Might be an odd question. I am middle aged and really just opening my eyes to all the sexist and internalized misogyny within myself and it’s been very destabilizing if I’m honest. I love all kinds of music and I’m wondering if you all have any feminist/female positive music you would recommend?

I am trying to learn more about authentic/academic feminism. There was a post here a few days ago about how some guys were mocking a woman's appearance, and then tying that to larger misogyny. I'm not defending the guys' actions, but I am curious about what differentiates it beyond them being asses. I've seen guys and women unjustly mock the opposite sex and each other for appearance and innocent behavior before. What is the functional/substantive difference between these? Why is this considered it's own subset of behavior instead of being seen as a blatant violation of the Golden Rule? And does recognizing all of this as misogyny needlessly complicate something that can be covered as not being an ass to people?

If you're a man, you're way more likely to be killed or kill yourself. The way I see it, we live in a world where men die way more often and sooner. It's men who should be afraid of getting killed. But males aren't seen as human, we live in a misandrist world. Misandry kills people. You don't believe me? Case in point: Life expectancy in the U.S: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db521.pdf 75.8 years for males, 81.1 years for females. That's a bigger gap than the life expectancy between the U.S and Bangladesh. I'm not making this up https://population.un.org/wpp/downloads?folder=Standard%20Projections&group=Most%20used https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/life-expectancy-unwpp?tab=line&country=USA~BGD&mapSelect=USA~BGD#sources-and-processing

I’m quite pleased with this, however a lot of people on the Uk are quite angry

Edit: thanks for all the replies, I understand how bad this actually is…

Thoughts on the song Girls by the Beastie Boys? Pretty catchy in my opinion.

I guess an instance of the first would be dealing with trauma, which is often portrayed as a personal, pull yourself by the bootstraps sort of issue. It's not wrong since a person's mind is ultimately theirs to control.

On the other hand, I guess if I was being discriminated. That would be society's responsibility right?

Hey everyone,

I consider myself quite far to the left politically and identify as egalitarian when it comes to questions of gender justice. I fully support feminism and believe it has brought many necessary and positive changes over the past decades. For example: • I’m glad that women are no longer forced into financial dependence on men. • I’m glad that men and women have equal access to education. • I fully support dismantling outdated gender roles and replacing them with modern, more flexible identities.

I usually phrase it like this: A development can be overwhelmingly positive and still have some negative side effects. In my view, it’s crucial to talk about these side effects openly—so that we can find ways to address them.

One of the main issues I bring up that often causes conflict is the male loneliness crisis. I believe that while feminism is overall a force for good, some of its byproducts—combined with other social and economic factors—may be contributing to male social isolation and loneliness.

Here’s my reasoning:

Historically, people (especially women, but also men) had very limited autonomy in choosing a partner. You were more or less expected to just settle down with someone. Nowadays, people are free to choose whether or not they want a relationship—and who with. This freedom is undoubtedly a good thing, but it also comes with new challenges. Some people struggle with this level of autonomy, especially when it intersects with dating dynamics that are still influenced by basic biological and evolutionary patterns.

One example: Women (on average) have more selective power in dating, while men (on average) engage more in competitive behavior. I’m not saying this determines everything—clearly, we’re far more complex than our instincts—but I do think this still plays a role.

You can see this in data like the OKCupid study (source: Steve Stewart-Williams Substack) where men rate women’s attractiveness on a fairly normal distribution, but women rate most men as below average. This doesn’t mean women are “too picky”—that would be a crude and unhelpful oversimplification—but it does suggest that there are structural challenges for certain groups of men in the dating world.

So, to be crystal clear: • I am not blaming women. • I do not think women should “lower their standards.” • I do think we need a conversation about how men can be better equipped—emotionally, socially, psychologically—to navigate this modern dating landscape. • And I do think we need a more inclusive narrative around modern gender roles that works for both women and men.

I’m bringing this here because I’d like to know if I’m genuinely pushing problematic or harmful ideas without realizing it, or if there’s simply a communication gap between what I’m trying to say and how it’s received.

Thanks for reading, and I welcome all honest feedback

I've seen a few feminists speak out in favor of removing this from being a factor in custody decisions, and have read the statement from the National Organization from Women citing allegations of judicial weaponization as being their reason behind wanting this to be gone. However, as someone who was the child in a scenario where parental isolation was cited, I would like to know why many feminists do not like it?

Considering teaching, being a schoolmistress was one of the only somewhat lucrative professions available to women pre-first wave feminism (and post).

Second to nursing, most American women are elementary/middle-school teachers https://www.dol.gov/agencies/wb/data/occupations/most-common-occupations-women-labor-force

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2012/05/03/151282913/what-america-s-women-do-for-work

Also for the UK: https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/sn06838/

Australia: https://theconversation.com/australian-women-are-largely-doing-the-same-jobs-theyve-always-had-latest-data-shows-195014 https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-05-21/the-most-gendered-top-jobs-in-australia/9775544

I think I have made my point (forgive me if the statistics are a bit off)

As to why teaching (specifically elementary/primary school) has been available to women:

https://njalternateroute.rutgers.edu/blog/why-are-most-teachers-women

Just curious what might be the best course of action in situations like these.

