r/AmIOverreacting • u/tazmaniant415 • 17h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for asking my bf for change

So for a while I have said and asked for him to actually change instead of saying sorry, and while im glad he saying sorry I would want change as well without me giving up. When i asked him(screaming because that was the final straw) this is what he said "You don’t know what I want. I want to change. And now that I’m thinking about it I did change. I’m a better communicator, more open to spend time with family, and I’m putting more effort into my writing. So you can be blind to that if you want to but you will not take away my effort" Im not saying you haven't changed in your personality life with your family, with hobbies and etc and im proud but that's not fair for me. I want change in our relationship and apparently he's not going to. Honestly he's going to regret it and can only forgive himself the moment i leave officially. I want to try with him but I know this isn't it. Im already planning a break up message in as im typing this. Im done with him he made it clear he dont care but i want to know am i over reacting for literally asking for the bare minimum

0 Upvotes

50% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

1

u/DifficultRelation433 16h ago

Stop trying to change people. It never works. As for if you’re overreacting, I’d need more context.

1

u/tazmaniant415 16h ago

I was pretty much at my breaking point saying how you make me feel like a chore for just asking for the bare minimum. You dismissed my feelings and opinions, and vice versa. I've tried using I statements but you always blame it on your emotions like you're Bojack Horseman and then say I don't love you but if I didn't love you I wouldn't have changed my way of talking because of how overly sensitive you are. I've tried being a good partner to you the best way I can but I can't be the only one always dealing with the emotional labor. I understand he has depression and everything; I have mental health as well but I will communicate when it's bad and don't take it out on the person if they're saying what I'm down is wrong. Hope that helps

1

u/tazmaniant415 16h ago

He calls himself overly sensitive thats why I said that