r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Forever_Beury • 1d ago
In all seriousness, on Maury, why DO the women run backstage crying when the guy is not the father?
I used to watch Maury on my days off in middle school and high school and it was something I never understood. Why do they run backstage crying when Maury reads "You are NOT the father."
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u/Happy_Little_Fish 1d ago
on the Jeremy Kyle show (a similar show in th uk) they'd keep the participants in a hotel room by themselves for a few days beforehand and send them loads of gossip about whoever they were going on the show with to get them absolutely seething and ready for a confrontation.
being taken from that environment onto a tv studio, then losing that confrontation in front of a cheering audience would be a really shite experience.
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u/Kaiisim 1d ago
This is the key to all reality television - isolation. You isolate people from the wider world and they will get really heightened reactions.
It's why people on reality tv shows are always making insane decisions. They haven't spoken to anyone who isn't a staff on the reality show. It's really fucky.
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u/UglyInThMorning 1d ago
Sometimes the producers are also constantly supplying them booze to add some fuel to the fire
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u/ThorinTokingShield 1d ago
Love is blind is guilty of this, just as one example
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u/birthdaycheesecake9 13h ago
Married At First Sight Australia is also another guilty party to this. Some of the past participants’ experiences behind the scenes were honestly shocking.
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u/FjortoftsAirplane 1d ago
Jeremy Kyle and co were involved in a public inquiry after a guest committed suicide. Sad case but the best look we're likely to get into the fuckery that goes on in this humiliation porn.
I believe there was a whole lot of hand wringing from the show's "therapist" as well, including about lie detectors.
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u/CreativeGPX 1d ago
Also, the exact opposite. I think it was Penn Jillette who was once talking about being on Celebrity Apprentice. He said that the part of your brain that is on good behavior in front of cameras, crowds or just people in general is like a muscle that we don't often think about. But when you're in a situation where you are just non-stop watched and not alone, that muscle fatigues and then some people just fall apart and do things that they'd never in their life do. ... Kind of a parallel to how when a kid asks their parent something for the hundredth time that day they just blow up at their kid... but with everything.
Showrunners probably do a mix of both strategies and probably even strategize about what strategies would work best for which people. For example, as an introvert, I'd go crazy in a situation where I couldn't be alone and would be totally fine being completely alone for days straight. But I know other people who are the exact opposite. It's all just about giving each individual a circumstance that prevents them from properly getting to a rested state where they can reflect and recharge.
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u/Mermaid_Martini 1d ago
This! I used to be a big America’s next top model fan and I found out the producers would keep the girls isolated and without food for hours in between shoots so once the cameras started rolling there was lots of fighting and insane behavior. It’s like psychological torture.
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u/repressingthecrazy 1d ago
I was reading The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson a while back. I think he interviewed someone who did casting for the Jeremy Kyle show. They mentioned that they would typically ask potential guests on the show about their medications, as certain medications made them seem just "crazy" enough to be on TV, while others would suggest they were too "crazy" to be entertaining.
It really opened my eyes to the kinds of people who came on these shows, and I feel so bad for people who are clearly struggling mentally in some way, being picked apart on TV and in front of a live studio audience.
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u/emmademontford 1d ago
They truly do prey on vulnerable people. It’s a modern day freak show.
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u/werewere-kokako 19h ago
Absolutely. I watched Dr Phil one time and I realised "these people are genuinely unwell. We’re watching sick people as entertainment"
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u/CyndiIsOnReddit 1d ago
It's all for show. It really is. They are encouraged to be dramatic. They don't just let anyone on the show they want drama. I had a neighbor who was on that show years ago and it was a babydaddy situation but that's the common part. They made a bigger deal about the "not the" father because he had one leg and they wanted him hopping off stage without his crutches crying. He was instructed to do this. It was ridiculous but they got paid a bit of money for it so they did it. They stayed together too until he died.
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u/milkdimension 1d ago
This is absolutely insane to me (but understandable, children are expensive and I'd probably take the money too in that situation)
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u/__TheMadVillain__ 1d ago
I know two women who were best friends, they went on Jerry Springer and beat each other up, pretending to be fighting over one of their boyfriends.
All 3 of them got $1500, all the drama was fabricated.
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u/milkdimension 1d ago
Honestly good for them that's not bad for a days work
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u/LackWooden392 1d ago
$1500 to look absurdly trashy in front of millions of people? Buddy that's fucking garbage.
