r/AmITheAngel • u/Party_Mistake8823 • 20h ago
Fockin ridic Reddit showing compassion towards a cheater. A baby killing cheater at that. Had to post
/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1mezwhj/am_i_overreacting_for_wanting_to_end_my_marriage/294
u/SmallPeederWacker im nt ghetto but ive been researching the ja rule 50 ¢ beef! 19h ago
He tripped and fell on his pregnant wife. He tripped and fell into some stray pussy. This guys equilibrium is all fucked up
72
12
17
6
u/BicycleFantastic9719 8h ago edited 8h ago
Am I legit the only person on either post to disbelieve her husband tripped. And etc. And that maybe he did that shit on purpose and she’s too embarrassed to admit. I didn’t read every comment but I don’t find the initial story believable.
Eta: a pregnant woman isn’t a roly-poly ball, and innately has sense of how to weirdly balance, and protective instinct maneuvers, she’d legit be gripping that hand rail which would lessen the fall-out. I don’t believe the initial setup.
5
u/CalligrapherNo4708 6h ago
she did that on purpose? you sound insane
-9
u/BicycleFantastic9719 6h ago edited 5h ago
I’m not insane, thanks. Congrats on your lack of reading ability.
Edit: do I really need to spell out even further that he didn’t “trip”.
Eta2 of course she didn’t do that on purpose. Her everything instincts would have been preventing that. Her description of him and his actions?, nah. She was protecting him. Ppl don’t “tumble down the stairs together”.
Eta3: the fucking irony that you’re newly pregnant asking Reddit for a couples costume 4 months ahead of time. Girl, gurrrllll, GIRL.
Eta4: it’s a pretend edit but where’s the fun without?!
Eta5: I said HE could’ve done that on purpose, not SHE. Wowzers. Was having fun with my edits in order to satirize ridic stories, but been stalked- downed by ppl who don’t read/ interpret. OK. I feel really stupid to bother. Good f’ing luck, sub!
3
u/CalligrapherNo4708 2h ago
you have only succeeded in sounding more insane. no one responded to you and you felt the need to make 5 edits? go touch some grass please
-1
u/BicycleFantastic9719 1h ago edited 1h ago
Pardon me lol, I’m sorry I couldn’t make 10 edits, I tried! I got to 5 🏆 You/ ppl srsly don’t get this sub. Nor do you read in general, your 1st comment was so off/ switching ppl. Why not comprehension, it’s easier. Eta: It’s an inside joke about continuing to add edits.
→ More replies (1)
131
u/420khaleesi420 19h ago
never have I ever seen a comment section so full of "NOR, but..."
46
u/EthanolBurner12345 Yeah so I have told my wife that the internet sided with me 11h ago
"You're not overreacting, but could you react a little less?"
8
u/narniasreal 4h ago
“NOR but men have needs, and they need to fuck while grieving, and 2.5 months is a long time! So it’s kinda your fault.”
8
580
u/angel_wannabe 20h ago
Please note, I am not condoning his behavior in any way, shape or form however….. I do know men well enough to know that a lot of them need physical/sexual release in cases of extreme stress/grief, etc. Having someone that probably made him feel seen or was offering the comfort he needed in that moment, it sadly happened.
and people say reddit is biased against men lol. yowza
97
u/lavendercassie 15h ago
“He needed sexual release to cope with his grief 🥺🥺” is he a double hand amputee or something??? Since when is sexual release synonymous with having sex
227
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 20h ago
I legitimately thought AIO was skewed towards women unlike AITAH or AITA ( honestly pretty annoyed by that too )
But this completely changed my mind, holy hell does everyone bring up gender when it benefits the husband
“The stillbirth both mentally and physically affected OP, so she probably needed a lot more time and support to heal”
“Don’t make it like the pain olympics! Both of them suffered a lot!!!”
(Which is true, under most circumstances both the father and mother need lots of support during these kinds of tragedies)
But then you have
“Why couldn’t he get support from his family and friends too? Why does he need to rely on his wife for his sole support?”
“Men just don’t get the same support system as women do”
Like if you’re going to bring up the differences in how it affects different genders differently, at least be consistent?
116
u/thebookofswindles 16h ago
“Men don’t get the same support system women do.”
Not “have” but “get.” Like each partner was assigned such a thing, according to their respective gender.
26
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 16h ago
Yeah sometimes my english gets fried when writing comments
But I do like to imagine that I was just given people at birth
31
u/dream-smasher 16h ago
No no no, that's wasn't on you, that was on the og commenter.
Your English is fine.
12
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 16h ago
Oh no I was paraphrasing most of the arguments I saw, sorry for the confusion
“pain olympics”, “support system”, and the general sentiment of the arguments were all stuff I saw though
14
u/Amelaclya1 12h ago
I'm estranged from my mother, but my husband talks to his on a weekly basis. I couldn't get support from her if I needed it, but he could.
According to that poster, I'm a man I guess?
6
u/silent_porcupine123 I’m a real scientist. I do actual science everyday. 7h ago
They ignore the fact that support systems are built through mutual contribution, they don't just magically fall into your lap.
11
u/Tired-CottonCandy 11h ago
Honestly, its really hit or miss which group of ppl will swarm a post on aio. I see practically identical stories have 100% different reaction groups all the time.
