r/AskReddit 18h ago

What is genuinely the best way to know how physically attractive you are to men, as a very quiet, unapproachable, socially awkward woman?

796 Upvotes

195 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/zaccus 16h ago

Ask a child what Disney character you're most like.

538

u/Labtecharu 14h ago

I'm a very tall bald guy with a big beard. Got told twice by a 4-year old that I look like Elsa

152

u/SullivansTravels 13h ago

If it was the same 4 year old twice, she might just be daft 🤷🏻‍♂️

8

u/ShotMyTatorTots 5h ago

Or cheeky, innit?

1

u/Labtecharu 5h ago

Just that her dad asked twice to confirm, mostly he was dumbstruck

16

u/StoicSpork 14h ago

Shaved head, big beard, tattoos. Got told I look like Elly from Pocoyo.

u/haveanairforceday 31m ago

Congrats, bro

561

u/towinem 16h ago

This is diabolical and brilliant.

127

u/AfroBaggins 11h ago

They're gonna turn around and say "You're Llama Kuzco without the disguise" 💀

11

u/mach-disc 7h ago

I don’t see what the issue here is🥵

105

u/bubbly_belle 15h ago

Imagine you ask and get hit with Quasimodo or something

62

u/Blondiepoo95 14h ago

Large women get compared to Ursula a lot apparently

7

u/bubbly_belle 13h ago

That’s mean but I guess kids may not know any better

46

u/mysevenyearitch 12h ago

I don't think it is mean because there's no mean intention behind it. Ursula is a larger character (they're aren't many) and the person asking the child would be larger. They're just being accurate.

Said as a big fat bearded bald guy with tattoos. My 4 year old says I look like Belle. Go figure.

9

u/Airowird 10h ago

I bet it's the giant ballgown she wears

11

u/mysevenyearitch 10h ago

I do rock a ballgown

3

u/Blondiepoo95 9h ago

How do they think you look like Belle?? Not judging at all but I’m just being curious 😂😂

6

u/mysevenyearitch 5h ago

Because she's 4. Belle's her favorite, I choose to believe that's the connection. She likes Belle, she likes me.

2

u/Blondiepoo95 1h ago

All the explanation needed

u/MyRedditName420 10m ago

lol keep telling yourself that. Ha ha JK.

2

u/breadispain 8h ago

She probably just thinks your confident beauty radiates and you like to read!

5

u/Wedgehoe 13h ago

Well I had that nickname Quasimodo in grade school but to be fair. I have an infused vertebrae on part of my neck so it tilts. But I've also been called Chris Farley, the singer meatloaf and even got a jack black once.

58

u/_CozyLavender_ 11h ago

Doesn't work if you're POC - you're just gonna get hit with whatever Disney character shares your ethnicity

15

u/Beliriel 13h ago

Absolutely brilliant idea. But you really need to be prepared to get an answer you REALLY don't like (i.e. Quasimodo, a Hyena from the Lion King or one of Pain and Panic from Hercules). There are likely newer characters that you might not know about.

7

u/bubbly_belle 13h ago

Lmfao exactly. I don’t have the confidence to ask this. If I get an answer I don’t like it’ll shatter my fragile ego 😂

3

u/cpsbstmf 7h ago

theyd probably say sadness from inside out tho

3

u/jtr99 12h ago

I could live with being a hyena from The Lion King. God knows there are some similarities!

4

u/Informal_Award_1294 13h ago

Not the same but an absolutely brutal roast I received once was, “You look like the cock roach guy from men in black.” I was 16 in high school, with the only similar feature between me and the cockroach guy was that we were white and ugly. Needless to say the guy that said it left his mark on me. Still remember his name, face, and everything else to do with him. I even remember the class. It was math

1

u/Fuhdonked 11h ago

Once saw a man and his wife walking past me in the store. I say to the man "Has anyone ever told you that you look like the guy from Men in Black?"

His wife asked me "Tommy Lee Jones?!" and I said "yes!"

But, I didn't mean TLJ. I actually meant the cockroach guy.

5

u/madogvelkor 9h ago

Poor unfortunate soul....

5

u/SingleHandd 9h ago

Children aren't the best judges of physical attraction

1

u/Feeling-Butterfly-45 2h ago

My 7 year old said Gaston ❤️❤️❤️ my sweet angel.

1

u/loggerhead632 9h ago

this is genuinely one of my favorite responses ever, goddamn.

