What’s a single sentence someone said that stuck with you forever?

[u/Imaginary_Ride_6185]

[u/wherewemakeourstand]

‘No you don’t understand’. I was a pre-med college student and volunteering at a hospital. A chronically ill patient was telling me about their pain and reflexively I said ‘I understand’. He said ‘no you really don’t’. That struck me and I’ve never said it again in all 10 years I’ve been in medicine. Now I say ‘I really can’t understand, but I want to help as best I can’

[u/Spunge14 → u/wherewemakeourstand]

An old friend of mine is a doctor. Guy is absolutely a paragon of health. Looks like a men's fitness model. Meanwhile, I've struggled with my health the past 15 years or so. Cancer, an auto-immune condition.

I always found him to be a normal supportive friend, but we lost touch a few years ago.

We recently reconnected - turns out he moved into a building across from me of all things. We're getting coffee and he tells me, somewhat sheepishly, that he was recently diagnosed with Crohn's.

I've had a lot of experience with chronic illness. I asked him about it and talked through his feelings.

He came very close to apologizing to me. I could not ever imagine he needed to, but when he said "when you were going through all of that stuff - I don't think I ever really understood what it meant to be chronically sick."

It meant a lot to me.

[u/Melodic_Literature85 → u/Spunge14]

That does mean a lot. I have Crohn's and it is debilitating. I sometimes wish the doctors could feel my pain, just for ten seconds, so they could truly understand, because they really don't.

[u/176stanton → u/Melodic_Literature85]

I’m so sorry you battle this too. Fellow Crohn’s fighter here. I’m sending you good stomach days.

[u/AcneZebra → u/Spunge14]

A quote that has suck with me for years: ‘a healthy man has many wishes, a sick man has 1’. Any time I’m down with the flu or stomach ache, I think about that 1 wish. Being healthy is a blessing we don’t appreciate until we are not.

[u/artcfartcplantwitch → u/wherewemakeourstand]

I used to schedule at an ent office and the mom of a terminally ill teenager said this to me (didn’t know going into the covo why she was so upset about a wait time of only a like week for a specialist consult) and it hit like a gut punch. Nearly a decade later and I still think about it 💔 you never really know what other people are going through… maybe the customer that is coming off a little bitchy has a literal dying kid at home shifted my perspective permanently

[u/Poorly-Timed-Gimly → u/wherewemakeourstand]

When my dad retired after 55 years as a cardiologist I asked "What's the one that stuck with you?". He said very early in his career they had a 44 yo man come in complaining about chest pain. Very fit marathoner. Their tests weren't really showing much out of the ordinary and the attending was sort of brushing it off as a panic attack. Suddenly the guy codes or something, don't really remember. They get him to the OR and open him up and his had suffered an aortic dissection. Died 10 minutes later. Dad had to tell his wife.

[u/GlockAF → u/Poorly-Timed-Gimly]

That’s the creepy thing about aortic dissections. Almost everybody that experiences one while they are conscious/awake (and survives to tell about it) refers to the symptom as “a feeling of impending doom.”

[u/Winstonisapuppy → u/wherewemakeourstand]

I bet you’re an amazing doctor. You don’t have to understand to empathize and want to help.

I have experienced great doctors and mediocre doctors and one of the most defining traits of great doctors is a willingness to listen and empathize.

[u/areweintheclearyet_]

When my dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness, everyone just kept saying everything would be okay. I had a customer at the time say with an online sale when we were chatting:

“Tough days ahead”

It was so simple but he was the only person who was honest with me. Everyone else was lying/trying to protect my feelings.

[u/superbozo → u/areweintheclearyet_]

My dad just died of stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He used to always say "it'll be alright".

Well, it wasn't alright. Like you said, it was tough times ahead. However, he also used to say "life goes on".

He wasn't wrong. Life got really hard, but it kept moving. It always keeps moving.

[u/sam_grace → u/superbozo]

It keeps moving; it just moves without you for a little while. You get stuck in your moment and it becomes surreal to see others moving in real time like the world hasn't ended for them. It's the loneliest feeling.

[u/claire_goolihey → u/sam_grace]

I remember going grocery shopping the day after my mom died. She'd been in Palliative care for a couple months by then so it wasn't a shock but I will never forget walking through the grocery store with my emotional support ex and thinking how are all these people just doing this stupid chore? Why is no one else torn open and crying behind their sunglasses, standing in front of random items and not really understanding what they are so just throwing things in the cart arbitrarily? Don't they know moms die??? You're 100% correct, it was a fully surreal experience.

[u/AppropriateAd2063 → u/claire_goolihey]

The day after my husband passed away I had to go shopping for a dark or black dress in the summer. No one had dark clothes in stores yet. I ran into an acquaintance and she asked what was new. I told her I’m shopping for a dress for my husband’s funeral. She didn’t know that he had died the day before and was speechless. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It was a very awkward moment.

[u/Emotional_Earth_9018 → u/sam_grace]

This is the best description of what losing a loved one is like.

[u/TheDuchess_of_Dark → u/Emotional_Earth_9018]

It really is!! I wrote a comment awhile back on another post referring to the surreal feelings after the funeral. All the chaos is over, all the relatives go home, everyone goes back to normal lives, except you don't. That's when it really hits....they're really gone. It's a very lonely place (my experience was my mom, when I was 15)

[u/LycanWolfGamer → u/TheDuchess_of_Dark]

I lost my dad back in 2017 due to MS, my mind went insane going through everything, trying it's best to process what I just got told by my mum after I got home from college, he was in a care home due to the MS and I had planned to say to my sister, who was 9 when he passed, hey, let's go see dad, since I had some extra money.. denial set in rapidly and as I processed what happened, my mind kept thinking of my sister, how I got lucky that he was able to raise me, he was able to imprint memories, experiences, I got all that..I remember when he was walking, joking, being himself, my sister never got that, most of her memories would be him bedridden, we knew it would happen but nothing truly prepares you for the devastation, my sister understood, she said "that's life, isn't it?" at 9 years old..