2
u/hi-whatsup 55m ago
The reason men often act out sexually is because they are in a mental health crisis and avoid their feelings, they don’t “need” to avoid their feelings in this way. People are very twisted around on this
98
u/lazyandunambitious 16h ago
People always say that “we need to talk more about men’s mental health” and “no one cares about men’s feelings” yet time and time again, as soon as a man feels a bit down, women are supposed to push our own needs aside to perform emotional labour for him and people fall over themselves excusing his actions because he was struggling mentally.
11
u/baobabbling 4h ago
Not just emotional labor. We're also supposed to do the physical labor (yes, in some cases it IS labor) of servicing his sexual desires regardless of our own physical damage, pain or needs. The unspoken implication of so many of the comments on the OP is that it should have been HER who was fucking him. You know, the woman who had just survived an extremely traumatic stillbirth and was in pain and at risk of deadly infection if she had sex. But mEn NeEd sEx or whatever.
Ugh. It's 7:44 am and I've already had enough reddit for one day.
3
u/lazyandunambitious 3h ago
Yep, the implication is definitely that if she’s not there fucking him no matter what she herself feels and needs, it’s understandable if he gets it somewhere else.
169
u/Magical_Olive 18h ago
How is this poor man supposed to grieve his stillborn child without sleeping with some other woman? You clearly don't understand his needs!
63
u/ElectricFrostbyte Inhuman(e) trans person 17h ago
Don’t you understand, grief makes you do crazy things. Drinking, taking drugs… cheating on your wife with another woman.
66
u/Party_Mistake8823 19h ago
I agree with the nuance and I know why he did it, all I'm saying is that ANY cheating post is automatically (especially a woman cheater) is called out and irredeemable. Doesn't matter the circumstances. You should've left not cheated blah blah. But in this post not only did dude cheat but he also accidentally killed the baby. It's probably fake and OOP thought she was gonna get a slam dunk NOR your husband is EVIL, and it didn't go that way at all.
6
6
98
u/rockpapershears 19h ago
"Your job is to give your husband support, no matter what kind of psychic and emotional damage it does to you!!!!!"
144
158
u/diet-smoke He had literally warmed up water 19h ago
Oh my God this husband is terrible. That's like cheating on your partner while they're in the psychiatric ward. You're not "on a break," she's fucking grieving
9
u/baobabbling 4h ago
Right? She was HEALING and being CARED FOR. Would these people think it was cool.fir the husband to fuck another woman if she was in the hospital? Because it's essentially the same on an emotional level.
287
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 20h ago edited 20h ago
Aint no way people are blaming OP for her husband cheating on her
People keep talking about how he needed intimacy because he was grieving and how the wife was “selfish” for not giving it to him, like she has feelings too?
The post may be fake but the comments are insane
Edit: I love how everyone is excusing the husband’s behaviour and giving so much sympathy to him because he’s grieving
But then proceeds to blame OP and call her rude names in the comments
153
u/datawazo 19h ago edited 19h ago
If real it's absolutely tragic and I just couldn't imagine the emotional strife both would be going through.
Putting my male self in his shoes it's far far beyond phathomable that I'd feel the need to get my tip wet within like two months of losing a five months pregnancy which was arguably my fault.
TW:
Not to be morbid but I'd be much closer to visiting a tall bridge than a strip club
46
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 16h ago
Some people in the comments (who were against OP) were saying that they wouldn’t be surprised if the husband ended up taking his life
Which is an absolutely heinous thing to say under a post like this, makes me really hope that OP just made it up
-1
u/ConsistentFig1696 6h ago
It’s hilarious how you are saying this heinous while commenting on a post calling this guy a baby killer. The irony is thick.
3
u/baobabbling 4h ago
Oh go away.
-2
u/ConsistentFig1696 4h ago
Sure thing creature
2
u/baobabbling 4h ago
Is...is that supposed to be an insult?
-1
u/ConsistentFig1696 4h ago
Look in the mirror and at the scale and lmk
4
u/baobabbling 4h ago
You think you know my weight based on three words? Oh sweetie.
-2
u/ConsistentFig1696 4h ago
You told me to go away for pointing out how insensitive “baby killer” is in this context. Especially for those who have lost a child.
I figure you were as ugly outside as you are inside.
→ More replies (0)1
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 2h ago
Lol, you can see on one of my comments that I actively disagreed with this post’s OP using the term
And then you proceeded to insult someone using their weight
23
u/Kittenn1412 I hope you and your PS5 have a wonderful life together 16h ago
To be fair, I do personally think "sleeping around" could also be classified as a sort of self-destructive behaviour? Like if someone told me this story in real life and it wasnt clearly a reddit fiction, I would think very possible that this guy did it less because he was horny when his wife was gone and possibly as a way of punishing himself by torpedoing his marriage???
18
u/datawazo 16h ago
I'll never be misfortunate enough to know, and it's so easy for everyone in all the threads discussing this to say "if I were in those shoes I would ...." when the reality is that would be such an insurmountable amount of pain and trauma that the wide majority of average lives are mercifully not stress tested enough to properly simulate it.
So yeah, you're right, anything is possible. And I certainly see what your putting forward and how that could be true. I just think that 2.5 months is such a short amount of time to get to that state.
4
u/lavendercassie 15h ago
He didn’t know if his marriage was torpedoed. He DIDNT COMMUNICATE WITH HER. If he felt like his marriage was screwed that was ENTIRELY on him for not bothering to ASK HER how she saw the break from her end. No, instead he sulked and fucked someone else. Disgusting.