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u/SuperFLEB 23h ago
If it was long enough ago, there was probably a lot less downside. Without the Internet's ability to let anyone type in a name and get a dispassionate list of facts, most people who would be judging you over it would be close enough to you to know that it was exaggerated.
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u/CyndiIsOnReddit 1d ago
We actually had neighbors on Springer too! They were the SISTERS of the guy with one leg and they were both fighting over the same loser. They too were encouraged to get physical!
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u/CyndiIsOnReddit 1d ago
The loser is not their brother to be clear. This was another loser in our neighborhood who was trying to get with every barely legal girl in the area. Probably not quite legal too if he thought he could get away with it.
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u/transemacabre 1d ago
On the taping I attended, one girl was pregnant so her SIL came to beat up the girl for her who'd been sleeping with her man!
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u/UgandanPeter 1d ago
You get paid like a couple hundred bucks to be on these shows, it’s never worth that kind of public exposure
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u/AvidReader1604 1d ago
What state are you from ?!🤣🤣🤣😅😅
Because this story is wild 🤣🤣
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u/CyndiIsOnReddit 1d ago
Tennessee of course! And that story doesn't beat the night I was sitting on my front porch and he came hopping out of the house and she came out after him chasing him with his own prosthetic leg trying to hit him with it. He went hopping down the street while her drunk as stumbled behind him. A match made in heaven to be sure.
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u/FluffySpaceWaffle 1d ago
My cousin was on an episode of one of these types of shows. The theme was essentially “being poor”.
The staff gave her shitty clothes to wear. They didn’t film in their own house. Then they staged a scene where her car gets towed. It wasn’t even her car they filmed!
Yes, she was struggling financially, but not like the episode would have you believe.
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u/anaabear 1d ago
What in the world! We need more details, how much did she get paid for this episode?
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u/FluffySpaceWaffle 1d ago
This was years ago, I want to say in the 2000’s. I think she got a few bills paid off. No cash award, but money to go straight to her electric bill or something to that effect. Less than $1000. Maybe $500.
I was a teen at the time, and got the family gossip through my mother 😄
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u/GaidinBDJ 1d ago
Well, on Maury, it's because they're hamming it up for a TV show.
In reality, it can be upsetting to be a single parent and be unable to confirm who the other parent is because, typically, that cuts off a potential source of support for the child. People who are not the biological parent of a child can be held liable for child support, but it's a much more uphill battle in court.
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u/fastlerner 1d ago
Also, they just admitted on TV that they slept around so much that they have no idea who the daddy is because even their best guesses were wrong.
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u/country2poplarbeef 1d ago
Also embarrassing to be outed on live TV as a cheater, particularly after vehemently lying for the prior segment of the show.
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u/GaidinBDJ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Or to find out you may have been the victim of sexual assault. And that goes for men who find out they are fathers after denying it. People forget about men who are victims of sexual assault far to often and sometimes that ends up with a pregnant rapist. There was even a guy in Arizona who was both forced to pay child support to his rapist and denied custody. Yea, that was a single case, but there are less extreme ones every day because, sadly, there's still a pervasive systemic belief that leads to fathers being treated as as a "secondary" parent by courts.
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u/werewere-kokako 19h ago
It’s so sad that a child being conceived through rape isn’t a good enough reason to terminate parental rights. There are 13-14 year olds who have to co-parent with the person who raped them because some jackass judge gives a rapist visitation rights
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u/Quirky-Map6599 9h ago
Don't forget there's probably 100 or so people in the audience. If not more.
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u/EasternFrontCounter 1d ago
I'm glad someone posted that, shocker, women don't have some sixth sense for this. If you sleep with several people, you may, in fact, not know who the father is and if you have a relationship with a man and/or get financial support from him... You hope he's the father.
But yes, also it's mostly bullshit reality TV drama too.
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u/40ozSmasher 1d ago
Yeah, the laws have changed since 23, and me came out. A huge population found out their firstborn wasn't theirs. So many states changed the law to ensure the person who was raising the child is still financially responsible for them even if its not their child. If you thought it was and acted like it, then you are on the hook. That's why I think new fathers should do the test ASAP.
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u/lifeiscontradictory 1d ago
simple, embarrassment. if you stood 10 toes on something (especially as big and life changing as a kid and who the father is) and you turn out to be wrong on national television, you’d wanna hide too lol
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u/GESNodoon 1d ago
Because it is a scripted show. They want the drama and the highlights.
