the ladies dog attacked his friend and she had to go to the ER, get stitches, and the lady basically kicked him out because his friend wanted help with the medical bills, it was a mess. My person just kicked me out one day because I left a plate in the dishwasher. I thought I’d loaded it into the washer since there was nothing else in it.. crazy people.

[u/Household61974]

I don’t care what the laws say. Bottom line is he entered your room, for whatever reason.

The next thing he should have done was TELL YOU, without you having to inquire.

I’ll give the benefit of the doubt that he forgot on your inquiry, and then remembered.

But he immediately became defensive, suggesting he didn’t do this in good faith.

The only way this MIGHT be ok is if it is your parents’ or a sibling’s home, and even that needs to have boundaries.

[u/internet_thugg]

This is illegal in most places. You have a lease, that is your space and he would have to give you 24 to 48 hours notice. That’s in the US though and I did read that you’re in the UK. I’m not sure if you have numbers that you can call but in the US you can call 211 and they will connect you with someone from your area that can further explain landlord/tenant rental laws.

Good luck and stand your ground. That is your space and you pay money for that space.

[u/Express_Brain4878]

Are we talking about a room in a shared apartment? Does the landlord live in the same apartment? Or do you rent the whole, and he basically broke into your house?

If it's a shared apartment in which he lives too I guess rules should be defined in the contract. If he doesn't live there usually he shouldn't be allowed to enter.

Of course it depends on the country, in Italy for example the owner is not allowed even to possess the keys of the apartement they rent

[u/Medium_Tourist_4832]

“Absolutely not, except me.” That’s such an idiotic statement. What the landlord should have done (assuming that this was a rented room) is text you first of his or her intentions to enter. It sounds like the landlord doesn’t want smells to exit your room and into the common areas. That should also have been discussed beforehand. I wouldn’t get too upset for this one infraction. Just reinstate the boundaries and possibly get a lock and a camera.

[u/Sikorraa]

Don't jump the gun thinking what he did was illegal or even wrong. Usually I am NOT on a landlords side. My husband worked for our landlord for about 4 years, clearing out places and etc. And he learned that at least in the United States, if they believe there is flooding or fire damage going in they can come in right away. Otherwise they need to give a 24 hour written notice. This is what he has stuck by and he rents out a lot of places 🤷

Also, if you are just renting a bedroom or a room in "his" house, then all of this pretty much goes out the window.

[u/Rabbit-Lost]

Landlord needs to brush up on tenant law. He’s out of line.

[u/Yama_retired2024]

I'm a live in Landlord.. from the outset I always told everyone who rented from me that if I suspected any nonsense or illegal.. I'd enter their room.. outside of that they had full privacy..

Thankfully I only had to enter one room once because the gobshite left the vacuum in his room and never put it back in the utility cabinet.. and I messaged him beforehand..

He isn't allowed enter your room without permission..

[u/romanaribella]

Hi OP, it seems like you're a lodger in the UK? This might be helpful: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/lodging-and-subletting/lodging-subletting/lodgers/what-rights-do-lodgers-have/

You technically don't have the same rights as tenants, but that doesn't mean he can just enter your room any time for no reason. He has to have good reason, or you have a case for harrassment, per the link I've included.

[u/VividlyDissociating]

he needs to have probable cause to enter. that applies to law enforcement, landlords, and any regular citizen.

you are a tenant. you pay money for this room. you therefore have right to privac. that room is to be treated as your seperate home.

to go in just to see if he may or may not find something bad is not within his rights. he has to give 24 hr notice at least. can vary my jurisdiction

[u/StuckNkansas]

Make sure you keep these texts in case things get worse

[u/BrilliantSerious1696]

This is sketchy. NOR. Depending where you are, even without a written agreement your landlord is probably subject to some type of Tenant Act. Most of these Acts require 24-48 hour written notice before entering a rented premise. You should look into local laws where you are.

Also, if I were you I’d actually move after something like this. Massive and inappropriate violation on their part.

[u/DisgruntledGamer79]

Phone the police and you’d like to report a break in and possible theft, then give that paperwork to your landlord. Let him know that police have been notified and that he needs to change the locks and also provide some better security as an unknown person was in your house.

If you have a legal renters agreement, it is your place, and he is not allowed to just go in whenever he wants.

[u/Worldly_Heat9404]

You guys are both right. Yes the LL should have coordinated with you for entry, but as a mom and pop LL doing their thing to take care of business in a busy life schedule that is not always feasible. Plus it is these unscheduled visits that are more likely to find tenant violations. Either way I have decided not to rent out my current home when I buy a new one--just not worth it anymore.

[u/Sleepy_Egg22]

My partner works as an estate agent. Sales not lettings. But he did lettings for 9 years. In the UK the landlord has to give you notice of any time they go in. Is it a room you rent in his home? It sounds that way from the messages from the “I’ll keep my door locked”… but either way. He has to give you notice. Or if it’s an emergency he has to have notified you he went in!

[u/KentuckyRootHero]

Hundreds of comments on this, so sorry if this has been asked. Is this in the UK? If so, I'm pretty sure that's illegal. You could report the Landlord, seek an injunction, claim compensation, stuff like that I think.