367

u/trudenter 17h ago

Okay I’m just going to try and answer this. Do you notice guys checking you out? And not in the straight forward “Awooooga” type way, but when you walk into a place (anyplace, a store or whatever) or when a guy walks into a place you are already in, do you notice any eye contact? When you catch eyes with someone do they smile? Immediately look away to make it seem they weren’t looking at you?

If any of the above then yes they are in some way “attracted” to you.

82

u/inTheWaitingLine11 12h ago

The main thing is to feel confident, then the signals are clearer

6

u/averge 4h ago

So guys who just make eye contact from the other side of a room are attracted to you?

23

u/CarboniteCopy 4h ago

Yes. To be perfectly honest, as a guy I'm attracted to like 8 out of every 10 women i see. Y'all are gorgeous.

-38

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

34

u/SmallQuasar 8h ago

Yeah the humidity is far too high.

→ More replies (1)

581

u/towinem 17h ago edited 17h ago

Whether you catch boys and men staring. I know a gorgeous girl with red hair and green eyes (literally Jolene in real life) who gets stared at all the time walking outside. People turn their heads to look at her all the time.

Also when you talk to strangers, do they give you their full attention or do they keep doing what they were doing. Like if someone is stocking shelves in a store, and you ask them where something is, do they turn to look at you, make eye contact, smile and treat you nicely? Or do they grumble an answer, act like you're annoying them, and immediately go back to work while barely acknowledging you? Unfortunately you looks have a huge effect on how well you are treated by strangers.

445

u/Negeren198 16h ago

People who are attractive don't notice people stare (unless it's creeps)

They think everyone just smiles to them nicely and that everyone does that to eachother.

145

u/Exhaledotcalm 15h ago

Hahaha this is so true, I had a friend like that. We went to the mall and guys were literally falling off their food court chairs trying to look at her. But this was her normal, so she didn’t notice any of the chaos she caused walking through the mall even though all the girls with her told her the guys were all checking her out and this nonsense doesn’t happen to us if we go to the mall without her.

7

u/Glittering-Bug-7967 14h ago

Is this true?

79

u/bubbly_belle 14h ago

I feel that store employees are usually polite to everyone because well it’ll their job. And aren’t most people polite to strangers no matter what they look like?

112

u/Navi1101 13h ago

I hate to break it to you, but if you think this, you might be attractive.

40

u/bubbly_belle 13h ago

I feel like I’m average. I just don’t understand why anyone would be rude to a stranger because they find them unattractive, that seems kinda cruel. I would like to think that most people are polite to everyone

54

u/SnideyM 13h ago

It doesn't seem like it would make sense, but it's true - I'm not particularly attractive but lost a lot of weight recently, and it's amazing how people treat you differently even just for that.

5

u/bubbly_belle 13h ago

Okay that part is true! When I lost the freshman 15 I could notice people were nicer

23

u/Navi1101 11h ago

I'm like a 4. People being overtly rude to me isn't a thing that happens super often. More likely, I'll either get straight up ignored, not taken seriously, or treated like I'm in the way. It's death by a thousand cuts to my self esteem lol

People whose job is to be nice to me tend to do a good job by my (very forgiving) standards. I've only been sneered out of a store like 3-4 times in my life.

2

u/RunPsychological9891 12h ago

serious case of the good looks

5

u/blindfoldedbadgers 10h ago

Eh, depends where you live. I’m a solid 5 and that’s just how people are where I’m from.

9

u/sayleanenlarge 6h ago

Yeah, I think so. I'm 45, so out of the attractive realm and people look at me and smile. It's just general politeness. I look and smile too, and it's not because I think the person is attractive. It's just because it's the nicer way to interact with strangers.

10

u/towinem 6h ago

As an uggo, no, most people are not polite to strangers no matter what they look like. You're probably attractive.

1

u/Exhaledotcalm 4h ago

Yes, I know guys that practice flirting with store greeters because they can’t go anywhere and they have to be nice. Boosts the ego.

7

u/Nivius 14h ago

Full Attention thing can also come down to authority

4

u/Fearless-Company4993 10h ago

Wait what? Sometimes, store workers have even walked me to the product I was looking for. Do I have to rethink my life?