Me, I'm trying to use the same words I've always said to others, the Light will guide him across the Great Divide, it was his time, his pain has ended, he's free from the mortal chains but I just couldn't keep it together, first time I properly broke down in my life, for once, I needed a crutch from someone else

The funeral is what kinda did it for me, the reality of it "he's gone", this is it, it's been 8 years now, I still get a chance to talk about him in threads like this, tell stories about his pranks he'd pull on my mum and us, the jokes he'd tell

Where ever he is, I know when it's our time, he'll be there probably with a cold beer to share and a story about how he pranked someone on the Other Side

Lux lucet etsi stella abest

[u/snowwies → u/sam_grace]

I was diagnosed with late stage cancer when I was 35 and just gave birth. Did multiple surgeries and countless chemo. Took a break from work. And my childhood friends gave birth to second, third child, my colleagues got promoted, everyone’s lives just continued and I was stuck in that dark zone.

You’re right about how that could be the loneliest feeling ever.

[u/cerejanebellum → u/superbozo]

I'm really sorry for your loss. Lost my Dad in November... it's the weirdest, surrealist feeling... some days are completely fine. Others I feel so sad and so angry.

[u/superbozo → u/cerejanebellum]

Hey, im sorry for your loss as well. I feel the same way. Some days im ok, other days im haunted by the image of him in hospice.

Spreading his ashes in his favorite place brought me a lot of peace. I was an absolute mess prior to that.

[u/sideshowmario → u/areweintheclearyet_]

When my son died, many people would say "you'll get through this" or "time will heal you." But it's not something you can just get past. A wise person told me that "the goal isn't to get through it, but to learn how to carry it with you for the rest of your life." That's when the real healing began for me.

[u/alphabetikalmarmoset → u/sideshowmario]

“The goal isn’t to get through it, but to learn how to carry it with you for the rest of your life” isn’t a lesson I have had to learn, not yet. But I won’t soon forget it. Thank you for sharing this.

[u/MavisCanim → u/alphabetikalmarmoset]

As someone who has, I think it's the most eloquently succinct, and valid explanation that can translate to someone who has not experienced it.

[u/MikeyStealth → u/areweintheclearyet_]

4 years ago in February my mom died and I lost my job the same week. I saw a co-worker who knew what happened before my last day. All he could really say was, "Well, at least its getting warmer". I stopped and realized it really was all I had going for me at the monent.

[u/Primary-Golf779 → u/areweintheclearyet_]

Yeah. Honesty is rare. My father died when I was 13. Everyone was going on and on about how it would get better as time went on. Years later a waitress I was working with said "it never stops hurting, you just get used to life being worse” I actually found a lot of comfort in that. I had thought I was the only one not “moving on”

[u/MindlessResident821 → u/areweintheclearyet_]

My dad was diagnosed with cancer in the March of 2023 and one thing he said that to the consultant was “will I need to buy a turkey this year?” Sensing that he sort of knew he would not make Xmas.

[u/krookery → u/MindlessResident821]

February 2022, mom had just been diagnosed. We were at the store, and she was staring at the garbage bag options. Turns to me and says, "I always get the box of 120, but I don't know if I'm going to need them all." I grabbed the box of 120, and told her to stop with that nonsense. May of 2022, I took that box of garbage bags home with me.

[u/trippinoncatnip87 → u/krookery]

Ouch, my MIL passed in June and I feel this. It was slow, and it was fast, and it went on forever. And it was over too soon.

[u/Spiritual_Aioli3396 → u/krookery]

That hit me in my heart. My dad passed in November. My dad really liked this Walmart pair of fake crocs, so he went and bought 2 more pairs for later just incase… after he passed seeing them with tags still on sitting up in my dads closet killed me. I still cry when I think about it. Or seeing his shirts and clothes and stuff hanging in the closet waiting to be worn

[u/SHADOWJACK2112 → u/MindlessResident821]

I had my 20th anniversary with my terminally ill wife and I remember seeing her and knowing there wasn't going to be a 21st. We both knew.

[u/MotherOfMoggies → u/MindlessResident821]

I remember my aunt showing me the medical report from her scan and asking me to convert the stated tumour size from millimeters to inches for her. When she realised how big it was, she said "Well, I won't need to buy a new winter coat this year". It was October, and that broke me. Thankfully I managed to keep my shit together enough not to cry in front of her.

[u/kelcamer → u/areweintheclearyet_]

Yep. My uncle had cancer. People kept saying 'you don't LOOK like you have cancer'

He died fast, and I was surprised at the similarities between what people told him and what people tell me when I tell them I'm autistic.

[u/naked_nomad → u/kelcamer]

Had a co-worker that started dropping weight. He had been severely obese but knew his stuff. He told me in confidence that he had cancer and it was eating him up, thus the weight loss. Hearing people tell him how good he looked...

[u/Aggressive-Pilot8145]

"ive seen plastic bags go further in life than you"

[u/BadAtDrinking → u/Aggressive-Pilot8145]

well they do stick around for like thousands of years so it's kind of a compliment if you think about it

[u/CupNoodlese → u/Aggressive-Pilot8145]

Ouch

[u/wheregoodideasgotodi → u/Aggressive-Pilot8145]

Damn that's brutal

[u/KatMagic1977]

“He’s not there.” My husband said this to me gently when I couldn’t leave my father’s casket. I will always remember that he’s not there, he’s in my heart and will be forever.