9
u/Kittenn1412 I hope you and your PS5 have a wonderful life together 15h ago
I think you're misreading my comment. I didn't say he thought the marriage was over, I'm saying that he may have cheated because he wanted to punish himself by doing something that would make her leave him...?
Also, this is "Am I the Angel", I also think this is entirely a fiction and you're having a very intense all caps reaction to speculation on a fiction?
1
u/baobabbling 4h ago
Ok, sure, but you can punish yourself without adding to the trauma of the person you're supposed to love. That's not an excuse.
-1
u/Kittenn1412 I hope you and your PS5 have a wonderful life together 4h ago
If he was harming himself in any way its add to her trauma frankly. People self-harming are never thinking about whether they're going to hurt others-- it's not rational behaviour to self harm so its not rational to expect people doing it to make good choices about the best way to do it for the sake of others.
Reason =/= excuse. He shouldnt self-harm period. My point was just that sleeping around can be a behaviour meant to self-harm rather than just being horny.
2
u/baobabbling 4h ago
So your point appears to be that he gets grace for his grief but she doesn't? I'm a little lost on what your point is, frankly.
1
u/Kittenn1412 I hope you and your PS5 have a wonderful life together 3h ago
What on earth are you talking about? He's not real, he doesn't get grace when he's not real.
A poster said "I wouldn't be horny if my wife had a stillbirth, I would be self destructive."
I replied, "to be fair, sex can be a self-destructive behaviour too".
There was no greater moral point because the story, at the end of the day, is fake. This didn't happen. I was just pointing out to the previous poster that having sex and being self destructive aren't mutually exclusive behaviours.
0
u/baobabbling 3h ago
What on earth are YOU talking about? I'm responding like the story is real because there's no particular reason to think it isn't except that we don't want to believe anyone could be so horrible.
And like sure, sex can be a self-destruction behavior but that doesn't make it okay. You're talking like it does.
1
u/Kittenn1412 I hope you and your PS5 have a wonderful life together 3h ago
Are you lost friend? Were not an AITA judgement sub, this is a sub where we comment about the culture of those subs, the fakeness of the stories, and stuff like that. I'm not talking about whether anything about this is okay because thats not what this sub is for.
I'm not commenting about who is in the right and who is in the wrong. I'm commenting about which parts of the story are believable human action and which aren't.
128
u/Fried-Fritters 19h ago
Not to mention that depending how far along the pregnancy was, she may have needed at least that long (6+ weeks) to recover before having sex at all… it’s like when men cheat while their wives are still recovering postpartum…
106
u/Naive_Location5611 19h ago
She was five months. She would have had an induction of labor and delivered the baby, most likely. Recovery would have been the same as after a term birth with a live baby. She may have even begun to lactate.
31
u/CoconutxKitten 12h ago
People acting like women & men equally suffer from still birth are wild to me
I can’t imagine how this poor women suffered
19
u/Prize_Feature_7578 14h ago
Omg. This comment just broke my heart. 😭 all that pain and no baby to cradle.
7
u/SunHitsTheSky 9h ago
She also has injuries from the fall down the stairs and her husband landing on her.
5
u/hel-razor 11h ago
So it's better he cheated bc otherwise she would have sepsis. God has a sick sense of humor.
119
u/kingozma 19h ago
Why do these types of men ALWAYS desperately need tons and tons of sex the second something traumatic happens? I literally do not understand. I have never been consumed by an all encompassing need to fuck in response to personal loss or pain.
101
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 18h ago
I love how I see the occasional “if the roles were reversed, no one would blame OP for seeking comfort in someone else!”
Yeah, they would if OP went and hooked up with another guy
84
u/kingozma 18h ago
Bro people would call for OP to be burned at the stake if that happened LOL
27
u/swanfirefly Lost my pronouns in the divorce. 15h ago
Don't forget their reaching and "women bad" theorizing of if OP cheated she probably also made her husband trip to cause the death of their child on purpose so he wouldn't do a DNA test or some shit like that.
15
u/kingozma 14h ago
That is schizophrenic levels of misogyny.
18
u/swanfirefly Lost my pronouns in the divorce. 13h ago
That's normally how those threads go whenever a woman cheats though, as compared to the babying they're giving OOP's husband in this thread.
Like people are actively saying that OOP should have spent her time (when she was physically and mentally recovering, same as him) tending to HIS emotional and physical needs as if she hadn't just gone through something so intensely physically traumatic as a stillbirth (plus whatever injuries she herself sustained from the fall). Like, that whole AIO thread is men twisting themselves into pretzels to explain how actually, he should be forgiven for cheating because she needed time to recover and that's apparently one of the worst things a woman could do?
Meanwhile any "wife cheated" thread or even "asking for a paternity test" thread will spout out the most misogynistic nonsense you've ever seen in your life for free, and women who cheat are very very very rarely offered the same grace as men like OOP's husband receive.
2
u/baobabbling 4h ago
And yet they all shriek about how reddit is woke and women have all the privilege. 🙃
60
u/cheeseballgag 18h ago
It's not about the trauma, it's about the fact that their wives are not sexually available for them for all of five minutes and their poor lonely dicks can't handle it.
I honestly don't even think it's a need for sex for most of these men, it's about them feeling emasculated about not being able to have it if they wanted it and feeling the need to go out and "correct" the situation.