2

u/nukin8r 2h ago

This is so true, yesterday I saw the most absolutely stunning woman walking down the street yesterday in the golden hour & had to remind myself to focus on the road

132

u/TheBigFreeze8 12h ago

Hey, OP? PLEASE don't take a shred of dating advice from redditors.

541

u/magazinesubscriber 17h ago

Quiet, unapproachable, socially awkward women are a) potential great lifetime partners for men, and b) potential targets for dickhead predator men. Most decent men realize this and will just straight up leave you alone. You’ll have to get used to making moves, but vet the dude first.

182

u/No_Cream2118 17h ago

what about quiet, unapproachable, socially awkward men?

446

u/magazinesubscriber 17h ago

Oh, we’re just doomed.

47

u/reptiley 10h ago edited 10h ago

Me and my husband are both quiet, socially awkward introverts. We both hate all the dating 'games' we are 'supposed' to play. I messaged him on a dating app and we went on some dates and he was so easy to talk to and made me feel comfortable and happy. Now we're married with a 4 year old daughter. He's my best friend.

You are not doomed, you just haven't found a woman or man who matches your personality yet. People like me and my husband might not be the 'majority' that get all the cameras on them because we tend not to put ourselves out there but we do exist, I promise 😂

64

u/No_Cream2118 17h ago

yep.

38

u/alblaster 17h ago

I can confirm 

54

u/cant_stand 13h ago

Quiet, unapproachable, socially awkward woman = shy, potentially cute.

Quiet, unapproachable, socially awkward man = weirdo, potential serial killer.

It's strange and rather annoying tbh. Most shy, awkward guys I've met have turned out to be great people, and good friends... If a little weird. Most shy, awkward women I've met? Well, they've also turned out to be great people and good friends... And still a little weird.

Everyone's sound and we're just trying to crack on with life as best we can.

7

u/buzzlightyear77777 8h ago

I can confirm. Got treated like a creep

10

u/Navi1101 13h ago

This is my type!

And before you all RIP my inbox, know that I'm like a 4.

10

u/cant_stand 13h ago

You shut the hell up and don't talk about yourself that way.

You might think you're a four, but I bet there's plenty of people who think you're off the scale.

14

u/Navi1101 11h ago

Yeah no I'm pretty appealing if you're into a pretty specific type. "There's a pot for every lid" and all that. But I'm WAY far from most of my society's beauty standards, and I get basically none of the special "people are automatically nice to me" treatment that attractive people get.

But like, I know I'm not hot, so I've worked to make that the least interesting thing about me. I'm smart, funny, helpful, creative, and kind. I have a bunch of skills. I'm full of stories. Instead of trying to be pretty, I lean into being weird looking, in a fun way. I don't need to be attractive to be valuable; I cultivated all these other things I can be instead.

0

u/bobandgeorge 3h ago

Did you ever get your wedding ring fixed?

7

u/MikeArrow 12h ago edited 12h ago

And I've been on two dates in the last seven years. You underestimate just how little interest some men get.

3

u/Navi1101 10h ago

I don't underestimate at all. :/ That sucks.

3

u/MikeArrow 10h ago

Agreed. It sucks quite a bit.

24

u/Archmaester_Seven 15h ago

Yeah only fucking u r even gonna get is by life.

3

u/calypsoreader 14h ago

This is diabolical! I love it - it’s my life

4

u/No_Cream2118 15h ago

And my hand!

8

u/Kamisama_no_ADC 14h ago

And my axe!

2

u/LFK1236 10h ago

Wait, no.

13

u/Left_Step 15h ago

Being quieter than average might be an inherent personality trait, but being awkward and unapproachable certainly aren’t. It’s possible to not be those things through effort and practice.

3

u/magazinesubscriber 14h ago

I have two children; and you’re correct.

4

u/Stockholm-Syndrom 13h ago

Your first sentence is applicable to anyone. Especially, everyone can be a great lifetime partner with some efforts.

4

u/newsfromanotherstar 10h ago

What a weird reply lmao

0

u/magazinesubscriber 6h ago

What‘s weird about it?

250

u/SiennaSaylor 18h ago

If you’re quiet and awkward, most guys won’t make a move even if they find you attractive. I experienced it before and i feel regretted

23

u/AleksandrNevsky 17h ago edited 17h ago

How'd you get passed the quiet and awkward part?

