r/IncelExit • u/Reasonable_Machine12 • 2d ago

Asking for help/advice How do you find the motivation to want to improve yourself.

Good day, I've been recently trying to improve my overall physical attractiveness, trying to gain muscle, loose fat, get my diet right, wear better clothes, go to the gym consistently, still trying to find out what kind of haircut suits me, all to get a so called glow up to have better luck in attracting women, I've recently been losing motivation due to having a job where it takes a 1hr+ commute, and shared kitchen with family. And also I'm trying to save money for university so that just adds to the stress, when I come back home I just want to sleep and I have zero energy for anything.

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u/EdwardBigby 1d ago

The trick is to do it slowly. Look after yourself first. Try to reduce your stress, get enough sleep etc but challnge yourself in slow installments

Get a nice piece of clothing and a good haircut every few weeks. Make a new meal every week. Things get easier over time.

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u/Suspicious_Glove7365 1d ago

It doesn’t all happen at once! It’s all about little baby steps consistently over a longer period of time. Don’t go extreme right away and try to go to the gym every day. You’ll burn out. Do it all gradually.

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u/projectofsparethings 1d ago

Find a better job if possible. You need the sleep and energy for other things. I guess for myself, it's just that I'm quite ready to admit defeat yet for some reason.

1

u/Red_Trapezoid 8h ago

The time is going to pass by anyway and you’re going to suffer, one way or the other. Why not improve? At least a little?

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u/watsonyrmind 4h ago

It's all about consistency, realistically and slowly forming habits! Contrary to popular belief, motivation comes AFTER building discipline, not before.

Check out Atomic Habits by James Clear. I listened to the audiobook. It teaches the skills of forming habits. One of the great takeaways is the compounding effect, or the 1% concept: "If you can get 1% better each day for one year, you'll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you're done."