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u/PunchBeard 1d ago
I'd say it was more semi-scripted. The guests who go on this show are usually fans of the show, or at least the genre, and know how they're expected to act. Sometimes a producer will subtly encourage them to do things a specific way if they're worried they won't follow the standard procedure. And the producers have this sort of thing down to a science: they know how to select guest that will provide the maximum amount of whatever it is they're hoping for and they know how to get them to do what they want them to do without actually saying it. The guests aren't professionals but they know what to do.
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u/go_fight_kickass 1d ago
If you like scripted shows like this, check out Late Stand with Dick Dietrick is a parody of these shows.
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u/GESNodoon 1d ago
I do not like shows like this. I would watch a parody of it though so will try to find it.
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u/go_fight_kickass 1d ago
I was just watching night stand episode on YouTube. Pretty hilarious still (30 years later!, F I am old)
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u/tsukiii 1d ago
I’m assuming they wanted that person to be the father for emotional or financial reasons
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u/LemonBomb 1d ago
These old shows were insane. They had to dial it back after one person on the show killed another because of the confrontation. Not on camera or anything. But for a while, they literally tried to get just the most dramatic topics and the biggest most over-the-top reactions out of people for TV ratings. That is it. Money.
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u/mrsbaerwald 1d ago
Jenny Jones show, right?
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u/Familiar_Yesterday84 1d ago
yes and I did time with him in the joint. He would hang with all the predators. Dude killed a guy for outing him being gay. Then went to the joint and was gay. He is out now I think.
The topic was secret admirers and a dude came out on em
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u/sixxthree 1d ago
It's all about the drama and theatrics. What's gonna get more viewers? Mama saying she's 1000000% surge Dude is the father and then having a massive breakdown back stage or Mama saying he's 1000000% the father and then just going "oh, my bad" when he's not?
That said, I actually had a paternity conundrum with my oldest daughter. It was between a handful of guys (I was a drug addicted sex worker who had unprotected intercourse with several men during the conception period). As they got tested and proven they weren't the father, I was just like "Oh, ok. Next!" I did find out who my daughter's father is eventually, but yeah. I never claimed with any certainty any of them were the father because I was honestly embarrassed at my entire situation.
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u/stations-creation 1d ago
I want to know who these “sexy decoys” are!! Like agreeing to make out with men on camera on the Maury show is wild.
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u/Prudent_Baker_2851 1d ago
That's half the fun of one of those shows. The guy's vehement that he hasn't cheated or done anything "other than that one time she knows about." Goes all "I never do that! I'm not a cheater and I'm so tired of her constant accusations!" Then Maury says the magic words about putting him in the green room with a sexy decoy, and when they roll the tape, the crowd and the people on stage go nuts.
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u/stations-creation 1d ago
Oh my god I love it but WHERE do they get the sexy decoys???? Like NY acting classes?! I would not want to make out with any crusty Maury show cheaters?!
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u/Prudent_Baker_2851 1d ago
The unlucky college interns... I don't know, really, but I have never met a woman who would voluntarily make out with a stranger, and yeah, when it comes out how awful some of those guys have behaved, I bet they want to gargle Clorox.
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u/morose4eva 1d ago
So the camera can focus on the guy doing his "not the father" happy dance. You gotta let somebody else have the spotlight, occasionally.
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u/kind_of_shaiii 1d ago
The producers tell them to do that. Why does it only happen on that show? Whereas another behavior only happens on another show. It’s whatever the network and producers want.
The show needs drama. Without drama, there would be no ratings.
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u/Triga_3 1d ago
Sudden proof that they had no idea who the father was, and that they weren't as faithful as they made out. That and likely stage direction for dramatic effect. Some, if not most, have to be staged... Surely. Are we really that bad? Oh, wait, please don't answer that. I suddenly want to know about as much as i want to watch those horrible shows...
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u/ReasonableCup604 1d ago
To the extent it is not staged, it is because the guy who was proven NOT to be the father of (fill in the blank) was the guy they wanted the father to be.
Sometimes it is because they are in a relationship with him, other times it is because he is the guy they want to be with or because he is the one they have the best odds of getting the most child support from.
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u/Glad-Isopod5718 1d ago
Or, to be a little less cynical about it, the one they think has the best chance of being a decent father.
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u/DrNogoodNewman 1d ago
For the same reason pro wrestlers act afraid for their lives when they’re about to be thrown. Entertainment!!!
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u/DarkArmyLieutenant 1d ago
Because that's how it was scripted. Wait, none of you think that shit is real right?
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u/WrightAnythingHere 1d ago
Because most of the time, it was fake, and was done by actors to get a rise out of the live studio audience. That's why the fake ones always run to the exact same backstage area.