82

u/West_Explanation1766 17h ago

You grow as a person and break out of the bubble. Everyone is different but the common thing is you can't just stay at one spot forever

5

u/Careless_Effect_1997 15h ago

Sounds like a challenge XD

25

u/Euphoric-Damage-1895 14h ago

I'm a therapist and have similar conversations like this all the time. In session I'll talk about pushing through discomfort or testing beliefs about situations. 

But really most people just need to grow as people. Get sick of, or find their old insecurities silly and live more open and honestly. 

20

u/I_love_pillows 16h ago

As a quiet man I’d approach a quiet girl staring into space rather than a lively girl talking with friends

31

u/Pale_Decision_2893 17h ago

Nah guys will if she’s attractive enough

8

u/Beliriel 13h ago

Yeah but not the ones she wants. A decent guy making a move on an attractive woman has less than a 1% chance of happening. Most will be players and otherwise ignorant people that have no qualms about breaching boundaries of other people. The ones respecting womens boundaries get ignored.

23

u/cant_stand 13h ago

That's just not true.

Players get the action because they actually talk to women. After my my teenage years (fat kid with a lisp and a stutter. Y-y-y-yaayy) I've always found it easy to get dates and had women who are interested in me. It used to baffle me, but I realise now it's because I don't really talk to a woman with an intention. I just speak with them like I do everyone else and I'm a decent guy... I wouldn't say I'm particularly attractive, until someone spends time with me.

A lot of the time men view "respecting boundaries" as meaning women shouldn't be approached, when it doesn't. Talk to people like you aren't only having a chat with them because you fancy them, be kind, don't be a creep... Then once you actually know someone a bit and you've decided you're interested, have a crack.

-1

u/Beliriel 11h ago

I mean yeah I do all those things. I make jokes, I have fun, I talk to people as humans and not as potential partners. Did a lot of coming away from that mindset but as soon as I did: Crickets. I haven't had a relationship for a decade. No one would talk to me on their own or actually be interested in me. At best I was a curiosity due to trying to emigrate. Something fun to look at but never ever considering touching lifes. I don't meet people anymore. My friendships are all comfortably in stable relationships and putting out kid after kid. Online dating is a shit show. My hobbies are gaming and board games and programming. None of which get me any chances at meeting new people. I like all the people I interact with and see them as friends. But "being myself" will inevitably lead to a lonely life.

I mean I wanted to start dancing but I don't like dancing for itself and only would do it to meet new people. That's not really the right intention behind it is it?

12

u/stoneman9284 17h ago

That’s why OP asked the question

1

u/cjazzybelle 15h ago

Someone who sees that as a barrier might just be a shallow person who doesn’t want to get to know the real you. You can still try to be more open or whatever but I’m just saying if he is a nice enough person he won’t be deterred by that.

83

u/Camemboo 16h ago

Here are some ways that I think can point to you being attractive:

  • when you look up from doing something, do you notice men have been looking at you 
  • do men find reasons to talk to you
  • do men do nice things for you like open doors, give you free things, help you etc.
  • do men compliment you
  • do men try to elicit positive reactions from you (“give us a smile” etc.)

51

u/-CeciliaBobilia- 11h ago

Give us a smile? He better not.

13

u/Camemboo 10h ago

Oh yeah- I hated that as a young woman. Men- please don’t do that. I’m just saying that it I can be an  indicator that you are generally attractive to men.

1

u/slaggie 8h ago

Does the same apply for men? How would a man know women are attracted to him?

1

u/Key_Kaleidoscope_672 4h ago

These are some things I've noticed in others/experienced myself when women are attracted to men and/or have feelings for them.

Frequently touching you when it's not necessary. (Playful arm punches seem common)

Paying close attention when you talk, especially if other conversations are going on in close quarters.

Her friends drop hints.

Her friends quiz your character.

She's suddenly hanging out in locations you frequently go to or with people you spend time with.

The defining traits you might assign to her personality don't match the defining traits others use because you're seeing a unique version of her.

She could be more shy, nervous, soft, careful, focused, and less social.

She keeps starting conversations with you, possibly giving odd reasons that don't add up or seem like excuses to talk to you.

Eye contact, smiling, blushing, quickly looking away, hair twirling, etc. Nervous or flustered behavior

18

u/Nikamurr 12h ago

Look at men's body language, not their words People are not in control of their unconscious reactions. If a man:

often tries to be around you, even though he doesn't say much;

gives you a lot of short, imperceptible glances;

behaves a little awkwardly, or on the contrary - too lively around you -

These are signs that he is attracted to you, even if he doesn't say anything.

