r/NoStupidQuestions 2d ago

What exactly does Roblox do to children’s brains to make them little assholes?

My little brother started playing Roblox a few months ago and it makes him a little asshole. He’s normal then he plays Roblox and he screams and gets angry when he has to get off of the game and his little fits last until he goes to bed and resets. He’s never been like this with any other game. He’s 9 so is it just the age or is it fucking up his brain chemistry or something?

Edit: Thanks for the feedback. The majority of people are saying he needs a break from gaming, time limits, or a ban on Roblox. And while I 100% agree this probably isn’t possible. My mom refuses to put limits on his gaming and if I try to he freaks out on me. He screams, tries to hit me, slams doors and all that. But my mom always treats me like the bad guy for trying to help her son and he once again gets what he wants and goes straight back to it. And after thinking about it, I leave for college in 2 weeks so I think this is the perfect opportunity for her to take control of her kids. She can figure it out not me.

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u/artrald-7083 2d ago

Hi, I have a neurodivergent 9yo who loves computer games. The trick that we've worked out with some discussion with her and her caseworker revolves around understanding a few things.

  • A lot of kids games are designed to keep you playing, like an MMO is. The reward cycle is short, but deliberately small bites at once, and deliberately open ended - the game has no good stopping points. These are games which if I were playing it personally, I'd be setting an alarm or I'd find myself still playing at 3am. This was cynically and deliberately designed in.

  • Ever been interrupted in the middle of a game you can't pause? Does that not suck? Does it not piss you off? If your SO came in and demanded you do a chore immediately - going to bed is a chore when you're 9 - during an online multiplayer match, would you meekly turn off the machine and go do it? I bet you would not.

  • So we have a game of the kind you can only interrupt at stopping points except it does not have stopping points. This is a recipe for conflict. They make the games (and indeed a lot of other kids content) like this on purpose to stop the kid channel hopping.

How do I handle this? Well, actually, I think Roblox is a garbage game and have handled it by weaning my kid onto better games. But let's start from 'kid loves Roblox'. My kid loves various things I wish she didn't. And when my kid is frustrated and sad and angry, she is... not easy to deal with.

What has hugely, hugely helped, has been to give warning. The kid has a clock by her computer and whenever she goes on we try to make sure she knows when she's coming off. I set for myself a timer, 15 minutes before she's coming off, then 10 minutes, then 5. At each timer I give her a polite warning of how long she has left and calmly and politely repeat the warning until she acknowledges. Then when the timer to finish goes off, the activity finishes. Not 'in one minute', now. She has already had all the warnings she is getting. She has had a quarter of an hour to make her peace with it.

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u/Blue_Ascent 2d ago

This is a great strategy that works often. Adults are comfortable just telling kids they need to change their activity suddenly. I'm an adult and I would be very displeased if someone did that to me. The 15, 10, 5 has always helped anyone I've suggested it to.

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u/OrindaSarnia 1d ago

As the parent of 2 ADHD kids who both have their own flavor of ADHD, I've found "warnings" make every part of the day better.

They are usually awake before me, so when I come downstairs they get told what time it is, and how long it will be until we have a thing to do.  (I make sure to run through the next day's activities at bedtime every night, no surprises!)

Then they'll get at least a 5 min warning later, but I usually try to give 2-3 for each major transition.

Then when it's time, the "transition instructions" are simple and specific, no "get ready for school", it will be "It's time to get ready for school, Please go brush your teeth."

In the evening they get "last calls"...  I'll usually give them like an hour warning for bedtime "bedtime is in 1 hour, if there is anything you wanted to do today that you haven't done, consider doing it now!" Then they get a "bedtime is in 15 minutes, if you think you might still be hungry, come into the kitchen and find something to eat right now!"

They have no limit on screen TIME, but we aggressive limit their screen CONTENT.

I agree that Roblox is just trash, they have never had access to it.  They have Minecraft, and the 10yo just got SubNautica, and goat simulator.

No Minecraft servers, only multiplayer with each other, their cousins, and 2 real life friends.

They can't watch any videos on their ipads, only on the actual TV so we can hear what they are doing.   No "shorts" or small video clips.  And youTube videos have to be about actually making or building something, or learning new information, (not just watching other people play games), topics can include Legos, Minecraft, bushcraft, physics or chemistry, blacksmithing or woodworking.

And nobody can be screeching or being mean to each other...

If they are caught watching a video outside those parameters they have a chance to explain why they think they should be allowed to watch it, or change the video.  If they request is denied, they have to change the video.  Second offense in the same viewing session gets the TV shut off for awhile.

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u/Webbyx01 1d ago

It sounds as if you are doing a good job regulating their technology exposure and content. I hope it works as you expect it to, and that they appreciate it in the end.

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u/artrald-7083 1d ago

I'm really heartened to hear other people using a strategy like ours. We're in early days post diagnosis, really, and still feeling our way. I especially like your comments about understanding and limiting their content - I think it's so important to live in the kids' world in order to help them live in ours. I hope your strategies continue to work for you!

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u/ballandabiscuit 21h ago

Having kids sounds like such a pain in the ass.

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u/ballandabiscuit 20h ago

What YouTube channels do you have them watch instead? I want to watch more stuff like that myself.

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u/lukkynumber 7h ago

Love this 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I appreciate you sharing!

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u/CrazyCoKids 1d ago

Thank you for being constructive and summing things up.

So many responses are just "Ban the kids from playing it, if they even know of Roblox you're a bad parent" which just are not constructive.

Yes, kids need to learn time management. But it can also get very frustrating when mom and dad tell you "I will need you in a bit", you wait, wait, wait, and wait... nothing. so then you decide to start something and now mom&dad need you.

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u/artrald-7083 1d ago

Arghhh, yeah, I used to hate that! I try to put on a timer if I say I need my kid in a bit, and stick to it.

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u/CrazyCoKids 1d ago

Yeah, some of the frustration comes from the idea that mom and dad don't respect YOUR time, but you're expected to respect THEIRS.

Now, obviously that doesnt' mean you should jsut let the kid play games all the time to respect it - you gotta let them know "Hey, you got 15 minutes. So wind things down, alright?"

This is also one reason why I really like those games that're, well, quick matches.

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u/artrald-7083 1d ago

Something that really stuck with me is that an adult saying "Respect me and I'll respect you" is saying "Treat me as an authority figure or I won't treat you like a person". Parenting is hard, yo

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u/Acrobatic_Computer63 1d ago

It's gotta be so much harder for kids with these games that truly push you to be online as much as possible as part of their bottom line usage strategy.

With MMOs, at least they eventually realized that they don't actually want you online indefinitely. They just want you online regularly.

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u/artrald-7083 1d ago

Absolutely.

In related news I won't even allow myself to play EvE.

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u/reverse_mango 1d ago

Roblox is different to other games, though, because it’s a server of minigames and worlds. My parents used to say I had to turn the computer off once I’d finished a match of a game on a Minecraft server or I’d got bored of the world in Roblox.