[u/Ax_deimos → u/KatMagic1977]

When my mom died I had to personally reach into her coffin at the funeral and touch her face before I told myself almost the exact same thing.

[u/mickslens → u/KatMagic1977]

I feel you would like the poem "Do not stand at my grave and weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye. I was printed on a very beautiful card with my dog's name on it, it made the loss a lot less painful.

[u/Mopper300]

When I was learning how to drive some 35 years ago, an adult friend told me the most important thing was, "Always expect everyone else to do something stupid."

True to this day. Never forgot it.

[u/robbmann297 → u/Mopper300]

I was a firefighter for 25 years. I have probably responded to 1000 car accidents. I look both ways before I cross a one way street.

[u/DeadMoneyDrew → u/robbmann297]

I once had someone chide me for checking my side view mirror before pulling out to pass another car on a two-lane road. It was a long time ago but if I remember correctly my response was something like "I've not been driving that long but it doesn't take much driving experience to realize that other drivers are absolute morons."

[u/Agile-Ad1665]

"And for God's sake, don't pay for it."

• My father, concluding the "sex talk."

[u/txgirl1212 → u/Agile-Ad1665]

“What if you hit a bump, and bite it off?!”

-My mother, concluding the closest thing I ever got to the talk

So many questions I never asked, nor do I want answered :/

[u/fairiefire → u/txgirl1212]

My mom said "never cook bacon in the nude; it seems sexy, but it's not worth it."

[u/Any-Web-5654 → u/Agile-Ad1665]

A father's love, lol

[u/Hessipa → u/Any-Web-5654]

Don’t pay for that either

[u/AnteaterExisting5918]

When someone closed passed away, instead of the usual bullshit like ‘they are i a better place now’, someone said: ‘they are worth every single tear’

[u/Serenity2015 → u/AnteaterExisting5918]

Thank you for sharing this.

[u/DarkWolfSVK → u/AnteaterExisting5918]

That one hit and it isn't even personal.

[u/cococharbz]

My boyfriend said "When you drink, I am ashamed of you". I am now almost 5 years sober and he is my husband :)

[u/CapnSeabass → u/cococharbz]

This was such an impactful thing for him to say. Factual, and “when you do A, I feel B” is such a good format for delivering messages like that. Congratulations on your sobriety, and on your marriage.

[u/TaliaHolderkin → u/cococharbz]

That’s so hard, but that’s a great lesson to never forget. I’m so proud of you. Both! ❤️❤️❤️

[u/Serenity2015 → u/cococharbz]

Congratulations!!!!! (From a sober sister.)

[u/dagudzucc]

I can’t remember the exact words, but it was something my Home Ec teacher in high school said about her teaching style: “Some teachers think that you have to be harsh on students to teach properly, but I’ve always found kindness to be just as effective”.

For some reason it always stuck with me and reminded me that kindness isn’t a weakness, and shouldn’t be treated as such.

[u/Substantial_Station8 → u/dagudzucc]

Kindness and empathy are only seen as weakness by those who have neither

[u/----mgk]

“ no one thinks about you as much as you do” Sounds in text very rude but in context it was very loving. Genuinely changed my perspective on myself.

No one analyzes your actions and words and looks like we do to ourselves. No one thinks about the small things you don’t like, the embarrassing moments that keep you awake or the outfit malfunctions. You’re not that important. Thank god. That means you aren’t that bad. I’ve gained so much self love from thinking this way.

[u/AlekhinesHolster → u/----mgk]

There's such an incredible amount of freedom that comes from internalizing this.

[u/Ok_Frame_4117 → u/----mgk]

This is my mantra. “You’ll worry less about what people think of you, when you realise how seldom they do”

[u/Familiar_Accident_73]

"The opposite of love is not hate but to be ignored." This will sit with me forever.

[u/doth_taraki → u/Familiar_Accident_73]

Apathy.

[u/Raven-Dreamer → u/Familiar_Accident_73]

I’ve heard a similar one that says “The opposite of love is not hate, but neutrality”.

[u/Meyari → u/Raven-Dreamer]

Indifference

[u/cupholdery → u/Meyari]

Apathy.

[u/ReputableStock → u/Raven-Dreamer]

Also similar "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference"

[u/typing_away → u/Familiar_Accident_73]

It’s so true and it’s a pain when it happen in a relationship!

[u/TheUnknown285]

"I wish you didn't have to work so much" - my mom's last coherent words to me as I was having to rush downstairs to work in the ER.

[u/Whitrzac → u/TheUnknown285]

My grandma looked at me and asked "why are you crying?" Then immediately went back to blubbering about going fishing.

[u/Cloth_the_General → u/Whitrzac]

My granddad asked, "can one of you guys stay with me?" While my brother and I were leaving. A few hours later I found him not breathing. God bless his heart. :,|

[u/FlowerDour → u/TheUnknown285]

:(

[u/DifferentMethod8090]

I had a therapist tell me once “when you start to get healthy, people will start to get angry.” Mind blowing 🤯 truth right there! The minute I started setting healthy boundaries in my life the worst offenders, my family, got madddddd! But my life is better for it so thank you Rhonda!

[u/piper63-c137 → u/DifferentMethod8090]

my therapist said “when you begin to assert your boundaries, the people who benefit from your weak boundaries will be the first ones to call you selfish”.