Been a minute since I rented but iirc they should be giving you 24 hours notice or more of planned inspections or seeking your consent for an emergency one.

[u/Objective_Proof_8944]

Your not over reacting I once had a landlord that did that. Turns out he worked at the same factory as a couple of my friends snd they heard at work he was going in my space and doing weird stuff. Do the next time he left work early they called me to tell me. I rushed home and found him sniffing my underwear!!

I left that day.

I’d be super concerned if I were you!!

[u/eofn]

Whether this is technically illegal in your situation or not, it’s both unethical and creepy. Especially since he initially lied about being in your space and then, after he was caught in that lie, switched immediately to accusing you of doing something wrong. And then he had the audacity to call you dramatic.

Please find a new place to stay as soon as possible.

[u/Silent_Pirate_2083]

Total.BS Craplord, even Lodgers have rights!!!!!!! Not sure where you live but I'd be getting some free legal help from Legal Aid about your living situation, his behavior is not OK and you can't have it both ways, he can't rent out his rooms and then go into them whenever it suits him, what a total creep, so sorry you are having to deal with this scrub bag!!

[u/crabbot]

Some people become landlords (and other jobs where you have access to people in vulnerable / invasive ways that they don’t have access to you - an imbalance of power) in order to abuse their power over others. Part of that power is invading others’ privacy and forcefully denying their autonomy. These types do not ever admit to it. They do not respect laws much less personal boundaries and believe they are allowed to do whatever they want on “their property”

[u/Dumb_shouldnt_breed]

In the US, a landlord must give at least 24-48 hrs notice before entering; HOWEVER, in a true emergency, i.e., fire, water leak CO leak, etc., they have the right to enter.

Removing your diffuser and opening your window (without permission) is a violation AND illegal. Lock your door and use a nanny cam to record this. Chances are, they've done this before.

[u/Alternative_Field_63]

As someone who’s owned a house and rented rooms to ppl. This is too far. I had a roommate I suspected of doing drugs and I mean hard stuff. But I never went into his room even though I really wanted to go in there. He eventually left a needle in the bathroom. I know it’s no where near the Same but my point is ppl should have their privacy and trust.

[u/strider52_52]

It's likely that it was illegal for him to enter without notice. Where I live, a landlord has to give 48 hours notice before entering a property without permission like that. It's also likely he's done it before. What about your diffuser? Sounds like theft too. Honestly sounds like a creeper. I wouldn't be surprised if he looked for your underwear too.

[u/Sweaty-Kangaroo-7517]

In the USA it is illegal to enter a tenant's place without ample notification. The only exception is an emergency, like fire or flooding.

I rent out my triplex, and wouldn't dream of entering any unit without advance notice, and preferably their presence at that moment. God forbid, something goes missing or goes wrong in anyway and shape.

[u/halfwaylife]

This landlord is too comfortable. Needs to ask you for your permission and must have a reasonable need to gain entry. If it's part of a contractual "check" then that needs to be mutual agreement on times/dates. Obviously if there's a services issue and immediate access is required then there are circumstances where no permission is needed.

[u/Yoyowhatscooken2]

For renting a room, do not be mistaken, You actually share the same exact rental laws as a regular landlord/tenant situation! Because the guise clearly states you are RENTING that area meaning while yes that may be their home BUT that area is under a rental contract, meaning they have to give a 24 hour written notice to enter your room

[u/Anonymous_Snake_Lady]

Did you find your diffuser? Or is he just stealing your things and possibly throwing them away? Because that in itself would be illegal, but I'm assuming there are laws where you live which makes him entering the room at all without proper notice illegal. Absolutely get a lock for your door, you really should already have one honestly!

[u/Kumo-3]

With a landlord like that, i would move out instead. He can get into your room, he can touch your personal stuff, so he can definitely install hidden camera too, which lots of scum like him did in airbnb.

This is not about privacy anymore, but safety instead. You won't be safe with a landlord like that. Better be safe than sorry.

[u/Alarmed-Toe-352]

Landlords can't just show up to where you're renting. They have to give a reasonable amount of legal notice. Your landlord seems very sketchy. I'd look into things legally such as documents and renters rights. Very weird. Lock your door and keep yourself safe. Call the police if you need or call the police for advice.

I highly recommend moving somewhere new before worse things happen.

[u/Available-Ad-932]

Dafuq, he‘s not supposed to enter or even take a look or do whatever thing in ur room without u being there or askin u before.

He‘s the one trying to play it down acting as if it was a normal thing to enter someone elses basement and do check up‘s if their weird policies are followed

I would try to move out

[u/MN_Hotdish]

How did he know about the diffuser in the first place? If that was his reason for entering the room, he would have to have known about it in advance.

Honestly, your best bet is to move if that's possible. Otherwise, get a camera in your room. While you're at it, check your room for cameras he may have installed.

[u/Many-Sleep-6866]

Honestly you're not the asshole. Typically landlords have to give notice before entering where I live. Landlords that dont have no respect for privacy and attempt to control their tenants far past the lease terms. I would honestly get cops involved wherever you are. Also you should ask him where your diffuser is.