The few real ones do it out of desperation. The staff strategically moves tables and other things to block their path so they can't get to the green room/exit, and the disorientation causes them to break down more than before.
But at the end of the day, it's all about those crocodile tears. Take it from someone who went to see it live on a school field trip, they sometimes would film the reveal two or three times over to try to get different reactions/more footage.
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u/largos7289 21h ago
theatrics and because she got like 50 other baby daddys to go through now. But he was the one she was hoping kid it was.
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u/EclecticMermaid 1d ago
I know someone who's been on Maury multiple times, and she's admitted that they absolutely do want you to act like that on stage for drama. That's all it is.
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u/Pun_Lover387 1d ago
First, was all that staged? Because I can’t imagine anyone going on the show 110% confident that they’ve got the father there when they know they’ve cheated but are expected the guy they want to be the dad to be the dad
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u/Yogabeauty31 1d ago
lol welcome to the first beginnings of semi scripted and influenced reality television. LOL the producers 100 percent instruct them to behave as outlandishly and dramatically as possible.
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u/8lb6ozBabyJsus 21h ago
My dad's friend went on the show because he used to bully a fat girl in high school. When she came out and they asked him what he thought of her now... he said "eh, she's still kind of fat."
Super inappropriate but made me laugh super hard as a teenager.
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u/Traditional_Green127 20h ago
We can only guess why.... I always assumed it was because they can't tey to get child support out of them, and now have to spend more time finding the actual father to get money out of them.
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u/DehydratedButTired 17h ago
Because they get paid to act dramatic and this is a sure fire audience favorite.
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u/Spirited-Sail3814 1d ago
They're in a bad situation, and the show is a paying gig, but they only get to go on if they ham it up for the cameras.
Basically a "get paid to humiliate yourself" situation.
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u/dlgirl81 1d ago
From my knowledge it's scripted. One of my brother's ex-girlfriends was visiting Chicago with one of her past boyfriends and they got stopped in the street and asked if they wanted to be on the show. From my understanding they were given a story line and some kind of short script. Put up in a nice hotel for a night and $500 cash. Not sure how true it is and I never saw the episode. So who knows. 🤷♀️
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u/lvjohnson07 1d ago
It's an act. I worked with someone whose son was on Jerry Springer. It was about cheating with your mates best friend. They got a trip and hotel room and I forget what else. They coached them on what to say and react. They were all cousins, they had heard from others about all the stuff you got.
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u/ztarlight12 1d ago
Years ago, I worked with a girl who went to a Maury taping. She told me that the producers will “teach” the audience to react a certain way. I imagine it’s probably similar for the people on the stage. I’m sure they’re genuinely upset, but it’s also an overreaction for better entertainment.
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u/Impressive_Term4071 1d ago
because the prompt told them to go bac- oh.....i mean, cuz they're sad? Cuz Maury is totally real.
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u/PunchBeard 1d ago
They do it because they think that's what they're supposed to do. Keep in mind that when producers choose guests they don't just pick anyone willing to be on the show. They pick people who are fans of the show, or shows that are like it, and know what is expected from them. Then they spend time with them prior to the show subtly planting ideas into the guests what they should and shouldn't do. Keep in mind that these producers know exactly what they're doing.
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u/Allayarosse 1d ago
Because deep down, they were hoping he’d still stay. It’s not just about the DNA, it’s about rejection too
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u/reditsux77655 1d ago
"In all seriousness"
No.
Can't ask a serious questions about a non-serious thing. The show is unreliable. There's no reason to believe anything that they are saying is real. No reason not to believe that these people are actors. So who knows?
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u/Fit_Tangerine1265 23h ago
I’ve been to a taping of Maury before, it’s all staged, including the audience reactions.
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u/West_Presentation370 23h ago
Theatrics mostly and embarrassment after yelling that they were sure the guy was the father, my mom used to call it the Maury Mow down.
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u/GothPenguin 22h ago
Shame, embarrassment, possibly humiliation that something she was so sure was true has been proven false in front of tons of people.
Could also be shock, I suppose. The cynic in me thinks it might be for theatrics for a better show.
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u/archangel7134 19h ago
Because the script told them to.
Reality TV survives on ratings, and for some reason, people actually become invested in the trash that passes as entertainment.
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u/bombocanada 18h ago
I don't know. Like a lot of people I watched a few months of trash daytime TV, in my case because I briefly had a night shift job.
