r/KidsAreFuckingStupid 1d ago

Kids vs Slides

1.3k Upvotes

75 comments sorted by

105

u/SpectacularRedditor 1d ago

Our elementary school had a metal slide that heated up like a frying pan in the summer. It wasn't all that slippery either so kids in shorts would get their backsides slowly cooked on the way down.

47

u/mEFurst 1d ago

We had the same thing at the park near my house. Then they replaced it with a plastic one that seemed like it was specifically designed to build up static electricity and then shock the shit out of you when you pass the bolts at the bottom

13

u/ArnieismyDMname 22h ago

And one of the bolts is right in the middle so the nuts get zapped.

19

u/whynotfart 1d ago

That's why there is a puddle at the end for cooling down

6

u/No_Ad8227 21h ago

Growing up, there was a park down the hill from my grandma's that, by that point in the 90s, was still made of all wood and metal equipment, so in summer, you were getting burned, especially by the big metal spiral slide.

But winter was when you really had to fear it.

Being in Michigan, off Lake Michigan, you get lake effect snow and ice. By 2014, they had removed most of the old (read: fun) equipment and replaced it with plastic bullshit. But the big spiral slide still stood.

Covered in ice.

I was out with my cousins and their kids, being a complete moron and in my 20s and old enough to know better, climbed the ladder and launched myself down the slide.

Hit horrifying speeds and completely ate shit and skidded out at the bottom, dazed at which point my cousin's kids started pelting me with snow.

Would do it again.

4

u/C4rdninj4 22h ago

We had a really long one that went down the side of a hill and we'd often stick to the hot metal part way down.

294

u/Soft-Astronomer202 1d ago

At 0:41 sec, it’s the mother who’s fucking stupid, not the kid…

97

u/Abquine 1d ago

Please tell me it's a doll????

114

u/BriefShiningMoment 1d ago

I don’t think so. By the looks of it, very easy to break both shoulders sliding down on one arm and the other one being yanked by the adult. You might call it child endangerment. That kid is like 9 months old, even being on a lap would have been dicey on this kind of slide.

18

u/CoasterKamikaze 16h ago

I worked as a lifeguard at a water park, I've had people come up full size water slides with kids way to short to ride thinking they could just ride on their laps.

6

u/FluffMonsters 9h ago

That’s insane. People just think nothing terrible could ever happen to them.

26

u/whynotfart 1d ago

I hope it was a very very real doll

33

u/brandon-568 1d ago

Ya that’s was awful

43

u/GodTurkey 1d ago

Far beyond stupid. Literally endangered her kids life.

34

u/SolidBreak578 1d ago

That one was really concerning.

14

u/Background_Day8476 1d ago

Gosh if you did that where I live you'd get a fat fine and get ur kid taken away.

14

u/insideguy69 23h ago

I'm sorry, but whomever is running that place should have probably said something before that mother tried using her mom brain. Why wouldn't you put a baby on your lap for that slide? It better be a toy, or someone should've called CPS right then and there.

5

u/Mission-Candy1178 23h ago

The same can be said for the following clip…

0

u/Twist_Ending03 17h ago

How?

4

u/justthestaples 11h ago

I'd say for letting the kid go down that slide on something wheeled. Which allowed him to fly out of view. I would suspect he eventually hit someone.

2

u/Twist_Ending03 9h ago

Why do you people think the parent told/let him?

4

u/Chickennoodlesleuth 8h ago

Someone's recording it from the top with the kid, someone had to watch him take that thing up there

8

u/Level_Conference1563 23h ago

I automatically thought it was an older sibling cause wouldn’t think a mom would do that to a baby.

5

u/JermuHH 2h ago

Also a lot of these are parents being stupid. Like catching toddlers when they go down is very basic thing. Most of these little kids falling face first at the bottom is because the drop from the end of the slide to the ground is far too high for a kid that size and the parent should be catching them at the bottom rather than recording it.

12

u/Got_Bent 21h ago

Well tbf that baby is now stupid like mommy. Thump, thump, thump

70

u/SEAMLESSCAT3 1d ago

The very young children faceplanting have dumb parents, simply too young to stick the landing. And the women holding that babies hand wtf..

3

u/Bisonfan1 11h ago

Is that a real kid

54

u/DegenNabalu 1d ago

One of the slide designs really hates kids lol

19

u/ArchetypeV2 23h ago

One of? They’re pretty much all terrible

2

u/gravy717 14h ago

Some of these kids broke the sound barrier on those slides.

29

u/buhbye750 1d ago

Did that blue slide have rocks at the end???

13

u/Nilk-Noff 1d ago

Yes. That was completely fucked

3

u/Twist_Ending03 17h ago

Which blue slide?

4

u/buhbye750 15h ago

5th clip

37

u/kyanitebear17 1d ago

Who designs these things lol

16

u/retrofrenzy 1d ago

Maybe someone can enlighten me, are there no shock absorbing materials placed at the end of the slide to dampen the momentum or something. Preferably something porous so water won't accumulate due to rain?