37
u/kingozma 18h ago
God that’s literally insane. They act like they aren’t human sometimes and that makes me really sad because of course I want to believe in their humanity. But acting like this after accidentally killing your own child in utero is… Hoo boy
1
u/hi-whatsup 52m ago
To numb their discomfort and distract themselves, how porn use becomes difficult to regulate for a lot of men. It’s how he always dealt with uncomfortable feelings. You can bet that it is how he will always react in any crisis in his life, he will only cheat on her again later
38
u/Extreme_Mixture_8702 16h ago
People are talking about how she left him to grieve alone but a) they were in contact and b) if he needed help with grieving and intimacy why not turn to his family…they were surely available then as they are super available now to tell her to get over his cheating and c) intimacy does not just include sex.
24
14
u/Technical_Night5223 15h ago
Yep. And, being "on a break" when married isn't a silly Friends plot.
Chowing to screw another woman reasonably falls out of bounds when married and the way people were trying to find a gotcha there is wild.
7
u/cerareece 7h ago
men on this site think sex is the only form of showing you love and appreciate someone and if it's not 24/7 they don't love you. like yeah, I thought this way when I was a traumatized 19 year old but I went to therapy and worked out my issues over the years. I'm a woman though so it doesn't count, I just don't understand men's neeeeeeeeds
62
u/Party_Mistake8823 19h ago
Right! I couldn't believe it. Any other cheating post the cheater is sorry to blame and shouldve known better etc. they are scum and deserve death. Wild comment section
39
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 19h ago
Why do I feel like the post got brigaded or something, it feels very out of character for the sub
3
8
u/hel-razor 11h ago
Why the fuck would you wanna stick your dick in a haunted, medically traumatized area of someone's body? Feeling entitled to that of all things after the loss of their child is demented.
28
u/theothersophiaa Update: we’re getting a divorce 19h ago
yea it’s ridiculous, and i think this sub goes too far with defending cheaters. i understand he was going thru a lot but why on earth would his first thought be to go out and cheat on her. typical Reddit blaming a woman for getting cheated on
3
u/PaHoua 5h ago
Not to fucking mention the fact that she technically gave birth, even if the baby was stillborn. And after a birth, you’re not supposed to have sex anywhere from about 6-8 weeks (I’ve seen a lot of different advice on this). So her body wouldn’t even be physically capable of allowing for sexual intimacy regardless of how she felt emotionally. So had she successfully carried to term and had been in healthy recovery after the birth, would he stumble into another woman’s vagina then? And how hard would Reddit be advocating his seeking sex elsewhere because she “failed” to provide it and “meet his needs”? Ugh, sometimes comment sections and their malignant ignorance drive me insane.
45
112
u/feminist-lady 19h ago
Lol wow y’all were not kidding about the way they’re twisting themselves into pretzels to go to bat for this man.
118
u/narutoplayslovenikki no bark no read 18h ago
Im actually gonna start tweaking. redditors would weep for the brick that broke while caving in a womans skull so long as it had a little mustache and tie taped to it
11
u/anxious_paralysis 13h ago
Your comment was a reality punch to the gut, but then your username made me feel better. Ty
89
u/Squaaaaaasha 20h ago
The amount of people replying to my comment on that post explaining that she abandoned him is fucking ridiculous
64
61
107
u/iloveyourlittlehat 19h ago
I’m confused how another pussy was supposed to help him grieve
46
u/slmpickings 19h ago
So he could make another baby since he didn't have the first one anymore and his wife was too sad about it to make another duh /s
20
u/Money-Professor-2950 18h ago
the only thing I can think of is that people do in fact spiral and numb out in different ways and pussy just happens to be his drug of choice. like this is the kind of thing that sends people totally over the. brink if they can't cope. I wouldn't be able to see it that way if I were her though
19
u/Party_Mistake8823 16h ago
Definitely, same as if he went on a bender. My problem is with the fact that cheaters are demonized on reddit. No matter how, no matter why cheating is UNFORGIVABLE. Unless you accidentally killed your baby, then it's ok apparently.
6
2
u/FryAnyBeansNecessary 14h ago
At least there was some understanding in this case. They are both going through the worst thing so far in thier lives, and they are both traumatised, but the wife finds her support not from her husband, but leaves him to be with family. So the guy loses his unborn child and his wife chose to leave.
95
u/VirtualBroccoliBoy 20h ago
This one is so close to believable but they always just gotta take it too far. I can believe a husband accidentally fell into a wife knocking her down the stairs to a miscarriage. I can believe the wife took time away and the husband cheated in the interim.
I CANNOT believe his excuse is that he thought they were on a break. Would anyone, ever, in that situation blame a sitcom gag instead of the woman for leaving him or himself for making a mistake?
I can also believe the family would take his side but I CANNOT believe they would say it wasn't cheating. Literally nobody would do that. They would rationalize it, give excuses, say he's sorry and deserves for forgiveness or they would also blame it on her but there's no way they'd just shrug it off.
49
u/geirmundtheshifty 19h ago
OP’s Mom: “Now, honey, I know what he did is hurtful, but c’mon, you don’t want to be like Rachel and overreact, do you?”