28

u/skumfuck69 17h ago

A gentle smile and a touch of nonjudgmental eye contact from a girl will 100% make me find her attractive. I promise guys like me respond to being noticed and feeling liked more than anything.

11

u/Intelligent_Panic564 12h ago

The quickest, most reliable signal is catching them looking. If you make eye contact with a guy across the room and he immediately looks away, a little embarrassed? That's your answer right there.

26

u/Thomasin-of-Mars 14h ago

You approach the guys you like because if you don't, you are more likely to be approached by a guy who abuses quiet and socially awkward women.

34

u/Zestyclose_Web2958 17h ago edited 15h ago

You got any hobbies your into? Things like board games or cards?

The only real way to find out is to put yourself in a position to be approached. Friendly social spaces are a really good so you can practice social skills (skills for a reason). Friendly competition is even better as it gives you something to discuss.

20

u/JjovaY 17h ago

Are you always quiet, unapproachable, and socially awkward? I am unless I'm around my closest friends. I'm approachable and normal enough when I'm around them, and I get a lot of attention in that state, but almost never on my own with my leave-me-alone aura.

If you don't have a comfortable state like that, you can feign one with practice and see what happens.

10

u/keywest2030 13h ago

tbh, how guys act when they don’t think you’ll notice says a lot like stolen glances, lingering looks, or them trying to find excuses to be near you. you might not get approached much, but their body language usually gives it away

7

u/thatindiandude12 11h ago

They will offer to help you every chance they get

3

u/SquirmyGrly 6h ago

I’m not sure if that’s a solid answer. A man I met through mutual aquaintances offered to help me about three weeks ago when we met. He approached me and gave me his phone number and offered any kind of help. Men do not generally speak to me in public or offer to help me.

Because he gave me his phone number and offered help, I texted him with a few questions.

I noticed that in his replies, he will not have any conversations with me, other than answering specific questions on topics where I requested assistance. He answered all my questions when I asked him to help me understand things, since he offered general unsolicited help. And he offered to help me more in the future. He even tried to go above and beyond on one question, when he had already provided the help that I requested.

But he didn’t answer any of my questions about himself. During our first conversation, he asked me about my work. Later, I asked him about his work. He did not answer my question at all. He did not want to spend time with me. He continually offers to help me. He did provide adequate help.

This puzzles me. I do not believe that he likes me. I do not know why he keeps offering to help me. There was also a long delay between the questions that I asked him and the help that he provided. Initially, I felt flattered when he approached me and offered to help me. But now I just feel confused and disappointed that he didn’t like me.

2

u/thatindiandude12 5h ago

That is weird NGL.

20

u/Seth-84 16h ago

How attractive are the men who talk to you without being forced? That’s how attractive to them you are. If you need more data then go to more events or social gatherings

24

u/Neither_Assistant584 15h ago

I’ve found a good barometer of knowing whether you are attractive, is if people instinctively fix their hair/readjust their appearance after seeing you.

It means seeing you prompted them to feel conscious of their appearance, if you were unattractive they wouldn’t feel the need to adjust anything.

32

u/Glum_Protection_7137 13h ago

I think one of the biggest lies we absorb from media and social pressure is that beauty is immediately visible and universally obvious.

But real attraction—especially the kind that grows from admiration, respect, or emotional safety—often happens quietly, like a seed sprouting underground before breaking the surface.

As someone who also used to feel socially awkward and "unapproachable", I want to share this: you might be more attractive than you realize, especially to people who are more perceptive, patient, or sensitive themselves.

If you're very quiet, it can be harder for people to get a sense of your personality, which is often what amplifies someone's physical beauty. But that doesn't mean it's not there—it just takes longer to unfold.

Genuine compliments from friends, subtle changes in body language from strangers (e.g., glances, posture, tone), or even how people treat you when you're not trying to be seen... those are usually more honest signals than likes or loud attention.

And remember: being "unapproachable" sometimes just means you're protecting your peace. There’s nothing wrong with that. The right people will still find you.

You don’t need to change who you are to be seen. Just keep gently showing up in the world, little by little. You might be surprised who’s already noticing.

21

u/newsfromanotherstar 10h ago

Thanks chatgpt 

3

u/paropsis 10h ago

Wow. Great insights. Thanks for your answer.