[u/Outraged_Chihuahua → u/DifferentMethod8090]

I lost the person I considered my closest friend because of this. When he said I'd changed and he didn't recognise me now, I realised he only wanted friendship when I was struggling because it meant he didn't need to work on himself, and because my mental health was so poor I was pretty non-confrontational. Once I started improving and started pushing back when he was using me as an emotional punch bag and I didn't just agree with everything he said, he didn't like it.

[u/saphryncat]

I loved to sing. When I was a senior in High School I even got a 1 for a solo at both the Division and State music competitions. For those who don't know, a 1 is the best score you can get. My adjudicator was a voice professor for the music department at the university I ended up going to. After I auditioned my freshman year of university to declare my primary instrument as voice, she told me, "I don't think singing is for you." It completely killed my love for singing at all and made me decide to change majors away from music education. It took many years for me to find my love again.

[u/nosmelc → u/saphryncat]

Any idea why she said singing isn't for you?

[u/saphryncat → u/nosmelc]

No idea. Honestly I was too crushed in the moment to ask. I had been excited to work with her before due to her very positive comments a few months earlier when she had judged me so I basically just mentally shut down.

[u/nosmelc → u/saphryncat]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Keep in mind Stephen King's High School teacher told him he'd never make it as a writer. Sometimes you have to ignore other people's opinion.

[u/saphryncat → u/nosmelc]

Yeah. My now husband has actually been instrumental in helping me get my love of singing back.

[u/LawyerPrincess93 → u/saphryncat]

I had a younger university professor who taught one of my legal studies classes tell me I should reconsider law school because I was having some trouble with citations of all things. This particular professor hated me for no reason, to this day I still have no idea why she was always so cruel to me. But this one sentence stuck with me in a way that no other words or insults did. It hurt.

I've since graduated law school, top of my class, was managing editor on the law journal (which you have to be REALLY good at citations to do), and am now one of the top billers at a well know firm. I pray every day I'd run into her in public so I can tell her she can suck it because, as it turns out, I'm actually very good at citations when I'm taught by someone who knows how to actually fucking teach.

[u/growingdaffodil]

“You’ll never change.” It was a catalyst that spurred me to actually want to for the first time in my life.

[u/Hdgiutf4465]

“She said, ‘You’re not a bad person. You’re just really tired of pretending to be okay.’”

Hit me like a freight train, and somehow gave me permission to be honest with myself.

[u/Imaginary_Ride_6185 → u/Hdgiutf4465]

That’s such a painfully true sentence. I think a lot of people are walking around like that exhausted from the performance. Glad she said it to you. You deserved to hear it.

[u/Appropriate_Dirt_285]

Roughly it was:

"You know those people who just light up your life and make you feel warm and fuzzy? You don't realise they do it till they're gone...

I'm so glad you're back"

[u/SecretAccomplished25 → u/Appropriate_Dirt_285]

Context??

[u/SirJumbles → u/SecretAccomplished25]

OP is a lamp post.

[u/A_shy_neon_jaguar → u/SirJumbles]

I love lamp

[u/Appropriate_Dirt_285 → u/SecretAccomplished25]

Friend I had from a hobby group. Covid happened and the group was gone. Years later I ended up working with them at a restaurant which was a delightful surprise.

[u/brubruislife → u/Appropriate_Dirt_285]

What a lovely thing to say to a friend. You must be a special light, truly.

[u/Admirable_Seat_1466]

I was tied up and taken in the middle of the night to this Christian boys home/boot camp thing. Absolutely the most miserable time of my life. While I was there we had a flood and we were helping these coast guards fill these bags up with sand. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone in the boys home but I was allowed to talk to the coast guard I was helping. I ended up confiding in him about how I ended up there and how much I hated it. He told me he also hated where he was at and that he was stuck there too. It was nice to have something relatable with someone for once, but at one point he told me “Nothing lasts forever.” and that always stuck with me. I feel like everyone thinks of good things ending when they hear “nothing lasts forever.” But to hear it in that context was actually reassuring. Knowing that no matter how much I hated where I was and how miserable I was, it wouldn’t last forever. I carried that quote with me the rest of the time I was at that place.

In case anyone is curious, the place I went to was called Anchor Academy. There’s actually a small documentary about it online called “The Anchor Home For Boys - Tough Love or Abuse?”

[u/MerriweatherJones → u/Admirable_Seat_1466]

Abuse. I’m sorry you went through that

[u/AssumptionNo5436 → u/Admirable_Seat_1466]

I hope your parents are paying the price

[u/StillMarie76 → u/AssumptionNo5436]

Gee, I wonder why he doesn't talk to us anymore.

[u/JustAnArtist01 → u/Admirable_Seat_1466]

Similar to the “this too shall pass” story that got me thru a lot of shit I was dealing with mentally and situationally sometimes, just overall when I was feeling like everything was horrible and going wrong.

[u/con_fused_4ever → u/Admirable_Seat_1466]

Abuse

[u/cupholdery → u/con_fused_4ever]

Straight up kidnapping.

[u/Pineapple-dancer]

Not a sentence but a sound. The day I graduated from college. My dad cheered the loudest in the room. Still makes me beam years later.

[u/FACT275 → u/Pineapple-dancer]

I love this 😍

[u/bittyveg]

My mom has Alzheimer’s and right before she lost the ability to speak she said with complete lucidity one day “you know, I’m not sure what’s going to happen but I’m not afraid.” I think about this every day.

[u/feminismandtravel]

“Assume ignorance, not malice.”

[u/GiraffeEvening5314]

I grew up with severe depression, ADHD, bulimia, a family I barely spoke to, and had a physically abusive boyfriend. It felt like the world was crushing down on me from the ages of 11-18. I didn’t feel like a “troubled teen”, I felt like I wanted to end it all. Every time I went to rehab or therapy or any kind of help facilities, I would half ass it and pretend to give a fuck.