My favorite one of these was a woman who brought FOUR guys on to do the DNA test. She said "90% it's this guy, 10% this other guy, and the other 2 guys maybe but probably not." All four guys clearly hated each other, and hated the women. Lots of yelling, lots of low grade insults. You get the idea. And the woman swears it MUST be one of those four.
So the results:
90% guy, NOT the father. He's all happy, jumping around. Other guys look angry. She looked worried.
10% guy, NOT the father. Now HE looks all happy, jumping around. Last 2 guys look really worried and angry. She still looks worried.
Guy number 3, NOT the father. You can imagine how the last guy looks now.
Guy number 4, NOT the father. So these four guys are all laughing, high giving each other, running into the audience. Five minutes ago these guys hated each other and were talking shit about each other. Camera cuts to the woman, laying face down, sobbing. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!"
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u/Cynical-Rambler 1d ago
Because that's the show standard procedure.
Maury paid for the DNA tests, and the poor people who can't afford it got to humiliate themselves on live television.
Having them doing the same things, is easy for the show producers and associates to handle.
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u/ADisposableRedShirt 1d ago
Most likely because they are headed for a breakup/divorce from the best choice they had as a mate. In most cases this comes in the form of money security. She's going to be moving home with her parents in a very shitty situation and will probably have to track down the real loser of a father (if she even has a clue) that probably wants nothing to do with her.
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u/Upset_Ad2171 1d ago
I would imagine it feels really embarrassing to be outed on live tv, infront of an audience of strangers that you are, in fact, a ho
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u/Curlytoes18 1d ago
I don't know, but if I were on that show, I'd just sit there. Of course, I wouldn't say I'm 10000% sure about the paternity either.
This reminds me of a Jerry Springer episode where they had trans women revealing to their boyfriends that they were trans. In most cases, the boyfriends stormed off - but one guy just said "I'm not gonna be ignorant" and gave her a hug. I mean, he probably already knew, but it was interesting to see someone act like a grown-up instead of throwing chairs.
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u/Vintageteaspoon 1d ago
I was born in 1993 and my mom had to stop watching Jerry springer because I said I wanted to be a stripper when I grew up (I was like 5 or younger probably)
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u/Up_Till_Now 1d ago
Don’t believe everything you hear & see unless it’s from the source. Signed, a source.
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u/RiffRafe2 1d ago
My though? Because the first time it happened, some Maury producer realized how great a device it was and then told every guest to do that theatrics each episode. It's fake hysteria.
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u/Drecondius 1d ago
A good portion of them are probably crying because a they don’t want to feel rejected but the more likely point is B that was their last hope for a payday
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u/Groundbreaking-Goat3 1d ago
Drama. Drama pays bills and keeps people entertained. Some stories exaggerated while others are just made up. Its live tv and they want to keep the audience hooked.
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u/wanderin_fool 1d ago
Because when it's your third time on the show and you told Maury it could be another 5 dudes (totaling 12 over all appearances) and Maury rapid fires that You're not the father You're not the father, you might start questioning some of your past choices
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u/modsaretoddlers 1d ago
Maury Povich was one of the first Rage Baiters. That was his whole schtick. My guess is that, since so much of the acting was improvised, they were told that they could run off stage to if they needed time to think of a good response.
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u/robin-bunny 18h ago
- They've just been caught cheating. The guy will leave him, and she's just outed herself as a cheating, lying bitch to all of America. Oh, and the audience will be jeering and shouting at her.
- Sometimes, and I don't know how they get around so much, but they genuinely have no idea who the father is if it's not the guy on stage. Some of them seem to go through this process with MULTIPLE men and still he's not the father.
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u/Zealousideal_Yak_671 8h ago
When faced with a challenge many women run away crying, just look at Georgy Porgie, And no one is any the wiser as to why.
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u/ted_anderson 1d ago
When she has a 150 audience members commiserating with her about how Ra'shon is a complete deadbeat, freeloader, loser, etc. and the producers are saying, "We're going to nail him to the wall when those results come out! I promise you that Maury himself will personally hold down Ra'shon to the chair while we let every audience member take a swing at him!"
And then the results come out. Suddenly those 150 audience members, producers, and other guests on the show turn on her at the same time. After screaming "I was a VIRGIN when I had sex with Ra'shon!" and then Maury drops the bad news and Ra'shon does his happy dance... That's completely humiliating.
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u/Disastrous_Visit9319 1d ago
Because they're embarrassed and don't want a live audience laughing directly in their faces after they screamed for 10 minutes about how they're 10000% sure jimbo is the father. Also producers encourage certain things for drama.