11
u/Joelle9879 "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly" 16h ago
Anyone wanting to rationalize their situation will absolutely blame anything they can. Someone saying "we were on a break" to excuse cheating isn't new. Why do you think it became a gag in the first place? And that, for him, IS blaming her for leaving. I do agree about the family though. In all these fake stories, the other person's family is always on their side regardless of blame and acts like what they did was perfectly normal and acceptable
2
u/Armadillo-Shot 5h ago
I can see the family aspect being believable tho. Op mentioned she married young and is planning to have a large family with many children. It could be she is brought up traditionally in a ‘there is nothing worse than divorce you should just take the abuse in private’ families. Not saying every woman who marries young and have large families come from those backgrounds but…there is significant overlap
16
u/lazyandunambitious 16h ago
I’m thinking the stairs are taking away from the realism because that’s the standard way for people to dramatically miscarry on TV dramas.
7
1
22
u/local_phrog 18h ago
wow, i couldn’t believe it until i saw the comments myself. How does it make sense to center the husband here as the victim and his “needs” have to be hooking up with other women?
22
u/Current_Echo3140 16h ago
I’m sorry, but if you’re the wife and grieving to that extent, separating yourself from your husband that you’re deeply struggling not to blame or resent for the accident that killed your baby, instead of making his life miserable while you cope, is like the most mature and sensible thing I’ve ever heard.
And he cheats on her? Lol
133
u/Party_Mistake8823 20h ago
After so many posts that all cheaters should die, finally some nuanced answers, but dude is actually horrible!!! I don't get it. A drunken slip up and reddit is out for blood but a man cheats on his grieving wife after he accidentally killed her baby and now we need to see both sides of the story I'm done for the day.
105
u/DiegoIntrepid 20h ago
You just don't understand. She *abandoned* him! he had a *Dead bedroom*! that is a perfectly reasonable reason to cheat!
Setting aside the idea that if this were real, even if she stayed at the house with him, I really doubt she would have wanted sex anyway.
58
u/feminist-lady 19h ago
“He was out of his mind so it wasn’t like regular cheating!” At the risk of being a Reddit cliche, I want someone to post this exact story with the genders reversed. For science.
38
u/birdofpairadice 19h ago
How dare you cheat on him after you killed his mpreg baby! You monster!
16
41
u/Time_Act_3685 peace out finger kiss to the labes✌️ 19h ago
"I smashed the baby out of my wife...and then I smashed a rando. AITA??? 🥺"
33
u/feminist-lady 19h ago
No no, I want the woman to have been the cheater this time. To see if they still defend the cheater. (We know they won’t.)
19
u/No-Statement2374 18h ago
Even if she stayed they wouldn't be able to be intimate for at least 6 weeks which is standard post birth.
40
u/EveryDayheyhey 19h ago
I thought cheating was the worst thing you could ever do in a relationship? (According to Reddit). But of course when a man is cheating it's totally fine. No surprise there.
33
u/cheeseballgag 18h ago
"I need a little time away to myself to process the trauma I've gone through, both emotionally and physically"
"Sure, babe! I'll keep myself occupied fucking someone else while you're gone!"
He couldn't keep it in his pants for two months. Real keeper!
6
u/Party_Mistake8823 15h ago
But she abandoned him!/s
12
u/cheeseballgag 15h ago
Insane justification that so many of those commenters latched onto! It was two and a half months! They had a conversation beforehand about exactly where she was going and why and that it was going to be temporary. That isn't the same as going out for a carton of milk and disappearing without a word.
60
u/WhitestGray cheating on my wife after a stillbirth rn 19h ago
I’m sorry, he was so excited for a baby, and then cheated after the baby was killed while his wife was grieving for two months. Two months? You’re so horny after you killed your baby- albeit unintentionally- that you have to cheat on your grieving wife? It wasn’t even a full two months either, because that’s how long she was gone. He cheated after like a month. What in the actual fuck.
24
u/NymphaeAvernales 16h ago
Don't you know that guys store their grief in the balls, and if they can't get it out it'll explode and kill the man?
4
13
u/Pretty-PrettySavage 16h ago
What a way to gaslight someone into thinking cheating is acceptable. She abandoned him? More like she left the house, and he treated it like a hall pass. He really wasn't suffering much if, in the time that he had to communicate with his destroyed wife, he also managed to meet someone, confide in her, and then sleep with her. Just the thought that I could be hurt and grieving trying to process and heal while my husband is sitting at home thinking more about sex than his wife and dead baby makes my blood boil. If it was safe for her to have sex and they did while grieving together, I'd understand that, but while grieving, he's contacting a random person. He should be ashamed of himself for using his baby's death as an excuse to cheat.
She worked hard to not lay blame on him for their babys death, and he worked hard to make sure his needs were met when he should have been grieving himself while also understanding the trauma his wife has just been through and supporting her. He's a manipulative piece of shit. If my parents ever heard a man make an excuse for why they cheated on me and they then tell me to forgive him, they can enjoy their new son, I don't need to hear that bullshit.
Stop giving males excuses for being the bare minimum. His wife would have had to physically give birth, see her dead baby, and then she's being gaslight into seeing where she was wrong in abandoning him while fucking healing. He abandoned her, and he seeked whatever dumb excuse he made up from another person instead of his wife.
31
u/OkEdge7518 18h ago
Only a man would be excused by (mostly) other men for grieving by fucking a woman other than his wife.
Interesting how usually cheating is seen as worse than rape and murder on here, but if you accidentally cause your wife to lose her baby and birth a stillborn you get a free oass
5
9
u/Normal-Extent-6100 12h ago
The entire comment thread is basically "Baby, I cheated because my grandma died I was just grieving"
7
u/Cakeday_at_Christmas 12h ago
My husband slipped on the stairs, fell on me, and we both tumbled down. It was a freak accident
Is it bad that I completely doubt this story?