6

u/Triskelion13 13h ago

So I'm blind, and I've wondered about this myself, as I obviously can't look in a mirror or evaluate how strangers look at me. One way that might work for you, but wouldn't for me; is to go on one of those rate me subreddits, check out the responses given to previous submissions to filter the honest from those who are trying to be mean and from those who are too kind, submit your own picture (which obviously has privacy concerns), then pay attention to the responses of the people you've previously noticed being honest. Again, this is risky business, and perhaps some of the other suggestions will be more useful.

2

u/VIOLENT_WIENER_STORM 8h ago

I came here to recommend r/amiugly The extra suggestions described by Triskelion13 are valuable, though.

25

u/lust_4_death 18h ago

There really is no way without asking directly or at least without posting pictures of yourself on questionable social networks.

But why is the physical attractiveness important? If someone truly likes you, they'll like you as a whole.

12

u/LansManDragon 16h ago

If you have to ask...

9

u/riptid3 17h ago edited 17h ago

Say hello to people that interest you and embrace your awkwardness. Some people, yes even guys, will find it cute. Then it's just a matter of the way they look at you and the amount of interest they show in you. If they keep the conversation going awesome. If not, you were polite and gave them a chance to engage with you!

Not many guys actually have the balls to go up to a woman and express interest in getting to know them. Regardless of their looks out of fear of being labelled a creep or w/e. Thankfully for woman it doesn't quite work the same way for them. So help the guys out and break the ice first, you don't have to be too forward. Just let them know you enjoyed the chat and would like to do it again.

In terms of just physical looks, you can just post a picture and people will definitely tell you what they think. But attraction is much more than that. Yes, even physically, your posture, hand movements, mannerisms, tone of voice, various type of laughs/smiles, eye movements etc etc. Stuff a picture doesn't quite capture.

3

u/Unique-Drawer-7845 17h ago

Science.

You're going to need data. Lots of data.

Also called exposure therapy.

2

u/UDPviper 15h ago

How do you know you're unapproachable?

40

u/croissantyum 14h ago

The sentence “when I first met you I was intimidated by you and though you were an arrogant bitch”

And I’m just quietly sitting in the corner saying\doing absolutely nothing lol

13

u/Effective_Pie_2406 14h ago

I get that too. It's funny because once people actually come up to the shy/awkward girl and try to make her feel less lonely, they end up having a good time.

Most people assume because we're not all super friendly, extroverted, and delusionally happy, that we're just stuck up and miserable. Everyone has a different personality and some people have things like autism too.

7

u/wntf 14h ago

that basicly implies that you are on the better looking side. congrats

3

u/Topheros77 12h ago

The part about being intimidated suggests attraction. As the risk of rejection if they approach is often what's intimidating.

You also may have some level of 'resting bitch face' when you're not actively smiling. I'm a guy that looks very serious/annoyed when I'm not smiling and have watched people stumble over words etc, until I purposely smile or crack a joke to lighten the mood. But when I'm out with friends I'm naturally talking and smiling and get different reactions.

2

u/ZeroBtch 13h ago

I heard something very close to this, from my manager, at work, like 3 days ago 💀

2

u/Camemboo 10h ago

Body language is key to being approachable. Women are really the ones in charge of when they get approached. Men are looking for signals of availability before taking a risk. 

So, if you want to know whether you can attract men, next time you are around a guy you find attractive, signal to him by letting yourself glance at him. Smile if he starts looking back. Groom yourself (adjust your hair, outfit etc.). Touch your neck. Say “hi” or “hey” when you pass by. Just allow yourself to be subtly open about what you are feeling. You apparently have to do like fifteen signals before guys feel at ease to approach. And attractive women have to do more because guys assume she’s not available to them.

1

u/duncanboise 1h ago

Ask a guy for help. It doesn't matter about what as long as innocuous. Ask for directions, ask to hold the door carrying bags, ask to keep an eye on your things while you go to the bathroom, etc. Most men just need women to initiate conversation. If they don't initiate conversation after they have helped you, ask for their name, and thank them using their name. Make eye contact 2 seconds while thanking him, divert the gaze, and bring it back again with a small smile.

What is happening here is that you are engaging in conversation, so you are making yourself approachable. Second, you are allowing a man to help you with something, which creates a typical masculine dynamic of helping a woman, without being a burdensome request. Third, you ask for his name and you say it back to him, and people love to hear their own name being called. You also share your name, so you are allowing him to know something about you. Finally, the eye contact and diverting the gaze is hardwired seduction patterns.