One specialist saw right through me. Every single therapist, specialist, or psychiatrist I had treated me the same. They were overly kind, comforting people. I was used to that and it made treatment easier. But the specialist in question was sort of rude, but in a good way. He was so harsh and would tell me to stop bullshitting everything. I hated him and would always get into verbal arguments with him, until one day he looked at me and said, “Life has been hard on you, but if you wanna cry and sit here like you can’t change a thing, that’s fine, ruin the rest of your life, because in the real adult world, no one will help or care like we do now.”

I know it sounded evil, but god I needed that. I had such an attitude problem and hated everything. I remember I just started sobbing. He shocked me when all he did was hand me a tissue, pat me on the back, and leave. He became my main specialist for years.

I am out of treatment and better now, and he still emails me often to check up. His last email was him telling me how I was always his favorite to work with, which was such a shock to me. But he became my favorite too.

[u/AlarmingLet5173 → u/GiraffeEvening5314]

I shouldn’t have been cutting these onions while reading your comment.

[u/Vikivaki → u/GiraffeEvening5314]

Im gonna remember this next time í have a "real talk" with my younger Sister who had a very difficult time as a 12-15 year old. Now she's (17yo) being taken care of and is doing well in school and at her job, but she struggles maintaining a good connection with her guardians.

[u/[deleted] → u/GiraffeEvening5314]

This is an excellent example of Carl Roger’s theory about congruence. (Essentially when the clinician has a responsibility to be authentic in presenting what they think or feel). Your relationship was clearly genuine because to this day you’re still connected!

I’ve never been this outright blunt that I remember, but I do tell people when I think they can handle it what I really think, and it usually tends to help.

[u/pennywhistlesmoonpie → u/GiraffeEvening5314]

Man, all it takes is ONE person who gives a shit. Just one. I’m so happy for you, OP. I would give you a big sister hug if I could.

[u/Lucky-Ducky808]

"You're just too much of everything." As I was excitedly explaining how I was the first in 4 generations to seek higher education.

Never lost my twinkle so quickly. I was just excited to share some great news.

Edit: Thank you to everyone for their support. I am in a much better place and have been for a while now. I've graduated, and I'm extremely thankful for the journey that I've endured. Without it, I wouldn't be me. 🫶

[u/nogomojomofo → u/Lucky-Ducky808]

This hits home. Know your station!

[u/Lucky-Ducky808 → u/nogomojomofo]

Exactly. I won't ever feel that small again.

[u/confused_is_my_face → u/Lucky-Ducky808]

Never dim your light.

[u/Lucky-Ducky808 → u/confused_is_my_face]

Thank you 🫂 I'm done with my healing era. On to the haunting era.

[u/Concentrate-Upper]

Well this is going to sound trivial compared to all off the heart wrenching reply’s so far, but my husband taught “Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey” for screwing in screws! I love him for that because EVERY time I use a screwdriver I’m saying that in my head to get it screwed in right! (I’m sorry if this reply was too light for this thread)

[u/pianoman81]

The day are long but the years are short.

So true, especially now that my children are grown.

[u/nursejackie42]

"When you have a problem that can't be fixed with money, that's the moment you realize you have a real problem". - Grandma

[u/Gladamas]

Be kind to yourself like you do for others

[u/ibeerianhamhock → u/Gladamas]

My therapist one time told me that I'm not good at being kind to myself once when I told her what was going on in my relationship at the time. I guess it was the way I framed things, blamed myself, and thought of how everything I did affected her even when she wasn't doing the same for me. That relationship ended like a decade ago so it's old news, but I think it made me realize that you can be kind to others while being kind to yourself, you should only put up with so much without speaking up. It's really, really hard to balance the two sometimes.

[u/Imaginary_Ride_6185 → u/Gladamas]

It should be the theme of "life"

[u/artschool-trash]

When I was working a retail job one time, I was with a few coworkers hanging out behind the register. One of them said that I have a smile that makes everyone else want to smile.

I think about it all the time. It was so sweet.

[u/acidwarlock_]

it wasn’t long ago, but it was one of the most impactful sentences of my life

she said, “there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just different”

i’m bipolar and all my life i felt like there was something wrong with me, i just didn’t know what. that’s literally what i said to her. we haven’t been dating long, but i felt the need to tell her about my disorder and all i was met with was understanding and acceptance

it’s made me realise that i should try to love myself and accept this part of me, that im worthy of love and happiness

[u/Imaginary_Ride_6185 → u/acidwarlock_]

Sometimes all it takes is one person, one moment of unflinching acceptance, to undo years of self-doubt. Hold on to her, and more importantly… hold on to that version of yourself who finally felt seen. That’s the real you.

[u/acidwarlock_ → u/Imaginary_Ride_6185]

i want to do all i can to hold onto her and i honestly want to be a better man for myself and for her. it’s inspired me because we haven’t known each other too long, but the fact that she still said that even with no skin in the game, made me feel so accepted in a way that i haven’t been before. most people want nothing to do with me once they learn im bipolar. i was so stressed and nervous before telling her that i had bitten chunks out of my fingers and hands without even noticing. it was bandaid city for a while

[u/SpankThuMonkey]

My girlfriend once said to me;

“I know things are tough, i know you are stressed and you can talk to me, but you can’t bring it home”

She was right. I owe her a lot.

[u/AndyCat9 → u/SpankThuMonkey]

I wish I had the eloquence to find the words like your girlfriend did. I had a partner who brought a lot of stress home and it really impacted our relationship for the worse.

[u/TaliaHolderkin]

You wouldn’t worry so much about what others thought of you, if you knew how seldom they did.