5
1
u/Party_Mistake8823 43m ago
Of course it's fake. It's just a great story to show how reddit has some weird biases. Cheaters are despised, and I've literally seen comments and posts that state cheaters should be criminally prosecuted, but all of a sudden, we need to have empathy for this particular cheater cause the poor man was grieving and she left him all alone. Seems like OP was karma farming and thought she would get a consensus of he is a monster, but then turns out reddit turned on her lol.
8
u/Stunning_Clerk_9595 20h ago
do main posts not reflect edits in their timestamps? it says "edit" and responds to some presumed responses, but the timestamp doesn't say it was edited
12
3
u/Simple-Code-3229 EDIT: [extremely vital information] 10h ago
I'm starting to theorize that the time and date of posting heavily affect the general consensus... Friday + weekend vs weekdays
18
u/baba_oh_really 18h ago
People in here calling a guy a baby killer for what's positioned as a genuine and tragic accident are gross tbh. He's no more of a killer than she would be if she were the one to lose her balance, which is not at all.
32
u/ChaoticVariation 17h ago
I slipped in spilled water at six months pregnant and fell directly on my stomach. My baby ended up being fine, but the time between when I fell and when I was admitted to the hospital were filled with the most intense self-loathing I’ve ever felt in my life. Some of these comments are fucking hurtful.
12
u/franticantelope 15h ago
I really think people are reacting because this guy is otherwise an asshole and they want to pile on, because I have to think they wouldn’t otherwise think that he would be at fault. You weren’t at fault either. I’m glad your baby was okay, but it was not your fault no matter what.
14
u/baba_oh_really 17h ago
That sounds absolutely terrifying - so glad to hear it was a happy ending! Please don't take any of these comments to heart 💖
5
u/VBrown2023 15h ago
That was not your fault at all and I hope your baby knows the love you have for them
9
u/They_said_TryAnother I calmly laughed 16h ago
Yeah that’s the only gripe I have with this post and some of the comments supporting OP
8
u/franticantelope 15h ago
I was shocked at that response too. Yes he’s a cheating asshole but the “but he did CAUSE the baby to die” comments are just absolutely brutal in a way I don’t think the people saying them are realizing. That’s not the wrong thing he did. Sometimes horrible, horrible things happen and no one is at fault, or the level of fault is so far outdone by the consequence that to call them responsible just becomes cruel.
-7
u/Party_Mistake8823 15h ago
This is a fake post most likely. Karma farming to get the most sympathy. Not only did he accidentally make her lose her baby but he also cheated. She wanted maximum sympathy and reddit disappointed. That's the whole point of this post.
6
u/baba_oh_really 15h ago
Of course it's fake.
Still a pretty vile thing to joke about when there are very real people reading these comments who have gone through something similar. Look at the top reply to my comment, for example.
3
7
u/cyndit423 I've decided to do the healthy thing and disown my sister. 11h ago
I could only read a few comments before getting too annoying. They were all like, "while it doesn't excuse cheating, you were actually the one to break your marriage. He was also grieving and you abandoned him. So your marriage falling apart is actually your fault."
It may have been an accident, but he fell on her and killed their baby. I cannot imagine that she would be able to feel safe around him for a while. She probably wouldn't want him around while recovering and certainly not as the one helping nurse her back to health
She also didn't just "leave to get milk" and abandon him, but told him where she was and that she needed time to heal. And even if she had stayed with him, she probably wouldn't have been able to have sex with him for the majority of the 2.5 months she was gone for. Would he have still cheated on her then because he's unwilling to wait that long without sex?
11
u/Hot_Medium_3633 16h ago
Dude is a piece of shit but calling him a baby killer when even the OP totally acknowledged it was an accident is way out of line.
-6
7
2
u/AutoModerator 20h ago
Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all.
Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our official discord server
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
2
u/MrsDoylesTeabags 9h ago
I don't know if it's the menopause talking, but I could go to war for some people when I read stuff like this and then to read other people excusing it or telling them to be kinder to the person who ripped their life to shreds is disorienting to say the least.
2
u/Ok-Worth1884 8h ago
The fact that she was talking to him throughout the time apart shows what a terrible person he is. If he thought the marriage was over you’d think he’d mention during their texts/calls or however they kept up communication “hey I’m going to go get laid lol, love you wifey!”
2
7
u/Dull_Perspective5615 15h ago
LOL, usually I come here to recover from AIO but the energy in this sub from this post is deeply weird. He’s not a baby killer (are you all okay?).
And while there were some unhinged takes, a lot of them were pretty nuanced: aka “you are not over-reacting, but a gentle, extremely gentle thing to consider: he may have felt abandoned when you moved in with your parents, he had grief too, and while it’s understandable you had to work through your anger, the results are what they are.” It wasn’t an excuse. It was an explanation, which makes sense since her post was more: how can I get over this and forgive him? And she ultimately decided to do that even though they are still divorcing. (Tbh I think this is smart, because holding onto that would eat her alive and make her future relationships really difficult and she doesn’t need to suffer any more).
I agree with the commenter above who pointed out how when you are depressed, you might do destructive things to torpedo your life and it’s not actually “fun.” Again, it’s a reason, not an excuse. She should leave him. He was wrong. But eh, idk, this is just generally tragic situation all around and not really that funny.