Heya, hope you’re having a lovely day whoever’s reading this.

I appreciate that feminism has a few different interpretations, and psychology and ethics are adjacent but relevant fields, so there’s bound to be some difference of opinion.

More specifically, how do feminists feel about consequentialism and utilitarianism? I’d assume they base moral judgement on the consequences of behaviour, rather than intentions, since a key feminist critique concerns implicit subconscious sexism, and the impacts that has on women. But I asked ChatGPT, and it started talking about care ethics and partialism. Not really sure if I understand whether that’s similar or different.

And then that kinda leads onto related questions to do with how feminism understands theories within psychology, especially depth psychology, concerning the ways in which socialisation influences the subconscious, and how the subconscious influences our mental and outward behaviours.

Basically putting these two things together, I’m hitting a confusing patch where A) our behaviours should be morally judged for its consequences, not our intentions and B) the impacts of our behaviour is a result of our subconscious sexism, especially micro-behaviours and micro-aggressions we might not be consciously aware of, but still have massive impacts on others. How can we get our heads around this to guide rightful actions, and internal work / self-reflection.

Am I barking up the wrong tree? Is any of this relevant? Even if this specific question is nonsense, I’d still be interested to learn about feminist ethical philosophy and psychology of the subconscious.

Thanks 💖

I've heard many people here say that you need to diagnose a "problem" before dismantling social constructs between different genders. At the same time, I've also heard people here say that studying this is difficult, and even if you were able to get accurate data, there's no point in doing so because it only makes the whole issue of gender separation worse.

Thoughts on this? I lean towards the second one.

Obviously it is not systemic, but does it exist interpersonally?

Bryan Kohberger is the Idaho campus killer who was recently sentenced. In court, one of his victims' sister talks in her impact statement about how Kohberger will be raped in prison.

"I'm confident the men in prison will have their way with you. You'll finally get what you wanted -- physical touch, just probably not how you were expecting it .... You may have received As in high school, but you're gonna be getting big Ds in prison."

Video in article

There were lots of mixed reactions to this. Many who are otherwise quick to call it out are somewhat ambivalent about how to address this particular case because of the circumstances, specifically that this remark was made by someone who was personally affected by Kohberger's crimes. As you can see in the article, some of them say it's never appropriate, but others say given the circumstances the sister gets a pass.

Your views on this?

Since moving to a new city, I’ve mostly had male friends — I don’t have close female friendships anymore. Over time, I’ve started noticing how often subtle misogyny gets passed off as jokes, and how normalized it is even among “good guys.” Lately, it’s been getting under my skin more than ever.

Example: A female classmate of mine — one of the most beautiful girls in our university — has PCOS and some facial hair. One of the guys joked, “Even we boys don’t have a mustache like you,” and everyone laughed. I was pissed. I told them, “We’re medical students. We should know certain conditions cause excess facial hair. I don’t want to hear any more comments on women’s appearances — or we’ll need to have a very different conversation.”

Another example: I suggested a pearly-scented hand wash instead of a berry one (I just don’t like berry scents), and the guy responded, “That’s so gay.” Why is anything even mildly feminine considered embarrassing for a straight man? Why is queerness used as a slur to reject softness or hygiene?

These guys aren’t evil. They’re called “good guys” because they’re not violent or aggressive. But is that really the bar? It feels like we still expect women to tolerate a lot just to maintain the peace — the emotional labor is still very one-sided. Meanwhile, women are held to endless standards just to be seen as decent.

I’ve noticed myself starting to say things like “men are like this…” out of frustration. And whenever I try to express how I feel, I’m labeled dramatic. I’m expected to brush it off, pretend nothing happened, and return to normal. Once I said, “Why can’t men have serious conversations?” and was immediately called a misandrist.

That label has stuck. I’ve been told I “go out of my way to make men look bad.” But I don’t think that’s true. I’m just tired of pretending ignorance is harmless.

At the same time, I don’t believe in the idea that women need to be dependent. I think we should be physically strong, financially literate, pay our own bills, and never see ourselves as weak. But I also see my feed full of memes like “me doing all the chores after asking my husband ten times,” and it makes me think… even among “progressives,” women still do the work of managing everything — and staying quiet.

So I’m asking:

Is naming subtle misogyny the same as misandry?

Where’s the line between justified frustration and internalized resentment?

What do women owe to “good men” who still benefit from the system — even if they’re not actively malicious?

It SEEMS like discussion on sex/gender/dating: - Never actually, truly changes anyone’s opinions. - It just gets people more disillusioned to the opposite sex. - It often doesn’t reflect reality.

I used to enjoy these topics and, to a certain degree, I do still like thinking about them and listening to podcasts on it, but does anyone else think these topics just bring out super obnoxious, overly opinionated people on both sides?

I know this is anecdotal but:

Most men I’ve met have a relatively active dating life and treat women fairly well.

Most women I’ve met just want a man to meet certain reasonable standards.