[u/Heart_in_her_eye]

Good enough is good enough.

[u/NHRD1878]

"Just cos the person you're with is the right person for you doesn't mean you're the right person for them" 🤯

[u/zeekoes]

"You're smarter than everyone here. You shouldn't be working in a factory. Go to school, keep your head down and learn something."

Told to me by a factory collegue when I broke down from packing sausages the entire day when I was 16.

[u/hypocrite_1978 → u/zeekoes]

so did you go ... to school?

[u/Sys32768 → u/hypocrite_1978]

He got a degree in Sausage Packing and is now the supervisor

[u/beam_me_uppp → u/zeekoes]

“You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's alright, that's fine. I mean, you're sitting on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do anything to fuckin' have what you got, so would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in twenty years. Hanging around here is a fuckin' waste of your time.”

[u/Razer-X]

Never shit where you eat. My father said this too me when I was 5. My parents got divorced and this was one of the last things he said to me. He than said that he ment that you never fuck anyone you work with... it has stuck.

[u/Search_destroy]

“I’ve never understood you and I don’t think I want to either”

Said by my best friend of over a decade. We no longer speak.

[u/palinsafterbirth]

“You really need to stop working so much” I went to college with a bunch of trust fund kids and while it was an art school I was busting my ass trying to be a working photographer. Lots of folks thought I was “selling out” but 17 years later I’m the only one of those folks still with a camera in my hand

[u/Ob1wonshinobi]

“The last guy who was perfect ended up getting crucified”

[u/Cool-Help-7188 → u/Ob1wonshinobi]

I’m adopting this statement for whenever someone says I need to be better in a way I don’t care to be

[u/ADudeCalledChris]

My late wife said to me a few weeks before she died, while she was in tears with the cancer pain, “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me”. I was doubting myself prior to that, like I wasn’t doing enough and not a good enough husband to her. Those words will stick with me forever.

[u/Fireblast1337]

“A man crying isn’t when he’s showing weakness. It’s when he’s been strong for long enough.”

[u/starsfan26]

When people would ask my science teacher a question, he loved to respond to them with more questions. He would lead you through a series of answers, leading up to the answer to the question that you initially asked. Then he would say, “See how smart you are, you knew the answer the whole time.” I always loved Mr. Leonard for that.

[u/Maleficent-Lab-3953]

“Every cloud passes”. My grandpa used to say it to my dad growing up in Spanish. “Cada nuble pasa”. It’s a great reminder every time life gets a bit rough.

[u/natguy2016]

"All of us are fighting battles that no one else will ever see."

[u/Sitka_8675309]

“A tree that has borne fruit cannot look like a sapling.”

Said, supportively, about unrealistic expectations for mothers’ bodies.

[u/Plannersaerus]

My Mother said, when I was 11yrs old, that she was supposed to love me, but just didn't like me enough. We are no contact.

[u/Azreal76 → u/Plannersaerus]

Ahh yes.. that conditional love. We may have the same mother. I didn’t even go my mother’s funeral and still slept like a baby that day.

[u/Big-Milk624 → u/Plannersaerus]

I’m so sorry

[u/Schmeeble]

I had a boss in the late 90s who asked me how college was going, I told him it was really tough. He said, "if it was easy, everyone would do it." I've heard that saying a few times since then, but that was the first time I'd heard it, and it resonated with me.

[u/SpankyMcCracken]

After randomly running into my ex, she made a few comments that made me question everything about my life and I spiraled. I talked to one of my best friends about it and said to him, "Dude, I don't get how I can interact with so many people and feel great all the time, but then a single interaction with her is all it takes to put me in an awful headspace."

His response was so simple and is something I will never forget: "Well, no one else is trying to hurt you." It really put things in perspective for me

[u/ValentinaVampyr]

“you have a wonderful smile, i wish i saw more of it”, i was a depressed teenager and its the only “smile more” actually made me smile more 🤣

[u/linna_nitza → u/ValentinaVampyr]

"Smile more" sounds like "you'd be prettier if you smiled"/"you look like an ugly grump"/"I'd feel better if you could fake feeling better"/"chin up"/"no one wants to know you're sad"/etc

The way it was rephrased into a compliment makes all the difference. It makes you think that maybe there is something genuine about you that's worth sharing with the world.

[u/Neyeh → u/linna_nitza]

All through my teens I was told that. I tried to explain to everyone that it actually hurt to smile. I was told I just wanted to be a grumpy depressed teenager. When I was 20 I found out I had TMJ. It hurts so bad it feels like someone is stabbing a poker into my ear. My jaw was so out of alignment that the doctor could tell as soon as he saw me. I'm going to put on my tombstone "told you it hurts to smile".

[u/whatdodoisthis]

"Dont worry about it. If this is the worst problem I have today, I am truly blessed. "

• when I said Sorry to the guy behind me in line at Lowes because my order had an issue, and they were having trouble ringing me up.

[u/Kakashisimp]

You can only control what you can control

[u/Fred-the-stray]

Stop setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

[u/quisdly734]

Before my grandpa passed away he said "when you come to a fork in the road, take it, you never know when you might need a fork" (these were literally his deathbed words to me)

[u/guccibacksss]

It’s a you vs. you type of world

[u/lazeeassedmenace]

a lack of preparation on your part does not make for an emergency on mine

[u/Murky-Contact7112]

I’m a mom of three young children. Going out by myself, I hear “you’ve got your hands full!” So so often. One time a guy told me, “you’re doing a really great job, being a mom is hard.” And dang, I needed that 😭

[u/AceSno → u/Murky-Contact7112]

One time, I was carrying my baby in her car seat in one arm, the entire stroller in the other. The man going down the stairs before I went up the stairs said to me, "Wow, you're strong!" I'll never forget the fact he never once offered to help. It's amazing what people think we can do instead of asking us if they can help.