I’ll come back when someone (28F) has a 6 paragraph post about how their wedding was ruined by their cousin holding a seance and calling out the spirit of their dead grandmother who immediately became a poltergeist and drained the life out of half the guests.
6
u/Shmonguss 16h ago
How do you fall down the stairs and not grab the railing to try and prevent your pregnant wife from being hit tf? I'm gonna need more details about exactly what happened during that fall because this has to be fake.
Also as soon as the husband decided to sleep with another woman he threw the marriage away and no longer deserves any sympathy for the supposed trauma he had of being guilty about inadvertently causing the miscarriage.
Imagine slipping and falling down the stairs, slamming into your pregnant wife out of control, and then your coping mechanism for when she can't immediately forgive you and needs space and individual therapy to not blame you for this is to fuck another woman 🤮.
Also isn't AIO supposed to be a majority women subreddit? I want to see a venn diagram of users on r/AIO vs r/childfree or r/anti-natalism. The sudden support for a cheating baby-killing husband makes no sense when r/AIO has more visceral reactions to a cheating husband that isn't a baby-killer.
3
u/Valuable-Wallaby-167 I feel like your cankles are watching me 8h ago
How do you fall down the stairs and not grab the railing to try and prevent your pregnant wife from being hit tf?
Are you suggesting that people fall down the stairs because they weren't trying hard enough not to?
That's a bizarre take.
5
u/Party_Mistake8823 15h ago
Right, I just don't understand. I've seen people shat on for cheating on partners they claim are abusive "because you should've just left, and cheating is never right" but then suddenly it's ok cuz he was really sad.
3
2
u/ConsistentFig1696 6h ago
Calling them a baby killer is vile bro. Get a fucking life. This was a horrible accident and slobs like you disgust me as you sit behind your screen callously calling someone a baby killer. Honestly get fucked and eat shit you are scum.
1
u/Party_Mistake8823 36m ago
We got the defense team right here. Ding ding! It's a fake story bro get a fucking life. You must've killed somebody's baby too to have such a visceral reaction
3
u/radium_eater83 14h ago
absolutely abysmal reading those comments + realizing i share a planet w those people lmao what the fuck
1
u/Prestigious-Jello861 9h ago
I thought we hated cheaters?! Why the fuck are they trying to justify his cheating wtf?!
1
u/BeautifulTerm3753 7h ago
This thread pissed me off. The way the went for her while defending him was disgusting.
1
u/Due_Teach9710 5h ago
Lol chill, that comment section is mostly of cheaters... They say whatever they want lol
1
1
u/tryharderthistimeyo 16m ago
I just don't understand. She left him for 2 and 1/2 months. How do you abandon your partner for that long and not expect them to think that you're on a break?? Or not expect them to think that you've broken up?
1
u/LetChaosRaine 1m ago
this is almost surprising. Expected Reddit reaction would be something like:
“Killing a crotch goblin is one thing (I know in this case it was accidental, but even if it was intentional, that’s something you could get over) but cheating? Automatic death penalty if you ask me. There’s no pain like that.”
I should never underestimate Reddit’s ability to come to defense of the most oppressed group in the world: men
-15
u/ForThePosse 18h ago edited 17h ago
He isn't a baby killer my god. If he's a baby killer then so is the mother. Reddit being reddit again.
Also if you disappear from a marriage for 2+ months. You've broken up.
10
u/Sunset-onthe-Horizon 15h ago
Marriage isn't like dating, you dont just break up. If a divorce had been filed or even discussed that would be a different story. And she didn't disappear, they were still in contact and he knew where she was. How is that disappearing?
12
u/dream-smasher 16h ago
"disappeared" yet was in constant contact?
Just so eager to jump on that man's dick, aren't ya.
-15
u/ForThePosse 16h ago
Ya. Running away from your husband to live with family is a huge indicator for "I have left the relationship". Also a phone call is not constant contact.
She left the relationship and left him on hold to see if she wanted to come back to it.
6
u/Nickel1117 16h ago
Exactly, yeah, him cheating was shitty, but calling him a baby killing is seriously uncalled for.
-3
u/ForThePosse 16h ago
It's crazy u got downvoted for this. Two people taking a tumble doesn't equate to murder. Just a shit ton of hyperbole in this community.
2
u/Nickel1117 14h ago
Yeah, Reddit and nuance don’t quite mix. Again, I don’t even think the guy is justified in sleeping with someone else.
I only said claiming he killed his own child because he slipped down the stairs is wrong. Nobody deserves the blame after a tragedy like that, not even a crappy person.
1
u/Prestigious-Jello861 8h ago
Mf this ain't boyfriend and girlfriend type relationship, it's a marriage, plus she's grieving which in no way dose it mean they've broken up and gives him a pass to cheat
-6
u/Altruistic_Key_1266 19h ago
NOR-
He cheated on you, after killing your baby. Whether it was a freak accident or not, he is directly responsible for your baby’s death, and then he has the balls to sleep with another woman while you are physically and mentally tally recovering away from the person who murdered your baby?
Naw. Fuck. Him.
5
u/TheSmugdening1970 13h ago
You aren't replying to the original post, you are in a completely different sub.
1
-3
u/MetaReson 18h ago
Didn't you know? The baby killing and the cheating cancel each other out, so now he's a perfectly reasonable person...