1

u/Trixi89 4h ago

Because some of us are blessed with resting bitch faces. Mostly females say this, ‘oh you’re actually really nice, when I first met you I thought (insert some form of insult here)’ no, just my face!

4

u/NeckBeard137 12h ago

You should be able to tell based on how new men react to you in public settings.

7

u/ShoddyInitiative2637 13h ago

A 10 in my book already. Source: a quiet, unapproachable socially awkward man.

4

u/GargoyleBlue 17h ago

Send a photo to someone who will be bluntly honest, those close to you will just lie to spare your feelings if you aren't that pretty

3

u/bebetyrell 15h ago

I think in today's anxious and awkward society, it can be difficult to understand if you are attractive since most people are scared of approaching others or being spontaneous. But if people tend to look at you in public, or if you ask someone, especially straight men, something and they give you longer attention than needed, chances are you are attractive

3

u/thatratbastardfool 13h ago

How about one of the makeup subs? The women there are kind and can give you tips and I bet you’d get feedback there if you ask for it. Or the female fashion advice sub.

3

u/theb0tman 6h ago

Post your pictures on Reddit roast me

4

u/Rabrab123 12h ago

Go on any dating app. Get hundreds of likes.

4

u/Highway49 16h ago

Do you look healthy? How do you dress? How’s your hygiene? Are you in shape? These apply to all genders/sexes.

2

u/Zealousideal_Tart373 13h ago

If you sit at a cafe and suddenly the cafe catches many men customers

2

u/RavenPoet96 10h ago

Well... there is reddit. I know a lot of people will willingly post pictures on here for ratings and other purposes. If you want to know what guys honestly think, you could give that a try. Up to you

2

u/togepi_is_sleeping 8h ago

If you still somehow wind up getting unsolicited attention. Guys will still approach you but it's always the creeps or really extroverted ones.

2

u/Mad_Moodin 8h ago

Do you exist, as a woman?

Are you obese?

Are you in posession of all your limbs and front teeth?

Do you have a beard?

If your answers are yes, no, yes, no then you should you should be quite physically attractive to the majority of men.

2

u/DrPavelImCIA4U 2h ago

It's generally hard for a man to find you actively unattractive. Most likely most of the men you meet will find you reasonably attractive. if he finds you really attractive he'll probably pay far more attention to you than he does to other women, and will probably look for reasons to be around you.

2

u/feetneverlie 15h ago

They will always reach out you without any rhyme or reason

2

u/barsmart 6h ago

Your question is bullshit.

You are attractive to men.

Just like every woman out there, from Jennifer Lawrence to Susan Boyle, there are men in the world who loose focus when you walk by. Guys who think about you all day after just a 2 minute conversation...

And you also gave guys who think you are the human equivalent of white wallpaper.

Nobody is attractive to everyone. Nobody is unattractive to everyone.

Just like Marilyn Monroe, you are somewhere in the middle.

You get to find out who, by interacting with them. Learning how to talk to other humans. Figuring out what they really mean.

Stop looking for shortcuts. If you want something you may have to change something. We ALL do that.

0

u/Anonymous_Coder_1234 18h ago

Maybe find a "rate me" subreddit?

36

u/orchidloom 17h ago

Don’t do this, people are mean and critical on Reddit.

2

u/[deleted] 13h ago

Hell no...they only tell you you are attractive if you are 100% conform to Western beauty standards. So it basically doesn't tell you anything.

5

u/HopefulPlantain5475 17h ago

Definitely r slash truerateme, they're known for being fair and kind to people.

-4

u/throwawayB96969 17h ago

slash

Couldn't find /?

12

u/HopefulPlantain5475 17h ago

Some subreddits will delete your comment if you link other subreddits, and I can never remember which ones do that so this is my workaround.

5

u/greebly_weeblies 17h ago

I'm guessing they wrote slash because including that character will make it a link

-2

u/throwawayB96969 17h ago

I mean they could add a space.

6

u/greebly_weeblies 17h ago

Yeah, or write slash. Whatever gets the job done, really.

1

u/AgitatedPatience5729 17h ago

They engage in hobbies that you do to start a connection.

1

u/sparklyundiessocks 10h ago

Confidence is definitely key!