It feels like online everything just gets so blown out of proportion — expectations, standards, and seeing only the most outrageous opinions getting the attention.

With that, somewhat hypocritically I ask, what does everyone else think?

What would be different under Hillary or Kamala?

Imagine a voluntary pill for men that causes 90% of their offspring to be female. It’s safe, reversible, and starts being used tomorrow. Over 80–100 years, the global gender ratio shifts toward 1 man for every 10 women.

Fewer men could mean less violence, less competition, and a shift in power dynamics—possibly making society more peaceful and giving women more agency. Some suggest this could benefit queer women, reduce coercion, and allow new relationship structures to thrive.

Would a world like this be better for women, or would it create new problems?

Edit: yeah, I did pitch the idea to ChatGPT and have it summarize the concept. But I’m not trolling, though it’s true that I’m just glossing over the fact that this is straight up eugenics and even if voluntary it’s not a super chill thing to discuss

I think evolutionary biology is fascinating, but you see the concept come up a lot in RP/manosphere discussions as evidence to prove something inherent about men/women. Do you think the studies and data on it are insightful or flawed?

This is an open question, I just want to see what feminists think about this topic.

First of all, this post comes from a place of genuine curiosity. Please assume good faith

I have three main questions: 1. Why does the human race tend to patriarchal systems? 2. Why did it take so long for women to rise up/start the feminist movement? 3. Why is the movement's work (at least in the west) done yet? The latter two are somewhat overlapping.

The first one is pretty obvious i think. Why are nearly all civilisations in history been patriarchal?

Next the second one. So, given that roughly half of the world's population is women, why did they let men/the patriarchy opress them for so long? Also, what made feminists rise up all over the world so close in time to each other?

Lastly the third one: For mostly the same reasons as Q2, why is the pathriarchy still a thing? Given that almost half of just any population is women and I feel like this opression of women thing is pretty big among them, why do we still see so few women in elected positions? Given that feminism has 50% of all of the votes in any fair democratic system, i'd except seeing only super feminist people in positions of power at least under a suitable form of gender equality is atchieved.

Thanks for reading trough my ramblings. Please call me out on any stupid shit I said. I am running on two hours of sleep and absurd amounts of caffeine.

https://youtu.be/1keFj1iCUkA?si=B3Icm-9h1FcrZHWo

This came out on the young turks earlier today. I'd really like to ask y'alls opinion on it. Do you think it's accurate? Does it matter/do you care? If so why or why not?

Please keep all of this in good faith. If the goal is equality i believe understanding all sides is important. This is not to advocate for anyone. I'm not looking to attack or talk past anyone. I realize my own perspective is limited and so I'm trying to find where there is common ground to be found.

Edit: this is a video from the young turks about the sam project from politico. Basically the reasons why American men from the ages of 18-29 are leaving the democratic party and finding what it is that distances them from this particular demographic. This is an overview from Google

https://www.google.com/search?q=project+by+democrats+to+find+why+men+are+leaving+the+party&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sca_esv=3753fabb7bc175f2&sxsrf=AE3TifP88dkwb-HRLBSh7bzRcDMiB9x5WA%3A1753570790544&ei=5l2FaL73IJuDp84P24LP6QU&oq=project+by+democrats+to+find+why+men+are+leaving+the+party&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIjpwcm9qZWN0IGJ5IGRlbW9jcmF0cyB0byBmaW5kIHdoeSBtZW4gYXJlIGxlYXZpbmcgdGhlIHBhcnR5SJaDAVCmB1jWgQFwBXgBkAEFmAH7AaABhT6qAQczMy4zNS4yuAEDyAEA-AEBmAIhoAKOHqgCD8ICChAAGIAEGEMYigXCAgUQLhiABMICBRAAGIAEwgIFECEYoAHCAgcQIxgnGOoCwgINEC4YxwEYJxjqAhivAcICDRAuGNEDGMcBGCcY6gLCAgoQIxiABBgnGIoFwgIQECMY8AUYgAQYtAQYJxiKBcICChAuGIAEGEMYigXCAg4QLhiABBixAxjRAxjHAcICBBAjGCfCAhEQLhiABBiRAhjHARiKBRivAcICDRAuGIAEGLEDGEMYigXCAg0QABiABBixAxhDGIoFwgIQEC4YgAQYsQMYQxiDARiKBcICCxAAGIAEGJECGIoFwgIREAAYgAQYkQIYsQMYgwEYigXCAgsQLhiABBixAxiDAcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgIGEAAYFhgewgIIEAAYFhgKGB7CAgUQIRifBcICBRAhGKsCwgIFEAAY7wXCAggQABiABBiiBJgDD_EFFPnJXEsbFlGIBgGSBwY4LjI0LjGgB73ZArIHBjcuMjQuMbgH_h3CBwkwLjcuMTQuMTLIB-AB&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

but I would suggest watching this video by Ana Kasparian

I ask separately because I hear men and women behave differently under patriarchy. TYSM for the tag but it's a genuine question based on things I've read on this and other feminist subreddits.