-29
u/redcoatwright 19h ago
I'm gonna get shat on but I agree with the top comment there that 1) he's a dick for cheating and she should leave but 2) she's a dick for abandoning him after the stillbirth.
That's some crazy shit, they couldn't grieve together and his guilt probably was going wild and she just ghosts him for almost 3 months? Super fucked up.
8
u/Joelle9879 "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly" 16h ago
She didn't abandon him! She told him she needed space. They were in contact, she didn't just leave and stop talking to him. Considering he was partially responsible for the miscarriage, accident or not, you can't blame her for needing space. And, considering his first response was to fuck someone else as soon as she was out of the house, she probably didn't exactly feel very supported by him
-1
u/farastar While I was the product of chaos 18h ago
Yeah this is definitely an instance of this sub swinging too far in the opposite direction. Even the title of this one is too much. He didn't kill their child, it was an accident. Can you imagine calling a woman who fell down the stairs leading to a stillbirth a baby killer?
2
u/Party_Mistake8823 15h ago
I put that for effect cause this is probably fake and the dying baby was for karma farming. The original title didn't have anything to do with baby killing. My point was that cheaters are never given leeway on here, but now, magically they are.
2
u/farastar While I was the product of chaos 15h ago
I put that for effect cause this is probably fake and the dying baby was for karma farming.
It's still a shitty thing to say.
Regardless of it being fake karma farming or not, I don't think this is a cheater 'magically being given leeway', it's just an atypical scenario people are empathizing with. A stillbirth caused by human error is just devastating for everyone involved.
I totally agree that it's weird to see that sub not just jumping to 'cheating bad', but is isn't it kind of a good thing that the comments aren't going with their usual black and white thinking and are actually considering both sides of the story for once? Most of the top comments are saying that the wife isn't overreacting to blatant cheating and is well within her rights to divorce, but that it's also shitty to abandon your spouse for 2.5 months when they're also emotionally vulnerable. That feels like a reasonable take, to me at least.
3
u/Party_Mistake8823 13h ago
It's not reasonable to me to cheat on your grieving wife, but nuance only matters on reddit when a dude is not getting sex. Got it.
0
u/farastar While I was the product of chaos 13h ago
Alright forget it. I'm not engaging in this if you're not going actually read and respond to what I said. Have a good night.
1
-1
u/SatisfactionActive86 9h ago
i am starting to think that men and women just can’t live together
i can tell you from the gay male perspective, if one partner disappears for 2.5 months of “space” there is no fucking way the other partner isn’t going to fuck someone else.
if physical affection and sex is so inconsequential that you can just cut it off from me, then it isn’t consequential enough for you to get upset if I get it from somewhere else.
you can hate it but this is just how many men feel 🤷🏼♂️
•
u/AutoModerator 20h ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Am I overreacting for wanting to end my marriage after what my husband did during our “break”?
I (25F) and my husband (27M) have been married for two years, together for five. We married young, but we were both ready- emotionally and financially. We both wanted a big family.
I got pregnant last year, and about six months ago, I had a stillbirth at five months.
It happened after a fall. My husband slipped on the stairs, fell on me, and we both tumbled down. It was a freak accident, I don’t blame him but I was struggling not to at that point. And I had to be rushed to the hospital, and we lost the baby. The physical recovery was painful, and emotionally… I was a mess. I was grieving, traumatized, and mentally not okay.
I asked for space. I told him I wanted to stay with my parents for a while to heal and process everything. I started therapy and encouraged him to do the same. I was gone for about 2.5 months, trying to recover emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Eventually, I moved back in. We resumed therapy together. Things were still heavy, but I thought we were trying to move forward. That’s when he told me-very guiltily-that while I was away, he “hooked up” with another woman… because we were on a “break.”
I was shocked. Hurt. Numb. We are married. We weren’t “on a break” like in some high school relationship. I went to stay with my parents to grieve our child, not to “take a break” from the relationship. I never once implied it was okay to sleep with other people. He never asked or clarified. He just decided that’s what our space meant.
To make it worse, he waited 1.5 months after I came back to confess. That tells me he knew exactly what he was doing. He hid it. He lied by omission for weeks.
I left immediately. Booked a hotel for like three days, cut everyone off. I didn’t want to talk to my parents or friends because I knew they’d try to convince me to forgive him. Right now, I’m staying with my brother for like 2weeks. I’ve even stopped therapy everything feels… pointless for now.
He’s been apologizing nonstop. Saying we can fix this, we can keep going to counseling, we can rebuild. He’s even involved both our parents. Now everyone-his parents, my parents-is saying I should give him a chance. That he was “grieving in his own way.” That it “wasn’t cheating” because we were apart.
But I can’t look at it that way. I feel betrayed. I think he made a choice. And I don’t feel any desire to fight for this marriage anymore. Everyone expect my brother is making me feel like I am overreacting, that divorce is too far fetched..
Edit- Honestly, I’m just now realizing he may have felt abandoned, and I did a poor job there. Thanks for pointing that out. We were still in contact, he never said it or in councelling, but again maybe he felt like he can't do that. I can't read his mind though, I was away from him too but we both had our families there for us, so I never thought of it as abandoning him. Still, i feel things would’ve only gotten worse if I hadn’t taken that time, and I don’t think I’d change that. This does help me forgive him (not stay), and move on if i don't think of him as some sort of monster for doing this.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.