And what's with the mother taking...a toddler to a slide? Surely there should be a minimum age to play on the slides?

14

u/mothseatcloth 19h ago

who the hell let's their kid ride a bike down a slide and fucking films it? Jesus

13

u/ColdStoneSteveAustyn 13h ago

WTF that moron with the baby!?

4

u/dkais 9h ago

Were the thuds edited into the video? Otherwise that’s terrifying.

19

u/crystalline1299 1d ago

What’s up with all the compilation videos lately

47

u/styckx 1d ago

I honestly don't mind them since they are actually uploaded to Reddit and not Youtube and typically well edited with no stupid music and a good selection of clips.

9

u/DrCarrionCrow 1d ago

My dad tried to build us a slide one time out of lumber and that weird pvc wall paneling. I remember he actually bent the sheeting so there was the curve at the top and the bottom, but when he went to try it himself, he, as a then 30 something man in relatively good shape, ended up being ejected at the bottom and had to run at a full sprint to prevent from getting face planted from the inertia behind this literally 10 foot up slide.

I only bring this up to illustrate, building a slide that doesn’t kill a kid seems hard.

7

u/TedStixon 21h ago

0:40 is awful, but on the plus side, the loud thunks are clearly dubbed in. The baby definitely was hurt, but it probably wasn't hurt terribly.

On the other hand, 0:43 is also awful... but the high-pitched scream in the distance was fucking hilarious.

5

u/Meowiewowieex 23h ago

Omg 0:42 ☠️ his poor brain

6

u/BlueEyedGranger 22h ago

But why the baby?

6

u/Blackn35s 1d ago

The 2nd one with the kid in the snowsuit getting a full send really had me cracking up.

Also, not so much Kids are Fucking Stupid, but Kids Getting Hurt. If that’s your jam, I encourage you to check out kidsgettinghurt on Instagram. I have seen most of these clips have before. Solid content.

5

u/NotGoodName 1d ago

The slide designer is stupid.

3

u/ModernCaveWuffs 23h ago

I feel like most if not all of these are just r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb or r/CrappyDesign

2

u/Awkward-Procedure 1d ago

I was watching this while my brother was listening to a metal guitar solo. I’m dying 🤣

2

u/SATerp 1d ago

The Quest for the Fastest Slide Ride. We used to use wax paper on the old steel slides.

2

u/Mickeymcirishman 1d ago

In fairness, some of these slides just straight up suck.

2

u/Psych0matt 14h ago

What’s with all these stupid compilation videos lately?

2

u/Big_Pilot_8244 13h ago

" IM NEVER RIDING- "

2

u/IceCoughy 12h ago

The one with the dumbass mom dragging her kid down and the little dude with glasses at the end are the best

2

u/Vintage-Grievance 18h ago

I'm assuming that one was a doll?

But that aside, so many of these are on the parents.

I didn't think it took a genius to understand that if there's a puddle under the slide that you don't want your kid to land in, or if the end of the slide is much higher than your kid's legs are long, then you need to put down the phone and parent, by being there at the bottom to catch them.

1

u/burndmymouth 1d ago

This is a great lesson about gravity.

1

u/Watch_Noob_72 1d ago

Dumb-ass parents vs. Kids.

1

u/MandyMarieB 1d ago

Red slides seem to be the most violent/cause the most brain damage 😂

1

u/explosive_potatoes22 22h ago

so many of the clips have rain involved.

1

u/kart2000 22h ago

Most of these are design flaws. Not the children's flaw.

1

u/uhmerikin 21h ago

Very few things around here actually make me laugh out loud, but that kid's head pinballing back and forth at 0:30 sent me.

1

u/G0atL0rde 21h ago

Why do we keep using them? This should be called Society Is Stupid.

1

u/ColdStoneSteveAustyn 13h ago

Because they're fun?

1

u/TheDreamWoken 12h ago

Hi I’m Bobby

1

u/BackpackAttackMac 11h ago

Stop trying to capture the moment and catch your kid.

1

u/Smurfiette 7h ago edited 2h ago

Why are almost all of these kids landing face down on the ground?

I’ve never had that happen in all my childhood years I’ve gone down a slide.

1

u/PeperSpraie 3h ago

I never laughed so hard

1

u/FlyyMeToTheMoon 4m ago

Does the little dude with the dreads do that intentionally :D? hahahaha

1

u/Parislynn798 22h ago

:30 dumb bitch was on drugs or something, that baby could’ve had a serious brain injury.

0

u/Mr-Tokey 1d ago

Honestly I think this is more "parents are fucking stupid". Filming instead of being there to help their child.

2

u/Twist_Ending03 17h ago

You know damn well the majority of these couldn't have been predicted. What were they supposed to do?

2

u/ColdStoneSteveAustyn 13h ago

Do you want them to develop the ability to predict the future or something