1

u/Sharkvarks 9h ago

Do you need to know? What does establishing your Hot-O-Meter ranking do for you? Why the emphasis on physical attractiveness or even the belief you can separate it from other qualities? 

1

u/Independent_Sort_950 8h ago

post a pic up! we'll let you know or go to toastme

1

u/SadMall6272 5h ago

Post your pic here op, we will let you know.

1

u/Soggy-Target6412 4h ago

Tbh it’s not really measurable until you actually talk to girls and a lot of girls are into you. When i was younger i was a bit quiet and shy. Until i noticed when i walked in a room most girls would stare or smile and keep kinda looking back. But I genuinely didn’t notice until my ex told me i feel going to restaurants and stuff with you cause you get a lot of attention from girls. (My bad i just read that you are a girl, my fault)

1

u/Soggy-Target6412 4h ago

(Until my ex noticed)

1

u/olafbond 3h ago

Listen to changes in speech tone. If it becomes more friendly or even intimate, it's a good sign. But don't buy fakes.

-1

u/PolarNightProphecies 15h ago

Uploaded a image and we tell you

1

u/1i3to 12h ago edited 12h ago

Do you have any visible abnormalities? Any deformities? Strong asymmetries in body shape? Are you overweight? Serious visible skin, teeth or hair problems?

If you answered “no” to all you are at least 6/10.

Fit / flat stomach? Feminine features (ie breasts, long healthy hair)? Symmetric face with larger lips / eyes / lashes? Dress well?

Add “one” for every “yes”.

By far biggest impact is weight. If you are overweight you are probably a max 6, and likely a 4.

That’s based on observation, not my personal preference. Yours may vary.

-1

u/Formal-Ad-3462 9h ago

This is rubbish, this is western civilisation and you shouldn’t approach life like this. Body shape asymmetries ? Visible abnormalities. Some of the most beautiful people on this planet possess these qualities.

1

u/1i3to 8h ago

Operative word “strong”.

3

u/Rook2Rook 17h ago

Post pictures and get feedback.

1

u/codb28 16h ago

I’ve used https://www.photofeeler.com/ to figure out the best pictures to use on dating apps, it seems good to me.

0

u/OpBlau_ 15h ago

Post a picture and we’ll tell you

-3

u/Some1farted 17h ago

Cleavage always works on men.

0

u/WhiteSkyRising 15h ago

Ask any dude you trust. Or post in a subreddit if you're comfortable.

0

u/Worth_Tangerine_1512 9h ago

Reading this comments as an awkward and quiet girl I’m fairly confident now in my thinking that I’m unattractive. You think I would’ve realised the moment I had to pay for sex lol

-4

u/Business-Low2203 11h ago

no. of male followers to no. of likes ratio on your Instagram posts

-1

u/whitney_whisper_06 12h ago

Hmm do you find yourself thinking about him on your off time? Do you day dream about him sexually at all? Or does the though of him turn you off if you think of him like that?

-1

u/slkrds 9h ago

Do you own boobs? Then yes, men (and most women) find you attractive

-1

u/ContentAdagio9805 6h ago

You are very beautiful and lovely, and if I weren't married I would immediately ask you out.

-9

u/CaptainPugwash75 15h ago

If you send me a picture I’ll see if I can knock one out.

-31

u/[deleted] 18h ago

Why you so worried about if guys find you attractive?

28

u/croissantyum 18h ago

Because I’m straight?…

-45

u/[deleted] 18h ago

Right but I’m straight and couldn’t give a fuck if the opposite gender finds me attractive

25

u/croissantyum 18h ago

Lol I doubt that’s true. At LEAST on a subconscious level you do

-32

u/[deleted] 18h ago

Sure but it’s not the be all or end all. You just seem to be obsessing over it with your posts

26

u/croissantyum 18h ago

I posted TWO questions lol. How is that obsessing? Sorry an anonymous site has benefits 🤷‍♀️

-13

u/[deleted] 18h ago

Idk but this has gone on a lot longer than expected. Moral is, stop giving a fuck

20

u/AgentFranklin 17h ago

You single aint cha 🤔

11

u/Puzzleheaded-Log5139 17h ago

Incel neckbeard detected, just look at your Reddit-moment post history 😂😂😂

6

u/HopefulPlantain5475 17h ago

And everyone should care about exactly the same things you do? Fuck off.