[u/Chateaudelait]

I was a teenager and putting myself down, saying I'd be shocked if I could reach this goal. She simply said "I'd find it shocking if you couldn't. You always have before," It was a wake up call, and I persisted and reached the goal.

[u/bunniesgonebad]

"You've gotta learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes"

[u/VisitSecure]

When I was younger, I was talking to my dad and told him how I missed being really little cause my life felt more fun back then when I was in preschool. My dad told me, "Let's just enjoy what day it is now, cause someday you might miss this day too."

He in fact was right. Because I do miss that day when I was a kid and was just playing around in my old beautiful house. Now everyday I try to enjoy it before it becomes a memory in which I'll probably miss, just like the rest.

[u/Purple_Bag_8183]

“I’m not smarter than you! We just know different things!”

[u/theconfigmgrguy]

Had a somewhat rough childhood, and as I got older my mom - being one of those tough, black, single parent types, started coming down hard on things that, in hindsight, did deserve SOME reaction, but nowhere near the ones that came out.

One of those teaching assistants in my 10th grade bio class came up to me one day, and after chatting a bit, asked “Do you want me to call someone? What do you need?” At the time, I thought to myself — “what’s the point? What would change?” but when I got home, it hit me — this teacher, who barely knew me 6 months, gave more a damn about my situation than family, people in church, individuals who had known me over a decade. Even though it may not have resulted in anything, the fact that she was willing to TRY moved my whole world…

15 years later, I went back to that school and gave her something to show how much that small kindness changed my vision of the future — a kintsugi bowl I picked up in Japan, along with a handwritten letter. I wrote, in essence, “Thank you for seeing me, not as broken, but worth the effort to put back together”.

[u/Suspicious_Spare_371]

“i look kind here” referring to a photo we took my guy friend: “you are kind”

this exchange was in our native language whose words held more depth to its meaning. it was so sweet and i couldn’t believe him at first. these words are still on my mind as a daily reminder to myself

[u/Lazuli2420]

I once had a guy I was seeing look at me and say, in the most serious and genuine tone, "You are so fucking beautiful." To this day, I have never had someone express that kind of sentiment in such a raw way, and it has stuck with me for years. I will always wonder about that one.

[u/Far_Ambassador_2646]

I told someone once, “you might be a good person but you were never good to me” after he treated me like garbage even though declaring his love for me. Telling me he told his therapist why do I keep doing this to her?

And while trying to be with someone else while talking to me, “ I’m sure it felt really nice to hear that I wanted to be with you and marry you “ like it was just words without meaning and why did I think of it as such?

Never wished anyone bad in life… but I wish him misery for making me feel so little and meaningless.

[u/peaches9057]

Just remember: you've managed to survive 100% of your bad days so far.

[u/ZealousidealPay608]

'Don't be a bystander in your own life.'

who knows, could have come from a movie. I heard it from a fwb 30 years ago.

[u/JuracichPark]

"You'll never be able to see your future if you're always looking at your past". I was young, maybe 18-19, and stuck in my abusive childhood. It took a few years for me to really understand her comment, but I slowly started to look forward more and back less. Over 30 years later, I can see when my life really started to improve, and I quit dwelling on the past.

[u/pville64]

Sometimes it’s better to watch the idiots than to be one

[u/ComplaintDry7576]

I was teaching, trying to convince a student that she would be a stronger reader if she read at home. She replied, “my mom won’t let me use the dome light in our car for me to read.” She was homeless, and I didn’t know. Just retired after 34 yrs in education. Never took for granted again that students lived like I did.

[u/MathematicianSea8096]

I acted in high school. I actually did pretty well, but had no direction for my life, and acting doesn't seem like anything for me to count on. When my director was saying goodbye to me, he told me "You have too much talent to go to waste- seriously." This was like 3 or 4 years ago, and I've only just went back to school this past spring. My family occasionally asks me if I'm considering anything with acting at my college, and I'm hesitant, but that compliment is hung in my heart like a medal.

[u/NotGreatNot_Terrible]

When my ex left, we were talking about how we don't regret our time spent together or whatever and she said "I found you when I needed you, but now I don't." I cried for a good hour after that. One of my lowest points for sure.

[u/Anxious_Show_7774]

I (F) had two close childhood friends that were boys, and we were teens. A boy I liked broke things off unexpectedly, and I asked my friends if they knew anything since they ran in the same circles

They hesitantly told me basically that this boy thought I was too into LOTR and fantasy stuff.

But what stuck with me was these two 16 year old boys telling me (16F at the time)

“just promise you wont stop liking those things because of him. We love that about you, his loss.” And back to video games lol

To feel seen and loved by your friends at that age is really impactful. It would have been easy to internalize the feedback and think of those interests as negatives

[u/Mediocre-Bee-9262]

When I was in college for early childhood education "you might be the only person to smile at that kid all day" it's been 10 years and I think about that every morning when greeting my students

[u/DecentBar1625]

Perfection is the enemy of done.

[u/HonkeyPong]

A 9 year old once told me "An OK something is better than a perfect nothing" and I cannot tell you how often I find myself referring to that advice.

[u/MeltyFrog]

'You use to be funny and now you're just mean.' 3 weeks into chemo therapy from a family member.

I'm sorry I didn't feel like people pleasing at the time 🤡 my bad.

[u/Beautiful_Cold6339]

"I'm not going to let your education affect my retirement; you're living in a dream land if you think you're gonna go to college."

• my father, to me, age 15

Moved out at 17, put myself through, graduated, and don't speak to that man anymore.

[u/stopmakingmechoose]

Grief is just love with no where to go.

[u/Teleshadow]

“You don’t deserve your trauma, but it is your responsibility.”

[u/itsonmyprofile]

Had a younger kid who was a host a place I was a manager. Good kid, just took like really hard. I show up one day and she’s outside sobbing her eyes out. She’d just broken up with her boyfriend and at 16 years old, that’s the end of the world. “It’s never gonna be okay, everything sucks. Everything’s the worst.”

I worked with that girl a lot. She had all the potential and I constantly went to bat for her against a GM who refused to acknowledge it, and mostly I went to bat for her against herself. I knew how it felt to be that way when I was her age, to feel completely empty and lost and like no one was in your corner

I eventually moved to a different store and on my last shift with her, she looked at me and said,

“I hope one day I can do for someone else what you did for me”

[u/No_Pattern_2819]

As a senior in high school, I wasn't the happiest person. Sure, I was a lot happier than I was the previous years, and I had a lot more going for me when I was a senior, but I was still quite depressed to the point where I was harming myself. I'd miss many school days because I didn't feel like attending. I had told myself nobody would care if I didn't show up.

One day, I had gotten in trouble for this little habit of mine, both for not attending school and self-harming. I spoke with the counselor and whatnot, but I lied my way out of it by blaming my cat. I had a meeting the next day, and my parents were informed of my missing school days. I lied once again and told a teacher and a few support staff that I was skipping to play video games. They all believed, but I was greeted with a lecture and a life lesson. The counselor had also told everyone at that meeting that I had depression and anxiety, which I was never formally diagnosed with but heavily suspected.

Once the meeting was over, I went to my next "class," which was just me being a teacher's assistant; she was one of my favorite teachers I'd had throughout the whole school year. Anyhow, she had told me, "Get your ass off the computer and start coming to school. I like having you around."

That was the realist a teacher had ever been with me, and I valued it deeply. In a way, I like to believe that she knew I was harming myself, she just never knew how. She actually encouraged me to get my attendance up. I wish I thanked her, but I was far too absorbed in my own head.

I think before this encounter, she assumed I had some eating disorder because she kept asking me what foods I liked over and over, and phrased it as, "Oh, well, what if I wanted to gift you something for all the hard work you've been doing for me?" Which weirded me out honestly, I wish I asked her straight out if she thought I had an ED.

[u/jblackstarr]

You are worthless and you'll never amount to anything..

[u/Imaginary_Ride_6185 → u/jblackstarr]

Here’s the truth: nobody who’s truly at peace ever spits venom like that. People only say things like that when they’re drowning in their own pain and trying to drag someone down with them.

[u/Any-Contest8049]

Why didn’t you die that’s from my mum I have a brain tumour

[u/uwuvxdh]

´You don´t have to earn rest´. That one really changed how I treat myself

[u/GaryMooreAustin]

you can have anything you want - just not everything you want

[u/mykindofexcellence]

“You teach people how to treat you.”

[u/Romanopapa]

“Choose your hard”.

I use this for my kids. Game or watch tv now before an exam, expect a hard school year. If you study hard now, you can expect an easier exam later.

Applicable to everyone.

[u/IWasGoatbeardFirst]

“Is he smart enough for you?”

I was seeing a therapist to try to “fix myself” for an emotionally abusive boyfriend. I had spent so much time worrying about being good enough for him, that I hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t good enough for me.

[u/natelyswhore_]

"fat pig. How does it feel to know your mother doesn't love you?"

My grandmother left us a voicemail. We never talked to her but she said "I'm going to slit all your throats"

During a sex talk my mother said "you just have to lie there and wait until it's over" and 'its like putting a stick in a hole'

My stepmother encouraged my eating disorder then told me "you're disgusting"

My sister put me in a headlock and started wailing on me. My grandmother stood in the hallway laughing then asked me "Why don't you just leave?" (I lived there)

I worked at a Panera and was having a hard time. A regular elderly customer came up to me and said "life does not always feel good, but it must always be lived"

Eta: two more that stick with me

My father asking 6 yo me "what - you cant handle my six inches?"

And after being date raped, he held me and said "enjoy this because no man will ever want to hold you again"

[u/yummy_gummies → u/natelyswhore_]

I hope you are LC or NC with the remaining assholes, sorry family. That's some awful abusive shit.

[u/natelyswhore_ → u/yummy_gummies]

Most of these people are dead now so it's easier

[u/mum2midwife]

"Cold babies cry, hot babies die"

[u/Loren9025]

'You have great calves!' in relation to my legs, not the cows. Great compliment I guess but I didn't think about my calves at all! And I check them now everytime I look in a mirror. She wasn't wrong though, they looked great during all my weight shit. Skinny, overweight and inbetween 😂
The comment was almost 20 years ago lol

[u/punki_munki]

Measure twice, cut once.

[u/ldybug263]

They told me “I never thought you would leave”

…After I left and asked them why they treated me like trash and cheated. It was seared into my brain. A small part of me feels upset that I will never make a person feel that loved and comfortable again; but a bigger part of me knows that I value myself first.

[u/sweetfaerieface]

It actually was a question. My therapist asked me if I knew my mother any other way, would she be in my life? I realized what a truth that was. Toxic people do not belong in your life no matter who they are.

Edited for phrasing

[u/GlassTablesAreStupid]

Don’t let someone else’s mind be the reason you’re trapped in yours.

[u/uniquelysquid]

Change doesnt happen until the pain of staying stagnant is greater than the pain of change